I woke up to my mom talking to me this morning. She hasn’t woken me up for school in years so I knew it was gonna be bad. Then she said trump won. I simply rolled over and said “can’t wait to meet some cute girls at conversion camp” she laughed. But then she started to cry and said she’d smuggle me back to Ireland before she let them take me away. So to end this, I actually hate every single one of you who voted for Trump. And I can’t wait for you to rot in hell for whatever this Dorito Hitler does.