roshan abraham

If Superhero Movies were made in India

There’s something about the superheroes and the idea behind their relationship with humans, whether it’s a metaphor for the better part of us, or the more flawed part of ourselves.

Before Bollywood starts adapting the Superhero culture and starts making movies on it, we have picked a few and tried our bit on If Superheroes were made in India.


1.       SpiderMan: Tiger Shroff

The Boy next door turned Superhero is what Tiger Shroff can be best at


2.       Superman: Siddharth Malhotra

Imagine Siddharth Malhotra  in formals and specs, trying to struggle through his mundane life


3.       Batman: Hrithik Roshan

The Jaw line, the voice and the personality. Looks like our Greek God fits into the correct description of The Dark Knight


4.       Green lantern: Akshay Kumar

Bollywood Khiladi can be the perfect replacement of Ryan Reynolds, What say?


5.       Wolverine: Sanjay Dutt

The Bollywood Baddie Sanju Baba is the only Actor who can do justice to Hugh Jackman’s performance


6.       Captain America: Vidyut Jamwal

We have seen him in Force and Commando. No doubt he can pull it off, smoothly (with attitude)


7.       Thor: John Abraham

Give him his Mjolnir (hammer) and you will understand what we are talking about. “You have my word!”


8.       Hulk: Salman Khan

Need we say more? Isn’t it obvious why Bhai is the only one who can do justice to the Angry Hulk?


9.       Iron Man: Shah Rukh Khan

Looks- Check

Personality- Check

Attitude- Double Check 


10.       Loki: Arjun Rampal

Remember Ra.One? Is it just us or even you think he can play a kickass role as Loki?


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Baahubali: Fact Vs. Fiction
  • “Prabhas and Rana were not the original choices”

The entire team of Baahubali worked so hard for 5 years on the 2 films, so it’d be great if people didn’t disrespect the actors by recasting their roles. Also for the love of God, kill the rumors that the movie was first offered to Hrithik Roshan or John Abraham or whatever bollywood actor’s diminishing career you’re trying to validate. Here’s proof from Rana himself:

and this is the article that he was referring to:

And here’s a direct quote from Rajamouli from this interview:

“Surprisingly it is quite difficult for people to believe that he was on board even before the script was done. I wanted to make this huge, epic war film for a long time and we didn’t have the script on hand, but somehow I knew that he was my protagonist. I used to tell him…I didn’t have the story so I didn’t have anything to tell him, but I used to tell him the kind of historical kings we had, the characterizations of Rana Prathap, the characterizations of Sivaji, of Sri Krishna Devaraya, of all of the kings of India. And I used to tell him that these are the lines that I’m thinking on and wanted him to play. He loved it, he loved the idea, and when I finally told him the story of Baahubali, and said that I would be needing him for one or one and a half year, he laughed and he said ‘You’re not going to make this in one and a half year, I know it will take more time, let it be two or three years, I’m there for you’ and he gave his dates without committing to any other film”

  • “The VFX was done with hollywood talent”

There were also so rumors that Baahubali utilized the same VFX team that worked on Jurrassic World which was denied by producer, Shobu Yarlagadda. One of the co-founders of Makuta VFX, which previously worked with Rajamouli on Magadheera, Maryada Ramanna, and Eega, stated: “ Most of Baahubali was developed in Hyderabad, home to Tollywood, and used local talent. It was principally a homegrown feature produced by homegrown talent.“

  • “Karan Johar came on board because Baahubali needed Bollywood money to be made.”

That’s not true. Arka Media Works produced both films. What started as a single film, shot simultaneously in Telugu and Tamil was then split into two after realizing the scope of the story. The Hindi version was not on the cards until Rana, who has bollywood connections due to his prior movies, pitched the film to Karan Johar and convinced him of its capacity to be a national phenomenon. Then only did Karan Johar come on board as a presenter. He certainly deserves credit for heavily promoting the film and grabbing bollywood’s attention by having his name attached but he was not involved in the film making process. Rajamouli has stated many times that if Prabhas committed to Baahubali by not taking on any other projects, Rana did so by being the team’s “mascot” and taking it to new terrain.

  • “Rajamouli enhanced the character of Devasena after the criticism of Avanthika in the first part”

I have my personal opinions about the character of Avanthika but in general some of the criticism the character received is valid. However, the character of Devasena was not changed in order to avoid the backlash. Devasena is the character she was since the film went on floors. When the movie was first started, it was supposed to be a single film which is why they began shooting with the flashback portions that are seen in the second part. This still, which is from a scene in The Conclusion, surfaced even before the release of the first part which shows that the story did not change much. Also, the team has stated in many interviews that they did not make any changes to the story after the response to the first one. They did make some changes in terms of editing and VFX but the characterizations did not change.

Tamanna has said before that she came on board pretty late into the making. Its highly likely that the character of Avanthika was added to bring some “masala” and appeal to a larger audience. If you consider the role of Avanthika, the film could have technically happened without her in the story but that is not the case for the strong characterization of Devasena which is the driving force of second part’s plot. This isn’t to excuse some of the issues with Avanthika’s character but just to say that it was a result of last minute tweaking and Devasena was not was an “afterthought”.

  • “The Hindi audience supported Baahubali more than the Telugu audience”

Obviously if we look at the numbers, the Hindi version did bring in more money than the Telugu Version. However, its really unfair to say that Telugu people did not support the film as much when it was us who saw its rise from being a rumored project to the sensation it is today. If you want to look at the numbers, just look at the stats of the Hindi audience vs. Telugu. The Hindi speaking population in India is almost at 50% whereas Telugu is around 8%. Then take into account people living in the diaspora and there’s no way we can compete. Also there is a huge audience that does not speak any of the languages the film released in and by default probably saw the Hindi version because its closest to their native language or the one they’re most familiar with. Either way, we shouldn't quantify support with BO numbers because the odds are always going to against non-Hindi speakers. Don’t take this victory away from the Telugu industry that has long been ridiculed in the national media for producing only “masala” films. Don’t make this about you, because its really, really not. oh and btw, STOP TAGGING BAAHUBALI CONTENT AS BOLLYWOOD

  • Final Thoughts

Its really easy for us to sit here and just say, ‘of course they all gave their time and dedication to this project, anyone, given the chance, would have. its a once in a lifetime kind of franchise’. But keep in mind that when the film first began production, it was seen as HUGE gamble that had the capacity to end careers if it had gone wrong. It’s because they committed to this project and worked day and night on it that it is what it is today, not in spite of it. So please don’t undermine their success and hard work by basically deeming them as replaceable and let’s give credit where its due. 

Of course no cinema is without its faults but sometimes we just need to set aside our critical lens and lets ourselves succumb to the masterpiece in all its glory.

Also the team is full of genuinely kind and humble people who have racked up a lot of goodwill over the years in the industry and I couldn’t be happier that they’re the ones receiving all this success and glory because if it was anyone else, it probably would’ve gone to their heads. 

and finally for good measure here’s an Instagram post from Rana, just in case you didn’t love these two enough already

baahubali: here goes my rant.

First of all, if you’re thinking this rant is about the movie. You’re really mistaken. It’s about my overall done-ness with the bullshit Bollywood’s been pulling. And before someone says “oh you’re a bolly blog how can you hate bollywood!1!!!1!!1″ i’m freaking telugu before i’m hindi and i’ll always be. so llsten to the bullshit that comes with being a south indian in a north indian fandom because trust me, it’s really exasperating. 

First things first, the fandom: baahubali is not a bollywood film. period. end all discussion. my word is law. that was a reference if you watched the movie.  Kindly learn the difference between dubbing and remakes. Let’s give you a scenario. If I dub for Anushka Sharma in NH10 for the telugu dubbing, does that make Anushka Sharma telugu? Does Telugu dubbing make NH10 a Telugu movie? No. So kindly learn the difference between dubbing and remakes. Remakes aren’t 100% Bollywood either. If I rewrite the lyrics to a song and keep same tune to a song, does that make it my song? Does that make a 100% my movie and my idea? NO. So like why do you have to watch crappy remakes? I’ve had my share in watching remakes, have I said they’re better than the original? Not once. Because remakes are just that, remakes. So like guys, you do have to branch out sometimes and realize that a remake is….a remake, don’t tag remakes JUST bollywood, tag them bollywood and tollywood/malluwood/kollywood/etc. Thank you. 

second things second, the bwood big guns: I saw a thing today and it said Prabhas and Rana weren’t first choices for Baahubali, it was Hrithik Roshan and John Abraham. YEAH RIGHT! Prabhas was promised this movie freaking 6 years ago. 6 YEARS AGO. You want to tell me that before he even had the idea in his head of the movie, he wanted to cast Hrithik instead? That’s bull freaking shit. Rajeev Masand. Stop reviewing films and calling the avalanche cheap and undressing her a weak link when there’s movies such as Ra.One and Ek Paheli Leela out there. But oh I’m sorry right it’s not like that had anything to do with the story at all right? Just gaining her trust so he can do her job. And Salman Khan, stfu. You did not tell Rana to become an actor. Rana’s been on film sets since the age of 7. He dropped out of school when he was in the 10th grade to pursue film, and you had something to do with that? Nah, nah, nah. If you were really that exponential in his career then he would atleast mention you in KTLVC, one of the biggest interview show of Tollywood. So kindly stop yourself right there. 

summary: basically if there’s a movie getting success out there, you should do the decent respect to treat it like it needs to be. not calling it bollywood when there’s not one hindi actor in the entire movie and telling people you told Rana to become an actor when he’s been on film sets since he was 7. 

hero party

eventually, aladdin forgets the lamp in the bottom of the cave. he stumbles out to get his lighter and light his cigarette, and as he wafts the smoke around and takes quick note of a lingering headache which he fears is the onset of a migraine, the cave door closes behind him. He turns around and pulls his fists tight and tries to open the door of the cave. He bangs on the cave door until his fists hurt. He begins to panic, gets frustrated, slumps down against the cave door and wishes this was just a dream. Somewhere at the bottom of the cave a pink gas diffuses from the lamp and a smell like perfume, jasmine, orchid, and semen spreads out and stains the cave walls. At the end of his journey from the underworld, Orpheus turns his own weeping head into a bowling ball and throws it perpetually into the gutter in order to make Eurydice laugh. Eurydice watches from her home laptop in her pajamas but does not laugh. She clicks over to pornography in another tab.  Spiderman is not really spiderman; he is a Doctor, he lives with his elderly aunt who has dementia. He takes the train to work every day and listens to comedy podcasts on his ipod and he watches a documentary about highwire artist Phillpe Petit. ‘Ah,’ says Spiderman, ‘it must be amazing to feel so brave and alive’. But it does not feel so great; it still feels awful, says Phillipe, for pleasure merely fills the vacuum of itself. Years later, President Obama dies masturbating alone.

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Roshan Abraham

Whispers (remix of Whisper by Roshan Abraham)

Louie leaped up, grabbed my ankles, and pushed my body along the ground, yelling mean-spirited words at me. I picked up the words with my teeth. In this house we whisper, harsh and coarse. We whisper out the window, playing in this house, in our mouths, silly swords in our hands. Louie is all competitive. She slams prayers, all dicey from her larynx. She explores meat-caves, then runs her fingernails all over my vocal chords. The air makes eye contact. Wrestling air to a whisper. Crawling out of like a firefly. Houseplants deathly like heat. Louie lions a carcass. I climb on her shoulders. Slightly hunched as it’s a tiny room. Telephone with plastic cups for a receiver. Holding my voice with my other hand. Walking the distance up to Louie’s mouth. She disappears into rope. She jabs time. Beleaguered, I down my throat into her eyes. She becomes thinner. The sword goes into the sword, further deflating her. She slinks away, fingers glued to her head. Shrinking to the size of a search lamp. Louie running toy trucks past the bedroom. My Mother slinging gin across my mouth. Louie’s hand dragging a red glint across the sword. The cat comes in. Crawls onto the sofa bed. Hops down, up and into my larynx. Louie shrinks words by my neck.

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Shane Jesse Christmass is dominating this zine of mine.