Which Bioshock character should you fight?
  • Jack Ryan: I mean, you could, but you'd get your ass handed to you. Besides, hasn't this poor baby had enough? Don't fight Jack Ryan.
  • Atlas: Fucking do it. Fucking- I will PAY you to beat the shit out of this Irish bastard. Fight Atlas. Fight Atlas and win.
  • Brigid Tenenbaum: You could fight her, but why? She's done nothing to provoke you. The woman is probably dying of lung cancer anyways. Leave Tenenbaum alone.
  • Sander Cohen: Fight the creepy son of a bitch and bring me back his painted mustache.
  • Andrew Ryan: Sure, fight him. It'll probably change nothing, and you'll garner nothing but the knowledge that you're his test tube bastard, programmed from birth to do the bidding of a looming capitalist overlord.
  • Frank Fontaine: Kill the looming capitalist overlord.
  • Subject Delta: You could, but at what cost? He's a gentle giant. You'd be better off giving him a hug. He's just trying to be a good dad, okay? Don't fight Delta.
  • Sinclair: Sure, you'd win, but what pleasure would you derive from it? I mean, the man's tried to apologize for his wrongdoings. I guess if you're one to hold grudges, then maybe you could fight Sinclair.
  • Eleanor Lamb: She will kick your ass and smile while she does. Just... don't. Don't fight Eleanor Lamb, please.
  • Sofia Lamb: Sure, but it really wouldn't be that great of a fight. She's probably not that strong. You might have to fight off some splicers to get to her, but ultimately it really wouldn't be that satisfying of a victory.
  • Booker Dewitt: Kick his ass. You'll lose, but it'll be totally worth it to kick his teeth in a little bit. Fight Booker Dewitt.
  • Elizabeth Comstock: Look, you could fight Elizabeth. Or you could not mess with space-tearing punch-packing genius babes and leave the room with all bones intact.
  • Zachary Hale Comstock: Fight this man. Fight him to the death. FUCK Zachary Comstock.
  • Daisy Fitzroy: Fight her. But know that you WILL lose and it'll be devastating.
  • Rosalind or Robert Lutece: Don't fight the Lutece twins. They won't land a single blow, they'll just find a universe where you got your ass kicked and your nose will bleed until you die of anemia or something.
2

Drunk Robert forgets to use his inside voice and talks way too close to people’s ears, and Drunk Rosalind gets awfully cocky and annoys the hell out of Comstock.