ron ward

you know what would have been great? if ron got sorted into slytherin.

imagine– we have this kid on the train, the first friend harry meets, with his corned beef sandwiches and smudged nose. ron is eleven years old and he wants gryffindor, because he’s a weasley and that’s what always happens. but it doesn’t happen.

what a way to redeem slytherin house– or, god, at least complicate it. because ron is petty. he is mean and sharp and ambitious and jealous– and he is loyal to the ends of the earth. he is all those things, and he is and always has been good.

potter becomes before weasley in the alphabet, so harry says not slytherin please and gets told might as well be gryffindor. percy and fred and george are all sitting there in red and gold, ruffling the already-ruffled hair of the boy who lived, smug, and then ron sits down and the hat spits out slytherin!

c'mon it’d be fun. just imagine–

  • the weasleys freaking out– but even that first christmas molly sends him a sweater in beautiful green and silver.

  • snape taking points from gryffindor when ron breaks rules or mouths off. “i’m in your house.” “hm, couldn’t tell which weasley it was…” /drifts away

  • sitting with harry in potions and in flying– whatever classes they happen to share. meeting up to study. scarfing down their breakfasts at separate tables so they can go hang out in the empty classrooms before the day starts. hermione reads while they play exploding snap.
    • the trio signing up for all the same electives third year. this friendship being something they earn and work for; not just the one that looked easiest. (not to bash canon ron&harry, the bros to end all bros, but by putting this very obvious obstacle between them– it makes it that much clearer to the reader that this is a love worth fighting for, because they’re fighting for it).
    • ron being jealous that harry and hermione get to share this house, this home, these hours, while he’s stuck with malfoy and parkinson and goyle– because that would eat him up some days, some months, this insecure kid who’s been the last at everything all his life. this kid who always leaves and always comes back.

  • ron, who constantly compares himself to his brothers– not as smart, not as popular, not as good. one more nail in that coffin, here, yeah? he’s not a prefect, not a quidditch star, not a troublemaker– and even when he becomes those things, someone else has always gotten there first
    • well, i guess he got to this house first at least

  • ron still snaps at snape in potions, after hermione’s been ignored three times, “you know, sir, i think hermione might know the answer.” he still pulls the bars off harry’s window with a stolen, flying car. he still shows harry around the burrow shyly, not knowing what a wonder a warm home is. he still stands up in the shrieking shack as best as he can with a broken leg and tells a mass murderer that if he wants harry he’ll have to go through him first. 
    • ron weasley is a lot of things, but one of them is absolutely a true friend.

  • in their second year:
    • when everyone calls harry the heir, they eye ron at his side and sniff.
    • when hermione lays petrified in the medical ward, ron sits at her side and reads her homework assignments aloud and thinks my house this was my house
    • when ron hugs ginny’s damp, shaking frame after the chamber, ron says sorry and sorry and are you okay and i’m so sorry and ginny calls him an idiot.

  • the trio spends more time in the library with hermione, since ron can’t come to gryffindor tower to study, and homework remains a thing that has to happen. fred and george constantly try to sneak him into the tower anyway. 
    • “c'mon, ronnykins, you belong here, you deserve it, no one’s gonna fuss, it’s your BIRTHRIGHT,” and ron fusses and rolls his eyes at them
    • and then in fourth year in one of those periods where he’s not talking to harry and harry’s not talking to him– he just snaps at the twins
      • because it’s not, alright?
      • not his birthright, not his house, and maybe no one would fuss if he snuck in, maybe no one would care, and that makes it worse not better, because then he’s just that weasley who should’ve been gryffindor
      • and isn’t
    • (and harry overhears this caterwauling, feels his heart fall to his toes, and goes and awkwardly asks ron if he wants to go a few laps on his firebolt). 
    • (because, god, harry-the-chosen-one, harry-in-the-cupboard-under-the-stairs, harry-who’ll-save-us-all– he knows what it’s like to have should have beens on your shoulders, and he knows what it’s like to not be wanted).

  • ron cheers for gryffindor during quidditch matches in those first few years, and sits with hagrid and hermione and neville. harry’s seeker, and fred and george are beaters, and ginny becomes chaser eventually, and honestly screw the slytherin team. they have each and every one of them said disparaging things about ron’s mother.
    • harry and hermione badger ron into trying out for keeper fourth year; he and harry have been practicing on the quidditch pitch because its a non-library-shaped place to hang out where both of them are allowed. ron makes the slytherin roster, and malfoy grudgingly provides ron a team broom after the captain chews him out for a bit.
      • “he may be a weasley, but he’s our keeper, don’t you want to win, draco”
    • but the sort of things they spit in the locker room, the words the players hiss or snigger, the slurs that come easy to their tongues– ron would like to say that he considered just walking out of the cesspit, but instead he snipes and sasses and shouts and sometimes tries to spell slugs at the worst of them. 
      • it doesn’t do much, that one irritated voice of protest– except that it does. and he’s got a new (hand-me-down) wand, after the gilderoy fiasco, so the slugs even come out the right end.
    • fred gives him a black eye with a bludger one time (though ron does manage to block the quaffle) and molly sends a howler to gryffindor table with the morning post. (“RON DID YOU TATTLE”) (“IT WAS CLEARLY PERCY, FRED, SIT DOWN”)
      • (the weasleys often have family conversations across the great hall, with hufflepuffs and ravenclaws covering their ears long-sufferingly between them)

  • in the lake, it’s still ron hanging there in the water, still and bloated. it’s still harry’s heart that stutters in his chest, for all it’s just a game, just a game, just a game, right?

  • ron listens hard and tries to talk himself out of fist fights, all that next year in the slytherin common room as they read aloud rita skeeter articles.

  • when hermione calls dumbledore’s army to its first session in that pub, there are green scarves in that crowd– ron and one of the beaters who ron’s gotten to help glare to rest of the slytherin quidditch team into submission.

  • ron beats draco to being prefect (i think i remember it was dumbledore and not mcgonagall who seemed to award prefect status– snape doesn ’t get a say).
    • percy is SO PROUD, as usual, but so are fred and george. “did you see the little malfoy git? green with shame, my god.”

  • when harry has the dream about sirius, ron isn’t there to wake. but when draco’s pulled out of bed to be a professional bully– er, i mean inquisitorial squad member– ron follows at a careful distance and curses draco from behind. 
    • they ride thestrals over london. harry finds the prophecy and ron thinks about the sorts of things that get decided at your birth.  
    • sirius black was a son of slytherin who had a lion living in his chest that he couldn’t hide away. 
    • ron was meant to be gryffindor, and through a haze of injury and fear he watches sirius die just out of harry’s reach.

  • just imagine: ron with his temper and his sharp words and his fierce loyalty. ron who looks into the mirror of erised and sees house cups and prefect badges and ambitions earned– he could belong in slytherin. there is nothing wrong with wanting things, and he wants them so bad.

  • there are so many reasons to fight a war, and so many ways. harry and his sacrifices, his loving resignation. hermione’s good right hook and bottomless bag of supplies. luna, brilliant and a bit batty. lee jordan’s radio and mcgonagall’s burning patience and brittle, certain bones.

  • just imagine: when the last battle comes, there is a slytherin on the field who is not snape.

  • when draco and his parents walk away, in that last battle, ron–
    • who slept in the same dormitory as the boy for six years
    • who heard draco’s nightmares and saw him paling and desperate all sixth year
    • who is as pureblooded as lucius’s spoiled whelp
    • who remembers grimacing at the thought of squibs
    • who has known magic all his life
    • who spotted draco penning letters home to his mother every sunday and hiding them when the other boys could see–
    • ron sees them going.
      • he sounds no alarms. he says no farewells.
      • he turns back to his friends, and his fight, and lets them be.

  • just imagine: when harry kneels on the train platform and his second son asks him “but what if i get sorted slytherin, dad?” harry can say, “the bravest man i ever knew was in slytherin house. whatever you are, wherever you go, we’re going to be so proud of you." 
    • and they can both gaze over to where ron is squawking beside his daughter’s trolley of luggage because crookshanks (who will live to be forty eight million years old) has latched onto his shins with a violent fondness.
A summary of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season one:
  • Ward: Who is working for HYDRA!?
  • May/Fitz/Simmons/pre-Daisy/Trip: *Start blaming each other*
  • Ward: I will not rest until we find out who betrayed SHIELD!
  • Ward (talking directly to the camera): I betrayed S.H.I.E.L.D.. I was raised by Garrett after he broke me out of jail for burning my house down. I predict in ten minutes from now they’ll be at each others throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good - It was getting a little chummy around here.

“Before there was time, before there was anything, there was nothing. And before there was nothing, there were monsters. Here’s your gold star!”

-The Lich, “Adventure Time”


Title cards from the Gorgo franchise: 1961 - present

Having recently re-read some of the early ‘60s Gorgo comics from Charlton, I got to thinking about another world where Gorgo was a popular and successful enough film to spawn a long-running kaiju franchise of its own.

Detailed history of the franchise (directors, trivia, etc.) under the cut.

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brighter than the sun

(I’ve been rereading Harry Potter lately and fic was only inevitable. Mostly canon-compliant, diverges from DH just enough to indulge all my little headcanons.)

Harry watches him with wary eyes, and all at once Ron wants to either snatch him into a tight embrace or shake him until his teeth rattle.

“You,” he says, very clearly, “are an idiot.

Harry doesn’t blink, but he draws away somehow without moving at all, and Ron stalks a solid step forward that makes sure his friend is cornered.

An article appeared two days ago in the Daily Prophet, one that boasted The Chosen One’s Secrets Revealed! with exclusive interviews conducted by none other than Rita Skeeter herself – interviews with Harry’s rotten Muggle family, who, Ron thought with more cruelty than he was used to thinking with, probably saw a stack of shiny Galleons and were happy to sit in the same room with a few freaks for as long as it took to land that gold in their greedy pockets. Nevermind what it would do to Harry, nevermind the kind of conclusions Mind-Healers and scholars and Harry’s teachers and friends would rightly draw from the article.

It’s not like the Dursleys came out and said they locked Harry in a cupboard and fed him through a cat-flap and left bruises on his arms from where they grabbed and yanked too hard, but what they did say – even looking past Skeeter’s blatant editorializing – said more than enough.

And in the wake of the public outcry, Harry disappeared. Locked the Floo in Grimmauld Place, strengthened the wards to keep out even owls, and Ron stood on the Apparation point and stared at the front door just out of his reach, drowning in a cresting wave of dread and worry and aching sympathy.

Then he went to George for a way to get through Grimmauld Place’s toothed defenses. And without hesitating, George put aside the horrible-looking device he had been working on – “For Skeeter,” he offered, without smiling –and gave Ron a violent hammering spell that would work.

(If Ron is ever, for some reason, asked to rank the members of his family by their levels of iron-clad devotion to Harry Potter, George would only be second to himself. Harry knows grief and loss and hopeless yearning better than anyone, and comes the closest to understanding the gaping hole in George’s heart after the war, and is probably the only reason George could be coaxed back from the terrifying, perilous edge he had been living on since the day that Fred died. They’re still close, even now, and George loves Harry dearly.)

As in the way of all Wheezes, benevolent or otherwise, George’s spell did its job better than well. Ron felt the wards break without remorse (it’s not like Harry would have to fix them on his own, after all) and ignored the heavy ache in his limbs as his wells of magic all but drained in favor of kicking the front door open and stamping into the entrance hall. And that’s where he found his best friend – wand in his pocket and out of reach, because he could pick Ron’s magical signature apart in a crowd of thousands, and he knew who it was storming their way inside – staring at Ron like he had never seen him before.

He’s still staring, with eyes the color of lightning, and that only means he’s two seconds away from either anguish or anger, and Ron has to force his temper down under the heel of his foot to make sure neither of them blow up.

“You’re an idiot for thinking you had to hide from me,” he clarifies with forced calm, fists clenching. “How could you think – honestly, mate, I’m at a loss here.”

Hermione is out of the country, on holiday with her parents in France; a holiday Ron opted out of, in favor of the case that had landed on his and Harry’s desks last-minute, and thank Merlin for that. He doesn’t know what might have happened if both of them had been gone when this fresh hell broke loose. As it stands, he wrote to Hermione immediately, hardly more than two lines of urgent need you along with a clipping of the headline story that turned the Wizarding World on its ear, and he knows it will only be a matter of hours before she comes home and brings her own special brand of wrath down on Skeeter and the Prophet and any unfortunate soul who happens to be standing in between.

It isn’t often they get to bare their teeth at the world and protect him, for a change. Harry is strong enough to weather most blows without flinching, with his wild magic – fractured irreparably, ever since that final, day-long duel with You-Know-Who – and his iron-clad control of that wild magic, and his working knowledge of Defense that’s as deep and rich as a sprawling forest. But certain things can cut his legs out from under him as easy as breathing, and never before in such a big way as this.

(Harry stands unflinchingly between his friends and danger as if that’s all he’s good for, but Ron has always known why. Ron was twelve when he saw the bars on Harry’s windows, but it’s not as though he’s forgotten.)

“I didn’t – ” Harry starts, and stops, and then pushes on again with the same remarkable courage that called Gryffindor’s sword to him in the Chamber of Secrets. “I wasn’t hiding from you, Ron.”

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On this day in music history: November 21, 1970 - “I Think I Love You” by The Partridge Family hits #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for 3 weeks. Written by Tony Romeo, it is the debut single and biggest hit for the fictional family band fronted by singer and actor David Cassidy. The television sitcom “The Partridge Family” is originally conceived and developed as a vehicle for the real life family band The Cowsills. The group end up passing on the series when the producers make it known that they want to replace their mother Barbara Cowsill with actress Shirley Jones. The producers also cast Jones’ stepson Cassidy in the role of eldest son Keith Partridge. Producer Wes Ferrell (the series music supervisor) finds the song “I Think I Love You” from songwriter Tony Romeo (a staff writer at Ferrell’s publishing company) who had previously written the hit “Indian Lake” for The Cowsills. Initially, Ferrell intended to use only professional studio singers on the records, but changes his mind when he discovers that Cassidy can sing. Recorded at United/Western Recorders in Hollywood in the Spring of 1970, “Love You” features members of the famed studio collective The Wrecking Crew including Hal Blaine (drums), Joe Osborn (bass), Larry Knechtel, Mike Melvoin (keyboards), Louie Shelton, and Tommy Tesdesco (guitars) playing on the track. Cassidy sings lead vocals with Jones on background vocals (with John and Tom Bahler, Ron Hicklin and Jackie Ward). Released in mid-September of 1970, prior to the shows’ network debut, it is an instant smash. Entering the Hot 100 at #75 on October 10, 1970, it streaks to the top of the chart six weeks later. “I Think I Love You” is the biggest selling single of 1970, selling over three million copies in the US alone. The song also forms the basis of rap duo Nice & Smooth’s hit single “Hip Hop Junkies” in 1991. “I Love You” is also prominently featured in the comedy “Trainwreck” in 2015, when actress and comedian Amy Schumer performs it at the films’ end. “I Think I Love You” is certified Gold in the US by the RIAA.