romance sure is complicated

Me [spade] Hussie

For the record, I love having my literary theories destroyed. Love it. It’s a profound shock of cognitive dissonance, like a really good joke combined with a horrible pun and a sneeze and possibly an orgasm.

My first time, the first one that I remember actually making me swear out loud at the author, when I was young and easily impressed, was Anne Rice. She had Lestat break the fourth wall to say, “You there, reading, with the velvet bookmark and probably too much eye makeup, hoping I’ll slip in your window at night? Yeah… I won’t.”

Other prior flames include Joss Whedon’s inevitable but impossible to predict mid-season turns in Buffy, where suddenly the core conflict is something totally different than was set up in the first half.

I love railing like a thwarted supervillain against the inevitable of the author cackling at me. Hussie is the best authorial fuck I’ve had in years, if not my entire life.

Wherein initially Kirk <3 Spock <3< Bones <> Kirk; Uhura angles to auspistice her way into something more concupiscent, thus destabilizing the entire system; Spock and Bones wildly vacillate quadrants until Kirk can’t appropriately moderate Bones’ mood swings; Spock is the only one strong enough to pacify Bones; the system restabilizes as Spock <> Bones <3< Kirk <3 Uhura <3< Spock; Contains 15 folksy racist epithets against Vulcans, 25 instances of witty repartee, three fights featuring torn shirts, two rampage-related deaths, and a transporter malfunction.

[Image description: troll romance novel cover from Homestuck, with the four heads replaced by McCoy as the naked blueblood looming over Spock the rustblood warrior kissing Kirk the tealblood lady whose bustle is clung to by Uhura the indigoblood lady.]

[Production notes: in the source images, McCoy was looking at an instrument with Chapel, Spock was speaking to Rand, Uhura was about to kiss Kirk, and Kirk was fighting a Gorn.  Yes, the only image that made Kirk look rapturously kissable was a hate-tussle with a Gorn.]