rolls into a bear cave

gettin-schwifty  asked:

Fiddleford & Ford for 79 please?

NUMBERS

79. “That’s the third time I’ve saved your life!”

Fiddleford had prided himself at being stronger than he looked in college. It always caught people off guard when the skinny southerner lifted up something wider than than his twig like form. He could lift a lot of things but since leaving the farm and getting more into the ‘sit-down’ kind of life he had lost some of that strength. 

This was one of the moments where he wished he had still had it. 

Fidds found himself tramping through the woods supporting most of his partner’s weight.

“That’s the third time I’ve saved your life!” Fiddleford exclaimed, “This week probably with yer track record!” 

Stanford laughed lowly and limped along with the other man’s quick pace. Every time he tried to put down his right foot a shock of pain went up his leg. This was the last time he tried to tussle with the gnomes. 

“We are only in this mess because they tried to take you,” Stanford reminded him. 

“Because yer so obsessed with what is under their hats,” Fidds shot back, “Can’t you just leave them be, Stanford? It would keep be livin’ for a good long while and you can live out yer thirties before you die from wandering into a bear’s cave.” 

“I would not wander into a bear cave,” Stanford scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Unless it was that legendary multi-bear but I am not too certain that exists.” 

Fidds sighed and helped Stanford over an fallen log. “You are unbelievable.”

“No. I am a man on the trail of the greatest scientific find this side of the- AH!” 

Stanford tripped over the last log and landed on his face in the back yard of the house. Fiddleford looked down at him. 

“Oops,” he said casually, “Sorry, Stanford, must have lost my hold on ya when you were going into your dramatic speech again. It is just that amazin’; makes you drop whateva yer holdin’.”

“I hate you sometimes, you know that?” 

Half the party is asleep by the road, the half orc fighter and the high elf wizard go to fight a cave bear.

Half-orc: doing 50+ damage a turn but doesn’t seem to have big effect on the bear.

Wizard(ooc): I better help him out, I cast fireball on the bear

Wizard: rolls a 1.

Dm: Your fireball goes past the bear into its cave and you hear the dying yelp of a cave bear cub.