rolls eyes

Whether Han and Leia were “bad parents” or not is really irrelevant to the fact that Snoke was grooming and preying upon Ben Solo canonically since he was in the womb. I think they had their failures, but they loved their son. Parents make mistakes, period. Sometimes GOOD people do the WRONG things that end up affecting their child in irreversible ways. Saying maybe Han and Leia had a hand in what happened with Ben is not shitting on their characters  – it’s trying to look at the interesting story that’s being told and finding out the “whys” and “hows” of it – and recognizing the realities of our real world and how this story could help us reflect on that. Good people fuck up. Good parents fuck up. Kids with good parents can still be preyed upon by horrible people and lose their way.

Edit: Also, Leia was apparently aware of Snoke and didn’t know how to handle it… which is another factor here. It’s understandable… but as an allegory, it seems a lot like how parents aren’t equipped to deal with their mentally ill child and so they do nothing or put it off on others. Again, understandable, but still… a mistake and deficit in parenting.

Also, while Han was sometimes present during Ben’s childhood – he was also sometimes an absent father and husband. Leia OPENLY thinks on this in the extended canon novels – she thinks about Han and Luke when she’s pregnant with Ben, and how she just wished they were there and not traipsing around the galaxy when she needed them sometimes.

And Han was sometimes absent not just physically, but EMOTIONALLY, ok? The man wholeheartedly never feels he can connect with his son at the level Leia does because of Ben’s Force sensitivity, and that DOES affect their relationship. He admits he isn’t sure if he’s cut out for being a father. While, YES, he took Ben to the races and all that and OF COURSE he loved his son… he didn’t connect well with Ben. He actively mentors OTHER young kids and forms attachment to them as replacements for Ben because of this lack of connection between them [[as he did with Rey in TFA ]]– that is canon, too, so… I dunno, says something about how Han felt as a father to Ben, imo.

Add on top of this Leia, Luke, and Han all neglecting to tell Ben his TRUE heritage – all the while probably telling him how GREAT Anakin was. He was this Jedi, and so is Luke! WOW! Meanwhile, Ben is wrestling with this darkness inside him, and this creepy old, rumpled up piece of chewed up gum is sticking his tendrils into Ben’s mind and warping his view. Ben almost certainly felt like a total failure in the face of this unachievable legacy before him. And it WAS unachievable, because Luke and Anakin BOTH had gravely faced the Dark Side at different points – although Anakin fell, while Luke did not.

Yeah, you know, lying to your child their entire life so that they feel like the struggles they face must make them “broken” and “wrong” sounds like a really healthy foundation for a relationship. **ROLLS EYES**

Also, we don’t know the reason yet WHY Ben was sent to be with his uncle and if it WAS because of some big Force accident… like, to bring it to a personal level, I dunno about you but if my parents had been like, “sorry kid, you’re a crazy autistic and we can’t handle you – best if we send you over to your auntie because it’s too much for us to handle… I’m sure you can understand”… well, as a CHILD I’d be heartbroken. I would have internalized that. It would have broken my spirit and soul. Kids don’t realize that kind of behavior can have logic to it – they internalize things like that and make it about rejection.

Like… I’m sorry, but that’s the whole POINT with Anakin, too. That the Jedi Ways™ advocate this detachment from family and loved ones and force kids away from their family and those they love to “condition” them into using a part of the Force and SHOVING DOWN the “dark” parts – anger, frustration, fear, love, attachment, passion.

Also, Ben Solo did not cut off contact with Leia just because he felt like being a dick to his mother. Luke and Ben were traipsing around the galaxy in unknown regions and sometimes transmissions were lost – that’s why he didn’t interact with her for long periods of time. I am seeing a stupid ass post float around about how Leia and Han could NEVER HAVE BEEN PARENTS WHO EVER MADE MISTAKES because… people don’t want to believe that good people can be bad parents.

Ok, to add a FINAL note to this rambling vaguepost, I also want to mention that there are more ways than one to have a “bad” or traumatizing childhood. Trauma is not a blanket experience. While Ben had two parents who loved him and who he loved, and he had an uncle who was probably eager to teach and train him… that doesn’t mean they couldn’t make mistakes or that he could experience no trauma outside of his family’s influence. That Snoke was grooming him since INFANCY should be a BIG ASS CLUE that he was traumatized.

Speaking as someone who was also groomed and abused by an adult as a child, it haunts you your whole life. You can never let go of the things that person says and does – they hang over you like an eternal dark cloud. It’s traumatizing, so don’t reduce that kind of trauma just because society likes to sensationalize different kinds of trauma, like extreme poverty.

Wow, this post is fucking long, but I’m tired of seeing that damn post float around like it’s all a one-dimensional, flat story that you can make sweeping statements about. I didn’t even cover every bit of what I wanted to say but this is long enough as is and probably won’t be read by many people anyway.

A Sad Sandwich

Originally posted by idontfuckwithyouuuuuuuu

Steve Harrington x Reader

Requested from the ‘I want the K’ list:
10. Neck Kiss
21. Then there’s tongue

*This is set in the ‘Not in Front of the Baby’ timeline, but is also a standalone piece.*


To be honest, Y/N couldn’t even remember what had started the argument. All she knew was that it had spiraled out of control at an alarming speed. She sat on the sofa, sniffling with her head in her hands, feeling lower than low.

Y/N and Steve had arguments, not often, but they did have them. Though, it scared Y/N that this had been their worst yet. Hurtful things were said on both sides, and blinded by anger, she told Steve to get out.

And he did. He left. And he took Scooter with him.

Keep reading

Conclusion 2x04

Spoilers ahead

Previous Conclusion 👉 2x03

  • How did Andi solve that cube so fast?
  • I have a problem Jonah and Cyrus could be in the same room together and I’m screaming JYRUS!
  • Buffy basically finding a her twin and realizing that she doesn’t need to be that competitive
  • Warning #Jyrus overload up ahead
  • Jonah legit asked Cyrus how to say Doshious Magosious in Hebrew he’s such a dork and I love it
  • Jonah teaching Cyrus how to skateboard
  • Jonah telling Cyrus he’s “one of a kind”
  • Jonah getting all worried when Cyrus goes flying like superman over the bush
  • Cyrus getting all excited when he breaks his thumb and calls it his “milestone”
  • Anyone else notice how Cyrus rolled his eyes at Buffy when he told her not to sign to big
  • I’m not okay with that, like Andi Shack is there you can’t just take The Shack
  • We now know the reason why Bex left
  • Cece actually said something nice to Bex
  • All the Mack Chat kids dressed in all black 😂
  • Next episode based on preview…
  • Andi and Amber have a sleepover
  • They sneak into the carnival
  • Andi goes on the ferris wheel
  • Andi’s phone rings
  • It’s Jonah calling
  • Amber sees this and she obviously gets jealous and it looks like she leaves Andi at the top of ferris wheel
  • The cops show up
  • I really want to see next episode now
  • By the way Tj stealing that ball away from Buffy during the basketball game is just messed up and I really hope Marty shows up next episode
  • BOWIE!
  • Bowie comes back
  • Which mean Bex and Bowie time, or maybe not I just really ship them and I’d wish they’d date but I’ll wait
Maybe, if I post every time this happens, abled people will stop thinking that this sort of thing is rare.

A while back I was sitting by the restaurant in Ikea and using my phone while I waited for Marvin to buy some things.

I was seated at one of four high-backed chairs arranged around a low coffee table. Across the table from me was a stranger, his young son sat in the chair to the right of me, and his daughter, who was about nine-years-old, sat on the floor at the coffee table. She was colouring and her brother was playing on a DS.

Their father stared at me while pretending he wasn’t. It’s pretty obvious when someone is watching you from eight feet away, though. I didn’t get angry vibes so I wasn’t concerned and just pointedly ignored him while catching Pidgey after Pidgey.

My phone had a semi-transparent, soft plastic case on it. I usually covered it with cute stickers. At that time, it had large words written in sharpie on the back that said, “It’s rude to stare”.

I was absorbed in my game when the stranger across from me laughed suddenly, loudly, and pointed me out to his daughter.

“Her phone says, ‘It’s rude to stare’,” he said.

He chuckled and looked at my face, expecting an explanation.

I stared at him.

He stared back.

I sighed.

“Oh, yeah. People stare at me a lot,” Just like you were, I thought. I waved my phone to show off the words. “So I wrote that on there. So, yeah.”

I went back to my game. Guy chuckled again.

“Really, people stare at you? Why?” He asked.

I looked up from my phone. I stared at him.

He stared back. I raised my eyebrows. He kept waiting for an answer.

I held up the butterfly-printed cane that had been leaning against my legs by way of explanation. “Sometimes I use a walker or wheelchair, too.”

“And people stare?” He pressed.

“Yep,” I said shortly.

“Wow. Well, you know, I think it’s probably because of their own personal fear.”

I seriously bristled at that. The tone was awful, really patronizing.

“Yeah. Seeing disabled people in public is a real shock. We remind people of their own mortality,” I said humourlessly, adding in some sarcastic laughter for good measure. I tried to signal my disinterest by lowering my head and leaning over my phone screen.

“Yeah-” he said, charging full speed ahead like he didn’t even need me for this conversation. He clearly had something to say all prepared.

"And you know, it’s funny. But I used to be scared of- people- people with disabilities,” he said, with a smile and lean-in, touching his fingertips together, making me want to punch his face.

I was in a bit of social shock. I just kept thinking, are you kidding me? This Ikea food court confession is happening right now, huh?

“Not physical disabilities, but mental disabilities.”

He was so smarmy, you guys. When he said that, I think my soul left my body. And I had no idea how to either respond or extricate myself reasonably. 

I hesitated, looked from this guy to his children, who were watching the exchange with awkward interest.

“Oh. Uh. Well, I’m autistic, so…” I let my words trail off. To this day I have no idea where that sentence would have gone.

“Oh. Oh! But I mean, you can’t tell,” he turned tomato red. “You’re so well-spoken and- I guess you could say that you have really overcome.”

As he was fumbling, I was giving him an exaggerated but sincerely felt grimace and an unimpressed "ehhh”.

At his pronouncement of my overcoming, I sat up straight and said, loudly and pissed enough that his children started looking worried, “Uh, yikes. No.”

Guy’s daughter looked like she would rather he did anything but continue talking, but that’s what he did. Like any allistic abled white dude worth his salt /s, he powered through, ignoring my obvious and projected displeasure.

“But, I mean. In school, it’s funny, because it ended up that most of my friends were handicapped. I guess I kind of protected them-” His voice took on an artificially soft, sticky quality. It was at this moment that I snapped.

“Okay. I’m going to cut you off there,” I said. I put my hand up. His tomato face spoiled.

“What? Why?” He seemed torn between expressing frustration and wanting to appear kind-hearted and open-minded in front of his children.

“Well. Uh. Ugh,“ I looked at his kids, wondering how harsh or how kind I should be. I hated that he put me in this spot. In that moment I hated him so much.

"Well, you’re saying a lot of stuff that non-disabled people think is nice to hear, but it’s not. It’s just- it’s just not.” I knew it was pointless to try to explain. My words were failing fast. He didn’t really care, anyway.

“I wouldn’t even be able to explain it to you,” I shrugged.

He gaped at me. Now he was angry. This wasn’t going how he had wanted it to.

“I know you’re coming from a good place. But it’s not nice. It’s just not… yeah.” I gripped the handle of my cane in one hand and my phone, Pokémon Go forgotten, in the other. I fought the urge to literally run away. I felt the surreal pressure of my behaviour being one of these kids’ formative disability-related experiences.

“Oh. Uh. Well. Okay. Sorry,” he said, embarrassed, not sorry. “And uh, thanks for saying that,” he said, trying to get me back. I looked away.

“I just-” he started. Even his children looked unhappily surprised that he was trying for that last word.

“I just want to say that you’re great.

I didn’t look at him. I smiled at his daughter, who smiled back out of habit, more confused than anything. His son looked down at his DS, secondhand embarrassment turning him red too.

“Hmm. Well, your kids seem nice,” I offered breezily.

After that, I moved away from the circle of green chairs and sat in an uncomfortably high stool in the corner. I hid there, head down, my hands shaking very slightly, feeling paranoid. Like I failed. And that my friends, is ableism.