rolling fork

James Potter: seventeen, hair got struck by lightning at age four and hasn’t sat down since, knuckles that jut out, holds his wand between his teeth to impress girls- to impress the girl, doesn’t own one pair of matching socks, the kind of attractive that fills the ribs, fills the shoulder blades, fills the heart, Sirius painted his nails once and he kept the polish on all week, sees the girl before registering anyone else in the room, young organs pumping young blood, wired to himself, to his boys, to the girl, can tell what you’re about to say before you say it, he’s just sort of like that, has a habit of leaning arms on peoples shoulders, starts the trust fall before anyone realises they’re  meant to be catching him

Sirius Black: seventeen, eats whipped cream by the fork full, rolls up the sleeves of his robes, begins most conversations with: you absolute fuck, column of his throat running down the neck like water, leaves his text books all over school, made of gut feeling, of instinct, of starting before you know how to finish, a part of him still stuck in that house, with the door slamming, with his mother yelling, with the world ending,  he is the bomb going off in the swimming pool, he has probably made a bomb go off in the swimming pool, smoking just outside the door- look- you can see the smoke, you can see the shaking hands.

Remus Lupin: seventeen,  jumpy, long eyelashes, the sullen quiet of fog in winter, scars up the arms, round the neck, across the chest, eyes that stare as if they are waiting for permission, plays the same records until he’s mouthing the words in his sleep, gives out flowers for gifts, sarcasm that could stop the heart, soft, like the skin above your collar bone, like stained glass windows with light through them, like seeing a star in a textbook, knowing that  something that good is out there even if it is far away, often has wind billowing through his baggy t-shirts, pulls out his bottom lip when thinking, at night wakes up sweating, dreaming of blood in his mouth, the kind you get when you rip an arm off, when you lick the bone clean.

 

Peter Pettigrew: seventeen, socks right to the knee, eating an ice cream, has a sore neck from always looking up, raw fingernails- bitten to the cuticles, full of fear, oozing fear, could fill cathedrals with this fear, burns books for no reason, unmade bed, the flush of a cheek that is bloated, a mound of blood, sits on the floor because there is no room at the table, counts on his fingers, pulled a muscle when walking up the fourth staircase, shuts his eyes, opens them, realises he is still in his own skin, pale, a stick of white, unassuming, like flowers, or the moment the ground gives way, all at once, as if it was going to all along

Wreath Pizza


The things you’ll need

Ingredients
Dough
  • 1 package active dry yeast
  • 1 ½ teaspoon sugar
  • 1 cup warm water
  • 3 cups bread flour
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon salt
Pizza Sauce
  • 14 ounces tomato sauce
  • 6 ounces tomato paste
  • ½ cup water
  • ½ teaspoon chopped fresh oregano
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
  • ½ teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
  • 1 head garlic
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • Salt and pepper to taste
Topping
  • Red bell pepper
  • Pepperoni
  • Basil
  • ½ cup mozzarella
Equipment
  • Stand mixer with hook attachment
  • Large glass mixing bowl
  • Medium pot
  • Pizza pan
  • Small fork
  • Rolling pin
  • Rubber scraper
  • Baking sheet lined with parchment
  • Small cutting board
  • Knife
  • Bench flour
  • Pastry brush
  • 6-inch cake pan

Let’s get started!

Dough
  1. In a medium bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
  2. Stir in 1 cup of flour until a thick paste forms. Add salt, oil, and remaining flour. Let rest for 5 minutes.
  3. Work dough into a ball and then set aside.
Pizza Sauce
  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. Cut the head off of a large garlic bulb, exposing the cloves and drizzle with olive oil. Wrap in foil and heat in the oven for 45 minutes to an hour. Remove garlic from package and cool slightly.
  3. In a small saucepan, mix the sauce, paste and water with a whisk until smooth. Add roasted garlic, fresh herbs, salt and pepper.
  4. Bring to a simmer and cook for 5 minutes or until thickened slightly.

Time to decorate!

  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. Cut a red bell pepper into thin strips (these will be the bow).
  3. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and pat or roll into a round. Place onto a pizza pan and then cut a large circle out of the middle of dough.
  4. Spread a thin layer of pizza sauce on the dough. Sprinkle shredded mozzarella on top of the sauce and then place pepperoni on top of cheese. Arrange the bell pepper strips into a bow at the top of pizza.
  5. Bake for 12 to 18 minutes
  6. Allow to cool slightly and then arrange basil leaves around the wreath.
After breakfast sex.

Type: Obviously smut lmao

A/n: Thanks for the request anon, hope u like it :-)

“Wipe your face.” Chen directed at you, his eyes scrunching up as he watched you stuff another syrup coated pancake inside your mouth.
“Wipe yours.” You shot back, eyes closing in content as you chewed slowly, the warm cake heating up the inside of your mouth.
“I don’t have anything on mine.” He scoffed at you, his fork poking into a piece of sausage.
“Oh right, sorry, that’s just your face.” You mumbled back at him, your eyes opening to catch him chewing on his food, not even paying attention to you anymore, his attention directed at a stray piece of egg he couldn’t quite pick up with his fork.

Keep reading

Batman Pizza


The things you’ll need

Ingredients
Dough
  • 1 package active dry yeast
  • 1 ½ teaspoon sugar
  • 1 cup warm water
  • 3 cups bread flour
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon salt
Pizza Sauce
  • 14 ounces tomato sauce
  • 6 ounces tomato paste
  • ½ cup water
  • ½ teaspoon chopped fresh oregano
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
  • ½ teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
  • 1 head garlic
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
Topping
  • Cheddar cheese
  • Mozzarella cheese
  • Whole black olives
Equipment
  • Stand mixer with hook attachment
  • Large glass bowl
  • Medium pot
  • Pizza pan
  • Small fork
  • Rolling pin
  • Rubber spatula
  • Knife and cutting board
  • Bench flour
  • Pastry brush
  • Batman cookie cutter

Let’s get started!

Dough
  1. Preheat oven to 450ºF.
  2. In a medium bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
  3. Stir in flour, salt and oil and then beat until smooth. Let rest for 5 minutes.
  4. Place dough onto a lightly floured surface and pat or roll into a ball.
  5. Transfer crust to a lightly greased pizza pan. Prick the dough all over with a fork and cover lightly with sauce. Bake at 450ºF for 5 minutes.
  6. Spread the remaining sauce over the pizza and bake again at 350ºF for 8 to 10 minutes.
Pizza Sauce
  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. Cut the head off of a bulb of garlic, exposing the cloves and drizzle with olive oil. Wrap in foil like a package and bake on center rack in oven for 45 minutes to an hour.
  3. In a small saucepan, mix the sauce, paste and water with a whisk until smooth and then add all the cloves of roasted garlic, the fresh herbs, salt and pepper.
  4. Bring to a simmer and cook for 5 minutes or until thickened slightly.

Time to decorate!

  1. Generously spread grated mozzarella cheese over the pizza sauce. Spread grated cheddar cheese into an oval shape in the center of the pizza.
  2. Dice olives and then gently place a batman cookie cutter in the center of the melted cheddar. Carefully fill the cutter with diced olives and then slowly lift the cutter.
  3. TaDa! Time to save a hungry Gotham, one cheesey pizza slice at a time!

yacaph  asked:

There is this girl i really like. She's beautiful, hilarious and smart and a great kisser and her name rhymes with shoe and she's sad sometimes and I want to make her feel comfortable. But I know that in some situations you can't help someone no matter how much both of you want it. I just want to make sure she knows how much i like her. Anyways my question is: WhY THE FUCK DO YOU NOT LIKE SPAGETTI. Okay lost my cool for a while anyways, love you babe. ❤️

Well.. she sounds wonderful. I’m glad you have someone like that in your life. (Kidding, or am I??)

Also Spagetti is just ugly! Okay, I’m ready for the hate, bring it on… but I just don’t even understand the concept behind Spagetti?? All that work to put them on your fork and roll shit up?! When I could just have NORMAL SIZED noodles (*hihi* she said noodle). Like WTF. I have a million points more than that, but people don’t have to know how weirdly often I think of Spagetti. 😂 (..also is it Spagetti or Spaghetti??? FUCKING DECIDE)

…Love you too ❤… bitch (I can’t be all cute, it feels weird, okay)

Snowman Pizza


The things you’ll need

Ingredients
Dough
  • 1 package active dry yeast
  • 1 ½ teaspoon sugar
  • 1 cup warm water
  • 3 cups bread flour
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon salt
Topping
  • 1 cup mozzarella
  • Olive oil, for drizzling
  • ½ ricotta
  • Sliced black olives
  • 1 orange bell pepper
  • 1 red bell pepper
Equipment
  • Stand mixer with hook attachment
  • Small fork
  • Rolling pin
  • Rubber scraper
  • Decorating bags
  • Baking sheet lined with parchment
  • Small cutting board
  • Knife
  • Bench flour
  • Pastry brush
  • 6-inch cake pan
  • 8-inch cake pan

Let’s get started!

Dough
  1. In a medium bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
  2. Stir in 1 cup of flour until a thick paste forms. Add salt, oil, and remaining flour. Let rest for 5 minutes.
  3. Work dough into a ball and then set aside.

Time to decorate!

  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. Cut bell peppers into strips
  3. Roll dough out onto a floured surface. Using a 6-inch and an 8-inch cake pan, cut out rounds from the dough.
  4. On a prepared baking sheet, overlap the smaller circle on the large circle to create a snowman shape
  5. Drizzle the snowmen with a little olive oil then spread the ricotta to cover the pizzas. Sprinkle the grated mozzarella over the top. Place black olive slices for buttons and eyes, orange bell pepper for the nose and arrange the red bell pepper strips for the scarf.
  6. Bake for 12 to 18 minutes.

Hearthstone Cherry Pie


Yields 1 quarter sheet pie

The things you’ll need

Ingredients

Doughx2
  • 2 ½ cups all purpose flour
  • 2 tablespoons sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • ½ cup butter flavored shortening, chilled
  • ½ cup salted butter, chilled
  • 6 tablespoons butterfmilk, chilled
  • 1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
Filling
  • 3 cups pitted red tart cherries, fresh or canned
  • 6 + 2 tablespoons cherry juice
  • 1 cup sugar
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ¼ cup all purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Topping
  • Whipped cream in decorating bag fitted with #829 tip
  • Whipped cream in decorating fitted with #4B tip
  • Egg wash
Equipment
  • Large mixing bowl
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • Small mixing bowl
  • 2 rubber spatulas
  • Plastic Wrap
  • Rolling pin
  • Bench flour
  • Fork for docking
  • 2 quarter sheet trays lind with parchment paper
  • Baking spray
  • Pastry cutter
  • Medium sauce pan
  • Whisk
  • 2 round cookie cutters
  • Small sharp knife
  • Pastry brush

Let’s get started!

Dough(Make twice)
  1. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, and salt and then add cubed butter and shortening. Work between fingers until the mixture no longer has large chunks of butter.
  2. Drizzle in ice cold buttermilk and vanilla. Work in the buttermilk to form a dough.
  3. Form the dough into a disc and wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for 2 to 24 hours to set.
Filling
  1. In a small bowl whisk flour and 6 tablespoons of cherry liquid until smooth. Set aside.
  2. In a medium saucepan, stir together cherries, 2 tablespoons cherry liquid, sugar, and salt. Place over medium heat and continue to stir and cook until sugar dissolves, about 2 to 3 minutes.
  3. Stir slurry into cherries and increase heat to medium high. Cook until mixture starts to thicken, another 3 to 5 minutes.
  4. Remove from heat, stir in vanilla and then allow to cool at room temperature.
  5. Preheat oven to 375ºF.

Time to decorate!

  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. Roll dough out to ¼ inch thick and place into a greased baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Dock the dough with a fork then spread cherry filling evenly along the bottom of the sheet. Save a little bit of filling for the handpie.
  3. Roll out second dough and cut out long strips using a pastry cutter or a paring knife.
  4. Arrange strips of dough in a lattice pattern. Crip the overhanging dough into a rope border.
  5. With the excess dough, cut out 2 circles using a cookie cutter. Use a small knife to cut a hearthstone swirl into the center of one of the circles
  6. Roll out the dough that remains and cut out a hearthstone sun.
  7. Assemble handpie with remaining cherry filling and the smaller hearthstone rounds. Place handpie on center of sun design.
  8. Egg wash and bake at lattice pie for 60 to 70 minutes.
  9. Egg wash and bake hearthstone handpie for 15 to 20 minutes.
The signs as kitchen utensils
  • Aries: Spoon
  • Taurus: Spatula
  • Gemini: Toaster
  • Cancer: Blender
  • Leo: Ice cream scoop
  • Virgo: Fork
  • Libra: Rolling Pin
  • Scorpio: Knife
  • Sagittarius: Mixing Bowl
  • Capricorn: Whisk
  • Aquarius: Cheese Grater
  • Pisces: Tongs

Tree Pizza


The things you’ll need

Ingredients
Dough
  • 1 package active dry yeast
  • 1 ½ teaspoon sugar
  • 1 cup warm water
  • 3 cups bread flour
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon salt
Pesto
  • 2 cups packed fresh basil
  • ¼ cup lemon juice
  • ¼ cup pine nuts
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 2/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • ½ cup grated parmesan
  • Salt and pepper to taste
Topping
  • Basil
  • Cherry tomatoes
  • 1 yellow bell pepper
Equipment
  • Stand mixer with hook attachment
  • Small fork
  • Rolling pin
  • Rubber scraper
  • Decorating bags
  • Baking sheet lined with parchment
  • Small cutting board
  • Knife
  • Bench flour
  • Pastry brush
  • Star cookie cutter

Let’s get started!

Dough
  1. In a medium bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
  2. Stir in 1 cup of flour until a thick paste forms. Add salt, oil, and remaining flour. Let rest for 5 minutes.
  3. Work dough into a ball and then set aside.
Pesto
  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. Use food processor to combine the basil, lemon juice, pine nuts and garlic.Pulse until coarsely chopped. Add oil and then process again.
  3. Add cheese and sprinkle in salt and pepper. Pulse until it all comes together.

Time to decorate!

  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. Prepare toppings by cutting cherry tomatoes in half. Cut a star from the yellow bell pepper using the cookie cutter.
  3. Roll out dough onto a floured surface to ¼ an inch thick. Transfer dough onto a parchment sheet and cut into a tree shape. Place onto baking sheet.
  4. Prick the dough with a fork and cover lightly with pesto. Top with basil, tomatoes and yellow bell pepper star.
  5. Bake for 12 to 18 minutes