roll and dough

Gill brought back some canned cinnamon roll dough from the store which reminds me that the reason I had to teach myself to cook in grad school is because in middle school their version of “teaching us how to cook” was having us make cinnamon rolls from a can

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Nintendo Switch Cookies


Yields 12 cookies

The things you’ll need

Ingredients
  • 2 ¾ cups all purpose flour
  • ½ cup + 2 tablespoons dark cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 ½ cups sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • ½ teaspoon almond extract
  • Black candy pearls
  • Black licorice gumdrops
Equipment
  • Large mixing bowl
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • Whisk
  • Rubber spatula
  • Baking sheet lined with parchment paper
  • Rolling pin
  • Pastry brush
  • Rounded rectangle cookie cutter
  • Red, blue, black, grey royal icing in decorating bags fitted with #2 tips

Let’s get started!

  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt.
  3. In a large bowl, use a hand mixer to beat butter until softened. Add sugar and beat until light and fluffy.
  4. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla and almond extracts and mix until well combined.
  5. On low speed, beat in the dry ingredients and mix until well combined.
  6. Shape the dough into 2 disks about 1 inch thick. Wrap the disks in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour up to overnight.
  7. Roll dough out on floured surface to ¼ inch thick. Use a rounded rectangle cookie cutter to cut out cookies and place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  8. Freeze cookies for 10 minutes.
  9. Bake for 12 minutes, rotating during baking.
  10. Remove cookies from oven and cool for 2 minutes on baking sheet. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Time to decorate!

  1. Use black royal icing to pipe the outline of a rectangle in the middle of each cookie. Pipe a smaller rectangle outline inside of the first.
  2. Pipe a blue outline on the left side of each cookie and a red outline on the right.
  3. Allow the outlines to dry and then fill in the screen with black and grey royal icing.
  4. Cut 24 gumdrops in half.
  5. Fill in the blue outline with blue royal icing and then quickly place the rounded gumdrop half and two pearls into the icing. Do the same for the red side.
  6. Use black royal icing to add fine details. Repeat decorating steps for the rest of the cookies.
  7. TaDa! These Nintendo Switch Cookies give you the perfect excuse to play with your food!

(Zimbits, AU, 3.7K, click “read more” for the whole fic.)


Thanks. You can put it on the counter in the kitchen.”

That had been Jack’s first mistake.

It wasn’t so much the words he said, but rather the fact that he’d said them in French.

However, to Jack’s credit, he had been in the middle of revising a chapter when he’d heard the knock on his door, and the fact that he hadn’t had any caffeine yet due to the broken coffee maker had thrown off his entire morning.

He had been expecting Georgia, the lady he rented the cabin from, to be standing on his door step. However, instead of the landlord, he got a blond guy with wide, brown eyes staring back at him.

There was a sort of gurgle of surprise and a nervous giggle from the other guy for a moment before he blurted, “Hi, I’m your new housekeeper!”

Jack raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything in his confusion. Francine, Georgia’s wife, usually stopped by once every couple of days to tidy up the place, but neither of the two ladies had mentioned anything about a new hire.

Jack must have been lost in thought for a moment too long because the other guy took this as a sign that Jack didn’t speak English. “Uh, you know, cleaning?” He mimed a sweeping action and then pointed at Jack. “Ummm, je… travaille pour Georgia?” he said in a truly horrendous accent.

Jack gave an impatient nod of his head.

Je m’appelle Eric or you can call me Bitty. Actually, je m’appelle Bitty,” he said proudly with his hand out.

There was something about the other guy’s candidness that made Jack pause, or maybe he had been trapped in a cabin for too long, but he reached out and took the handshake.

It’s nice to meet you,” Jack replied in French.

And that had been his second mistake.

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Fantastic Beasts Queenie’s Apple Strudel


Yields 1 strudel

The things you’ll need

Ingredients

Strudel
  • 1 ¼ cups all purpose flour
  • ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
  • Pinch of salt
  • 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1/3 cup water
Filling
  • 4 Fuji or Gala apples
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1/3 cup sugar
  • ½ teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 cup chopped pecans
  • 6 tablespoons butter, melted
  • ¼ cup raisins
  • 1 tablespoon water
Apple Roses
  • 1 or 2 Fuji or Gala apples
  • Lemon juice
Equipment
  • Large mixing bowl
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • Wooden spoon
  • Rubber spatula
  • Whisk
  • Large slotted spoon
  • Cutting board & knife
  • Peeler
  • Baking sheet lined with parchment paper
  • Rolling pin
  • Pastry brush
  • Glass measuring cup

Let’s get started!

  1. Whisk flour, salt and cinnamon in a medium bowl.
  2. Drizzle in oil and water and mix with a spoon until a dough starts to form.
  3. Knead for 8 to 10 minutes until the dough is soft and supple.
  4. Place in a bowl and cover with a towel. Let dough rest for 30 minutes.
  5. Peel and chop apples and then mix them with lemon juice, sugar, cinnamon and salt. Let the mixture stand to release some of the moisture.
  6. Microwave raisins and water for 30 minutes to plump and then add them to the apple mixture.
  7. When the dough is ready, roll it out using a rolling pin to about the size of a sheet paper, then begin to slowly stretch it thin.

Time to decorate!

  1. Preheat oven to 425ºF.
  2. Trim off the ends of one side of the dough to create ribbons. Braid the ribbons together to make 3 small braids.
  3. Brush the dough with melted butter and sprinkle with chopped pecans.
  4. Using a slotted spoon, scoop out the apples and place them along the side of the strudel dough.
  5. Roll the dough around the apples and place onto a baking sheet.
  6. Brush the strudel with remaining butter and attach the braid, brushing the braid with butter as well.
  7. Bake at 425ºF for 20 minutes and then 350ºF for another 30 minutes.
  8. Cool and top with powdered sugar.
  9. Cut the remaining apples into thin slices with a rounded edge, leaving the skin on the apple.
  10. Micorwave the apple slices in water and a little lemon juice for 3 minutes.
  11. Make apple flowers by shingling the slices and rolling them into a flower.
  12. Place the flowers on top of the strudel and serve.
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4

LAVENDER-ROSEMARY-LEMON SHORTBREAD

These little cookies may not look like much, but they’re seriously some of the best ones I ever had. Improvised the recipe but here goes:


Ingredients

- 4,5 dl / 2 cups flour
- 200 g dairyfree butter/margarine/other veggie fat
- 0,5 dl / 0,25 cups white sugar
- 0,5 dl / 0,25 cups unrefined sugar
- Zest from organic lemon
- Dried lavender
- Dried rosemary
- A little maple syrup

Instructions

Mix all ingredients except the syrup in a food processor until it’s one big lump of dough.

Roll the dough to a cylinder shape (see pics), cover in plastic and let it rest in the fridge for half an hour.

Turn on the oven to 175 degrees C.

Cut the dough cylinder into 0,5 cm thick discs (well obv you can make them whatever shape you like). Spread them out evenly on a baking tray with some space in between.

Brush the cookies with a little syrup, sprinkle some rosemary on them, and bake in the middle of the oven for like… 8 minutes (keep an eye on them, it’ll differ depending on the oven etc).

Now you’ll never want to eat anything else ever again!

anonymous asked:

What's your favorite recipe?

not combat rations, thats for sure. ive had enough of those for a lifetime. 

but my latest food hit has been pretzel bites. pretzels are an awesome food but rarely available fresh when i want to eat them, which is usually when i’ve woken up in the middle of the night. they’re relatively labor-intensive to make, which is good once the insomnia sets in. keeps me busy. plus, pretzels are sweet on the inside, salty on the outside, just like me. except im also salty on the inside. dont listen to steve.

when i make pretzels, it’s by the metric ton, so the recipe i have makes approximately a million of them.probably you will not want this many, because you don’t have thor or steve to help you eat them. or clint. probably you could just shove some into a vaccum cleaner instead, thatd be about the same. so divide the recipe in half or quarters for normal human consumption. take 11 cups of flour, 1 cup of brown sugar, ½ cup of oil and mix. 4 cups of warm water gets 11 teaspoons of yeast and sits for a bit, then goes in the flour mix. then mix it and let it rise for about an hour. the dough should be sticky to the touch and absolutely awful to get out of your metal fingers. while you wait, wander your living area for some poor sucker to rope into helping you, because stage 2 is easier with help. or you can sit down and wonder why you talk yourself into doing things like this. consider your choices. it’s already too late to go back to sleep; youve got dough rising.

get a deep fry pan or sauce pan and fill with about two inches of water. bring it to a rolling boil on the stove and add in three or so tablespoons of baking soda. you really can’t do too much of that, as long as the water’s not getting super cloudy. preheat the oven to 400 degrees. wake steve up and tell him he has to help. 

get a couple egg yolks in a bowl with a basting brush, and find some kosher salt or sea salt. grease up a few pans. 

flour a surface and roll the dough out until it’s between ½ and ¼ in thick. get your poor unsuspecting minion to cut out bite sized bits. i use an inch and a half circle cookie cutter, but you can use whatever you want, really. tony used a laser cutter last time i let him help, which was…not ideal.

drop the cut outs into the boiling soda water, and let them sit for a few seconds, then fish them out. you can use your robot hand for that, but again, you’ll be getting dough out of it for days. i let them drip dry on a cookie drying sheet, but you could also drop them on a clean dishtowel i guess. you just dont want them to be wet when you put them on the cookie sheet. 

they’re not gonna expand a ton, so just stuff em up close to each other on the sheet. paint the tops with egg yolks and sprinkle with salt. pop em in the oven for 10-15 min or until golden brown. 

repeat the boiling-and-baking until you want to die, then keep going until you run out of dough. while the last batch is baking, take a half a stick of butter, a quarter cup of flour and make a roux in a saucepan. add two cups of milk and two cups of cheddar cheese, some salt and pepper to taste, and a quarter cup of mustard, give or take. im showing you how much to use with my hands but you cant see it. sorry, i dont really measure stuff most of the time. heat and stir till it’s melty and amazing, and dip pretzels on in there. 

by the time you have completed this process and eaten as many pretzel bites as you want–and there will be enough. it’s a dang big recipe–you will want to enter a food coma and sleep forever. or for 70 years or so.

there. insomnia fixed.

Pirates of the Caribbean Chicken Pot Pie


Yields one 10 inch pot pie

The things you’ll need

Ingredients
  • 2 ½ cups all purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • ½ cups salted butter, ice cold
  • ½ cup butter flavor shortening, cubed & ice cold
  • 6 tablespoons buttermilk, ice cold
Filling
  • 2 to 3 chicken breats, boneless & skinless
  • 4 ounces butter
  • 4 ounces all purpose flour
  • 1 cup chicken stock
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1 cup chopped carrots
  • 1 cup chopped onions
  • 1 cup chopped celery
  • ½ cup frozen peas
  • 1 cup corn
  • 1 teaspoon salt
Equipment
  • Large pot
  • Food processor with blade attachment
  • Medium bowl
  • Whisk
  • Measuring cup
  • Wooden spoon
  • Plastic wrap
  • Rolling pin
  • Cookie cutters
  • Cutting board and knife
  • 10 inch ceramic pie dish

Let’s get started!

Dough
  1. Combine flour, sugar and salt in a food processor
  2. Add cubed butter and shortening and pulse until well combined. Drizzle in ice-cold buttermilk while pulsing.
  3. Form the dough into a disc and wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for 2 to 24 hours.
Filling
  1. Preheat oven to 375°F.
  2. Chop carrots, onions and celery and set aside.
  3. Cut chicken breasts into cubes.
  4. Heat oil in a large pot on medium heat. Cook the chicken for 3 to 4 minutes, until it is white all over.
  5. Add carrots, onions and celery and cook another 3 to 5 minutes. Fold in the corn and peas and then remove the mixture from heat.
  6. In a small saucepot, melt butter over medium heat. Pour in flour and stir until a thick sauce forms.
  7. Whisk in chicken stock and milk and cook until boiling.
  8. Pour the sauce over the cooked chicken and veggies and then scoop the filling into a pie dish.
  9. Roll out the dough to be a couple inches larger than the pie dish and then place on top of the pie. Press around the edges to remove excess dough.

Time to decorate!

  1. Roll out the excess dough and use cookie cutters to cut out the shapes of a skull.
  2. Use a bone cookie cutter to cut out bone shapes and then cut one end off of each bone. Use the longer bone to make crossbones around the skull.
  3. Brush egg wash roughly in the shape of the skull and crossbones on top of the pie.
  4. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.
  5. TaDa! You’ll strike gold with this Pirate Pot Pie when it feeds all your hungry maties!

Skyrim jazbay crostata

Jazbay grapes are found on rocky terrain or near hot springs throughout Skyrim. Their rich flavour is so prized that in olden times, permission was required from the Emperor to pick them. While they are no longer banned to the common folk, gathering jazbay is tiresome as they are still rare. If you manage to get your hands on some though, this delicious crostata is perfect for regenerating your magicka (and it tastes amazing too)!

You will need:
Pastry
250g flour
124g butter, very cold and diced
25g caster sugar
2 large egg yolks
3 tbsp milk
Pinch of salt

Filling
3 cups red seedless grapes
½ cup mascarpone cheese
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp heavy cream
1 tsp lemon juice
1 egg yolk
Butter, for brushing

Method:
For the pastry, place the flour, butter, salt, and sugar into a food processor and blend until the consistency of breadcrumbs has been reached. Add the egg yolks and milk, then blend again until the dough forms.

Turn the dough onto a floured surface and knead briefly, then wrap in cling film and chill for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat your oven to 205C/400F. Roll out your pastry dough into a centimetre-thick circle with a slight well in the centre (think of a pizza) and set aside on a greased baking tray. Don’t worry if it’s not perfect!

Combine the mascarpone, lemon juice, vanilla, cream, egg yolk, and sugar. Whip until fluffy and spoon into the well of the pastry. Brush the exposed pastry generously with butter.

Top evenly with grapes and bake for 45-50 minutes. If the pastry browns too quickly, cover your crostata with tin foil for the remaining time.