I like to imagine that any time any of them make ridiculously high rolls with ridiculously high modifiers, Matt has a sit and a think about how overpowered he’s allowed these characters to get in some aspects.
He takes a sip of whiskey every Thursday night when he gets home and stares in the corner and whispers “maybe they are gods”
And then Marisha cackles in her sleep, dreaming of diving off cliffs in glee.
Don't ever leave the table in the middle of an argument...
I’m DMing Pathfinder for a group of six players (around level 7) whose characters don’t really see eye-to-eye. They had just taken down a boss with a sleep arrow and were discussing whether they should kill him or let him live.
LG Monk (IC): I say we let him live. Killing him only makes us as bad as him. And anyway we need to question him.
Rogue (IC): But if we let him live nothing will change.
Oracle (IC): I agree.
LG Monk (IC): No. No I won’t let you. We’ll question him and take him to the guards.
OOC the guy who plays the monk goes to the bathroom.
While he is gone:
Rogue (OOC): Can I stealth and then make a Coup de Grace attempt on him without (LG Monk) seeing?
DM (Me): Oh my God, OK, give it a shot.
*Rogue proceeds to roll an insane Stealth check (somewhere in the 30s) and roll huge damage on the attack.*
DM (Me): *laughing* OK, Jesus, yeah. You fire an arrow straight into the unconscious man’s skull. He is well and truly dead.
The monk’s player returns to the table.
DM (Me): Hey, can I get you to make a perception check real quick.
LG Monk (OOC): (Assuming he’d just missed something) Yeah sure, that’s a uhhh… 16?
DM (Me): Yeah ok, never mind.
LG Monk (OOC): Right, I pick the man up and put him on my shoulder. We can take him somewhere safe to question him.
At this point the rest of the party is trying really hard to keep from laughing. The monk is getting suspicious.
LG Monk (OOC): Actually I’ll try to wake him up here. I give his face a slap.
DM (Me): As you go to slap his face you see the shaft of an arrow protruding from his skull, his face is covered in blood.
LG Monk (OOC): WHAT! (Looks at the people giggling around the table) I SENSE MOTIVE THE PARTY!!!
Everyone rolls terrible Bluff checks.
DM (Me): The rest of the party bursts into uncontrollable laughter.
LG Monk (OOC): GUYS! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?!?!
OOC everyone actually bursts into uncontrollable laughter.
The next session that player swapped characters. He said playing someone Lawful Good wasn’t a good fit for the party. He was definitely right.
Beggin' For Thread (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Request! ❤
A/N: To the lovely anon that requested this brilliant idea!! I loved writing this because boxers in general are super comfy and look hell sexy, too. Especially on Bucky Barnes! :D Hope you guys like it!! ENJOY! - Delilah ❤
Beggin’ For Thread: Reader steals some of Bucky’s boxers during laundry day. But when he goes to her for comfort from a thunderstorm he gets a surprise.
I was a half orc monk in the Ways of the Wicked pathfinder game run by a friend who was a two years above me in college. After avoiding it for about a year, the group finally decides to assault the fort we were sent to take down. I had failed a disguise check (we were given rings that allowed disguise self to be used at will) to look like a guard captain in front of another captain, and ended up alone on a rooftop with him. He would turn out to be the boss of the fort, complete with magic sword and plate armor.
DM: The captain pulls his sword on you and asks who you are. What do you do?
Me: I want to disarm him with my mouth.
DM: … Ok, Roll CMB
DM: Ok, you rip the sword out of his hands with your mouth and toss it off the building. What now?
Me: How far is it to the walls around the fort?
DM: *checks* About 30 feet down and 20 feet away.
Me: Alright, I’m going to disguise myself as Malf (an npc gunslinger that nearly killed me earlier in the campaign) and jump to the nearest wall.
DM: Really? Not going to… Fine, roll acrobatics.
ME: *rolls 19* That’s 30 total.
DM: HOW!? You need a running start to…
ME: +11 acrobatics and monks have high jump at this level. I always count as having a running start.
DM: DAMN MONKS AND THEIR CRAZY ACROBATICS! Fine, you effortlessly jump across the gap and do a sick roll to land. Roll 3d6 for damage.
I roll over
I close my eyes
And beg sleep to take me
I am so tired
Day after day
The bags under my eyes are proof
So I give in and get up
Exhaustion weighing me down
As I pull myself through another day