roll 10

experiment goal: to determine whether smarties are an effective tea sweetener

hypothesis: smarties will sweeten the tea, but also introduce unwelcome flavor profiles due to their flavoring

procedure: procured one cup (≈12 fl oz) of Barry’s Tea Gold Blend black tea, hot. added 2/3 of a single roll of smarties candy (10 candies). wait for candies to dissolve, then stir well. tea will be sampled after stirring concludes.

So last night, myself and another girl were asked to leave a D&D game, before it even started, because the DM (another woman) didn’t like how we looked. Both of us were made up, hair done, cute outfits, with a lot of pink D&D accessories. She assumed we were very “feminine” so that we could flirt with all the guy players, and try to get advantages, or distract them. We were told we had to change into “normal” clothes (t-shirts or sweatshirts), and “uncake our faces”. We both left but became really good friends really quickly afterward.

I talked about this in a few select social media places after it happened, and something unexpected started when I woke up this morning. A lot of women had contacted me with stories of similar things, from both male and female DMs. It’s now 1:30PM here, and I’ve talked to 29 women, all with their own experiences that all fell under this particular umbrella.

Their experiences included:

- Being talked to like they’re a bimbo by everyone at the table.
- Having one or more guys at a table want to “help them” play, despite having even more game experience than they did.
- Being blatantly ignored by other female players.
- Having their character hit on endlessly by most of a table.
- Being hit on themselves, despite saying “no thank you” or showing obvious disinterest.
- Being touched a lot, either on the arm, shoulder, back, or in more inappropriate places by male gamers.
- Being told they’re “trying too hard to be a woman”, included trans women being told this by other women.
- Having the DM solely target their character in battles and with traps, after turning the DM down for a date or affection, and not stopping until the character is dead.
- Having it insisted upon them that they have to change their “girly” dice, bags, binders, clothing, etc to “fit in”.
- Being told they aren’t a “real nerd”, “real gamer”, “real geek”, “real fan” because they don’t fit the “look” — this is the most common one I heard.
- Being told by a table full of guys that their below-10 roll was in fact “rolling like a girl”.
- And of course, the “gold digger” argument. That a woman who glams herself up before a game is clearly only hunting for the nerdy guy who also makes a lot of money, and who is pretending to like these things to get at his bank account. 12 separate women told me this one, each of them were kicked out of their games with this being the explanation. None of them dated or flirted with anyone at the table at any point.

The common theme here was that all of these were public play games, either at gaming stores, or at conventions. You have to sit at a table with people you don’t know, and one would expect at least common human decency here, but instead this sort of thing happens. It’s not okay for people to be treated this way by anyone, for any reason, and I was mortified by the sheer amount of women coming forward to share in such a short period of time.

So I worked away at this picture, as I express myself in really dumb fashion sketches. 

It’s the club jacket for our Glam Girl Gamer Gang. 

Girls of all types, from all backgrounds, all sizes, all places in life deserve to be respected as a fellow player. THIS INCLUDES ALL GIRLS WHO LIKE “STEREOTYPICALLY FEMININE” THINGS.

IT IS FUCKING 2017 WHY IS THIS STILL AN ISSUE YOU DINGBATS

2

Hey, guys! I’ve noticed that there are a lot of artists who struggle with “same face syndrome,” or the tendency to draw all their characters with the same face. To help you combat this, I’ve created two different challenges!

The first (pink) one is mainly geared towards artists who are struggling with same face syndrome and want to start branching out. It covers topics that a lot of artists struggle with when drawing faces, such as age, weight, and face shapes. It’s not super specific, so you still have some wiggle room.

The second (yellow) one is a bit harder and is mainly geared towards artists who want to really challenge themselves to diversify their faces. Personally, I think this one’s the most fun to work with despite it being more difficult. Chances are with this one, you’re not going to be drawing a whole bunch of beautiful people. You don’t have to roll for every option on this one either.  A certain combination of rolls from 10/13 of the options may give you a great character idea, and that’s great!

I hope you guys enjoy these! I’d love for you to send me your drawings if you do one (or both) of them.

This needed to be done. Podcasts: first impression vs what they actually are like
  • Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you: Wolf 359, Our Fair City, Within The Wires, The Bunker, The Bright Sessions, Ars Paradoxica
  • Looks like they could kill you, actually a cinnamon roll: Welcome to Night Vale, Marscorp, Wooden Overcoats
  • Looks like a cinnamon roll, actually a cinnamon roll: Eos 10, The Orbiting Human Circus, Cabin Pressure, Inkwyrm
  • Looks like they could kill you, actually could kill you: Alice Isn't Dead, Kakos Industries, The Bridge, Rover Red, The Penumbra Podcast
Dragging an NPC around

Context: So our party almost killed a satyr’s pet dire wolf, who is also about to kill our paladin. I’m a charismatic rogue and I convince the satyr to let us pass the bridge he’s guarding and then we’ll heal the wolf.

Satyr: Fine. Now that you healed my dire wolf, just get out of my sight.

Me: I persuade him to guide us to the nearest town!

DM: ..He hates you guys but uh…okay…roll for it.

*rolled a 25*
——
DM: The satyr leads you out of the forest where you can see a nearby town in the distance.

Satyr: There. Just keep going down the road and you’ll get to the town.

Me: Not so fast, friend! Let’s all go into town together!

DM: Omg this guy hates you even more so roll for persuasion check.

*rolled a 27*
——
DM: The satyr refuses to come in the tavern.

Satyr: No thanks, I don’t drink. And I think it’s time I go now…

Me: Naaaah it’s fine. Let’s go. I persuade him to come drink with us.

*rolls a 10*
DM: He refuses and–

Me: I USE MY STRENGTH AND YANK HIM INSIDE THE TAVERN

*rolls a 20*

DM: FFS JUST LET THIS GUY GO.

A Guide to Dream Daddy, by someone who has never played it

Mat Sella: He’s adorkable and runs a coffee shop 7/10 

Damien Bloodmarch: Good! Pure! Needs Protection! 9/10

Hugo Vega: “See you in class, bitch.” +1 points for being voiced by Ray Narvaez 8/10

Brian Harding: He’s probably nice but I always feel insecure around him 5/10

Craig Cahn: Tumblr doesn’t talk about him that much but he has an adorable baby so 7/10

Robert Small: Looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll 10/10

Joseph Christiansen: Looks like a cinnamon roll but is actually an unholy demon that needs to be purged from this earth -8/10

EDIT 7/30: I just found out that Robert likes pineapple on pizza so that fucker’s at 0/10 now I’m sorry I don’t make the rules

“If you feel like life is raining down on you over and over and over again, I need you to know that that does not make you tarnished. Walking through a bunch of rainstorms and continuing to go on with your life, that makes you the opposite of damaged or tarnished, that makes you stronger, wiser, smarter, and ultimately, I think it makes you clean.”

Seven Hells

m/f (or m/m) couples game • ballbusting

You will need:

- 1 or 2 six-sided dice
- paddle or something similar (water bottle, back of hairbrush, etc)
- bondage rope (optional)
- timer (optional)

Setup:

- agree to a safeword
- male partner is restrained to bed (optional), female partner in position of her choosing
- use 1 six-sided dice for regular play, 2 six-sided dice for intense play

How to play:

- The female partner rolls the dice each round for seven rounds. Every time the dice is rolled, an action is performed based on the result.

- If the male partner can survive all seven consecutive rounds without giving in or using his safeword, he is permitted to fuck her/cum. Failure to complete all seven rounds means only she is given pleasure.

Rounds and their actions:

Roll #1: Slap

Male partner receives a number of slaps to the balls equal to the dice roll.

Roll #2: Punch

Male partner receives a number of punches to the balls equal to the dice roll.

Roll #3: Squeeze

With thumb and forefinger on each testicle, male partner’s balls are squeezed for a duration equal to 10 seconds multiplied by the dice roll.
(for example, 1 = 10 seconds, 2 = 20 seconds, 3 = 30 seconds, etc.)

Roll #4: Respite

Male partner’s balls are massaged and dick sucked for a duration equal to 10 seconds multiplied by the dice roll.
(for example, 1 = 10 seconds, 2 = 20 seconds, 3 = 30 seconds, etc.)

Roll #5: Squeeze

Same as Roll #3.

Roll #6: Punch

Same as Roll #2.

Roll #7: Paddle

Male partner receives a number of paddles to the balls equal to the dice roll. If no paddle, use kicks or knees.

Have fun!

Each house as: Shakespearean characters - Hamlet
  • Gryffindor: Laertes - brAVE, strONG, revenGEFUL
  • Hufflepuff: Horatio - precious cinnamon roll 10/10 perfect friend ship it don't drink the cup please
  • Ravenclaw: Ophelia - honestly... just... leave her be...
  • Slytherin: Hamlet - spiteful murderous emo teen yet everyone loves him smh
With barbarians anything's a door

“Context I was playing a barbarian in a solo campaign and had just made it to a silver dragons lair and wanted to make a dramatic intrance.”

Me: “I'ma gonna knock”

Me (ooc): “I try to kick the doors open”

DM: “ok roll strength”

*fails roll*

DM: “doors don’t budge”

Me: (ooc): “I try again”

DM: “ok it’s still strength ”

Me (ooc) : “nat 20”

DM: “ok the doors make a loud cracking noise the slightly open a bit a get stuck you can try to squeeze through opening if you want.”

Me (ooc): “WHAT? HOW? WHY? BUT NAT 20!!!”

DM: “it’s a set of pull doors”

Me: “screw this”

Me (ooc): “I’ll just go through the wall”

DM: “ok roll strength ”

Me (ooc):“ fine” *rolls a 29*

DM: “ok you easily fine a weak spot in the wall back up a little the run straight through there is now a you shaped hole next to the door.”

Me (ooc): “good now cam I see the dragon from here?”

DM: “roll perception ”

Me: “ok” *rolls a 10*

DM: “that’s enough you see the dragon sleeping in front of you.”

Me (ooc): “really after all that?!!”

DM: “yep it’s a heavy sleeper.”

Random Loot Table

I consistently have players looting conquered foes, random strangers, ruined villages, etc.. And the truth is I almost NEVER know what they’re going to find. Usually I just spout some nonsense at the top of my head and it often ends up being dull, leaving my players less likely to look for items while adventuring in the future. I created this table to help give me a guideline for random loot, and it lets players feel lucky when they roll high and find something unexpected.

(Click Keep Reading below the image for more specific information and a text version of the chart at the bottom)

Keep reading

We’re a group of level 2s going into a cave to fight a dragon, who turns out to be a red wyrmling. I’m a High Elf Gunslinger and we also have a Goliath Barbarian, a Fire Genasi Mystic, and an Aarakocra Wizard. We roll for initiative, and the four of us all get to go before the wyrmling does. (I’ve condensed down our calculations and process of rolling.)

Gunslinger: I put my Sniper’s Mark on him, so I have advantage on my roll to hit. I fire at him with my rifle, and I use Sharpshooter, so I do +10 damage if I hit. (successfully hits, rolls damage) 1d10, plus 10, plus my Dex bonus… 25 damage!

Barbarian: My character has a bad history with dragons, so he just takes a shot with his bow… (hits) 7 damage.

Mystic: I use Animate Weapon on my spear, and I’m going to use 3 psi points on it. (hits) 1d6 for the spear, plus my spell attack bonus, plus 1d10 per psi point… 32 damage!

Wizard: I’m going to cast Witch Bolt, at second level. (rolls nat 20) Yes! That’s a crit, because it was second level, I roll 2d12, and I roll them twice because it’s a crit… 27 damage! And since it’s its turn next, I get to roll again for more damage since I’m still connected…

DM: (exasperated) Dude, it’s dead.

Pause before the players all erupt into laughter.