roleplaying adventures!

Historically, there are four major groups that have commonly been described as “adventurers”:

a. Pirates and bandits who realised that the real money lay in getting people to pay them to go pillage someone else;

b. Members of the idle rich who wandered about robbing tombs and subjugating the locals for fun rather than for profit, often distinguishable from the first group only by the presence of a “Sir” before their names;

c. People who just wanted to look at birds, but it sort of got out of hand; and

d. Lesbians.

Now, I’m not saying that this taxonomy would make a reasonable basis for a class system in a tabletop roleplaying game, but I’m not not saying it either.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure starters

- suggested by Anonymous

  • “I’m willing to see our transactions through, are you, [sir]?”
  • “I’m fighting to protect my family from those that wish it harm, I doubt very much that your resolve is equal to mine”
  • “Perhaps… Perhaps the time [he] foretold has come. If this is my destiny, I accept it”
  • “Walking on water when you obviously lack proper training is quite an accomplishment”
  • “You truly are the lowest scum in history”
  • “Good grief, don’t underestimate me just because I’m a kid”
  • “I feel bad, kicking a guy when he’s down, but… Nah, I don´t feel bad about this at all. My friends and a lot of bystanders are dead because of you”
  • “Impossible? We did a lot of impossible things on this journey. I’m tired of hearing that things are impossible or useless. Those words mean nothing to us”
  • “Shoot me if you want to! But you better be prepared to face the consequences”
  • “The last thing I need right now is listening to trash like you, let alone being touched by you”
  • “You’re god damn right! Everything worked out according to the plan… From the very beginning!”
  • “I shall give you a chance. Go down two steps and I’ll let you join my side again. But if you rather die, then climb those stairs”
  • “Are you really trying to shoot me? I like you”
  • “You can’t pay back what you owe with money”
  • “What are you doing!? Unforgivable!”
  • “I..I can’t lay a finger on [him]”
  • “I’m back from hell, [name]!”
  • “Do you remember how many breads you’ve eaten in your life?”
  • “Your upbringing made you a villain, you say? It didn’t! You’ve been evil since your birth!“
  • “I reject my humanity, [name]!”
  • “I’m curious. Why would you do that? What was the purpose behind it?”
  • “You picked the wrong man to mess with, pig!”
  • “What did you say? Depending on your answer, I may have to kick your ass!”
  • “Shut the hell up! You’re so damn annoying, you bitch!”
  • “Well, you’re about to fall down to hell, sobbing the whole way down”
  • “Good grief. I can’ let a kid who likes dogs… get killed!”
  • “W-who the hell are you!? Do you think you’re going to get a away with this?!”
  • “What the hell did you just say about my hair?!”
  • “Nice watch. I’m going to break it so you can never tell time again. Your face, that is”
  • “When I have to repeat something that only needs to be said once… It means that the listener is unintelligent. I’ve told you that I don’t have money, because I’ve already paid. Please, don’t make me repeat myself a third time”
  • “You should have realized it, right? When you try to kill others, you may end up being killed yourself”
  • “You said one can kill if [he] is humiliated? You’re right. It’s important indeed. You’ve insulted the life of the old man who had nothing to do with you at all!”
  • “If you don’t start talking, the torture will keep on escalating! You’ve seen the culprit… did they tell you to stay quiet?”
  • “Only the results! This world only remembers the results!”
  • “You bastard! Are you making fun of me?!”
  • “I’ve always… cherished you”
  • “Didn’t you once say that everything should have a name?”
  • “Trying to use the same move on me twice is a big mistake!”
  • “You’re just as good at coming up with bullshit as I am!”
  • “Dare you defeat me with such lackluster legerity?!”
  • “Just a little bit… one sip couldn’t hurt.”
The Mysterious Tower of Trickery
What you need to know:

A mysteries tower with no origins appears randomly allowing people to venture inside before it disappears again to re-appear somewhere else.

How it begins:

Given the nature of the tower, it can appear at any time anywhere; during the players’ travels while in a town or city, in a large caravan, etc. The choice is yours, the stranger the location the better, adding to the mysterious nature of the tower.


–TOWER–

The tower is made out of smooth black stone and is about 20 meters tall and 5 meters wide. There are no windows and on each wall at the base is a wooden door.

  • -A- The wooden doors are illusion and in fact gelatinous cubes. When a player touches the surface of the door, in reality they are plunging their hands into the cube.
    Note: The gelatinous cubes stats are per the monster manual.
  • -B- Halfway up the tower is a secret door that, when opened, leads inside to part 1.

–ONE–

The door opens into a smooth black stone chamber. A set of oak stairs leads up to a trap door in the ceiling. Two lit torches are on either side of the room held within mounted iron brackets.

  • -A- The wooden stairs are X number of mimics.
  • The mimics will wait till a number of players climb onto of them before they attack.
    Note: The mimic’s stats are as per the monster manual.
  • -B- The trap doors opens to a flat wall of smooth black stone.
  • -C- The torches are levers, and when both are pulled, open a secret door in the wall leading to part 2.

–TWO–

The door opens into a stone hall extending into darkness after 20 meters.
Note: Beyond 20 meters, the hall is shrouded in a continual darkness spell.

  • -A- The floors is an illusion of stone and is actually X number of acid slimes.
    Note: The acid slime stats are as per the monster manual.
  • -B- The end of the hall shrouded in darkness extends only anther 10 meters before it reaches a dead end.
  • In the ceiling, however, is a secret door that when opened leads to part 3.

–THREE–

The door opens into the floor of a stone chamber.

  • -A- If the players close the hatch on the floor and reopen it, it will lead to part 4.
  • To revert the opening back to leading to part 2, the players only need to close the hatch again - a simple, but hopefully clever puzzle your players have to figure out.

–FOUR–

The door opens into the ceiling of a smooth black stone chamber. On the back wall is an iron plate on the wall with a lock. On the opposite wall is a wooden bench containing a bunch of keys.

  • -A- The bench has several keys, each having an effect when used on the lock. Also on the bench, there is an outline of a key drawn in the wood.
  • 1 - an iron knobbed key: forms into a fist, getting one attack against the players using it for X D10 damage.
  • 2 - a skeletal finger key: any player who uses this key is drained a level or D6 CON.
  • 3 - a glass key with yellow liquid flowing inside: the key explodes when used, splattering the user with acid for X D6 acid damage and burning a whole into their armor.
  • 4 - a thorny wooden key: when used, a pit trap dropping X meters to spikes opens up under a random player.
  • 5 - a meter long key: when used, all the players double in size for X rounds, bursting out their clothes and armor. Roll saves for the armor to see if its destroyed.
  • 6 - a glowing red key: when used, the entire room bursts in flame for X rounds dealing X D6 fire damage to everyone inside, each round.
  • 7- a black smoking key: when used the chamber fill with thick un-breathable smoke for X rounds, causing the players to suffer the rules for drowning or suffocation till the smoke clears or they leave the room.
  • -B- The outline of the key, when cut out from the wood, can be used as a key to open the lock and slide open the wall leading to part 5.

–FIVE–

The door opens into a stone chamber with a single one meter long chain (A) dangling from the ceiling.

  • -A- Chain A when pulled collapses the ceiling dealing X D6 crushing damage to any player inside.
  • The ceiling then opens up to another ceiling 10 meters higher with another one meter long chain (B) dangling from the ceiling.
  • -B- Chain B when pulled for the first time causes the floor to slide open revealing a pit of lava underneath 10 meters below.
    Note: The lava can do normal lava damage or X D6 fire damage if your players are lower level.
  • -C- When chain B is pulled for the second time, panels on the wall slide open and release jets of flames that fill the room dealing X D6 fire damage every round – 1 D6 is what I recommend.
  • -D- When chain B is pulled for a third time, 4 panels on the ceiling open and release one meter long electrified chains that are bolted to the ceiling.
    Note: Any player touching one of the electrified chains is dealt 1 D6 lighting damage.
  • -E- Pulling on any one of the chains has no effect other than dealing damage, but if a player pulls on the 4 electrified chains and Chain B at the same time, then the floor slides closed, the panels on the walls close, the electrified chains retract into sliding closed panels and a panel on the wall opens leading to part 6.

–SIX–

The walls open into a small circular smooth black stone room. Chests of gold and silver lay next to weapons, racks and armored manikin. Coffers of jewelry sit onto sacks of potions.

  • -A- This is the tower’s treasure. All the treasure will be real, but cursed in some way.
  • Every coin will be coated in contact poison, dealing stat damage or regular damage.
  • Every weapon and piece of armor will be hot to the touch as if heated metal has been cast on it, dealing 2 D4 damage or X D6 fire damage.
  • The jewelry will bind to the players and give negative penalties to stats, skills, saves, attack rolls, etc. The jewelry will need a remove curse to be removed.
  • All the potions will have the opposite effect of their intention. Healing will be harm, flight will plunge the players into the earth X meters, invisibility will make the players bright, etc.
    Note: To even this effect out, consider giving 2 to 3 times the normal amount of treasure since some of it ma  end up being worthless, tossed or spent to counter-attack the effects.

End:

The tower, as mysteriously as it appears, leaves after its treasure has been plundered, or does it?

Maybe the tower was a test by some planar creature studying mortals for an important assignment and appears to congratulate the players on a job well done before sending them off on its mission.
Maybe the tower itself carries a curse and by entering its walls, the players contract an illness slowly transforming them into an ooze or blob, then needing to satisfy the tower in some way to be cured of it.
Maybe the treasure is the reincarnated spirits of the adventures who died in its walls and come to life in some way once the players leave. The coins jump about trying to escape, weapons and armor can speak and potion feel violated when drank.

Either way, have fun and hope to see you again.

8

((Happy Mother’s Day to the women who do their best to watch out for and protect us, be they biological moms/aunts/grandmothers, stepmoms, surrogate/adoptive moms, older friends who are more of a big sister, etc. 

Feel free to reblog this with your URL if you’re a JJBA mom blog– let’s make a little unofficial mom club!))