“First of all, you need to pick a new name. Then you’ll need a binder and maybe a packer but make sure it’s not too big of one. That’ll give you away. Try wearing button ups but not if they’re flannel. That’ll make you look like a lesbian. Layering shirts helps, too. Buy bulky shoes and boot cut jeans. Maybe shoe lifts because you’re kind of on the short side for a guy. Keep your hair cut longer on top and shorter on the sides. Square off the hair in front of your ears. It’s too feminine to have it be triangular. Shave those little translucent hairs off of your face. Only women and children have them. You can wear a single earring or a leather bracelet but no other jewelry. Nothing rainbow because, again, that’ll make you look like a lesbian. Use only the lower ranges of your voice. You can find vocal training videos on YouTube if that’s not good enough. It’ll also help to speak in more of a monotone and try to mimic other guys’ speech patterns. Study the way they walk, too. Sit with your legs spread or one crossed over your other knee. Either way, take up plenty of space. Bulk up but only certain muscle groups. Don’t talk when you’re in the bathroom. Use less exaggerated facial expressions. Try not to qualify your statements. Cross your arms over your chest, not under it. Don’t skip. Don’t giggle. Don’t cry.
It’s going to feel so good to finally get to be yourself.”
For people struggling to understand what this all means, it just means that Harry’s management company, Full Stop Management, is merging with Irving Azoff’s (a known powerhouse manager in the music industry) company.
Basically, this means that Full Stop just got some real power behind it, in the form of a father aligning with his son.
Larries have been predicting for a LONG ass time that Irving would play a role in a managerial transition for the boys. Right now we have solid confirmation of that for at least Harry. Most of us believe that when One Direction comes back, they will do so under the guidance of Irving and Jeff Azoff.
Covering for @eponymous-rose because she has just moved and has one chair in her apartment, and also her ceiling is apparently making it rain inside. Also, I’m still riding the high of seeing this show live, so let’s get this going!
Tonight’s guests: Liam, Taliesin, and Marisha! Late start; Brian blames Spectrum. I blame Sam.
Regular Critical Role this week; Sam’s oneshot is next week! Tonight’s After Dark will be a rebroadcast of the panel from GenCon.
Everyone is a little stunned at how much they packed into last weekend. Marisha is amazed that they’ve gone from 250 people to 2500 people in the audience, especially considering the number of volunteers and staff they need to run a show like this. Brian is very surprised it had so few hitches in the production.
Marisha helped Brian piece together his outfit (it was Ashley’s shirt and pants from New York that Ashley made him get).
No one knew what Sam would be wearing until fifteen minutes before showtime. He originally used a Chessex dice box, but Liam “didn’t feel it would read in the back row” so he used a larger, hollow box.
A fan offered Brian ten thousand dollars for that box after the show. Yikes.
The art book has been in planning for a year; the first official meeting was at the last ComicCon. Liam’s favorite piece is a group portrait that has not been seen before. Taliesin loves that there are bits of “ephemera” scattered throughout the book.
Neither Liam nor Taliesin anticipated how much work the book would be. No release date yet.
Liam had no plan to make sure the potion went to Sam. He just wanted a lighthearted moment, and hadn’t planned to use it until the Raven Queen’s trammel almost broke the episode before.
Keyleth suspected foul play on the love potion because she knows Vax well enough by now, but wasn’t worried because she likes lighthearted trickster Vax.
Brian was hoping Scanlan would see a mirror first. Taliesin hoped for Keyleth or Grog. Marisha hoped for Vax.
The Gif of the Week is Matt tearing up his notes. It’s still hilarious.
Liam feels like the whole night was a scene from 300, including the chant of Vax’ildan. It was overwhelming in a good way.
Liam thinks some of Sam’s song/speech schtick was prepared before the show, but Taliesin and Marisha think he was adlibbing some of it as he went. Everyone marvels at his ability to improv so quickly.
Taliesin thinks Vex would have taken a finger or two if Scanlan hadn’t backed off.
Marisha thinks Keyleth has come to the acceptance that death is likely, even though she’s hopeful they will survive.
Marisha was slightly concerned that Scanlan would be angry at the prank and leave again.
Liam doesn’t intend the pranks to be as good as they are, he just trusts Sam Riegel. “I just had to hold the football for Riegel and let him kick it.”
If Scanlan had seen Vex first, Percy would have been amused at first and then quickly annoyed. Taliesin also notes that Percy doesn’t know there was a love potion involved and is vain enough to think it was genuine.
There will be a Talks Machina next week even though a lot of people will be at Burning Man; it just “won’t be a traditional Talks.”
Brian was excited to emcee the live show even though he had to stall a few minutes at the beginning because the merch line was so long. He felt like he had a contact high from how many Critters were excited to see him and the crew, the crowd singing All-Star before the show, and everyone just being generally enthusiastic.
The guy who owns the theater said they have had rock concerts that were less exciting; he apparently thought something had happened after the first cheer and came out to check that everything was okay.
Keyleth is okay plummeting to her death these days.
Taliesin, Marisha, and Liam all feel they will be battling Vecna on top of the titan. They don’t think it will stop until he’s defeated.
Liam was certain he was going unconscious when Matt said he didn’t have the dice for the damage. Vax’s HP dipped to the 30s.
Brian sat next to Andrew from CritRoleStats during the show. Hi, Andrew! He does the math in his head for the HP tracking and Brian kept interrupting him by accident.
Percy is very much looking forward to killing Delilah again. “She’s the gift that keeps on giving.” He also says something about keeping her in a dungeon and killing her every week. Marisha: “Geez louise, that’s dark!”
Keyleth thinks it’s better for her to be down a high-level spell slot than for Scanlan to be, since he has so many high level Hail Marys.
Brian marvels again at how intense the crowd was. The pre-show panel helped amp them up as well.
Favorite GenCon moments for everyone! Brian: watching the live show in the audience and going to the Logic show. Brian got to lose at MarioKart on that stage as well. He came in 7th out of 8, and six of the other competitors were bots. Liam loved Bobby pulling Hannah Banana onstage to rap. I’m missing a lot of these references, so apologies if any of this is misspelled! The guy behind Brian’s empty seat apparently cheered very hard for him, even though he lost. Brian also loved Travis’s face when they walked out onto the football field on Sunday. Taliesin loved photobombing Critters.
During the standing ovation, Marisha felt “pure, distilled, emotional ecstasy.” Liam was very humbled by the love for something they created around Marisha’s dining room table. Taliesin can’t find words for it. Brian felt like it was a wall of love.
Right before he came out to do the initial announcements, Brian gave Matt a hug and unexpectedly started crying, so he had to compose himself before starting the show. At the end of the show, he looked over and saw Matt had tears in his eyes as well.
Liam loves that events from the game feel like real memories, and that what they do matters so much to so many people.
After Dark: aka That Pre-Show Panel From the Con
Everyone is nervous about the show except Travis, who’s stoked. Everyone had a strategy session beforehand, except the rules of the game kept getting in the way. Matt: “Antimagic field does not work against spells cast by deities, sorry!”
Marisha and Laura love the game because of the roleplaying elements. Marisha notes there’s still a problem with D&D being perceived as a boy’s game. Liam runs a game for five small girls who love it because it’s not treated as a game for girls; “get ‘em while they’re as young as possible.”
Any two NPCs in a cage match: Marisha picks Kevdak and Groon. Laura picks Trish the Dish and Kima. Matt: “Now we’re just me at home playing with my action figures, and I’m okay with that.”
Marisha notes that Critical Role builds every week, which is different than the pre-produced final product from Dread. She loves Dread’s team-building aspect for the puzzles and atmosphere. Matt: “It felt weirdly magical.”
Taliesin and Marisha are very proud of Dread; there will be more to come.
An audience member asks about favorite one-liners: “Your secret is safe with my indifference.” “Life needs things to live.” “Where’s Larkin?”
They talk about how weird it is to have their game so big. They’re constantly amazed by the fan productions of love.
Matt works hard on the balance between grandiose successes, failures, and heroism, and the importance of grounding the adventure in realism. Liam loves that it runs the gamut from an argument over a pair of shoes to a beloved city crumbling around them.
Matt never imagined this world he made up would end up in a campaign guide. It was originally a generic fantasy land for his friends to play in, but the more life he put into it the more life his players put into it, and it was very daunting to try to capture all that collaboration into a book for other people to play in. He talks a bit about Joey, his co-writer, who helped him with the overwhelming load of work and created some ideas of his own.
If Laura could reroll one roll from the whole campaign, she describes a moment pre-show where she was trying to slide on her knees through a troll’s legs to shoot up, except she rolled a 1 and the troll stepped on her stomach. Travis would reroll the skull spike. “I wanted that one bad.” Taliesin feels bad rolls are character-building. Matt mentions the roll in the Sunken Tomb, and apparently Laura has never realized how much hinged on that one roll before this moment. Matt thinks of the roll Raishan failed against the Feeblemind. “Thanks, Keyleth!”
Travis prevented Laura from taking a gift earlier, but totally accepts a gift beer from an audience member. The same person brings up how good D&D is for blind and low-vision players since it’s theater of the mind, and as my residency was in low-vision rehabilitation, this means a lot to me. Matt also brings up Critical Role Transcripts as another great method of accessibility. They have over 60% of the whole show completely transcribed, which is over $50,000 in transcribing time. You can sign up to volunteer for five-minute slots at CRTranscript on Twitter.
Matt talks about the importance of writing down details for NPCs you create on the fly and fleshing them out after the campaign if you think they might recur, because the players will remember every time if you don’t.
Senokir was made up on the spot. Serious Alpha technical issues, so I’m sorry if I miss some stuff here.
Matt does not believe in punishing players for being clever. He would rather throw away material and reuse it later.
Sam is proud of the Washington Football Team inspiration and the library sequence with Laura. He liked the pressure of coming up with so many songs on the spot.
Grog would take the Deck over the Alchemy Jug without a thought.
Travis will always choose character-based leveling for Grog over meta-gaming every time, especially if it makes Grog dumber. Sam looked up good spells for bards and the mansion was not one of them, but he took it because he loved the idea and hasn’t regretted it. Laura feels the same way about keeping Trinket through the Pathfinder transition. Taliesin never took Luck for the same reason; he feels the potential of the gun backfiring is the price he should pay. “I don’t want to undo my weaknesses.”
Liam’s choice of Fated is why Matt started thinking about him being fate-touched.
More serious technical issues, sorry. Matt talks about the fact that all DMs will make mistakes and that it’s important to find creative solutions within the bounds of the world you’ve made.
If Vex could reincarnate as anything, she’d pick “angel babyyyy!” Marisha would like to see Keyleth as a half-orc.
Laura is very disappointed Matt didn’t haggle the last time they went to the flea market together.
a message to all the young “non-dysphoric trans kids”: do what the fuck you wanna do!! try out different pronouns, change your name, dress however you want!!! what the fuck ever!! you’re normalizing trans-ness and it’s benefitting the trans community!! keep experimenting with gender because it’s hecking cool!!
a message to all the young “cissexist dysphoric trans kids”: you’re not promoting gender roles by wanting to transition or by being dysphoric!! its not your fault that you were born in a body that didn’t match how you felt and you’re going to get where you want someday!!
a message to everyone running around tumblr shaming kids for expressing themselves and trying to police trans people: yeah um thanks but we don’t need that and you can pack your hate and intolerance right the fuck up and just not!
Hearing about gender non-conforming children who are pressured by parents, teachers, and therapists to transition is so saddening to me. Some people in my class are talking about a kindergartener who has transitioned–changed her name and began to undergo gender therapy–and I am just shocked.
How could you look at a young girl who enjoys “stereotypically masculine” things and activities, and tell them “oh, well you must not be a girl then.” All that is doing is telling girls that there is only one right way to be female, and that “right way” is to be feminine.
I can understand adults with severe dsyphoria transitioning. Adults who are mature and able to make their own decisions about their bodies. But children? I can’t help but feel as though “transitioning” a child is actively harmful to the development of their personal identity, as well as their ideas about what it means to be a man or a woman.
There is nothing wrong with being a girl who isn’t feminine. And there is nothing wrong with being a boy who isn’t masculine. By telling kids who don’t conform to gender roles that they must just “be trans,” you are enforcing stereotypical gender roles onto young children. And that is wrong. That will never not be wrong.
During the first half, we get the immediate aftermath. Vax’s story ends however it will end. Vasselheim and its combined forces congratulate them, including Kash and Zahra. Keyleth steps up to speak for all of them. They wake up the next morning and Pike and Keyleth both use True Resurrection to bring back Velora and the boy who died long ago, from Keyleth’s actions.
The party heads to Emon, where they find Gilmore and reunite with Kaylie and Cassandra.
The break happens. During the break, we get a voiceover epilogue video to describe the end of Vox Machina, a video much like the origins video they made to describe their pre stream adventures. This is probably what Ashley referred to writing on Talks Machina.
After the break?
We open in a tavern, as is appropriate for Dungeons and Dragons, and a bard who may or may not be Scanlan in disguise tells the story of Vox Machina, how the heroes of Tal'Dorei saved the world 20 years prior.
And sitting in one corner of the room, listening? The new party of fledgling heroes, the second generation of adventurers on Critical Role, waiting to meet with someone about a job. They will banter, they will receive the details of the job, and they will leave.
the trio of Virgo-Libra-Scorpio is so interesting to me symbolically like i really feel that they present a very crucial stage within the zodiac wheel
where Virgo represents the maiden, the young person on the cusp of greatness, serving others and striving for perfection/completion of their world, of their individual self.
Libra then represents the liminal state, the person not on the cusp anymore but past it, reaching a fuller state of awareness and empathy and yet remaining detached because they cannot choose. they have to balance the two, and in so doing, prevent themselves from being fully present in either
and then Scorpio, who, having passed libra’s balancing act between the physical and the ethereal, descends fully into the deep/dark realm of the psyche; the place where things like death, and sex, power and intimacy, can be conceived of in fuller levels and appreciated for what they are.
i realize this sounds weird and i’m not trying to shade Virgos or Libras but im just saying each sign has their own symbolic role and their own place, none of which is more or less important than any other signs! i just appreciate the transitional role of these three signs specifically because Virgo is the last sign who’s presence is in the here and now, the last sign who’s role is on a personal and individual level. Libra is the sign that balances between the two halves of the zodiac, and the one who straddles both sides but remains above choosing, and Scorpio, who represents the choosing of knowledge and depth and begins to see a bigger picture, and so it moves on to the worldly signs of Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, and then it returns to Aries, the individual
Gerda Wegener, detail, On the banks of the Loire (Beaugency artists colony), Paris, 1926.
“In Gerda Wegener’s On the banks of the Loire, 1926, we see innumerable Bohemians from the artists’ colony on a summer’s day in swimsuits far from the city of Paris…
For female artists just a generation before Gerda Wegener’s it was not possible at all for a woman to move around freely in the spaces of the city without being accosted and misunderstood. The definition of the Impressionists as ‘the painters of modern life’, for example, is therefor problematic in the case of an artist like Berthe Morisot. Gerda Wegener on the other hand romped freely through city life, whether this was well received or not. At any rate it became normal – not least during the First World War, when the french men were at the front, and the women had to take over many of the men’s former tasks. The women grew stronger… After World War One, Europe was traumatised, and the survivors lived wilder lives than before – quite simply so they could feel alive. The 1920 were thus typified by festivities and amusements and by gender roles in transition. Everything was permitted, much more so than before.”
Andrea Rygg Karberg. “When a woman paints women,” in Gerda Wegener (exhibition catalogue). Arken, 2015, p. 28.
The United Arab Emirates arranged a secret meeting in January between Blackwater founder Erik Prince and a Russian close to President Vladimir Putin as part of an apparent effort to establish a back-channel line of communication between Moscow and President-elect Donald Trump, according to U.S., European and Arab officials.
The meeting took place around Jan. 11 — nine days before Trump’s inauguration — in the Seychelles islands in the Indian Ocean, officials said. Though the full agenda remains unclear, the UAE agreed to broker the meeting in part to explore whether Russia could be persuaded to curtail its relationship with Iran, including in Syria, a Trump administration objective that would be likely to require major concessions to Moscow on U.S. sanctions.
Though Prince had no formal role with the Trump campaign or transition team, he presented himself as an unofficial envoy for Trump to high-ranking Emiratis involved in setting up his meeting with the Putin confidant, according to the officials, who did not identify the Russian.
Prince was an avid supporter of Trump. After the Republican convention, he contributed $250,000 to Trump’s campaign, the national party and a pro-Trump super PAC led by GOP mega-donor Rebekah Mercer, records show. He has ties to people in Trump’s circle, including Stephen K. Bannon, now serving as the president’s chief strategist and senior counselor. Prince’s sister Betsy DeVos serves as education secretary in the Trump administration. And Prince was seen in the Trump transition offices in New York in December.
U.S. officials said the FBI has been scrutinizing the Seychelles meeting as part of a broader probe of Russian interference in the 2016 U.S. election and alleged contacts between associates of Putin and Trump. The FBI declined to comment.
The Seychelles encounter, which one official said spanned two days, adds to an expanding web of connections between Russia and Americans with ties to Trump — contacts that the White House has been reluctant to acknowledge or explain until they have been exposed by news organizations.
“We are not aware of any meetings, and Erik Prince had no role in the transition,” said Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary.
A Prince spokesman said in a statement: “Erik had no role on the transition team. This is a complete fabrication. The meeting had nothing to do with President Trump. Why is the so-called under-resourced intelligence community messing around with surveillance of American citizens when they should be hunting terrorists?”
Prince is best known as the founder of Blackwater, a security firm that became a symbol of U.S. abuses in Iraq after a series of incidents, including one in 2007 in which the company’s guards were accused — and later criminally convicted — of killing civilians in a crowded Iraqi square. Prince sold the firm, which was subsequently re-branded, but has continued building a private paramilitary empire with contracts across the Middle East and Asia. He now heads a Hong Kong-based company known as the Frontier Services Group.
Prince would probably have been seen as too controversial to serve in any official capacity in the Trump transition or administration. But his ties to Trump advisers, experience with clandestine work and relationship with the royal leaders of the Emirates — where he moved in 2010 amid mounting legal problems for his American business — would have positioned him as an ideal go-between.
The Seychelles meeting came after separate private discussions in New York involving high-ranking representatives of Trump with both Moscow and the Emirates.
The White House has acknowledged that Michael T. Flynn, Trump’s original national security adviser, and Trump adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner met with the Russian ambassador to the United States, Sergey Kislyak, in late November or early December in New York.
Flynn and Kushner were joined by Bannon for a separate meeting with the crown prince of Abu Dhabi, Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed al-Nahyan, who made an undisclosed visit to New York later in December, according to the U.S., European and Arab officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive matters.
In an unusual breach of protocol, the UAE did not notify the Obama administration in advance of the visit, though officials found out because Zayed’s name appeared on a flight manifest.
Officials said Zayed and his brother, the UAE’s national security adviser, coordinated the Seychelles meeting with Russian government officials with the goal of establishing an unofficial back channel between Trump and Putin.
Officials said Zayed wanted to be helpful to both leaders, who had talked about working more closely together, a policy objective long advocated by the crown prince. The UAE, which sees Iran as one of its main enemies, also shared the Trump team’s interest in finding ways to drive a wedge between Moscow and Tehran.
Zayed met twice with Putin in 2016, according to Western officials, and urged the Russian leader to work more closely with the Emirates and Saudi Arabia — an effort to isolate Iran.
At the time of the Seychelles meeting and for weeks afterward, the UAE believed that Prince had the blessing of the new administration to act as its unofficial representative. The Russian participant was a person whom Zayed knew was close to Putin from his interactions with both men, the officials said.
Growing up I identified with the other little boys a lot,
and with the other girls almost not at all. I identified with the rough and
tumble lifestyle of the boys, and with their carefree adventuring. The girls in
the neighborhood would tag along with the boys at times, but it was always
tagging along. The girls were never the Captain. When the boys played street
hockey, the girls came too, but they sat on the sidelines and cheered and
talked. I played, of course, until I was about 9 years old and despite the
extra pads and helmet my dad made me wear, he decided that it was too rough and
that I couldn’t play with the boys any more. He was right, of course, the boys
*were* rough, but so was I! I identified with the boys.
When I watched TV and saw a married couple, I always
identified with the husband. I knew that when I eventually married that I
wanted to be the one providing for the family, doling out wisdom and
discipline, and being left alone to pursue my own intellectual interests
whenever I wasn’t doing one of those things. That’s what I saw. I certainly
didn’t identify with the idea of rearing the children and devoting my life to
child, family, and house care. I wanted to be an independent person inside of a
family support system. I saw that in the husband’s position in the family. I
identified with the husband.
When I was a teenager and the young men around me were
obsessed with music, body modification, and girls, I identified with them. I
knew other young dykes, but the ones that I knew seemed more obsessed with being
queer* than anything else, and I couldn’t relate. I identified with the
simplicity of being an adolescent male, in part because really nothing was
expected of them. I spent high school playing hardcore shows and avoiding other
lesbians. At 15 my then-girlfriend starting calling me her boyfriend and I
bound for the first time. My male friends treated me like “one of the guys,”
which is to say, as a completely distinct phenomenon from the other females. My
feelings of being different, of being “not like the other girls,” were
reinforced with every turn. I was able to “opt-out” of the gross
objectification of my female peers, largely through this understanding of my
identification. I identified with my young male friends.
As a young adult, my identification with became my
identification as. The lines had blurred, and I no longer saw the distinction –
if I had seen it at all up to that point. I became one of the young men,
instead of the one female allowed in our boys’ club. I was accepted with open
arms, and my identity was affirmed from all directions in my social circle.
It wasn’t until many years later that I really had to start
untangling the differences between identifying with the men in my life, versus
identifying as a man. I think that if I had had Butch women or other young
Butches in my life at some of these critical moments that I would have
identified with them, instead of males. The sad fact is that Butch women and
the Butch experience is really not something that is accessible or visible to
the vast majority of our youth. As a young person, so much of one’s sense of
self is shaped by one’s role models, that it seems no wonder that a young GNC
female would feel identity and kinship with males, instead of with females, if
no Butch or GNC females are available as role models. If the only people that
talk about their bodies the way the way that a young GNC female experiences her
body identify as men, then it is clear to see why more and more GNC females are
identifying as men and transitioning.
I am most motivated by myself ten or twenty years ago to
keep pushing and keep being visible. It is sometimes very hard to stand up and
talk about my dysphoria or my transition, but I think it’s worth it for future
generations. Our young Butches and GNC females need to see their lives and
experiences reflected in a way that is positive about being female and
accepting of one’s female body. I just want to be the example that I wish I had
had as a child. If I can show even one young woman that she is completely in
charge of her body and the way that she uses it to express herself, then I will
have accomplished my goals. I think there’s a lot more than one out there,
though. I think there are a lot of us that need this healing visibility. I will
continue to put my words and face out there for as long as it takes.
A Start Up List of Working Latina Actresses who reasonably *could* play Henry
Mills’ Love Interest and Lucy Mills’ Mother
So I saw a few people yesterday trying to come up with actresses who might play next year’s “Mystery Woman” (who I think we are all for the moment predicting will be Princess Elena of Avalor). Anyway, I meant to do this yesterday…. but life, you know?…. so here are Latina actresses in their late 20s/very early 30s who could reasonably audition for the role.
In general, I try to keep up with Latinx Hollywood, but still this list was harder than I thought! Most of the more well known working Latinas are too old for the role, the famous ones who are the right age are OBVIOUSLY WAY TO EXPENSIVE for Once (Selena, Demi, I’m looking at you!) or currently working in large, mainstream roles (Stephanie Beatriz, Aubrey Plaza, etc).
But here’s a starting list of roughly 10 or so potentials that I came up with, mostly former child stars looking for a “transition role”, a few from edgy streaming dramas who might be interested in the stability of a mainstream network paycheck, one who is so perfect I can’t imagine anything else now. I will put this out there, in case anyone is interested or curious…
I’m just over 5 months on Testosterone now and although I’ve seen and felt a lot of changes, I still feel like people see me as female and think that I’m not masculine enough to pass.. Like even when I think I’m passing physically, I have this thought that they must think I’m gay because of my ‘feminine’ personality, which is stupid because I shouldn’t feel like I’m not man enough because of the way I carry myself. Hopefully this feeling will pass when my voice deepens more and I learn to act less ‘feminine’ in public.
you need to have physical gender dysphoria to be trans
even if you have crippling dysphoria, you cant transition because you dont try hard enough to fit into gender roles
truscum aren't gatekeeping. we just dont want the rapid increase in non-dysphoric GNC people detransitioning to actually cause more medical professionals to deny us life saving procedures because we don't 100% conform to gender roles.
if you seek transitioning when you suffer no dysphoria, you undermine every single dysphoric trans person who feels like their life is not worth living because they're in so much distress caused by dysphoria, only to have transitioning delayed because of a long wait list filled with non-dysphorics.
if you're happy in your skin, and happy taking on other gender roles (wearing a binder/stuffing a bra, or wearing certain clothes or taking on a certain label), please dont use our resources... please.
There seems to be two sides here: Number 1. There are non-binary people who are non-binary because they are comfortable with having both male and female sex characteristics/there are non-binary people who are non-binary because they are comfortable having neither male or female sex characteristics and Number 2. there are people who are non-binary because they do not conform to their assigned gender role (this one appears to be more of a social issue though and I hesitate to call it non-binary).
As a trans man, I generally have a feminine and masculine side, as do the majority of people. No man or woman fits neatly into their little box. Although I present masculine, I don’t care about buying clothes, shoes or anything really that is “meant” for women (saying that though, it is usually gender neutral stuff). There are trans men who present feminine and trans men who present androgynous. What makes them trans men is that they have dysphoria over their female sex. Being both or more feminine/masculine doesn’t make someone non-binary but this does seem to be a common misconception, within trans spaces too.
Non-binary is more than your gender expression and is to do with your sex characteristics. It is completely okay to be a gender non-conforming person, cis or trans. I think there is a lot of issues when people confuse being more masculine or feminine with a certain sex, as that is reinforcing gender roles and a standard on what you should have to conform to, when that is not the case at all. You don’t have to conform to anything.
However, we can then debate the whole meaning and description of gender. Since gender means “social and cultural roles assigned to men and women” someone who uses the term non-binary to describe themselves would actually be using the term correctly, as they do not adhere to their assigned gender role… but then there is the issue with trans people and our definition.
Trans people do not transition because of our assigned gender (remember, this means our role), we transition because we belong to the wrong sex (thus dysphoria), but the definition says otherwise: “denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.“ This definition is why I generally reject using the term “transgender” or “gender” to refer to myself nowadays because it refers to the role and attitudes assigned to us, and I personally am not transitioning from not adhereing to a female role. I am transitioning because my sex should be male.
I think it is very misunderstanding on societies and doctors part that they think we are transitioning from not conforming to our gender role and also very harmful to reinforce the idea that, if you do not neatly fit into the masculine role expected of men, or you do not fit into the feminine role expected of women, you are not a man or woman, or partly. You may think this is silly but people genuinely think like this. Take my mum for example: The other day she said that she does not consider men who are very into fashion and take extra pride in their looks, men.
The thing is, this sort of thing does not just exist in “non-binary” spaces. It exists in the trans community too, where people transition because of their gender (role). Yet, they aren’t exactly appropriating the definition because transgender literally means transitioning from one gender role to the other to conform. Is this wrong? Fucking yes, it’s messed up that people are changing their bodies to conform to society but it happens. It is happening.
When you think back to the past and history of gender roles, it makes sense that society would think trans people are people who do not conform to our role. Men were masculine and women were feminine. Feminine men? Transgender. Masculine women? Transgender. This was the case for many people, were they transitioned to conform just like it is today… but we also didn’t have much understanding that women didn’t have to be feminine and men didn’t have to be masculine back then.
However, what people fail to see is that there are people who genuinely have dysphoria over our sex not being what it should be. Not because of gender roles but because we insist in that we are the sex different to our birth sex. Where do we fit in? We’ve all been put into this “transgender” box regardless of why we are trans, including gay men and lesbian women.
As for sex dysphoric non-binary people, I do support them. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to have distress over both female and male sex characteristics. I can’t really make the argument “There is no proof” because trans people barely have any defining proof either. Just because there is no proof, does not mean it doesn’t exist. Science is always involving because we are learning new things about our own biology.
Im just going to be straight up and put these here for the internetz… I’ve yet to come out to most of my friends and not to mention my family, which I dont know how exactly I will come out to them but im sure ill figure it out.
Posting these photos here is huge step for me, not that it means anything for anyone who doesn’t know me. I’m pre everything and anything. Been hiding for a while but I just want you all to know that this is me. The real me… not the me you see when I’m hanging out with friends, or at work (both of which I hope to be comfy enough to do soon) but the me when I come back home from work or social activities. The me that can wear what she feels comfortable in, the me that can say what she feels comfortable saying and most of all the me that is afraid of bringing the reality with her when she steps out her door.
For those of you that I’m acquainted with or related to and who are seeing these… All I can say is, I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. If I haven’t come out to you already, it’s not because I don’t feel that you’re important or anything like that, it’s most likely because of the circumstances and/or predicaments that are holding me down. Some of you will not appreciate it, some of you will not accept me and some of you will (hopefully not) want to harm me. I just want to point out that you haven’t had any issues with me so far, then you shouldn’t have any issues with me now and from now on. The only difference from before is that I go by different pronouns and I’ve changed my attire. I’d really appreciate it if you could at least try to use the correct pronouns. Thats all I ask. Though I would want none of it, I know that a lot of you will judge me.
today sure is a good day to remember there is no such thing as “social dysphoria” or “social transition” and that equating gender non-conforming nondysphorics who don’t like gender roles and want to dress whoever they want to actually sex dysphoric people who transition medically to treat their medical condition is harmful af