rogue ii

Where are all the RebelCaptain WWII AUs?

I need Jeanne Erso, whose father, a French physicist, was captured by the Nazis and forced to work on a top-secret weapons project. Unknown to his German masters, he constructed plans to subvert it from within, and sent a young Wehrmacht driver with a message about the weapon to his daughter and the old partisan leader whose band Jeanne had once been involved with. 

I need Casián Andor, Spanish saboteur and freedom-fighter, determined to destroy fascism as a member of the French Resistance, accompanied by his overly-blunt British partner, Kay, a strategist with near mechanical powers of recall and observation. 

I need Imre and Malbusse, veterans of the Great War and former priests, who join with Jeanne and Casián as part of a plan to secretly cross into the Greater German Reich and steal the weapon design, thereby revealing the single flaw built into its system.

I need forged passports, encrypted messages, forest hideouts, poisons and antidotes, pistols hidden in the folds of newspapers, meetings with informants in the dark corners of cabarets, kisses stolen just as the bombs explode. 

I need love and war and death and I need it all right now. 

10

10 Years of ASSASSIN’S CREED  

3 May 2006
Ubisoft has announced Assassin’s Creed for PS3 - the latest project currently in development at the publisher’s Montreal studio.[…]

Assassin’s Creed is a stealth/action epic set at the height of the Third Crusade in 12th-century Jerusalem, and seems to borrow elements from both Splinter Cell and Prince of Persia. As an acrobatic young killer named Altair, players will work for the Assassins, a secret society dedicated to ending the Crusade.

When the tutorial is officially done in an Assassin’s Creed game and you start making plans to kill your first target

When it’s in the title

Grocery Shopping: AC Edition

Altaïr: Gets lost and ends up buying hot dogs and wonder bread in a convenience store, and some weird seasoning that nobody can identify. He manages to spend less than $10 on everything.
Ezio: Heads down to QFC, and buys several organic fruits and vegetables, but forgets to refrigerate half of them. He spends $30 on all of this.
Edward: Skips the groceries and heads to a liquor store to buy drinks and smokes. He comes home with an armload of booze tht cost about $100, and refuses to share.
Haytham: Takes Connor to Costco, where he makes Connor push the cart. He gets some cheese and sausages and lots of juice, celery and chips.
Connor: Swipes all the free samples he can behind Haytham’s back.
Arno: Goes to Trader Joe’s and spends about half an hour trying to decide what coffee to get. Buys a bunch of raw ingredients like flour, almond paste, eggs, etc. he spends about $75.
Shay: Would go to a farmers market and buy about 20 pounds of potatoes off of some weird farmer for about five dollars. Also picks up several weird types of eggs from the same farmer for about $10.
Jacob: Goes with Evie to Safeway and fills the cart with ice creams and sugar cereals and junk foods. Pushes the cart and stands on it while going freestyle down the aisle before crashing into the bagels.
Evie: Spends a lot of time putting things back, and tries to select healthy fruits and vegetables. In the end, however, she pays for a lot of bagels.


Desmond: Looks forlornly at the half eaten weenie, loaf of wonder bread, unknown spices, miscellaneous fruits and vegetables (lots of eggplants), snack foods, cheeses, sausages, meats, flours and powders and pastes, strange exotic eggs, ice cream, TV dinners, the mountain of bagels, and the giant sack of potatoes. He figures that, in the future, he’s going to have to create detailed lists for everyone because nobody bought milk. He seriously regrets mentioning that they needed groceries.
3

Boom Boom’s first experience at the Xavier Institute could have gone better. Man the X-Men are a bunch of morons in this series! They already tried attacking the Beyonder head on in the first issue of the Secret Wars II and got absolutely nowhere, and it’s obvious they haven’t learned anything here. Try some diplomacy you idiots!! (Secret Wars II #5 – Nov 1985)

Hitting the Gym: AC Edition


Altair: Goes for some of the weight training machines, mostly ones that focus on the upper body and back. Tries to steer clear of the swimming pool, but Edward makes him go in there. Once in the pool, Altair clings to floaty pool noodles for dear life. When Jacob gets kicked out, Altair goes with the Novice (he considers himself promoted) to keep an eye on him.
Ezio: Chooses to do some of the show-offy exercises for the women around. Mostly treadmill running and pull-ups and curlups. It’s not surprising that he insists on doing these without his shirt on, but nobody at the gym seems to mind.
Edward: Spends a lot of time in the pool and lifting large weights. He spends some time bench pressing and lots of time making waves in the pool. He decides to get Altair wet (after hearing that he doesn’t know how to swim) and manages to get him in the pool.
Haytham: After trying out some of the machines, Haytham decides he’d rather do cardio. He spends most of his time on a treadmill doing a cross-country run program. Somehow, even with all this rigourous exercise, his hair stays in a perfect ponytail the WHOLE DAMN TIME.
Connor: Takes to the wrestling almost immediately, and when he’s tired of that he steps in to a yoga class. He gets his limbs kind of tangled up during yoga, and tires of it relatively quickly. After that, he does a brief cooldown on a treadmill and retires to the sauna (which feels really good).
Shay: Does a lot of leg and abdominal exercises on weight lifting machines, then takes a brief (probably around 15 minute) run on a StairMaster before going to the pool. He likes the heated pool, and it takes some persuading from Desmond to get him to leave the warm pool and take a cold shower.
Arno: Does some simple cardio, lots of jogging on a treadmill and some arm exercises. Sees a sign for a fencing class and signs up for it. Wraps up by heading into the Sauna and relaxing there.
Jacob: Seriously, how does he manage to screw up going to the gym? Jacob spends most of his time there on a stationary bike and accidentally knocks over a bunch of dumbells and weights. Needless to say, he gets kicked out, and Altair goes with him to keep an eye on him.
Evie: Evie is drawn to the yoga almost immediately, and after spending a good long while in there, she signs up for a dance class and starts to learn ballet. About the same time Arno and Connor head to the Sauna, Evie decides to shower, so she’ll be ready to get going and help make sure everyone gets in the van this time.


Desmond: While he’s pretty cranky about having to fill out endless forms and paperworks to get nine gym memberships, he loses himself with an iPod (full of Rap, Rock, and Grunge) and a StairMaster. He is the last one out and in the showers, but he doesn’t really mind.
3

   Assassin’s Creed Characters + Woodkid Songs 

Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad: Stabat Mater  
Ezio Auditore da Firenze: Ghost Lights
Connor Kenway/Ratonhnhake:ton: Run Boy Run
Edward Kenway: The Great Escape
Arno Victor Dorian: The Other Side
Jacob and Evie Frye: The Golden Age
Shay Cormac: Iron
Haytham Kenway: Boat Song
Desmond Miles: Conquest of Spaces

7

too hot, hot damn

Dog edition