roger i cant

tony lost a bet & now he has to go ahead of me into every room and announce that ‘winter is coming’ before i enter
WinterThunderIronShield (Quick Fic)

I just want you to know, I hate you guys for doing this to me. But I love this so (ugh) I reluctantly welcome another ship into the shenanigans that is my blog.

Enjoy :)
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“We need to have a talk.” Tony ripped his sunglasses off his face, tossing them onto the couch and folded his arms over his chest.

Bucky, Thor and Steve all looked at each other guiltily, then up at Tony as innocently as possible.

“What’s wrong, Tony?” Steve asked, dropping the recliner foot rest and leaning forward with a concerned look on his face. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Bucky quit stuffing his face with a sandwich and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“Anthony, surely you know you can tell us anything.” Thor offered, sitting up from where hed been lying on the floor.

“Don’t act innocent with me!” Tony snapped. “The three of you have been… conspiring against me and I am done with it.”

“I have no idea what you are referring—”

“Can it Rogers!” Tony pointed a finger at him. “You, Big and Blond, have been taking my t shirts and replacing them with ones that smell like you. I am starting to look homeless wearing your huge ass shirts all the time. And you, Dark and Scary–” he jabbed his finger at Bucky. “Have been moving everything in the kitchen up to the top shelves so I have to ask you for help every damn time I want to eat something.”

“That is disgraceful.” Thor said, frowning, and Tony whirled on him.

“Oh no. No no no Thunderhead, don’t get me started on you. You have been leaving Mjolnir places where I have to be just so I have to call for you to move her. And then usually you don’t even move her, you just pick me up like a fucking cat and move me!”

“Like a cat?” Bucky muttered and Thor shrugged sheepishly.

“Not entirely like a cat, Anthony. I don’t pick you up by your neck, I simply scoop you into–”

“Stuff it!” Tony yelled. “Now I don’t know why you guys are making life difficult for me, but it stops NOW.”

“Tony.” Steve coughed. “We aren’t trying to make things difficult for you, we just want–”

“Um, we are trying to make it seem like—” Bucky hesitated. “I mean, we are only trying to–”

“You need us.” Thor said simply. “And if you need us, then the transition into a romantic relationship will be much easier on us all.”

Tony stared at him for a full minute, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he ground his teeth. “My brain just broke.” He said finally. “It’s broken. I can’t process this right now. You are telling me, that you three giant dummies have been messing with me for weeks because you want to… you want to…. I can’t even say it. I literally can’t say it. My brain is broken. I’m going to go get a drink. You three stay away from me.” He turned and stomped away.

Keep reading

10

That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him.

A Hairy Situation

Anon Request:  This is probably soooo typical.. But can I request a BuckyxReader where they end up having to share a bed (mission with limited sleeping space?) And she gets her hair tangled in the joints of his mechanical arm? *has long hair and wonders about this*

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Explicit Language, and you may die laughing.

Word Count: 1,488

A/N: Just, promise me you guys will tell me how hard you laughed. Because my stomach hurts. Enjoy! - x.T

Your name: submit What is this?


           You, Bucky, and Steve had all been shipped out to a seaside town in Greece. You were supposed to take down a leader of a large terrorist group that happened to be in the area. Well, you usually arrived the day before at the destination, before receiving the full set of orders the next night.

           The three of you guys had been squished into a small two bedroom house, which was fit specifically for missions. You don’t know how HQ managed to get all the tech in the house so early, but you didn’t want to know.

           After a long day of scouting stealth routes to the target, you were ready to shower and go to bed. It was hot in Greece, and being in the sun all day left you sweaty and baking in your uniform. The two soldiers came into the house smelling heavily of body sweat and something else that wasn’t very appealing to a woman’s nose.

           Steve unclipped his shield and sighed, “I’m going to shower.” He then disappeared down the hall, carrying his shield with him.

           You muttered, “Good, you smell like ass.” Bucky was downing a glass of water and managed to hear you, he choked on the water, and slammed the glass down. The water sputtered out of his mouth and into the sink, and he began coughing and laughing.

           “You okay there, Barnes?” You asked, trying not to smile as you raised your brows at him. He was leaning against the granite counter and recovering from the coughing fit he had. Bucky wiped his mouth and nodded, his eyes closed, and a huge grin on his face.

           Bucky’s voice shook, “Y-Yeah, I’m good, Y/N.” He sat up and set the glass in the sink, not trusting himself with drinking water at the moment.

           “Alright, I’m going to go change,” You pointed to the hallway, “Promise you won’t choke on water out here by yourself?”

           “Yeah, Y/N. You can go.” He rolled his eyes, and you shook your head as you made your way down the hall. At the end of the hall, there was only three doors, and one door was for the bathroom.

           You groaned, “I don’t want to share a room…” You opened the door nearest and saw that Bucky had already put his stuff on the bed, and you guessed Steve would’ve put his stuff in the other room. The real decision was who you would rather spoon. You bit your lip and decided on Bucky, because knowing Steve, he would be suffocating you against him.

           “You left your stuff on the couch.” Bucky came walking down the hall behind you with your duffel bag for the mission slung over his shoulder. He brushed past you into the room he claimed, and set the bag next to his. Bucky turned towards you, “We are sharing a room, right?”

           You nodded slowly and moved over to the bag, getting your mind off the fact that you will be sleeping next to the amazing specimen beside you, by hoping Steve saved some warm water for you. You unzipped the bag and finally replied, “Yeah, just promise me you don’t sleep naked.” You would actually really enjoy it if he was naked, but you had to keep up your façade.

           “I promise, I don’t sleep naked.” He chuckled, before he shot you a wink, “Sometimes.” You gaped at him, before lightly punching his metal arm. Bucky had a shit-eating grin on his face as he bent down and kicked his boots off, he picked them up and set them next to the nightstand. He then began unstrapping his vest and you quickly grabbed your clothes, knowing damn well that Bucky would have no shame, and get changed in front of you.

           You ducked out of the room and saw Steve’s bedroom door was closed, so you were glad he was finished in the bathroom. Locking the bathroom door, you sighed, and kicked your shoes off. You were going to enjoy this shower, before you head off to bed.


           By the time Bucky slid under the covers next to you, you were already passed out cold. He watched your peaceful form, a tender smile garnishing his features, as he took the moment to really admire you. You were vulnerable and Bucky enjoyed seeing you like this; your features slackened, your hair sprawled over the pillow, and soft snores escaping your mouth.

           Bucky leaned over to kiss your temple, before he whispered, “Goodnight, darling.” He then flipped over and let out a deep breath, allowing himself to relax, and yet hoping he would wake up with you in his arms.


           Your eyes fluttered open and you shifted, before you froze. You and Bucky had gravitated towards each other during the night, and you were tucked against his body, with his metal arm draped loosely around you. Bucky was nuzzled into your hair, his warm breath fanning over your neck, and your legs were tangled with his.

           You went to lift your head and your hair was yanked roughly, you yelped, and collapsed against Bucky. He jolted beneath you and he moved his face out of your hair. Bucky shifted his metal arm and you whimpered, “Bucky! Don’t move!” He froze and looked down at you, his face awfully close to yours.

           Bucky furrowed his brow and asked softly, “What’s wrong?”

           “My hair is stuck in your arm…” You sighed resting your head against his bare chest. He bit his lip, trying not to laugh, but his stomach kept convulsing. You knew he was struggling to stop himself from laughing at you. You groaned, “Go ahead, laugh your ass off..”

           Bucky chuckled and shook his head, “No, I can’t. I’m sorry, but how did this happen?”

           “I don’t know?” You shrugged, “I guess we sleep cuddled.”

           “You sure about that, darling?” Bucky quirked an eyebrow, and you glared up at him. He then looked at his left arm, seeing your hair knotted within the metal divots, and he visibly winced. “Let’s try and get you free.”

           Bucky clutched you to his chest, with his arm wrapped around your back, trying to help you get your hair out of the divots in his metal arm. He kept chuckling every time you made a painful yelp, when he accidentally tugged your hair too hard, and you finally slumped against his chest. The body heat between the both of you made it hot, and Bucky’s skin was clammy.

           “Buck, we might have to get Steve..” You whined, your forehead was pressed against his bare shoulder. He smiled and rested his cheek against your hair. 

           Bucky chuckled, “He’s not going to let me live this down, darling.” He rubbed your back, keeping his metal arm as still as possible for you. The metal was locked up tightly and he hadn’t been able to relax the arm.

           “Who cares at this point?” You huffed, “I already ripped half my hair out with it stuck in your damn arm.” Bucky rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

           He then shouted, “STEVE!”

           It was quiet for a few moments.

           The soldier blasted through the door, shirtless, and pant-less with his shield in hand. He looked around the room frantically for any signs of danger, before his gaze fixed onto you and Bucky clinging to each other in the bed. Steve furrowed his brow and asked, “Why did you yell for me?”

           You turned your head, wincing when your hair was being tugged, and said, “Because my hair got stuck in his metal arm and we can’t get it out.”

           Steve set his shield against the wall before a huge grin spread over his face. “Your hair. Got stuck. In his arm.” He then doubled over in laughter, and Bucky snorted.

           You glared at Steve, and snapped, “Can you just help?”

           “Yeah—Yeah, just…I’ll be right back.” He chuckled, before stumbling out of the room. You sighed and relaxed against Bucky, knowing things will be a bit different now that you had been sidled up to each other for thirty minutes straight. Possibly, all night.

           Bucky asked, “Now that we’ve been like this for a while, can I say something?”

           “Go for it, Barnes.”

           “I’m surprised you haven’t felt my boner yet.”

           “JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!” You screamed, and scrambled away from him. He threw his head back and began laughing so hard, that he didn’t even realize your hair was freed. You forgot all about what he said, and leaped off the bed, raising your arms in victory. “I’m free!”

           Steve came walking back in with a pair of scissors in his hand and stopped when he saw you standing in the middle of the room, and Bucky about pissing himself in laughter on the bed.

           You pointed at the scissors in his grasp and asked, “You were literally going to cut my hair?”

           “Yeah?”


  • steve rogers: *has idea*
  • steve rogers: *takes breath*
  • *muffled crashes heard throughout the avengers tower, quickly getting louder, concluding with the appearance of a shadowy, glowering figure in the doorway*
  • bucky barnes: no

“Together” says steve then exactly one(1) movie later beats up tony and destroys his suit and leaves him powerless and stranded in siberia