rocket hat

new overwatch event is actually a birthday party. there are streamers and balloons on every map. every hero gets a skin but its just their default with a party hat. mccree’s cigar is replaced with a party blower that goes off when he high noons and he wears the party hat on top of his cowboy hat. soldier’s rockets come with confetti. pharah’s rockets look like giant birthday candles. zenyatta gets a pinata skin and drops candy when he dies. the payload on every payload map is replaced by a giant cake and when it reaches the end reinhardt pops out of it wearing nothing but a giant bow over his junk.

What happens next?

He’d perfected his technique: a slight pouty lip, a frightened gleam in his eye, a begging expression. “M-m'am? I can’t find my mum. She was just in that lot over there.”

The young woman turned to stare down at the small boy. He was wearing a Sponge Bob sweater and a wool hat with rocket ships stictched onto it. Tear stains tracked down his cheeks.

“I’m scared. Can you help me?” he asked.

“No.”

His mask of childlike innocence cracked a little as surprise and irritation flashed across his face. No one had ever responded that way before. “What do you mean?”

“I know what you are.”

Clone Wars and Rebels character summaries Part 5:

THE SCRAPPY:

1. No ones likes him

DOMESTIC TERRORIST:

1. Kills villagers for fun. What a dick.

2. Asshole.

3. Unresolved sexual tension with Legless Psychopath. The relationship ended badly.

4. Black lightsaber. Shaped like a samurai sword. Can you say “awesome”?

5. Wants to overthrow Actual Pacifist ‘cause she peaceful but he he prefer violence.

6. Cool armor.

7. Christopher Fuckin’ Lee gave him a scar on his face.

8. Voiced by that one dude from the Iron Man movies.

9. Made a deal with Boring Love Interest, but it didn’t go well.

10. Leader of a bunch of other domestic terrorists.

ASS-KICKER:

1. Loyal to Domestic Terrorist.

2. Is she in love with him? Is he a father/brother to her? Is she simply loyal because they share similar beliefs? It’s pretty ambiguous.

3. Pretty awesome for someone who was only in 5 episodes.

4. Actual Pacifist’s much more violent sister.

5. Hates Legless Psychopath.

6. Anti-villain.

7. Badass.

8. Bisexual.

ACTUAL PACIFIST:

1. Deserves better than this.

2. Surprisingly badass for someone who hates violence.

3. In love with Sassmaster. They exchange tons of sassy banter.

4. Betrayed by Prime Minister Almanac or whatever his name is.

5. Her nephew has the worst name ever and prolly gets made fun of at school.

6. Ventrobi shippers hate her.

FAT FUCK:

1. No one likes him either.

2. The other fat fuck’s uncle.

3. Camp Straight.

BORING LOVE INTEREST:

1. Boring.

2. Bisexual Disaster’s love interest.

3. Pussy.

4. Thought making a deal with Domestic Terrorist would be a good idea for some reason?

5. Fucking idiot.

6. Hates Christopher Fuckin’ Lee ‘cause he fridged his mum.

7. His mum is more interesting than him and deserved better.

8. Oddly, even tho I hate him, I actually do like all the episodes he appears in. Weird, right?

NIGHTMARE FUEL:

1. Seriously, just look at her. She’s fucking creepy.

2. Leader of the Voodoo-Bitch Clan.

3. Mother of Legless Psychopath and Under Appreciated.

4. Once did some freaky voodoo doll shit to Christopher Fuckin’ Lee.

5. Kind of a mentor to Boss Ass Bitch.

6. One of the few people powerful enough to fight Magnificent Bastard.

UNDER APPRECIATED:

1. Overshadowed by his much more popular brother.

2. Used to be a nice honorable guy but then Nightmare Fuel gave him some Force-Magic-Super-Steroids and he became a dick.

3. Bara alien. 

4. Woked for Boss Ass Bitch, then pretended to work for Christopher Fuckin’ Lee to help Boss Ass Bitch get revenge on him.

5. Betrayed both of them.

6. Found his bro as a hobo in the dump, and worked for him instead.

7. Headbutted Aladdin Gladiator(or whatever her name is) to death. Then stabbed her with his lightsaber just to make sure she was dead.

8. Decapitated a bunch of crime lords at the same time.

9. Growls a lot.

JACK SPARROW:

1. Space pirate.

2. Fucking hilarious.

3. Often drunk.

4. Sold some rocket launchers to Bisexual Disaster and her friends to help them overthrow an evil king.

5. And then a few weeks later he attacked her ship(which had 6 kids on it), captured her, and attempted to sell her for profit.

6. Friends with one of the kids and probably has to babysit her and the other kids sometimes.

7. Knew Bubba Feet’s dad.

BLUE BALLS:

1. Is blu.

2. No nose. How does he smell? Terrible!

3. Badass.

4. Rocket boots.

5. Nice hat.

6. Took a bunch of politicians hostage onece.

GRAND MOFF ASSHOLE:

1. Is an asshole.

2. Everyone wishes he was never born.

Monitored - Peter Quill (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Warnings: swearing and mentions of sexual things lol

Summary: The Nova Corps send you to watch over Peter Quill and make sure he won’t be doing any thieving anymore, but engine troubles give you opportunities to impress the hella hot Starlord.

Words: 1885

________________________________________________________________

You weren’t gonna lie, when Nova Prime told you that you could watch over Peter Quill for a week and call it work, you flipped your shit. “Y/N we need someone to make sure that Peter doesn’t intend to revert back to his Ravager motives after we agreed to stand by him and the Guardians. Stay with him for a week and if it appears that he intends to do his job, you may return, but you cannot let him out of your sight.” Believe me, lady, I won’t.


“I understand Nova Prime. I will keep a close eye on Quill.” A very close eye.


She adjusted her button-up top. “Excellent,” She leaned in a little and lowered her voice. “A warning Y/N, I know Quill is quite attractive, but you cannot let him know you think of him like that. He’ll find a way to use it against you.”


You felt your cheeks heat up. “Of course not, Nova Prime. He’ll never know.”


But the truth was that you had no idea whether or not you could control yourself from wanting Quill, so as you boarded the Milano you tried to push any good thoughts of him out of your head. “I hate Peter Quill.” You whispered to yourself. “He’s nothing but Ravager scum. Thieving, lying, unrespectable garbage.” You made it to the top of the loading plank and scanned the ship before you were greeted by the Guardians. Drax and little groot were surprisingly welcoming, though Gamora and Rocket seemed indifferent, and then there was Peter. As soon as he turned around, he smiled, and you felt your self-talk’s worth disappear. He’s garbage, you thought again. Hot, rugged, perfectly lickable garbage.


“Hi,” he said putting his hands on his hips in the worst ‘nonchalant’ way possible. “I’m Peter.”


You tried desperately to hold on to Nova Prime’s words. Don’t let him know. Don’t talk to him, be sarcastic, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t let him get in between you and your work. “Hey, Peter. I’m Y/N.”


“Yes, Peter.” Drax cut in. “This is the girl from the Nova Corps who you wanted to be ‘hotter than the albamio sun’. The one who is here to make sure you are not what Rocket calls ‘an ass hat’.” He tried to imitate quotation marks with his fingers but ended up looking like an airplane stewardess.


You laughed, but Peter didn’t. He dropped his smile and stared at Drax. “This is her?” He pointed his finger at you before turning his head and raising an eyebrow at you. “You’re from the Nova Corps?”


You pulled the collar of your jacket back to reveal your pin. “You bet your ass I am.” You said imitating his usual smirk.


Everyone laughed except Gamora and Quill, who let out a sigh and turned to head up the stairs. “Alright. If I’m gonna have the Corps on my ass for the next week I might as well fly my ship. And Drax I said hotter than the Alabama sun.”


Drax furrowed his eyebrows. “You said Albamio.”


Peter stopped on the stairs. “That’s not even a word.”


Drax folded his arms and spoke a little softer. “Well, it sounds like one.”


Peter huffed again and made it up the last steps.


As soon as Peter was out of sight everyone scattered to do their part, but you turned to Drax. “What happened. Did I say something.”


Drax turned to you. “Yes, you have said several things.”


You chuckled. “Drax, I meant did I say anything to upset Peter. He seemed frustrated.”


Drax nodded his head. “Ah, yes. Peter is most likely upset because he believes you are very beautiful and would most likely enjoy sleeping with you.” You immediately felt your face catch fire. “But Peter has promised that he would never have relations with anyone on the Nova Corps.”


As soon as Drax dropped that bomb on you, he walked away, leaving you to deal with the thought of sleeping with Peter. You couldn’t deny that you wanted to, but you weren’t disappointed with Peter’s promise. After all, this is work, and work meant watching Peter Quill non-stop, so that’s where you decided to go.


As you made your way up the stairs you felt the ship take off. As soon as you made your way to the empty seat beside Peter’s the ship kicked into a jump. You sat silently for a minute or two before your brain yelled at you to talk to him, so you grabbed the controls in front of you. “You should let me fly the Milano sometime. My dad was a pilot for the Corps, I could teach you some tricks sometime.” You smiled.


Peter chuckled at your comment. “There’s no way that any Nova Corps pilot is flying my ship, or doing any tricks with my ship, or-”


“Are you afraid that I’m a better pilot?”


Peter immediately raised both his eyebrows and turned his head to face you. “Are you kidding?”


You laughed and pulled the controls out, activating them and taking control of the ship. “Nope, I’m Y/N, and I think I should fly the Milano.”


Peter scoffed and pulled his controls out further, flustered that you took over. “I think you need… you need to… Groot!” Little Baby Groot was running across the dashboard of the ship, laughing and distracting Peter.


But next thing you know the ship kicked sideways. Baby groot went flying off the dashboard as the ship launched through a portal and was ripped out of it’s jumping route. There was crashing and spinning and a little puke in your mouth but eventually, the whirling stopped. The Milano was dead quiet as little Groot stood up and dusted himself off, and as you and Peter readjusted yourselves in your seats. Peter turned and yelled down the stairs. “Everyone okay?” A series of grunts let him know that everyone was fine. “Rocket what the hell was that?”


Rocket yelled from somewhere in the ship. “I think the IAC motor of the two back engines must have been damaged. Peter, you’re gonna have to fix it if we want to fly.”


Peter yelled back. “Rocket, why the hell can’t you fix it? You can make a battery out of a catalytic converter and toothpaste!”


“Yeah, but I don’t mess with IAC motors, man. They just blow air around everywhere.” You could hear the faint sounds of Rocket blowing a stream of air, imitating the fan.


You chuckled and turned forward in your seat, but you didn’t like what you saw. “Peter I think you’re the only one who can replace that IAC and I think you’re gonna want to do that now.”


Peter turned towards you before turning forwards. “Why? What’s the-” Peter immediately saw what the broken ship was heading for. A quantum asteroid field. He knew what you knew. At the rate the ship was moving towards it, you would have to go through it, or die crashing into teleporting space rocks. “Oh… shit!”


Peter unbuckled his seatbelts as you pulled the controls out. “I’ve got this. You go fix that back motor.”


Peter stopped in his tracks. “Y/N this is my ship and even I couldn’t navigate my way through a quantum space field with both back engines out. I don’t want you getting hurt flying us through that field.” As soon as the words left his mouth his face let you know he regretted saying anything.


You chuckled. “That’s cute, Peter. But watch this.” As you turned forward you saw Peter shake his head in the reflection of the windshield and heard him walk down the stairs. You adjusted to the controls of a Milano with only side engines as best you could, but soon enough you were in the field. Rocks were teleporting back and forth and all around the Milano. If you weren’t careful and one got too close, it could take a chunk out of the ship and kill everyone in it. Yourself included, so you tried to ignore the sounds of Peter tinkering down below, trying to fix the IAC.  For about 10 minutes you had to keep ducking and rolling and pitching the Milano in order to keep everyone alive. A rock jumped in front of the ship and you had to roll the ship heavily to one side.


“Son of a bi-”


“Rocket! Watch your language on my ship!”


“Well gosh, Captain Quill. I didn’t know I couldn’t-”


“Shut up!” You yelled down at them. “Let me focus!”


Peter huffed an accomplished laugh and yelled up at you. “IAC’s good! Get us the hell out of here, space princess!”


You giggled and pulled what must have been the greatest cosmic U-Turn, then punched the Milano out of the asteroid field. Once you knew you were clear, you cheered out, unbuckled your seatbelt, and ran down the stairs. Gamora was holding baby Groot, Rocket was puking in one of Peter’s shoes, and Peter was standing behind Drax. He looked like he was whispering something to him, but he stopped as soon as you made your way down the steps. “You actually did it.” Peter said, almost in a whisper. “Might have to rethink my policies on letting Corps fly the ship.”


You chuckled. “Guess you’re gonna have to, Star Prince.”


Peter laughed, which made you blush. Obviously Drax caught your reaction because he turned to Quill and said quite loudly, “Peter, she appears to share your affections. Should I tell her she makes your nether regions eng-”


“Drax!” Peter yelled, his face turning crimson red. Groot laughed. Rocket puked again. “Dude, I told you that in confidence that you wouldn’t say anything to her.”


“I thought you said not to tell her that you would ‘give up your ship to have a night in bed with her’.”


“Drax!” Peter yelled again. “Dude, shut up!”


Gamora picked Rocket up. “I think you two should talk in private.”


Groot added, “I am Groot.” Before following her out.


Drax patted Peter on the back before leaving as well. Peter sat down and pinched the bridge of his nose and then looked up at you. “I really didn’t- Drax just- I-”


You sat down beside him and kissed him on the cheek, which honestly could not have blushed any harder. “Thanks for trusting me with the Milano.”


Peter laughed in his throat and turned to face you fully. “I’m glad I did.” He took the time to study your eyes. “I’m not gonna lie, you surprised the shit out of me. I don’t know any other pilot that could have done what you did. Myself included.”


You both laughed as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck and took a second to breathe out slowly, absolutely exhausted. Somehow this was the point where you remembered Nova Prime. “This doesn’t mean I like you. Understood?”


You felt Peter chuckle. “Understood.”

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I’m pretty happy with this final piece. Hope you enjoyed! sending love! Peace out girl scouts!

Emma

(fans-of-fiction)

4

I basically took everything other than the mugshots and the full body art and it’s depressing how little Clay art there is in all of this. So little.

I think the picture at the bottom is something that wasn’t used in the game itself - and note, the typo of the rocket being ‘HAT-3′ instead of ‘HAT-2′ as it’s supposed to be.

Also interesting is the tiny bit of extra information we get about Clay. We learn that he was frail as a child, and he was inspired by Apollo, which helped him chase his own dreams and grow stronger.

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One of the best new upgrades in the new Batman game is Batman’s ability to hoist his enemies up over, spin them around and jam his head up their asses to use them as a rockets for quick travel across the city.