rock-and-a-hard-place

4

Sex has always felt…I don’t know…good, you know? I mean, really, really good. But, uh…Sometimes, it just makes you feel bad, you know? You’re drunk. You shack up. Then, it’s the whole morning thing. You know, “Hey, that was fun.” And then, “adios,” you know? Always the “adios.”

I have a weird default tendency to differentiate between reading fandoms and writing fandoms, as in, “If I’m writing for a fandom, I cannot binge on fic for that fandom.” I don’t know why my brain decided to put up this block, and I don’t think I’ve seen other fans mention the problem, but there’s no way I’m the only person running headlong into that wall.

I can make myself read fic in a writing fandom (”Oh look, Favorite Author updated!” or “Oh look, Fic Exchange just opened!”), but there’s almost zero chance I’m going to stay up until half past midnight with bleeding eyes on a worknight going through the AO3 tag, and I really dislike that (in, you know, more appropriate conditions, bleeding eyes/worknight combination probably not recommended), especially because the inverse is true – it’s hard to start writing for a new fandom, because then I might lose my reading zing. Maybe it’s because stories in a writing fandom always make me think about that unfinished story I should be working on? I don’t like it, is the thing, but I don’t know how to get around it.