robot getting high


Favorite Television, 2016

  1. Mr. Robot (USA, Season 2)
  2. The Girlfriend Experience (Starz, Season 1)
  3. Atlanta (FX, Season 1)
  4. Stranger Things (Netflix, Season 1)
  5. Transparent (Amazon, Season 3)
  6. Looking: The Movie (HBO, Television Movie)
  7. Orange Is the New Black (Netflix, Season 4)
  8. The Night Of (HBO, Limited Series)
  9. Bojack Horseman (Netflix, Season 3)
  10. High Maintenance (HBO, Season 1)

Honorable Mentions: American Horror Story: Roanoke (FX, Anthology Series) / Black Mirror (Netflix, Season 3) / Broad City (Comedy Central, Season 3) / The Get Down (Netflix, Season 1) / Gaycation (Viceland, Seasons 1 and 2) / Girls (HBO, Season 5) / Hairspray Live! (NBC, Variety Special) / Lady Dynamite (Netflix, Season 1) / Luke Cage (Netflix, Season 1) / The Path (Hulu, Season 1)  

Favorite Episodes:

  1. Mr. Robot / “eps2.4_m4ster-s1ave.aes” / dir. Sam Esmail
  2. Transparent / “The Open Road” / dir. Jill Soloway
  3. Bojack Horseman / “Fish Out of Water” / dir. Mike Hollingsworth
  4. Atlanta / “B.A.N.” / dir. Donald Glover
  5. Black Mirror / “San Junipero” / dir. Owen Harris
  6. Gaycation / “Orlando” / executive producers Ellen Page and Ian Daniel
  7. Girls / “The Panic in Central Park” / dir. Richard Shepard
  8. High Maintenance / “Meth(od)” / dir. Katja Blichfeld and Ben Sinclair
  9. The Get Down / “Where There Is Ruin, There Is Hope for a Treasure” / dir. Baz Luhrmann 
  10. The Night Of / “The Beach” / dir. Steven Zaillian

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anonymous asked:

Imagine the haus raising one of those robot babies you get in high school

On the list of sounds he expected to hear in the Haus, Dex could honestly say the wailing of a baby was not one of them. What was even odder was that the cries seemed to be coming from the room he would be sharing with Nursey. The last time he’d spoken to Bitty, asking if it was alright if he moved in early, Bitty had only said Nursey had moved some of his stuff in. There had been no mention of children or babies, but the sound was unmistakable. Dex had babysat for his cousins before. He knew what a baby crying sounded like.

“Hello?” Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, “Anyone here?”

The crying continued, and Dex wished he could just ignore it and get started on why he was there in the first place. There were some much-needed repairs in the Haus, and Dex had hoped that by moving in now, he could get an early start.

“Dammit! Why won’t you stop crying?” Nursey’s voice was strained and frustrated and Dex knew he needed to go help.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Dex hurried into the bedroom and found Nursey sitting cross legged on the bottom bunk poking plastic cards into the back of a baby doll. “Nurse? What are you doing?”

Nursey huffed and dropped the doll on the bed beside him. “I’ve been trying to get this thing to shut up for almost 20 minutes now but it just keeps crying.”

Dex cautiously approached the bed and took a seat next to Nursey, picking up the baby doll as he went. As he examined it, he smiled. He’d done this project in high school, and while it could be a pain, once you figured out the trick of it, it was easy. He bounced the doll a little before patting its back and within a minute or two it quieted down with a gurgle.

“There we go.” He handed the doll back to Nursey and started to get up, intent on getting back to his planned repairs.

He didn’t get far, though. Nursey grabbed his arm and wouldn’t let go. “How did you do that?”

“I did this project in high school, and I’ve got cousins.” Dex sat again and took in the way Nursey was holding the doll slightly away from his body, almost as if it was poisonous to the touch. “It’s a doll, Nurse. It won’t bite.”

Nursey frowned, eyebrows scrunching together. “I know that. But it could start crying again. I wanted to take a nap. I’m so tired and this thing never stops crying.”

“Give it here.”

Bringing the doll a little closer to his chest, Nursey bit his lip. “Why?”

“I’ll babysit for a little bit. The repairs I was going to do are easy ones. Don’t worry, Nurse. I won’t drop,” Dex squinted at the doll, “her.”

Nursey handed over the doll. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. Now, sleep. You definitely look like you need it.”

Lying down on the bed, Nursey started to close his eyes before sitting up. “Hey!”

Dex stopped at the door and laughed. “Naptime for robot baby dads. Sleep, Derek.”

The laughing teasing tone of Dex’s voice stayed with Nursey as he drifted off. He was so tired and even as his eyes closed, he knew Dex would take care of the baby and not let him fail.


“Alright, baby Nurse, what should we fix next?”

Dex set his screwdriver down and picked up the doll and looked around the kitchen. He’d finished doing the all the simple, and quiet, repairs he could and wasn’t sure where to go next. The baby had cried a few times while he worked, but Dex had quickly checked the doll over and quieted it before going back to work.

The baby let out a gurgle and Dex laughed. “Yes, you’re right. Living room next. All that furniture needs help.”

Dex was surrounded by tools, and screws, and the pieces of the coffee table when Nursey came downstairs. He was also still talking to the robot baby. Nursey leaned against the doorframe to listen and smiled to himself. Dex was mostly just explaining what he was doing, but Nursey found himself paying attention when he heard his name.

“Still don’t know why he’s taking this class. Nursey is so smart. Why does he need a summer class? Maybe it’s just an excuse to have the room to himself for a few weeks before I moved in.”

Nursey tiptoed into the room and carefully took a seat on the couch. With Dex facing away from him, Nursey was hopeful Dex would keep talking.

“And I know he thinks I’m horrified to share a room with him. But it’s only because I know I won’t be able to hide much longer.”

Unable to help himself, Nursey blurted out: “Hide what?”

Dex dropped the table leg he’d been sanding. “Please tell me the robot baby learned to talk.”

Lifting the doll into his lap, Nursey grinned to himself. “Sorry, but no. Naptime ended a little while ago. Came down to see if you wanted me to take my project back.” Dex was still facing away, so Nursey decided to push a little. “Now what is it you won’t be able to hide.”

“Why are you taking a summer class?”

“Not gonna work, Dex. I asked first.”

Slowly turning around so he could face Nursey, Dex blew out a breath and looked at the sandpaper in his hands. “Fine. I won’t be able to hide my crush. Happy now? Ever since we started getting along better and working so smoothly together on the ice, I’ve had feelings.”

Nursey slid off the couch and carefully scooted closer to Dex. He took the sandpaper from Dex’s hand and pulled it into his lap. “And if those feelings were returned?”

Dex tried to pull his hand back, but Nursey held fast. “Derek, I swear, if this is-”

Lifting Dex’s hand to his lips, Nursey placed a soft kiss to the knuckles. “It’s not, Will. It’s real. Feelings have been there awhile. But then you freaked out about the room and I got scared. Thought you must still hate me.”

Finally looking up, Dex could see the honesty in Nursey’s eyes. “Never hated you.”

Nursey beamed and ran his thumb over Dex’s knuckles. “Really?”

Dex nodded. “Thought you were a snob and pretentious and way too concerned with being ‘chill” but no hate.”

Nursey’s smile got brighter and tugged on Dex’s hand until he shifted closer. “Wanna grab dinner tonight?”

Dex leaned forward and kissed Nursey on the cheek. “I”d love you. We’re going to need a babysitter, though.”


As if on cue, the baby started to wail making them both jump apart. Nursey grabbed the doll and tried the same tricks Dex had earlier. “Why isn’t this working? This thing hates me. It’s the only explanation”

Rolling his eyes, Dex grabbed for the little plastic cards and pushed one into the slot in the back of the doll. It stopped crying and gurgled a bit “It doesn’t hate you, it’s a robot.” Dex pulled out the card and looked at it. “Apparently, she needed to be fed.”

Dex let Nursey lean back again and picked up his sandpaper to get back to work. “I still want to know why you’re taking this class.”

Nursey propped the baby on the couch with some pillows and watched Dex work. “Needed an easy social sciences course. Child Development had an opening for their summer session and I’d heard it was an easy A.”

Dex started to laugh. “I’m sure it’s an easy A for those of us who have actually experienced children before.”

“You can say that again. I skyped with Lardo to ask for advice and she just shook her head and passed the computer to Shitty who wouldn’t stop laughing. Chowder is away on vacation and so are Bitty and Jack. I was about to call Ransom when you walked in.”

The baby started to whimper and Nursey lifted her into his lap. “Would you mind take out for our date, tonight?”

Leaning forward again, Dex kissed Nursey on the lips this time. “I would love it.”

list of mad gear and missile kid songs based on their experiences with destroya
  • I met god and he’s an aging frat bro
  • Destroya destroya’d my six pack
  • Smoking a blunt under the stars (can robots get high?) 
  • Nice fanny pack, dad
  • Lukewarm brewskis > motor oil 
  • My synth pop soul 
  • Get a move on saving the world before there’s nothing left
  • Sorry about the last song please come back we’re sorry
  • Magic boombox 
  • Infinity Battery
  • Socks and Sand(als)
  • I’m finally favored by a god and all it gets me is a can of labatt blue

anonymous asked:

The robot equivalent of being under the influence is probably downloading glitchy code on purpose and just being high (can robots get high???) off that

Okay but this sounds really interesting

Imagine programmers that make code specifically to let robots experience stuff like being drunk or high. They go out with their human friends and instead of having a beer they hook up their USB with the code on it and it makes them feel loopy and silly until they eject it again

A VERY DESCRIPTIVE PROFILE OF YOUR MUSE. repost with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc.

NAME: Wesley Addison

AGE: late teens, early twenties (verse dependant)


GENDER: AFAB nonbinary (any/all pronouns, they/them he/him favored)


INTERESTS: Atom, toxic places, swimming, minor robotics, computers, reading, getting high and challenging people larger than them to fight (and winning)

PROFESSION: drifter, knight in battered armor, servant of Atom and the people

BODY TYPE: lots of lean muscle, average otherwise

EYES: Dark brown

HAIR: Deep chestnut

SKIN: Pale with neutral undertones.

FACE: sorta baby faced, heart shaped

HEIGHT: 5′5"

COMPANIONS: canon companions are Hancock + Dogmeat, but they will travel with anybody who isn’t a morally corrupt meany and who wont be rude about their beliefs. Bonus points if they’re a ghoul.

ANTAGONISTS: Far Harbor Children of Atom

COLORS: Greens, yellows, oranges, reds, the occasional sickly blue

FRUITS: Not a big fruit fan, but if they had to choose a favorite they’d probably pick tarberry

DRINKS: Nuka cola quantum, anything that vaguely glows, water, tea

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES? Not usually, but sometimes

SMOKES? Not cigarettes. Blunts? Yeah.

DRUGS? If it’s not Mentats or herbal they won’t touch it.

DRIVERS LICENSE? Lmao what’s a driver’s license

TAGGED BY: I’m a thief

TAGGING: @ghoulneighbour , @mysweetbread , @obdurare cuz ily non synth counterpart, annnnnnnnd anyone else that wants to do this!