Top 10 Howard Stern Bits Ever

Howard Stern, along with Steve Austin and Al Bundy have molded me into the man I am today. Unfortunately… some… welll… most would say I guess.

If I’m not watching wrestling then I’ll spend most of my down time listening to older Stern bits on youtube or or dailymotion. Howard now is a shell of his former self. I couldn’t imagine beginning to listen to him now. The show is nowhere near where it was a few years ago. It really started to go downhill when he joined and ruined his legacy on Americas Got Talent and before that when Artie Lange left. 

The following are my favorite 10 Stern bits, clips or shows. I’ve listened to them all multiple times and if you are a old Stern fan you’ll appreciate these and if not I’m sure you’ll find some entertainment in the majority of the clips. With no hyperbole at all I could EASILY do 100 clips if I wanted to but since like 5 people will see this I’ll keep it short. My Stern knowledge is unmatched, hopefully one day I can do some trivia on the show and make money or something.

A lot will be multiple parts so if it says part 1 just follow the links when the video is finished to hear the rest of the audio.

10. Gary’s Apology Tape. They gather up a bunch of money and have viewings to screen a tape Bababooey taped trying to get a girlfriend back. We’ve all been there before but this was absolutely pathetic, they clown him relentlessly- Playlist here.

9. Gilbert Gottfried busting Beetlejuices balls. I’ve probably listened to this more than anything. Beetle is the man and Gilbert is probably the funniest guy alive. Hes been on the Stern show more than any guest, I’ve got every appearance on mp3 and the majority are on youtube. Always hilarious when he teams with Artie and ruins Robins newsaws well.

8. Gary Roast. All of the roasts are hilarious and worth checking out. Ralph, Ronnie the Limo Driver, Daniel Karver. Its between the Artie and Gary roast for the best one though. Arties set destroying Sal here though put it slightly ahead.

7. Eric the Midget is in the Whack Pack. Again no hyperbole, I could come up with a top 50 Eric the Midget moments. My Favorite member of the show who isn’t in the studio. Here they have a scientific breakdown of why Eric is in the Whack Pack, bust his balls and he just goes off the entire time from his wheel chair talking shit.

6. Suttering John Gets Fired. I hate Stuttering John so loved him being fired from his radio show. Him ruining Howard’s vacation was a great clip too I couldn’t find.

5. The SS Mund Saga. Ronnie the Limo Driver stays fucking up. He has dozens of awesome freakouts on Youtube, I just randomly grabbed one because they are all so similar. Ronnie is the best.

4. Big Foot becomes a WhackPacker. Artie absolutely losing it here is my favorite, most genuine laughter ever. I Can’t find Big Foot bringing in his band and singing otherwise that would have been in the top 10 as well.

3. Eric the Midget’s demandments. Eric is a 3 foot tall person in a wheel chair. So much self entitlement. He has me blocked on twitter for asking how much he weighs. Here he tries to make 10 assinine demandments in order to continue appearing on the show.

2. Gary Throws First Pitch out at Mets Game. Classic ball breaking, Bababooey always put himself out there as some sort of super athlete and throws one of the most embarrassing pitches of all time. I’m still waiting on the Omaha Storm Chasers to have me out to throw a first pitch.

1. Howard Stern show on 9/11/01. Tremendous radio as thy are just a few miles from where the Towers are. Howard stays on air and broadcasts 9/11 in realtime. Even calling out Osama days before anyone else. This is Howard at his very best and how he handled this along with humor is one of the reasons he became one of my hero’s. The show starts with him talking about almost hooking up with Pam Anderson as they get the news real time and you are there with him and the crew as the gravity of how huge the day becomes plays out. The next day on 9/12 is great radio as well.

Wow, I definitely could have come up with a top 100. Leaving so many great things out, Artie freaking out on Sal, Artie freaking out on Teddie, Sal falling off the Stage, Win Johns Job, Miss Butterface, Artie Drunk in Vegas, Cabbie clips, Jackie Martling clips, Ralph is a shitty house guest, Eric the Midget 0.0 call, Eric the Midget orders a hit. You can probably find any of those by just keying them into a YouTube search. If you listened to any of these and enjoyed some stuff drop me a message and let me know on twitter @hypegotti

wistful-wanderer  asked:

OQ and The Proposal :)

The boxes sat beside the door, packed and ready for her moment of departure. She should’ve left by now, should’ve just grabbed the necessities and gotten the hell out of dodge. Word would spread soon about what’d happened, about what she’d done, and she’d be more of a laughing stock than she already was. God, she’d been such an idiot and for what? To stay in a job where practically every member of staff hated her guts? To live a horribly lonely existence in a house too big to hide from her own sadness?

She’d alienated practically every single person she’d ever known save for the only man who’d been able to tolerate her – her father.

God, she wished he were alive still. Perhaps things would’ve been different. Perhaps she would’ve been different.

She wasn’t even sure when she’d become the monster that she was but she could see it all too clearly now. Had seen it reflected back at her from eyes that’d finally opened her own.

It’d meant to be a quick fix, a simple solution that would’ve kept her from deportation but instead she’d done what she does best and ruined a life other than her own. Ruined it in front of his damn family too.

She wished she could just go back to hating him.

If she were being honest with herself, she never truly had hated him. Not one bit.

“The tattoo on my foot was for him,” she confessed quietly, hoping that he had fallen asleep already almost as much as she was hoping he was awake so that she could finally speak about him, her Papi. “He used to take me out into the backyard with all of the lights turned off so that we could lay on the grass and look up at the stars.” She smiled sadly up at the ceiling, her throat tightening with emotions that still hurt like a thousand knives piercing her skin. “He was my best friend,” she sniffled, nuzzling a little deeper into the pillow beneath her head, “my only friend.”


“It’s a beautiful tribute,” Robin replied softly. He’d never known of the tattoo’s existence until this whole thing had started. It had been practically the only bit of information he didn’t already know about her. She’d refused his attempts at learning the origin of it up until tonight and she still wasn’t sure why she was telling him but, she thought, she found herself content with having done it.


“Thank you,” she breathed, wishing she could see through brick and stone to the sky above them.


“And Regina?” he asked a long moment later when her eyes were beginning to grow heavy and sleep began to claim her. He waited until she made a soft sound of encouragement before he finished, “He wasn’t your only friend,” and to clarify, to ensure she understood him, he added, “not anymore at least.”


She startled at the tap on the glass of her door, forcing herself to smile at the sight of the intruder on the other side. Zelena. She motioned for the redhead to come in, asking, “What can I do for you?” when the other woman closed the door behind her.

“Oh, it’s nothing really,” her voice was saccharine, her smile almost verging on maliciously gleeful as she took in the bare walls and taped boxes, “just came to have a look at the place, see how you’re getting on.”

Regina could hear it for what it was, a poorly concealed hint that time was ticking and that she was no longer an editor here but now something of an intruder. “I’m almost done,” she gave back, keeping her gaze steady and her tongue bitten – what she wouldn’t give to tell the woman what she’d really thought of her for all of these years but she wasn’t going to leave like that, she was going to be the epitome of class – “just saying goodbye to the place.”

“Yes, well…” Zelena smiled with a shrug, “don’t linger too long, will you?”

Regina matched her terribly fake laugh and watched as the redhead left with one last flash of her wicked smile and wave of her fingers. God, she was awful.

“She gives you a run for your money, I’ll say that much,” Robin laughed before taking another swig from his bottle, giving an indignant but amused “hey!” when she threw her bottle cap at him in retaliation.


She watched the fire burning for a little while, allowing her thoughts to ebb and flow like the tide hidden by the dark of night before she was frowning and asking, “I’m not as bad as her, am I?”


“Asks the woman forcing me to marry her lest I lose my job?”


He’d meant it to be playful, she can tell by his tone but his words pick at an already open wound because she’s been thinking about it more and more these past few days. Thinking about just what she’s asking him to do. It’d been easy in the beginning, he’d been nothing more than the assistant she relied on throughout the work day but she’d gotten to know him over these last few days, gotten to know his family and there’ve been promises made about spending holidays in one another’s company despite the plan to get a quickie divorce in a couple of months. 

“I’m sorry, Regina.”


“Don’t apologise,” she laughed softly – it sounded forced even to her own ears – “you’re right. I’m just as awful as Zelena, if not worse.”


She struggled to open the door with the box in her hands, managed to squeeze her way out but grunted when it swung and hit her in the back with a dull thud, winding her and dislodging something that fell to the floor with a great smash. Blinking open her eyes, her heart sunk when she realised it was the framed photograph of her father that had sat atop her desk for the duration of her time here.

Her resolve to remain strong and not show weakness in front of everyone faded as she stared helplessly at the only picture she had of him before she moved to bend and retrieve it.

“Let me.”

She stilled, froze at the sound of his voice. “Robin?” She was almost sure she was imagining things because she’d left him back in England standing at the altar in front of all of his friends and family.

He lifted his head and blue eyes met her own. It really was him.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the very same thing,” he replied, dropping his gaze back to the ground so that he could scoop up the bigger shards of glass and the photograph between gentle hands, turning it and depositing it on top of the desk behind him before turning back to her. “A note was all you left me with?”

Her stomach flipped, she’d confessed to ridiculous things in that note expecting to never see him again. “I thought it was easier-“

“Than what?” he questioned, “than staying and having a real, adult conversation with me after everything that we’ve been through, after everything that happened.”

“What was the point?” she shook her head, fighting against the tears building at the sight of him before her, “it wouldn’t have changed anything. I’d still be the bitch boss forcing you to marry me.”

“You know that you became so much more than that the moment we kissed.”

She was shivering violently, kept warm only by the strong arm holding her against his body as he walked her up to their shared room. God, she must look like such an idiot.


It’d been too much for her to take though, being surrounded by love like that, the love of a parent and of a grandparent. She hadn’t belonged to a family in so long and suddenly she did through their acceptance and care. “I’d forgotten what it felt like,” she murmured, allowing him to sit her down on the edge of the bed as he moved to the drawer in which her things lay.


“What do you mean?”


Her brow furrowed as she fought against her building tears, staring down at her fingers as she picked at her nails. “Having a family.” But the damn broke and suddenly she was thrown into a fit of sobs as she lowered her head into her hands. At least now though, she couldn’t fall off the side of a speedboat as she had done when she’d practically hijacked it to run away from her feelings.


He was kneeling before her in an instant, his palms on her upper arms as he tried to calm her with soothing words, pulling her against him and accepting her weight when she all but fell from the bed and onto his lap. Her arms wrapped tight around his shoulders as she pressed her face against his neck and allowed herself to be comforted for the first time in almost ten years.


Robin rocked them both and continued whispering those soothing words until she was able to catch her breath again. She let out a shuddered exhale before pulling back and wiping at her face. She was sitting sideways on his knees and kept from falling by strong hands at the base of her back. “I’m sorry,” her head shook. She didn’t deserve his kindness and so tried to pull away but he kept her in place.


“Don’t apologise for your feelings, Regina,” he replied, lifting a hand to stroke damp hair from her face, “not to me.” That touch lingered as another tear fell. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, catching the salty drop on his lips before trailing up to kiss her temple and then her forehead. It was endlessly soothing.


She found her palms moving to his chest, fingers curling in the damp material of his t-shirt and remaining when he pulled back enough to look at her. There was such depth in blue eyes, such emotion that she found herself almost transfixed by him. She couldn’t be sure who moved first but, after a long moment, she found herself leaning into him until their mouths met in a sweet kiss that was nothing more than a gentle press but that stopped her heart completely.


“That should never have happened.”

“But it did,” he pressed on, “and I’m glad it did.”

Her lips parted as she glanced at those not even pretending not to be watching the exchange and found herself shaking her head as she whispered, “I can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

Dark eyes found blue once more and, God, the sincerity there, the kindness, the patience…it only broke her heart further because, “You deserve so much more than me, Robin,” her chin quivered as she continued, “you are a good man and me? I’m nothing but a monster.”

His head tilted as he looked at her in that way that always had her feeling vulnerable and over-exposed, like he could see into her very soul. “Bold and audacious perhaps but not a monster,” he shook his head a took a step closer to her, “nothing even close to a monster.”

Her eyes closed when he cupped her cheek, the tears she’d been fighting back falling as she leaned into the touch and confessed softly, “I’m scared.”

He chuckled, his hot breath washing over her skin as he replied, “Then that makes two of us.”

The box dropped from her hands and hit the floor between them but neither paid it any mind as mouths met in a kiss filled with a desperate longing and hands scrabbled to thread into hair and grip at clothes, keeping them impossibly close as cheers erupted around them.

“Marry me, Regina,” he whispered against her mouth in a break for air, smiling as he added, “because I’d really like to date you.”

Send me a pairing and a Movie Verse

Changing His Ways (Robin Hood Request)

Pairing: Robin x Reader

Prompt: Can you make a imagine where the reader is snows sister and falls in love with Robin??

“Trust me on this one, Aurora. You will get your kingdom back. And I’m gonna make sure of it.” You said grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

The ride on the carriage had gotten a little bit bumpy, specially with all the damage the curse had done to a once beautiful land. You rested your head beside the window and looked outside of it, taking in the sight of the vast forest before you. Distracted enough by the landscape you halted when an arrow broke through the glass and flew right next to your face just to land on the carriage’s wall.

“What is that?” You heard Aurora say as the carriage stopped and you felt how someone landed on the roof of the carriage. Shit. You thought as the door next to Aurora was opened and this hooded person taked the chest that lied on the seat next to you and dissapeared as fast as he had appeared. 

“Hey, no!” Is the only thing you’re were able to voice before the thief leaved. “For God’s sake.” You cried full of anger as you rapidly got out of the carriage and mounted one of the steeds that led your carriage, not before setting it free with your sword. You galloped fast as light, nudging your horse on the sides so you could catch the thief who had stolen your chest and also the other steed which he was now riding.

“Stop!” You cried as you threw yourself out of your horse and knocked him and the chest down, spilling out all of the gold that was inside it. Both of you fell to the floor, your body landing on top of his, scrapes and small cuts were done but none of that mattered when you looked at the face of the person who had tried to rob you. 

Blue met Y/E/C as you took him in. You had to control your hand from stroking his soft-looking stubble, not to mention his chocolate hair. What on earth? You thought. Get your shit together Y/N, this is the man who had tried to snatch away what belong to you. 

“Oh, bloody hell.” He finally spoke as he rubbed his head, you quickly got off him and stood up, grabbing your sword from where it had landed and pointing it to him. “Who are you?” you said demanding an answer, a quick one.

“Easy there, you don’t want to hurt yourself, do you?” The man said standing up with his hands up in a surrender manner. “I said who are you?! Now answer me or the only one getting hurt is you.” You replied with your sword nudging him on the chest, right were his heart was.

“I’m Robin of Locksley. And who do I have the pleasure of stealing of?” He said as he bowed, his hood falling over his head. “Of trying to steal.” You emphasized on the word with another nudge of your sword. “I’m Y/N.” You said in an aggressive tone. 

“Calm down, beautiful. I assure you I meant no harm. I just meant to take your money from you.” He said with a crooked smile and a mischevious glint in his eyes. “It didn’t seem like you would miss it that much, since the famous Snow White wouldn’t leave her little sister poor, would she?” Robin raised an eyebrow at you and you couldn’t help but stutter out the question. 

“How do you know I’m her sister?” 

“There are not many Y/Ns around here.” Robin smirked and started to lower your sword. “How about we forget this ever happened and you just let me run away with this money? You don’t need it anyways,” 

“Of course I do!.” You said in a resentful tone. When Robin gave you a look of real questioning you threw your arms in the air truthfully annoyed. “It’s not for me, it’s for the villagers. I don’t need it, and they certainly do. Unlike you, I try to help people who are in need. I’m not a selfish creature who would do anything to satisfy my needs.” You said in a irritated voice. 

Robin looked at you in the eye, his face showing real shame. He couldn’t help but look down and put his hood up, just to flee the scene and dissapear into the forest.

You couldn’t stop thinking about him. His blue eyes haunted your dreams, his body beneath yours had wrapped you with a warmness incomparable to any other person. He had made you far more angry than the common thief, but you just couldn’t understand why. Well, maybe you could. You were falling for him, this hooded man with his bow and arrow.

A few days after Robin had attempted to rob you, you found a small wooden horse, not much bigger than the palm of your hand, with a piece of parchment that read in fine handwriting: I’m sorry. I’m a horrible man, but I’ll change my ways.  The wooden steed now rested upon your nightstand, where you would look at it in night like this. 

As you once more kept moving around your bed you heard footsteps on your balcony. You brought yourself up and silently made yourself with your dagger and holded it near you. “Who is in there?” you asked uneasy before the shadow of a man opened the doors that led to the balcony. But it was not any man indeed. It was Robin, his quiver on his back alongside his bow. A glint of pleade in his eyes. “Y/N.” Robin exhaled your name, as if he had been holding it along with his breath. He nearly ran to your side getting rid of his weapons along the way, dropping them on the floor.

“Robin. W-What?..” You were cut off by Robin’s lips on yours. Your shoulders tensed by the abrupt touch, but gave in eventually. It was only then, when you felt his lips, so sweet and tender above yours that you realised how much you had wanted this to happen.

“I-I’m sorry, Y/N. I just couldn’t.. I-I had to..” As he, you shut him with a kiss, a more passionate one. One that showed the longing and yearn you’d never admit outloud.

“Y/N. I thought I’d have a black eye by now, honestly.” He said with a soft laugh as he rested his forehead on yours. You smiled, your hand resting on his cheek. “The thought did cross my mind.” 

“Y/N, I’ve changed. I’m not the thief you met on the woods that day. And I want you to know it’s because of you. I’ve changed my ways for you, Y/N. To be a better man for you and deserve to be by your side.” Robin said holding both your hands near his heart.The most truthful look in his eyes.

You pressed a soft kiss on his forehead, one that spoke of forgiveness and understanding, of everything he once was.

“I trust you’ve changed. And that now you’re a man of good. And nothing would make more happy than to have you by my side forever, Robin. So please do, stay.” Lying beside you, Robin wraps an arm around you as you lay your head on his chest. Finding the comfort you were seeking.

You slept sound that night, surrounded by his warmness. A smile on your lips, knowing that he’d never leave your side.