robin tim drake

An average day at Wayne Manor

Bruce: *sitting and reading the newspaper* 

*suddenly hears a crash and some screaming from upstairs* 

*footsteps running back and forth on the ceiling*  

Dick: Bruuuuuuce!!!!

*another crash and some muffled grunting* 

Jason: Don’t listen to him, Bruce, everything is fine!!!

*some more muffled cursing and punches*

Damian: This is all your fault, Todd!!!

Tim: For the love of god, somebody put out the fire!!!!

*more running* 

Steph: I got it!!!

*the sounds of a pipe bursting* 

*more screaming and cursing* 

Dick: Bruuuce!!! Call the fire department!!!

Tim: Screw that, call the Justice League!!! Damian’s on fire!!!

*more screaming* 

Bruce: *takes a sip of tea* I hate my life

Tim refuses to ride in a car with Jason driving anymore because he’s gotten like three concussions from Jason constantly slamming the breaks (and throwing him forward into the dashboard, since he’s always so exhausted that he forgets the seatbelt) after speeding up and Jason does this on purpose just to mess with the kid and when it happens he’s laughing like “hahahahahha please tell me you didn’t just break your nose”

anonymous asked:

"Oh my god... I'm inside a suitcase..." with Tim and any batfam member

It was with great certainty that Tim swore he would never fall asleep anywhere ever again. After all, he had fallen asleep in his bed (for once) and now he was most definitely not in his bed. He was in some kind of box maybe??? By feeling along the sides, he felt a zipper of sorts, maybe a pocket. Plus his legs were completely asleep and folded up so that his chin touched his knees. It took a moment, but he finally realized where he was. “Oh my god… I’m in a suitcase…” It took next to no effort not to freak out because honestly, he didn’t want to put the effort into it. He was in a suitcase for god only knows what reason and he could at least figure out how to get out. By pushing his ear against the side of the case he could kind of make out the sounds around him, enough so to hear a rather familiar voice. “He won’t mind if he was shoved into a suitcase. It’s for science. Or at least that’s what I’ll tell him when he wakes up.” It was Jason who shoved him in this infernal case? Not surprising, but not nice. It took a little wiggling around to reach the inside of the zipper, but Tim was finally able to coax it open a little bit so he could begin his escape from his tiny prison. He waited until Jason seemed to have left the room before he climbed out of the mostly opened case into the empty room. When Jason reentered the room, he found Tim standing next to the case looking mildly irritated. “Care to explain why you shoved me in a suitcase?” “Science?” “Try again bud.” Jason shrugged “I made a bet with Damian to see how long it would take you to wake up and get out. And a bet with Steph to see if you would even fit in a suitcase. I won both of them, by the way.” “That sounds more like it.” Leave it to his family to basically stage a kidnapping and put him in a suitcase.

Batfamily as things my family has said

Barbara: “If you eat that piece of bacon I swear to god this friendship is over" 

Dick: *sneaks up on unsuspecting sibling* *randomly drops and crushes said sibling with all their weight* "HUMPBACK WHALE!!!" 

Jason: "Hey come here, I have to tell you a secret. Closer. Little closer.” *sticks tongue in their ear* 

Cass: “I’m sorry but I really don’t like you and I want you to stay outside of my house or maybe just be dead and burn in the darkest pits of hell please" 

Tim: *loses battery for the remote* "WHY WON’T GOD JUST FREAKING LET ME DIE I THINK I’VE EARNED IT BY NOW" 

Stephanie: *accidentally sets fire to counter* "You know, maybe you shouldn’t play with fire anymore” “Yeah, maybe-” *lights match* “-but not today" 

Damian: "You know once a kid dared me to stick up the middle finger in kindergarten and I did and the second I did it he called the teacher and she made me sit out recess that day and this is why I have trust issues" 

Alfred: *banging pots and pans* "GET THE FRICK DOWNSTAIRS YOU PEASANTS I MADE CUPCAKES AND NEED VALIDATION ON MY BAKING ABILITIES" 

Bruce: "hOw DaRe YoU dIsReSpEct mE!!! i aM tHe KiNg Of tHiS LiViNg RoOm!!!" 

  • Tim: I'm not Batman. I have friends.
  • Ra's: You sure about that?
  • Tim: Yeah! Like Conner.
  • Ra's: He died.
  • Tim: Oh yeah. Well what about Bart?
  • Ra's: He died too
  • Tim: Lonnie?
  • Ra's: Coma
  • Tim: Steph?
  • Ra's: Faked her death without telling you and now you can't trust her
  • Tim: *scratches head* Well I guess I still have my siblings-
  • Ra's: Two of them hate you and the other one has no time for you
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: Okay but at least I'm still not Batma-
  • Ra's: Out of all your siblings you are the one most similar to Batman in skill, emotional distance, intelligence, and traumatic experience
  • Tim: *cries and stomps away in frustration*
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