robin blogs about her life

2

Have you ever met someone that you would change your entire world for? Someone whose eyes you just knew you were born to gaze into?

Lana Parrilla does such a stellar job conveying emotions with only a slight change in expression. As Robin is telling Regina why he’s getting out of the business, you can just see her forgetting herself, realizing that she does know what he means because she feels it right then and there, for him. She’s so stunned by it, she can’t even speak. Fallen into the moment deep enough not to consider that he’s not talking about her - can’t be talking about her. And here, as she thanks him and says goodbye, watch it: you can see the moment Regina reminds herself of what she’s always known - true love isn’t for her; happiness is out of her reach. She’s not the kind of person who gets a happy ending and she’s resigned to it. But for that one moment before that, she is lost under Robin’s gaze.

2013

There is a resolutions video on its way tomorrow so I won’t talk about the future just yet.

The past year has been one of the best of my life. In 2013 I:
Played for the Berlin Wind Quintet
Won the woodwind division of the Toronto Kiwanis festival
Played in the pit for Britten’s opera ‘The Turn of the Screw’
Met my boyfriend
Played my second full length recital
Shaved my head
Played my third full length recital
Won the woodwind division of the Ontario music federation’s provincial competition
Met Philippe Bernold
Played for Jeanne Baxtresser
Played for Robert Langevin
Got invited back to Orford for the new music session in 2014
Won second in the Music Federation of Canada’s national competition
Made orchestra for the second year in a row
Performed the Francaix wind quintet no 1 
Recorded 5 prescreen audition tapes
Applied to grad school
Got 3 auditions (and still waiting on 4 and 5)
Visited the Netherlands for the first time in 6 years.
Was happy with myself as a person.

Happy New Year guys! I love you all and hope 2014 is a greart one for all of you.

So I’ve found since I shaved my head my confidence has changed.

I can walk around KNOWING that people are ALWAYS staring at me, especially in Cleveland where the girls actively try to be as generic as possible it seems (generalization, there are quite a few who aren’t). And the idea that I don’t care what people think about my hair has made me so much stronger.  I’ve come to love myself and how I look and just who I am. And I love it.

I love not having to doubt whether I look good in something or whether my makeup is too much. Because I don’t care. I actually can do what I want. And I can act like myself too. Not just be the quiet girl in the corner who doesn’t want to say anything for fear that she might be judged.  I don’t give a damn. You can judge me all you want but I won’t change because thats WHO I AM.  

I dunno, I was just thinking about this today and realized that shaving my head was the best thing I ever could have done, even if I hadn’t raised money for cancer research in the process.