Things the Batfam forgot to tell Duke when he joined
Whenever any member of the Batfam mentions “that time I was dead,” they aren’t kidding.
Just because you haven’t seen Tim in days doesn’t mean he isn’t there. The same applies to Cass, for entirely different reasons.
If the Red Hood ever breaks into the Manor and tries to hold you hostage, don’t worry about it–the guns aren’t loaded, that’s just Jason doing a bit. That’s how he asks Bruce for money.
Bruce actually has THREE biological children. If a tall Damian suddenly appears in the Cave, he is from the future and can be trusted, and will occasionally bring back future snacks. Don’t try to attack him: he is stronger than you. Beware the girl: she is from an alternate universe and may attempt to introduce you to tv shows that don’t exist. You will be very disappointed.
If Christopher Kent gives you his armor and tells you that it can help you fly, he is lying. He is Kryptonian, and the thrusters are for show.
The guy in red eating your cookies on Christmas Eve is NOT Santa. That is Barry Allen. Do not get between him and food; you will regret it.
“Joker is so funny!!1!1!! 🤣🤣🤣 He’s one of my favorite villains because he’s not even a real bad guy lolz he’s just a weirdo hahaha 👏👏👏 He’s so funny and random I love how quirky he is 😍😍😍😍😍 I hate how people say the Joker is a bad person he’s just a funny weirdo 😝😝😝”
*Beat 15 year old Jason Todd to death with a crowbar*
*Abused and emotionally manipulated poor Harley for years*
*Shot Barbara Gordon in the spine and paralyzed her before stripping her naked and taking photos in an effort to drive Jim Gordon insane*
*Once skinned a man alive out of spite*
*In Injustice, tricked Superman into brutally murdering Lois Lane - the love of his life - as well as their unborn child*
*Literally shaved his own face off and wore it as a mask for what reason???*
*Raped a woman just to get back at her husband*
*Blew up a school building full of innocent children*
*Tortured and brainwashed 13 year old Tim Drake and turned him into Joker Jr., which deeply traumatized him to the point of having a mental breakdown*
*Literally everything that happened during the dinner scene in Death of the Family*
I think people are undervaluing how amazing it is that the LEGO Batman Movie had a character who was excited to have two dads. And it wasn’t subtle. It wasn’t hidden in the background. It was front-and-center with Robin being beyond ecstatic about having Bruce Wayne and Batman as his fathers. It was a mainstream, highly-marketed, big-budget children’s movie that showed that having same-sex parents is not only acceptable but also something to cherish. And I think that’s absolutely wonderful.
Your family is a lot to handle. As the matriarch, you know this. However, you don’t really understand how much they are until Duke comes into your lives. Cass had come from a horrible situation, but a familiar one. Bruce knew how to deal with her training. Duke’s situation is completely different.
The boy had come from a loving home, with two wonderful parents. You’d read up on them, and with Duke’s help, you’d written their obituaries. In the days leading up to the funeral, you can’t help but worry. He barely eats anything, and he leaves the room when more than three people are in it.
The only one who doesn’t seem surprised is Alfred. When you question him about it he says, “The poor boy is grieving, Mrs. Wayne. His entire world has been turned upside down, he’s in a brand new environment, and to be quite honest, your children can be a lot to deal with.”
You purse your lips, “So Bruce went through the same thing?”
The old man smiles, “Master Bruce was quite different. With him I had to deal with him risking his life, and other odd entities.”
You roll your eyes, “Of course. What changed that?”
The butler smiles, “You, Mrs. Wayne. You pulled him out.” Without another word, you watch the butler go.
You lay in bed awake the night before the funeral, and without thought you send you arm flying so that your hand lands right on Bruce’s face. You feel him smile, before he kisses it. Turning towards you he asks, “Can’t sleep?”
“I’m worried about him, Bruce.”
“Me too.” There’s several minutes of silence before you toss the covers aside.
Bruce groans, “Don’t go, the bed will get cold.”
You smile, “Well I should hope so, I’m going to get ice cream.”
He smiles back and says, “Alfred will kill us for eating upstairs.”
“Then we shouldn’t leave any evidence.”
You make your way through the Manor, and you’re a bit surprised to find the kitchen light already on. You find Duke at the island with a plate of leftovers in front of him. You hesitate before walking in. He looks up and meets your gaze.
There’s a few minutes of silence before you say, “I came down to sneak ice cream. Do you want some?”
It doesn’t surprise you when he doesn’t respond. Instead of pushing, you head to the fridge, and then you hear, “What kind is it?”
You smile, “Cookie dough. I keep it hidden behind the broccoli, but that’s just between you and me, but I’m willing to share.”
He nods, and you pull out two bowls. You scoop generous servings into each and slide a bowl in front of him before pulling your own bowl in front of you. You don’t push him to talk, you wait for him to make the first move, “I’m dreading tomorrow.”
You meet his eyes, before sticking a spoonful of ice cream in your mouth, “I get it. My parents’ funeral was horrible.”
You nod, “They died in a car accident when I was eight. My grandmother raised me until she died when I was sixteen. Since then, it’s been Bruce and me.”
You watch him play with his ice cream, “Why was it so bad?”
“There were a lot of people there that I didn’t know, all saying how sorry they were. I was tired of hearing sorry by that point. Sorry didn’t bring them back, and none of those people could understand how I felt. Everyone’s pain is different. And losing parents at a young age is just…”
He nods, “Yeah. You think it’ll be that way for me?”
“There’s a good chance. That being said, Bruce and I have both been there, we have a few tricks.”
“Bruce has been there, too?”
“It’s one of the things that brought us together. Bruce’s parents were killed when he was eight too. But he had a lot of focus on him, being the Wayne heir. Alfred kept him pretty sheltered.”
“What tricks do you have?”
You smile, “Sandwich yourself between me and Bruce, use the other kids as shields if you need to. They know how to deal with people who might not have the best intentions.”
“You think there will be people like that?”
You sigh, “If only because of Bruce and me, I’m sorry in advance. We draw a lot of press attention, and there’s not a whole lot we can do about it. Now you’ll have to deal with it too. I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be.” You meet his eyes, and he gives you a small smile, “Bruce saved my life, he didn’t have to do anything else. He didn’t even have to do that. Instead he stayed with me, he was there every time I woke up, and then you guys took me in. You guys didn’t have to do that.”
You blink back tears, “Duke, I want you to know… we know we can’t replace your parents. We don’t want to, either. We do want to be your family, though. I know the kids are a lot to deal with. Damian and Helena are a pair of hellions, Lord knows, and Dick loves to flip around, and Jason and Tim bicker, and Cass has this ability to sneak up on you…”
Duke reaches over and places a hand on yours, “Thank you for giving me a home. Thank you for being here. I look forward to being a part of this family.”
With a smile, you stand up and walk over to him, and then you wrap him in the tightest hug you can. He hugs you back, and a moment later, he starts sobbing. You hold him until he falls asleep. When the sound of light snores hit your ears, you feel a hand settle on your shoulder. Turning, you smile at Bruce, and watch as he effortlessly lifts your newest son into his arms.
Together, you put him to bed. You stand there, watching him sleep, with Bruce next to you. You stare at his sleeping face and you know, he’s your son. He’s one of your kids.
I think people see Jason as far too old when he died. He was fifteen. Do you know what fifteen year olds look like? Even if they’re considered “dreamboats” by their peers, they still have squishy kid faces. They still look like colts with long limbs and knobby knees. His shoulders were probably broad, but he still had to grow into them.
My point is, Jason was a child. And by disregarding that important element, it erases much of his core characterization. It’s almost like shielding the Joker from the heinous actions he committed. He is a child killer.
Jason is only nineteen now. That’s a year older than the legal age. This poor boy reached out for love and got broken glass shoved down his throat instead.
Blood and rust and angry tears. These things make up Jason Todd, murdered child.
“I still don’t understand the point of this. Why don’t Grayson, Todd, or Drake have to participate in this?”
Bruce leveled his youngest sons, with his best stern look. He wasn’t exactly crazy about this either, but for you he would do it. You loved Halloween. You loved dressing up and taking the boy trick or treating when they were younger, and later on handing out candy.
In recent years you’d become obsessed with family costumes. And with this being Damian’s last year of trick or treating, you had gone all out. You’d come home three weeks ago with the costumes. Bruce had been less than thrilled, and Damian had reminded him of an angry cat. It took the threat of banning him from patrols to get him to participate.
He did his best to not glance in the mirror off to the side. His Batman suit was one thing, it was black, he could slip into the shadow, but this? The spandex was bright red, and he was just the tiniest bit offended that you had gotten the suit with the fake muscles in it. Of the things he did to make you happy.
The sound of laughter, drew his eyes to the stairs where you stood with the two babies of the family. Helena was already four, and dressed perfectly for her role as Violet. And Terry at just over a year, was dressed as Jack Jack. You were dressed as Helen, and He was dressed as Bob, which left Damian as Dash.
He plasters as smile on his face as Helena skips down the stairs. You smile at him before handing Terry over. That’s when you announce you want to capture the horror.
Damian’s eyes burn with a fiery hatred, as you call for Alfred and Duke. Duke is all smiles as he steps out in his Frozone suit, and asks, “Have you see my supersuit? It’s awesome!”
You laugh, and Bruce can’t help but crack a smile. Until Alfred steps out, and then he actually laughs. A moment later Damian joins in, and Helena simply says, “Alfred you look so pretty!”
The butler smiles, and says, “Why thank you Ms. Helena. You look marvelous yourself.”
“Who in the world are you Pennyworth?”
Alfred simply deadpans and says, “Edna Mode.”
Pictures of your family dressed as the Incredibles are in the paper the next day. Dick, Jason, and Tim cut every single one out and make a scrapbook. They pull out the pictures any time Bruce or Damian are being particularly broody.
I’ve always preferred the censored death over the uncut one idk why but i just feel like joker being electrocuted accidentally is more horrific than him simply being shot by his own gun, while ironic and a twisted joke, this felt like a freak accident
Mark Hamill’s Death scream with the electricity echo/soundeffect is absolutely chilling also