robert blair carabuena

He’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Robert Blair Carabuena. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started hanging out with my MMDA friends who were totally righteous but then people look down on them, and Robert was like, weirdly jealous of them. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with my MMDA Friends, he’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-MMDA pool party, I was like, “Robert, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a  selfish, MMDA slapping pig faced shit-bag.” I mean I couldn’t have a selfish, MMDA slapping pig faced shit-bag at my party. There were gonna be MMDA there in their true blue uniform. I mean, right? He was a selfish, MMDA slapping pig faced shit-bag! So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to his fat ass, and he came back in the fall for high school, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s on crack.