rob wells

2017 Tony Nominated Musicals as things my friends have said
  • Dear Evan Hansen: I can't speak correctly most of the times
  • Dear Evan Hansen (Alternatively): Fuck you and your leaves.
  • Come From Away: This, ladies an gentleman, is why Canada is killing us these days
  • Come From Away (Alternatively): I'm so nice, I should win the Nobel Prize for Niceness.
  • The Great Comet: Heck the Russian Rules!
  • The Great Comet (Alternatively): French water is wine. The fish died because they got drunk. At least they died lit.
  • Groundhog Day: Guess I'll have to shout more profanities. Heck! Shoot!
  • Groundhog Day (Alternatively): The forecast calls for me being a straight up bitch.
  • Falsettos: Being sick builds character.
  • Falsettos (Alternatively): I'm going to wear a tux to my party where I eat ice cream and cry because I'll never get a Tony.
  • Hello Dolly: No Heck! Just Heck!
  • Miss Saigon: I'm not a loser. I'm a winner who's just not good at winning things.
  • Anastasia: The French is a lovely place.
  • Bandstand: Jazz has everything to do with witchcraft!
  • Holiday Inn: I think they're taking the whole "Irving Berlin" thing a little too seriously.
  • War Paint: Everyone is a bitch, Patti Lupone.
Pant-sing the Bartender

So this is the very first session of our campaign and we all meet in a tavern, we just learned that a murder occurred in town and the rest of the party is asking the bartender about that. While the bartender is distracted I attempt the following.

Me: (OOC) “Can I reach over the counter to try and try and steal some gold?”

DM: “Sure, roll slight of hand.”

*Nat 20 plus*

DM: “Jesus with that roll you could take his pants too!”

Me: “Naw I’ll just pants him and take the gold.”

The party at this point is going nuts at this, and now another party member follows in my footsteps and tries stealing more gold.

Me: “I attempt to distract the bar to help my friend steal more gold.”

DM: “K. Roll deception.”

*Nat 20*

At this point I distract the whole bar and we successfully rob the bar as well. Now at this point we’re all going nuts, so I decide to hop the bar and pants the other bartender.

*The whole party is loosing it.*

I get the guards called on me and I bolt. Only later to return to the bar by the backdoor and I dead sprint into the bar and finally pants the last bartender and getting punched in the face. I leave the bar again with party in tow having robbed the bar of ale and gold, and also having pantsed all the bartenders.

anonymous asked:

Thank you for talking about your concerns re: Sony/Columbia and Rob Stringer. I thought I was the only one who felt sick to my stomach at the thought of the man who has been friends with Simon for years, and was head of the US label that helped to closet H & L, being the one to sign H. I don't know why people are excited, because the power dynamics are really messed up now, and there's no guarantee that the stunts are going to stop for L anytime soon. Trying to have hope, but it's hard. :(

It’s very hard, and you’re perfectly welcome, anon.

I thought I had posted about Rob Stringer in the fall, but all I can find is some articles I uploaded, so I’ll revisit now. Stringer has spent his career at Sony, he’s been running labels there since the early 90s, and his brother was a main exec and CEO of Sony Corp (not music) for quite some time. Stringer has headed Columbia since 2008, and he’s done extensive business with Simon Cowell in that capacity. Indeed, Simon was the first quote in the Billboard article announcing Stringer’s appointment as head of Sony this October. Their working relationship has been extensive, as far as I can tell. He has credited his work with Simon on XFactor acts as his gateway to success for getting Glee to work, which was hugely responsible for his success turning Columbia around. [Adele as well, and he’s partly responsible for a lot of a resurgent trend of U.K. artists’ US success.] He has called Simon the “best A&R guy he knows” in multiple interviews.

One Direction signed to Columbia in 2012 as they were breaking the American market; the closet clamped down during this time.

Sony purchased controlling shares in Syco in July of 2015 – paying £85 million total for it, and absorbing the £70 million debt it had accrued. While making £45 million from it personallyis somewhat pathetic for Simon, that’s a far better fate than being jettisoned from Sony and declaring the company bankrupt within five years. The buyout was, it would appear, the best possible outcome for Simon given the failures of his television series, losing One Direction, and being unable to produce a suitably earning substitute.

Rob Stringer was announced the new head of Sony mid-October 2016.

I say all this to suggest that thinking of a ‘fresh start’ for Rob Stringer or Harry is not logically sound. Rob Stringer has been involved in their business since 2012 – but even say for argument’s sake that perhaps he didn’t determine their marketing. But Rob Stringer has been calling the shots at Sony since this fall (and potentially had input before that official announcement). And we know Sony now holds the Syco strings and has since July 2015, a date we are all very aware of – so Rob Stringer stepping into the office in the last six months has certainly had power to ameliorate the situation, and he has not done so.

Harry has been constructed as the big fish, the Justin Timberlake, almost since the beginning. It seems Sony’s going to be damned if they don’t get what they’ve always angled for, by hook or by crook. Given what we have seen, they’ve been successful at backing Harry into a corner, as well as Louis, with profound effects for Liam and Niall as well.

Columbia and Sony are sure to promote Harry’s music thoroughly, because it could make them a great deal of money. But that is the equation. It is very much in their best interests not to help Niall, Louis, and Liam or One Direction, as that would distract dollars and time from Harry’s solo work, which will make them a fortune. It is quite evident by now that Sony has had the power to step in but have not, because such an extreme power imbalance in negotiating is much more expedient for their bottom line. They’ve been monstrous and it’s gotten them Harry’s contract, which is what they wanted.

Hope is not any easy thing in such a situation. I think patience will continue to be the watchword. 

Tricks (Part 1)

Request: Hello! How are you? Could I request a Joker x Reader where the he and his friends are arguing about who the most attractive/best with the ladies is and joker ends up betting he can seduce the reader. They fall in love but then reader finds out it was all a bet. Sort of a ‘10 things I hate about you’ scenario haha Thanks lovie

A/N: I COMPLETELY fell in love with this idea this is cute AS FUCK. Part 1 of ??

Pairing: Joker x reader 

Summary: Joker makes a bet he can seduce the reader but finds out he’s met his match. 

Warnings: Sexual implications? Probably swearing? Joker stuff. 

Originally posted by grysamobojcow

Keep reading

I worry about them sometimes, I really do

I apologize...

Guinea pig!Au for Metal.

Bruce Dickinson (same expression, dude!)

Rob Halford (blond, sunglasses and jewels!)

The Manowar Guinea Pig, ready for the battle.

Ronnie James Dio (ah! those curls!!)

Scandinavian Metal Guinea Pig. Could be Alexi Laiho =P 

And last, but not least…

DAVE MUSTAINE!!! (It’s CLEARLY Dave Mustaine, look at him!!!)

anonymous asked:

As someone with much more knowledge of both European caricature history and Russian culture, could you clarify one thing that's been bugging me for an eternity? Have European powers ever depicted Russia as anything other than a bear or an octopus? Is it ever a person? Not an actual historical figure but a person of its own.

they did! the bear was more popular than the octopus (which only actually occurred in–two maps, I think? maybe three.) but Russia was depicted as a person fairly often, at least at the turn of the century. unfortunately it wasn’t…super flattering. out of every person on the map, the anthropomorphic depictions of Russia were often the most um. aggressively condescending. (note: most of these are dutch or german)

here is a 1914 map of europe by k. lehmann-dumont. the Russian bear is down in the westernmost point, being punched in the snout by Germany. behind him is a enormous bestial cossack, vokda in clawed hand, swinging the scourge of revolution. his fangs are sharp but rotting out, and if you enlarge the map you can see German bees trying to loosen his teeth.  

this one is from 1915, and Russia is only huge, not a monster. it’s depicted as a simple peasant who has had his hand lopped off at the wrist by the tsar’s troubles. vodka makes another appearance. 

another from 1914, by e. zimmerman, and it’s one of my favorites. the Russian bear sprays some sort of acid repellent on the peasant, while said peasant attempts to protect himself. the bear is also holding out an empty wallet and growling “HUNGER”. the peasant is trapped between the acid from the bear and the bayonet of Germany. also everything is on fire. being in Russia in 1914 is very stressful. 

1914, by w. trier. in this one Russia is an enormous, greasy, piglike man, set to gobble up europe. the only thing stopping him is Germany’s gun in his nose and Austria-Hungary’s down his throat. 

1915, by famed Dutch cartoonist Louis Raemaekers. Russia comes off best here, as a bearded man with a drawn saber, trapping Austria-Hungary’s head between his hand and his gigantic boot.

for the most part, Russia’s anthropomorphic depictions have a few things in common

  • sheer, intimidating size
  • a generally unkempt (if not outright filthy) appearance 
  • a look of what you’d call simplicity if you were nice, and animal stupidity if you weren’t
  • some indication of the desperation that was bringing peasants and the industrial workers closer and closer together
  • appetite

like, sure, each nation here is a caricature and each one takes a lot of national stereotypes onboard. most of these are German, after all. so France, still smarting from the Franco-Prussian war, is often shown fleeing; Serbia is drawn as the sneakiest little ratfucker imaginable, and England, harassed by Ireland, is reluctant to join the fray. but Russia, whatever its allegiance, whatever its intent or position, is always a brute. for a young nation caught between east and west, of both and neither, the seat of the third Rome–that stung. and, you know, not to assign too much human emotion to countries (that’s the mapmakers’ job), but just imagine: in less than fifty years, Russia went from being seen as a starving howling dirty peasant, to the most powerful, dangerous nation in the world. choke it down, europe.