rob a bye baby


Pairing: Yato/Hiyori
Title: Proposal
Rating: K+
Prompt: “this is probably a bad time, but marry me?” 
Requested by: Anonymous
Author’s Note: Much of this fic is inspired by the Pysch episode Rob-A-Bye Baby. Especially the bit about Antigua and the flower girls. 

The job would have been easy if it weren’t for one, tiny detail: the owner of wedding planning agency could see him.

Yato learned about it the hard way when he got tackled and arrested for suspicious behavior and stalking. The woman, like most people, had completely forgotten about him and the incident afterwards but she still refused to entertain Yato on the grounds that he looked nothing like someone who was about to get married. There had been too many robberies in the past week and she’ll be damned if she let a jersey-wearing hobo get the better of her. Yato snippily responded that he did in fact, have a fiancée and if she wanted, he could bring her over the next day. Then, he stomped out the building, rudely yelling about how awfully she treated her customers and how she would be hearing from him in the papers about her poor treatment in the coming days.

For the rest of the afternoon, Yato did nothing but try to find someone who was willing to pretend to be his wife-to-be.

He first approached Kofuku. She was game for it and even had a whole background story and outfit planned.  Sadly, they didn’t get very far before Daikoku found out and bopped Yato on the head, deeming the whole plan to be too dangerous. Kofuku brought disaster with her everywhere she went and with the luck she had, the whole store would probably end up in flames before Yato managed to weed out the malevolent phantom that was haunting its upper floors. Plus, Kofuku was no one’s lady but Daikoku’s.

Yato left their house, muttering and cursing Daikoku under his breath.

He then briefly considered asking Bishamon to pose as his fiancée although he immediately vetoed the idea on the account of her being a psycho. He couldn’t even imagine being engaged to her, even if it was all just going to be pretend.

In desperation, he asked Yukine to be his fiancée but before he could finish his request, his shinki kicked him on the shin and called him crazy. There was no way in hell he was going to pretend to be Yato’s husband, no matter how brief or how life-threatening the wedding planner’s situation was (Yukine hated her anyway—she was snobby and the wedding gowns she had on display were tacky).

In the end, Yato was left with no other option. He was going to have to ask Hiyori to be his wife.

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