roasted all of them


the foxes as things i've said pt. 2
  • dan: i think the void ate it as a depression snack
  • kevin: [referring to horses] they're the elder gods to the elder gods and they know no mercy
  • andrew: so to make up my mind, i'm getting drunk
  • matt: is this what it's like to be subtle
  • aaron: you made him use his lizard brain to Think. incredible
  • seth: ring ring it's time to fuckin die
  • nicky: bitch what skincare routine? drinking water once a day?
  • allison: i'm a slytherin, which is surprising to no one
  • renee: it isn't a real fight until you can see your internal organs
  • neil: avoid human contact as much as possible. become a cryptid
  • wymack: [gunshots immediately followed by muffled screaming]

Cole Sprouse compared dating a black guy to beastiality??
No he didn’t. Race was not mentioned once in that tweet.

Cole and Tyler are good friends and that beastiality tweet is way out of context.

I roast my friends and call them names all the damn time! What you’re seeing here is harmless banter and roasting between two males!

Also, everyone knows that Tyler The Creator has a very strange sense of humour so I’m pretty sure he understood the joke even if the rest of you guys didn’t!!

smollittlebigdaddy  asked:

Okay so you know how everyone wants a Voltron musical because of the voice actors singing skills? Imagine everyone sings beautifully and either Allura or Pidge or even Hunk have to go next but they just f***ing start rapping like a pro.









episode 16 of the bright sessions always makes me laugh & smile because. caleb is so short tempered and so DONE with EVERYTHING and so preoccupied that he’s like. so DUMB. he texts adam and basically decides that if he doesn’t reply god is dead but then when he DOES reply he says “oh no” and then when adam CALLS him he’s so confused “why is he doing that what no why is this happening” and dr bright is there like ……..dude. and then once they start talking things are less infuriating and just sweet and cute and that’s good too. what an episode.  

how to construct a generic fake ah crew headcanon post

- everyone always thought [character A] was the _____ expert. and they are. but have you considered [character B that doesn’t get a lot of attention]?

- consider [character B being totally remorseful and terrifying at something the irl person has no connection to]

- give me [character B doing anything]. give me [character B mercilessly doing anything].

- give me more of [character B being the Best In The Entire Country At Said Thing]

- nobody expects character B. but they Sure Do That Thing Very Well. 

- bonus points: even the vagabond hesitates at such a sight of [character B doin their thing] 

- extra bonus points if character B is one of the B team


Summer is Short, so Fall in Love Boys

world-builder  asked:

I really want there to be an episode of Villainous where Flug makes a ray that can drastically increase people's intelligence. But, of course, the team gets into their usual shenanigans and it accidentally hits 505. The bear goes about the rest of the episode speaking in coherent English, posing philosophical questions and driving the team to insanity. There is no "off-switch" - it has to wear off. And of course, 505 is voiced by Markiplier, so he would be speaking in his normal voice.

Omg that’d be hilarious

Like, 5.0.5. being smarter than everyone else and sighing at all their shenanigans. (Honestly it’d be funny if it allowed him to voice his opinions on all of them and he roasted them.)

I give idols so much respect because dealing with “fans” who send death threats and telling them to leave said group, roast them with not funny at all memes for reblogs or likes just because they make an mistake that I’m pretty fucking sure you made plenty of mistakes too but unlike YOU millions of people didn’t see that and jump down YOUR throat but then they have the audacity to do that to someone else knowing that they for sure wouldn’t be able to handle 1% of what idols deal with makes you even a worse person.

Like sure I get it, they made a mistake educate them calmly and nicely and not criticise them with harsh words since you wouldn’t want to be talked like that too either.

Because at the end of the day that idol you once said you loved, respected and cherished is either crying or starving themselves, or hurting themselves with drugs or wounds is happening because certain people torn them down with words that shouldn’t come out of their mouth when the day before they were raising them up with their love.

Ironic much? 🙃


Yes, this is Admiral T. Goldwyn as we know him with Huma Abedin and her son, and with his lovely daughter Tess, yesterday at Disneyland.
And yes, that is his left hand that you see, notably missing a key detail.

The warning I put out last time remains: I swear if I see ONE person acting out and so much as THINKING of @ing Tony on Twitter and comment or ask about his ring, I am going to ROAST them publicly.

People can comment on it all they want PRIVATELY or anyway by NOT including him. Yet again basic manners, because you do NOT EVER ask even people you know about “oh so how come you’ve ditched your ring?” let alone a COMPLETE stranger. So, you’ve been warned.

Oh btw, these photos? Are from TMZ. So someone wanted them out there.

Meantime, time for the usual round of drinks on the S.S. Terry.

anonymous asked:

the mercs reactions to being roasted (not by fire)

Medic: tries to laugh but gets kinda bitchy when jokes get a little too much.

Soldier: laughs and laughs and laughs! to him its a way of showing affections! like a drill Sargent and his squad!

Heavy: Laughs along with it all but later kinda freaks out and gets a little self conscious of his problems. 

Demo: probably started the roast himself!

Spy: as long as he gets to roast them back is a pretty good sport!

Scout: at first doesn’t get that they are joking and and that they arent trying to start a fight with him. its the normal progression with his brothers. attack the mind then the body. but once he knows is harmless jokes along with them.

Sniper: feels kind of special to be though of. he is constantly roasting them all from his perch so having attention on him for once is nice. and exhausting. 

Engie: tells them its okay but to watch it.

Pyro: gets sad! doesnt know they arent just making fun of them to be mean until someone explains then all is well and pyro roasts them back! (with fire)

NCT in a Haunted House
  • Taeil and Hansol: pushes each other on who walks up front. ends up walking beside each other. got scared, but had no major problem. both walk out alive
  • Johnny and Ten: Johnny had to drag Ten inside. Ten was screaming before they even entered. clings to johnny. didn't stop screaming while inside the haunted house. Johnny will imitate his scream for the next ten years
  • Taeyong and Doyoung: bickering when they entered the haunted house. Doyoung had enough of Taeyong insulting Vroom Vroom Talk Show, so he ran as fast as he could to lose Taeyong. Taeyong kept shouting: "Doyoung are you there?" and he sounded really scared, and that softened Doyoung's heart a bit so he went back to get Taeyong
  • Yuta: insisted on going alone because he a real man. pushes the curtains in search of ghosts who are supposed to scare him. all of them got roasted
  • Kun and Winwin: really chill while entering the haunted house. walked through the haunted house quietly, but the way they walked screamed "get out of the way, bishes!" which the ghosts heard on a spiritual level and they obliged. exited the haunted house as elegant as they walked in
  • Jaehyun: also insisted on going alone. pretends to drop on the floor when a ghost scared him. the ghost was like "omg you ok? im sorry im sorry im sorrrrry" and helped him stand up. he said he was okay and flashed that angelic smile of his which brightened the whole haunted house. ghosts got blinded and forgot to scare him. walks out of the haunted house in a model-like fashion
  • Mark and Haechan: Haechan actually wanted to give Mark as an offering to the ghosts so they would let him out safely but then he returned for Mark because he remembered that they have a "fantasy-like" relationship. both never stopped screaming even with the absence of ghosts. barely made it out alive
  • Jeno and Jaemin: these bffls went inside the haunted house in hoverboards. ghosts failed to scare them bc they fast af in hoverboards. shows off their skills. however, if they weren't in hoverboards and walked instead, they'd barely make it out alive too
  • Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung: while entering, they call out to the ghosts: "we're not afraid of you! come out!". brought airsoft pistols with them bc they hella ready 2 fite the ghosts

thehufflepuffshuffle  asked:

Sarchengsey road trip hc where they play all the traditional road trip games like I Spy and the Billboard Alphabet game (where you find billboards alphabetically ie. Albertson's, Burger King...). They tried playing the One Word Game, where you go around saying one word and try to make a story out of it, but they had to stop because Gansey kept throwing in SAT words and it pissed Blue off, like: "The," "Girl," "Thought," "...Tangentially" "GANSEY!!"

this is Real, omg… they try three times, and every time, gansey forgets that he needs to use words that people Know… they totally mess with him when he gets Smarty Pants on them, omg…

henry: “is a ‘torpid’ a sea creature? it sounds like a sea creature.” 
blue: “i think it might be a flower.”
gansey: “actually, it’s not a noun, it’s an adjective. it means lethargic.” 
blue: “oh. yeah. lethargic. the smell of floor cleaner.”
gansey: “no, like, dormant. or lifeless.”
henry: “this conversation is making me torpid.”
blue: “keep your lethargic conversation away from henry, gansey. he’s driving. you’ll kill us all.”

Dating Alex Includes

Originally posted by juddxdunkelheit

  • You’re both super sarcastic and everyone thought you hated each other at first  
  • “Hey Standall, the bleach get to your brain yet?”
  • “Hey (Y/L/N) the shit out of your personality yet?”
  • There were never any shy moments. The two of you had constant wit battles just going back and forth with dumb comments
  • You both make really stupid jokes and comments no one else finds funny
  • But the two of you will be dying of laughter
  • The guys can’t stand being with both of you because you both just roast them all
  • But you’re always hanging out with the guys and pretty much became part of their group
  • You have this ongoing competition to find the most ridiculous music to send to eachother. He won when he sent you a classical version of Barbie Girl.
  • He doesn’t admit it but he’s a major video game nerd and you two have COD matches every weekend, the loser pays for the next date.
  • But you usually lose anyways
  • Most of your dates and cheesy movie nights at one of your houses, which usually includes a pillow fort and a bunch of monster drinks.
  • Watching him play guitar and being surprised by his talent every time 
  • Singing along when he plays your favorite songs
  • Dates at Monet’s. You two have an ongoing competition to see who can make it through the menu first
  • Showing your love with sarcasm
Seventeen Stans and what they're like
  • Seungcheol stans: actually cute and smol, protective over their friends and always greets everyone with a hug
  • Jeonghan stans: say they hate all their friends, constantly roasting them,but also make sure they're taking care of themselves and goes full hulk when other people offend them
  • Jisoo stans: make sure there's no drama and makes sure everyone's grades, mental+physical health is in check
  • Junhui stans: always start drama yet say they hate it, secretly opens food in class and never shares
  • Soonyoung stans: always running late to class, asks to borrow things constantly and never returns them, asks for advice and doesn't use it
  • Wonwoo stans: loves anything of the arts, has some type of small animal to cuddle with even if they have animal allergies
  • Jihoon stans: cry when getting yelled at, but scream and punches (not really [maybe]) when yelling at other
  • Seokmin stans: adorable af, actual sunshines, always wear some type of hair accessory and cries watching any movie with animals
  • Mingyu stans: has a friend which they always argue with yet they still have been friends for ages, let's people compliment them and smacks whoever touches their hair
  • Minghao stans: are cute and fluffy till you offend them then they turn to thugs and will actually beat you in any fight, highly gullible
  • Seungkwan stans: often sassy (much like their bias) cry about small injuries(papercuts)tries to seduce their crush sexily, but gets called cute instead
  • Hansol stans: *underground rappers starter pack* watches Unpretty Rapstar and Show Me the Money, wants to rap but would probably be better off singing the national anthem
  • Chan stans: are the youngest in their friend group, often gets teased about being young, but the older ones know they'll have a beautiful glow up