roast turkey with stuffing

rewrote an old weight gain/stuffing fiction, done in the style of imagineyourfeedistotp  

Imagine your favorite character is out on a leisurely walk. On the way a tiny old house slowly comes into view and just as they were about to walk past the home the door caught their gaze; it hung wide open as if inviting them in. Curiosity got the better of them and they peered in to see a cozy living room full of thick cushioned couches and recliners. Despite the well condition and overall warm atmosphere, the lack of pictures or personal items indicated that no one lived there, or at least not for an extended period of time. 

The doorway matched the house in small size making it a tight fit to get in. The little living room lead into a similarly sized dining room, and it seemed the only thing that wasn’t small was the table. They couldn’t believe what met their eyes. Every inch of the table was taken up by multiple large dishes of food. There was roast, turkey, ham, casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing and pies. It was as if all the holiday meals had been combined and set out on a single table. How in the world could someone make that much food and not even be in the house? It couldn’t be for a large family dinner either, there were too few chairs.

They had just walked in on a dream.

It couldn’t hurt to try some. A scoop of mashed potatoes would not be noticed from the hefty bowl they sat in. So they took a plate from the counter -figuring they would just clean it afterwards and put it back- and glanced around for any hint of other people but still found none. With the coast clear they plopped a decent scoopful of potatoes onto their plate, after all there was no such thing as bad mashed potatoes. Even so these managed perfection. The consistency was not too thin or thick, the texture wasn’t too gritty or pasty, and they were far from bland. With mashed potatoes this promising, and the rich sent the other dishes gave off, the whole table was bound to be food heaven.

Oh they really shouldn’t. There was too much work put into this feast to have someone come along uninvited and dig in. No, that was incredibly rude, not to mention it would leave evidence of breaking and entering. Although they didn’t break in; the door wasn’t even closed, much less locked. Honestly who leaves their door hanging wide open and expects everything, especially magnificent food, to be untouched? If not them flies or animals would have gotten into the food and what a shame that would have been.

They took a large portion of everything, their plate barely able to carry it all. Now to see how well their stomach would fare. They sat down in one of the wooden chairs and started with the roast first before alternating with the others. Everything exceed their expectations. Food in such a modest little home was worthy at the dinning table of a royal family.

With food that good they tried to savor it and make it last, but the intense flavors spiked their hunger and they ended up stuffing their face and swallowing barely chewed bites. Their stomach soon filled up, creating strain for their waistband. By the end of the plate their pants dug into their sides as the button struggled to keep fastened. Relenting to their gluttony and comfort they undid the button and zipper, allowing their belly to surge forward.

They should have stopped then but instead they gathered another plateful. Half way done and each bite became more difficult to swallow, but enamored by the taste they forced the rest of it down, rubbing their belly during the last few bites. Their belly bulged out further than they knew it could, having pushed up their shirt during its expansion. It was incredibly taut too; there was no way they could fit anymore food without bursting like a balloon filled with too much air.

They would have remained leaned back in the chair but the recliner in the living room seemed so much more comfortable now with a huge meal weighing them down, so they heaved themself up from the chair and waddled into the living room, taking precautions as to not upset their stomach. They sank into the recliner and leaned back.

They had eaten themself into a food coma, that along with the warmth of the house eased them into sleep. After dozing for a few hours they found their stomach to be much less uncomfortably full, although not without some squishy fat taking the food’s place. At least now they could button their pants, even if their soft flesh protruded over the waistband more than previously.

They should head home, people were probably wondering where they were, and if they hadn’t been found by now they surely would be if they stayed any longer. But just as they were about to leave they caught a glimpse of the dining room. No longer did a feast take up the table, rather breakfast did. No, they really should head home. Though an extended break would be nice, they needed some more time to indulge themself, besides no one left evidence that they were angry about the food being eaten as they had left more out in the open the same way. Not to mention it had been a while since they enjoyed a breakfast worthy of being called breakfast.

They sat themself at the table again with a clean plate. The table was an all day breakfast restaurant, with pancakes, french toast, waffles, bacon, sausages, eggs, hash browns, grits, biscuits, and gravy. Like last time they couldn’t help but have some of everything, piling food onto their plate until it could hold no more. With an empty stomach growling for food they dug in, this time not even trying to savor the flavor. It took less time this go around for their waistband to become unbearable, and they undid their pants with a sigh as their belly fell into their lap, jiggling as it did so. They went for seconds, filling their stomach into throbbing tightness. Once more they leaned back and massaged their engorged gut.

The recliner was put into use for another time and they quickly fell asleep under the aid of a stomach filled to the brim with warm food. They woke, vaguely aware that their situation wasn’t a dream as they sat leaned back in the recliner. They were in the same cozy little house with extra pudge around their torso. This time fastening their pants their belly spilled over the waistband and peeked out from a tight shirt. If they weren’t chubby before they certainly were now.

Being constantly full of food and sleeping was such a relieving change of pace from the normal day to day routine. Their worries had been sent off and replaced with an abundance of food, what could be better?

Like they expected the table was stacked with mass amounts of food, different from the last time, but no less appetizing. They sat down in their usual chair, but as their abdomen compressed and their belly was forced outwards their pants gave in and the button snapped off, letting their soft gut loose to flood forwards. They didn’t give it much thought other than reckoning that buttoning their pants would be one less thing to worry about.

They piled a portion of everything onto their plate and quickly downed it, finding it didn’t fill them up as much as a whole plateful would normally. After stuffing themself repetitively their stomach must have expanded and was now expecting and craving that same amount of food. A second plate gone and their belly was well rounded, bloated with food and padded with fat, yet as full as it was, it wasn’t uncomfortably full; they could manage to gorge themself on one more plates worth. Gorge themself they did. They groaned and rubbed their belly as they forced down the last bits from the third plate. Somehow even just a spoonful was too much. Their skin was stretched and pulled tight over their stomach; it was a wonder they didn’t rupture.

They struggled to get up from the chair without puking and placed a hand underneath their distended belly as they slowly made their way to the recliner. Their stomach ached terribly but they were soon taken over by a food coma and slept it off. The ache they slept off but definitely not the weight. They woke up to love handles spilling over their waistband and a large soft belly having cascaded into and overtaken their lap, their belly button long gone. Even permanently unbuttoned their pants antagonized them, suffocating their thighs like sausages despite being ripped at the seams. Their shirt could now only serve as a crop top, a skin tight crop top at that.

Perhaps they should head home before they ended up completely indecent. But upon reaching the exit they found that their abdomen had grown wider than the doorway. It had been a tight fit in. It seemed there was no way out, as there was no back door and windows were out of the question.

Being stuck there wasn’t too bad though, far from bad really. Unlimited food, no responsibilities, invite a few friends over and it would be a utopia. A utopia where everyone would be fat and happy.

Zodiac Advent Calendar Day 24: Christmas Dinner Around the World

*Of course everyone can eat whatever they want. This is supposed to be fun, we know that you can’t match a food to a zodiac sign. Tastes are different.

Aries - fata (Egypt),  a kind of lamb stew with rice, bread and garlic, actually huge christmas meal, all the foods contain meat, eggs and butter - all the yummy things they didn’t during the Advent fast

Taurus - Christmas barbeque (South-Africa),  involves turkey or duck, roast beef, mince pies, or suckling pig with yellow rice and vegetables and a sweet and spongy cake called malva pudding

Gemini - angikjöt, smoked lamb, hamborgarhryggur, succulent salted pork rib,  lightly smoked puffin, ptarmigan stew or even reindeer steak (Iceland)

Cancer - gourmet (Netherlands), small groups of people sit together around a gourmet-set and use their own little frying pan to cook and season their own food in very small portions, includes finely chopped vegetables and different types of meats, fish and prawns/shrimps, different salads, fruits and sauces 

Leo - Julbord (Sweden), guests help themselves to a wide array of dishes,  includes Swedish meatballs, ham, sausages, spare ribs, pickled herring, gravlax, rye bread with orange peel, cheeses, cabbage, and beets 

Virgo - Hallaca (Venezuela), involves a mix of meats with raisins, capers and olives wrapped in cornmeal dough folded inside plantain leaves before being steamed

Libra - oysters, foie gras, chestnut-stuffed turkey, roast chicken, smoked salmon, and goose (France)     

Scorpio - Feast of the Seven Fishes (Italy), typically consists of seven seafood dishes, symbolic of the number seven, which is the most repeated number in the bible, includes baccala (salt cod), baked cod, fried calamari, fried fish or shrimp, linguine with clam or lobster sauce, octopus salad, shrimp cocktail, and stuffed calamari in tomato sauce

Sagittarius - kiviak (Greenland), comprising the raw flesh of whole small arctic birds wrapped in greasy sealskin and then buried underground for several months, once the auk meat has achieved a certain level of decomposition and been softened by the fermentation process, it is dug up and consumed

Capricorn - Julepølse (pork sausage with ginger, cloves, nutmeg, and mustard seed), lutefisk, Pinnekjøtt (salted, fried, and steamed lamb’s ribs), svineribbe (whole-roasted skin-on pork ribs), and sossier (small sausages) (Norway), red cabagge served on the side, washed down with Christmas beer ( juleøl )

Aquarius - 12 meat-free dishes (Poland), represents the twelve apostles, include barszcz (borscht) with uszka (filled dumplings), carp with potato salad, pickled herring, rollmops, pierogi, mushroom soup, cabbage rolls, potato dumplings, and salads 

Pisces - traditional curry and newrio (India),  newrios are sweet dumplings stuffed with palm sugar, sweet grated coconut, and sesame seeds

Merry Christmas Everyone! ❤️(It’s Christmas Day in Germany)
kanamari holiday headcanons~!

- thanksgiving isn’t as big of a holiday in Japan as it is in the states - so when Mari invites Kanan over to have thanksgiving dinner at the hotel, Kanan (flip flops and all…) casually walks into this lavish, elegant dining banquet 

- Kanan isn’t really big on the whole turkey/stuffing/roast beef/etc thing. but when she finds out that Mari cooked everything herself, Kanan forces herself to eat multiple servings

- after dinner, they go up to Mari’s room; Kanan passes out from a food coma while Mari does some intense online shopping 

- on the first day of december, Mari goes to Kanan’s place and drops off 25 presents (hence the online shopping). one for Kanan to open each day until christmas. like an advent calendar. but with presents. expensive presents. on the first day she got a brand spankin’ new telescope. 

- of course Kanan is against it at first. how could she ever reciprocate something as thoughtful (and expensive) as these gifts (considering there aren’t any penguins or horses lying around at a moment’s notice). but then it hits her: cliche holiday dates

- whenever Mari’s free, Kanan plans cute little activities like snuggling in front of a fireplace, drinking hot chocolate on the pier, christmas shopping trips, etc. she also makes sure to include a lot of haggu and cuddles during their dates~ 

- Kanan walks into the clubroom wearing this green sweater and all of aqours are quickly drawn to it “that is the cutest ugly christmas sweater ever! where did you get it?!” “…this is just my regular sweater” rip kanan and rip mari’s abs

- Chika AND Mari both believe in santa. even though You and Dia think its time to say something, Kanan doesn’t have the heart to tell them. So every christmas eve, Kanan sneaks into their rooms and drops off a little something from ‘santa’

- one time, Mari woke up and caught Kanan during the act. there was a long, awkward pause. the jig was up and Kanan was literally a breath away from telling Mari the truth about santa. but she was interrupted when Mari tackled her onto the floor and showered her with kisses, assuming that Kanan was her gift from santa that year 

- every gift from santa has been a letdown ever since :-) 


A Potluck “Friends”-Themed Friendsgiving That Even Chandler Would Love



Double-Cider and Bourbon Punch


Pumpkin Deviled Eggs

Sour Cream & Onion Dip with Crudites


IPA-Brined Roast Turkey and Gravy

Whole Wheat Stuffing With Fennel Sausage and Pears

Loaded Mashed Potato Casserole

Twice-Baked Sweet Potatoes With Toasted Marshmallows 

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Dried Cranberries And Toasted Almonds

Kale Salad With Roasted Acorn Squash, Pomegranates, and Grapefruit Vinaigrette


Lattice-Top Bourbon Apple Cider Pie

Mini Pumpkin Cheesecakes with Gingersnap Crust and PSL Whipped Cream

For Jive

Written by @clockworkseraph for @jiveammunition

Christmas, Gabriel figured, was just another day when you were a soldier, super enhanced or not. Stuck at where they were, it wasn’t exactly a cozy little winter wonderland.

At least the food tended to better this time of year, roasted turkey and stuffing replacing the plain old chicken breasts and steamed vegetables. Not to mention the pies, slices large enough to satisfy even his own large sweet tooth.

Working on his third slice, this one chocolate pecan, Gabriel brushed crumbs off the file he was reading to his new charge. Recently inducted into the program, Gabriel had taken one Jack Morrison under his wing, the skinny little blond taking surprisingly quickly to the rigorous environment.

“-So, they want us to work on your accuracy, but believe that with the next round of injections your speed can be- Jack!”

Snapping out of it, Jack jumped, nearly upturning his mess tray before turning to Gabriel with a sheepish smile.

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"Feast" - Kurt/Blaine

Three Thanksgivings in the life (and undeath) of Kurt Hummel.

Part 9 of the Wax verse. Kurt’s a vampire, Blaine’s a werewolf, etc. For the rest of the out-of-chronological-order verse thus far: Wax Masterpost

~2500 words. Warnings for: eating issues, sort of? Lots of talk about food


16 years

Kurt wasn’t sure what to expect from Thanksgiving.

He and his dad were skipping the extended Hummel festivities, as some cousin Kurt couldn’t remember meeting more than twice suggested hosting the family dinner at her home in Missouri. And that was just fine with Kurt, because he had no interest in trekking out to Misery to forcibly mingle with people he didn’t much like, only to seclude himself somewhere as soon as he got the chance.

Burt had been the one to suggest they stay in Lima, and admittedly, he felt no more guilt about it than Kurt did. He’d grown tired of the not-so-quiet comments, the “just sayin’, Burt, it’s probably too late, but you need to watch that one” asides that had become increasingly common as Kurt got older.

Kurt had only come out to his dad two months ago, and the holiday seemed like prime time to get to know each other a little better. They’d been talking more, not just occupying the same space but really living in it together, so this Thanksgiving had the potential to be less awkward than some in the past.

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Thanks For Nothing || Thomas & Orchid

Thomas made it back to his apartment after a bit under an hour after making plans, his hands overflowing with paper bags and containers. He kicked the door gently shut with one foot before stepping out of his shoes and heading for the couch, dumping the whole assortment of items onto the coffee table. He proceeded to unpackage all of the items and set them out, then straightened up to eye the spread in consideration.

He’d acquired a variety of vodka, whiskey, rum, wine, and champagne, and the sealed bottles all stood in a neat row along one long edge of the table. The rest of the surface was covered in boxes and plates, including pre-carved chunks of boneless roasted turkey breast, three different kinds of stuffing, artichoke dip and crackers, mashed potatoes with gravy, cranberry sauce, buttered dinner rolls, cornbread, and several flavors of pie.

The centerpiece of the table was a rather familiar gargoyle statue, still allegedly cursed, and he snapped a quick photo of the whole setup on his phone, a smirk on his features.

Deeming the arrangement suitable, he disappeared into his bedroom to change, tossing the coat and warm clothing vaguely in the direction of the dresser in exchange for a simple white t-shirt and dark jeans. He migrated his phone to the new pants just in case, and then he headed for the kitchen and retrieved a couple glasses, plates, and a stack of napkins, which he brought back out into the living room.


The Walking Broomstick

A/N: For my CS Secret Santa, scribblecat27! Even though I’ve only been talking to you for about a week and a half now, it’s been a pleasure getting to know you. Also, this wasn’t supposed to be 4000 words, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Slightly AU/slightly canon/all the fun of meeting in a mysterious tavern that crosses time and realms. Enjoy! Happy Holidays! Merry CS Feels! :]


She stalks the cold streets of the Historic Trail. During the summer, this place is crawling with tourists. It’s nearly impossible to drive, and like any true Bostonian she knows better than to try unless she absolutely has to, and even then she would drive badly enough to warrant the nickname Masshole. You had to be if you wanted to get anywhere down there, or anywhere else in the city’s labyrinthine one-way streets.

But this time of year, it’s empty. Most people are at home, celebrating Christmas Eve with their families, eating roast turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce. Emma’s mouth waters just thinking about it. With a sigh, she throws her take-out into a nearby trash can. There’s no point in carrying around leftover Chinese when you’re planning on going out and getting drunk.

Maybe now, in some alternate universe, she’s gathered around the TV with a son and husband, or walking the snow-free streets of Tallahassee to look at the lights, or laughing about their desire for a white Christmas that’s not the cottony stuff they put on display at the mall. God, if Christmas Eve isn’t the worst night to be haunted by memories and possibilities, nothing is.

The first bar she comes across will have to do.

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