road paving

anonymous asked:

Pave roads and sidewalks so you're not stepping in the dirt fool. There's also brooms/dustpans and vacuums.

FFFFFFFF HOLY SHIT AMERICANS ARE SO LAZY THEY’D RATHER PAVE EVERYTHING OUTSIDE THAN TAKE THEIR SHOES OFF WHEN THEY COME IN

WHAT IF YOU WALK OFF OF THE SIDEWALK

WHAT IF YOU GO SOMEWHERE WITH NO SIDEWALK

WHAT THEN

You Can’t Find My House

I just got off the phone with mom, and we came to the realization that my family has lived in a series of unplottable houses for a couple generations now.

-The First Unplottable House is on my dad’s side of the family, in Delphi, Iowa.  The directions to it are the stuff of Buried Treasure:  Turn off the county road with a fraction in it’s name, to the Named Dirt Road, then turn at The Discount Eggs Sign on to the Unnamed dirt road that takes a meandering path THROUGH a corn field, DO NOT take any forks on that road or the farmer will shoot your ass, then take the paved road that dead-ends on ALL the way to the end- No, farther, the road keeps going it’s not a cliff-The only indication that You Have Arrived At The Correct Driveway is that a fat gray pony will charge the car, screaming, then escort you the rest of the way there.

It’s on the side of an enormous river, they’ve owned the property since 1911, and that’s the ONLY route there.

-The Second Unplottable house is in Bedford, Ohio and belonged to my mother’s parents.  It’s at the corner of two side-streets, right across from the tiny Italian grocery store.  Due to strange development decisions, the house is about 30 feet above street level and rendered invisible by a chestnut tree so majestic Hyao Myazaki would probably put it in a movie.  The driveway, however, is VERY visible from any of the surrounding houses, the grocer, or the street.  

At least in theory and old photos, becuase if you actually GO there,  your eyes slide right past it to the neighbor’s lillac bush, or to the retro neons of the grocery store or up the Chestnut tree.  it is literally HARD to look at that driveway, all the world around it wants to pull you away.

-The Third Unplottable house is in Salinas, CA, home of my paternal grandparents.  It is the single most BORING house possible- like, if you were to ask a third-grader to draw a prototypical house, they would draw my grandparent’s house.  Utterly Unremarkable. 

Except for the part where my Grandfather, spurred by his success with the “non-fruiting” peach tree, decided to plant a California Redwood Tree, and it grew to approximately 150 feet over the course of a few short decades.  It is the tallest damn thing for miles around, and SOMEHOW deliveries keep being missed, mail is delivered to the neighbors, and any non-blood family that tried to visit would end up on the other side of town.

-The Fourth Unplottable House was the one I grew up in CA.  The Directions to it are as follows:  It’s the Bright Orange house Right Across From The School.  You know, the one with six flamingos and the Volunteer Avacado Tree.

SOMEHOW, we got everyone’s mail but OURS (we still wonder about the letter from Fort Knox for Mr. Thomas Saxophone), the other kids got lost trying to visit and ended up in Mr.Phan’s yard on the other end of the block.  Officer Brown, Mom and Dad’s friend, who had GPS back in the early 90′s becuase silicon valley, regularly got lost looking for our place.  The Flamingos did nothing.

-My parent’s current house is the second house on the right  after two right turns off the state highway that runs through town.  Sounds easy, right?  

Except that due to a couple small trees and a bend in the road, the house is invisible from the road.  I have to stand out in the road if i want my pizza delivered.  The Mailman is the only person who could reliably find the box, but he drives a subaru that’s older than my sister from the passenger side by leaning over, and delivers mail based on the aztec lunar calendar, so he’s probably not actually human.  I tried to host a party, tied rainbow balloons to the mailbox, and all nine friends had to be waved in from the street.

-My current apartment building Does Not Exist, according to my Bank, medicaid, Google, and City Hall which was a bit exciting when I first moved in and had to call everyone that yes, I was sitting in a building that really exists.   

Unless it’s my classmates, becuase they can apparently come to parties I don’t host. This Friday I had a friend telling me she had a great time at my place last Teusday… when I was home alone.  She assures me that I held a houseparty with “Those polish things you make” (I make great mini klatchky, but haven’t served them to her) and that “You were definitely there, we talked about Carvaggio and you drive me home”

Why Ducktales is important

At least…If you like Disney Television Animation.  

Which I do.  Oh so much.  

If you’re a fan of Gravity Falls, or Star vs. The Forces of Evil, or Wander Over Yonder, or Kim Possible, or Gargoyles, or any Disney Television show, then gather ‘round because I’m about to teach you some history.  

“Never forget, that it all started with a Mouse,”~~Walt Disney.

Great things come from humble origins.  Never forget that Disney TV…All started with a Duck.  

It was the 1980s.  Disney Television Animation was a new department at Walt Disney Studios.  And Disney was suffering.  These days it’s easy to think of Disney as a mega-giant, but back then, Disney was suffering.  Movies were being produced on shoestring budgets, and animators (such as Don Bluth) were jumping ship to find work at studios that were paying better and producing better content.  The Little Mermaid hadn’t yet hit theaters, sparking the Disney Renaissance.  The fledgeling animation department had produced two shows prior, “The Wuzzles” and “The Adventures of Gummy Bears”.  

Disney was in dire straights from Walt’s passing in 1966 left the studio suffering up until the 80s, when they started to take a few risks.  Risks that paid off.  The studio gambled on the idea that investing more money into quality animation would pay off in the long run if the show went into syndication.  It was something that worked well with live action, but had yet to be done with animation to that degree.  Cheap animation with tons of shortcuts could be syndicated, but something high-quality had never been done before.  

Ducktales was the first show that attempted this, and it paid off handsomely.  Not only was the show a hit with audiences (and a merchandising cash-cow) but it changed the game.  It set the stage for the Disney Afternoon a few years down the road, and paved the path for every show I mentioned at the beginning.  Without Ducktales, there would be no Gargoyles, no Star vs. The Forces of Evil, no Gravity Falls.  

Heck, I take it even one step beyond that…Without the inspiration of proof-of-concept, I’d wager that even OTHER studios cartoon creations wouldn’t exist.  No Animaniacs, No Adventure Time, no Steven Universe (and don’t think I missed the shout-out to Ducktales in “Onion Trade”) 

Ducktales was important because it raised the craft of animation to another level, combining storytelling with good, non-repetitive animation to produce quality TV.  For a time, Ducktales was Disney’s Flagship TV series, waving the banner and representing the company in the realm of television animation. 

And even today, the classic Ducktales series holds up rather nicely.  Sure, some things are a little dated, but at the end of the day, I enjoy watching Ducktales without reservations.  That’s why I own the DVD sets.  

 And it’s why I’m so happy about this reboot.  

This isn’t just a revamp of an old show.  This is Disney returning to its roots, reclaiming a bit of it’s history and polishing it off for the next generation.  I’m a little misty eyed.  I had some initial misgivings when this was announced, but the cast announcement melted those fears away, and now, seeing the trailer that dropped less than 24 hours ago…I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited for a TV series ever.  

Breaking down this trailer, we finally hear David Tennant as Scrooge McDuck.  I’ve actually been aware of Tennant’s presence in the voiceover scene for a few years now (Most notably, he plays bit parts in the How To Train Your Dragon franchise from Dreamworks) But hearing him as Scrooge…I really feel it works.  He’s got a certain quality the echos the late, great Alan Young, and I feel like he couldn’t have been better cast without some of that good old fashioned Disney Necromancy (And as we know, they used up their allotment of Necromancy on Peter Cushing for Rogue One) 

I love that the Nephews are getting unique characterization and personality. I loved Russi Taylor’s performance way back when, but one Nephew was really interchangeable with another.  Dani Pudi, Ben Schwartz, and Chris Moynihan really bring an awesome chemistry to their roles, just from the trailer.

And then there’s Webbigail.  Oh my God, I love how they’ve rebooted Webby.  She was always the annoying load back in the classic series.   Making her a Donald Duck fangirl is freaking GENIUS (and Kate Micucci is perfect for this role too) Bonus points given for Webby’s infamous “Quacky-Patch Doll”  being used for dart practice in the background of her room.  Webby has gone from outright “The Load” territory, to one of the most fun-seeming characters present in the reboot.  

And all of this from one minute and a half trailer.  I can’t wait for this series, even though I know I must.  I know it’s gonna be something special, I can feel it.  Maybe even Disney’s Flagship show, once again.  Stay tuned to my Tumblr, for much, much more.

One thing I know for certain that I’m going to do when the pilot for this airs…A side by side comparison of the Classic Pilot and the new one.  

Peace out, 

Disney Wizard

vincent van gogh words for the signs
  • *check sun and moon
  • aries: what would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
  • taurus: and then, I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?
  • gemini: that is how I look at it; to continue, to continue, that is what is necessary
  • cancer: whoever loves much, performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well
  • leo: a great fire burns within me, but no one stops to warm themselves at it, and passers-by only see a wisp of smoke
  • virgo: great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together
  • libra: there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people
  • scorpio: I take great care of myself by carefully shutting myself away
  • sagittarius: I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart
  • capricorn: I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process
  • aquarius: normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it
  • pisces: be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. then life seems almost enchanted after all
2

As much as I’d like to do some art of Undyne kicking Betty’s buttocks…a lot of people are probably doing that X3 so I’m doing the feels destroying stuff instead UwU Paps is always there to help others in their time of need, and savage Frisk being savage..though their actions seemed a bit out of the blue..hmm..

the road to hell is paved with good intentions


As always the episodes are worth the wait, no matter how long it takes, so here’s a little something for you! Also sort of a late birthday gift :D

Glitchtale © Camila Cuevas

the signs as van gogh quotes

aries: “I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.”

taurus: “There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

gemini: “Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.”

cancer: “If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere.”

leo: “Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.”

virgo: “I would rather die of passion than of boredom.”

libra: “Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.”

scorpio: “I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process.”

sagittarius: “I dream my painting and I paint my dream.”

capricorn: “What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”

aquarius: “Art is to console those who are broken by life.”

pisces: “I don’t know anything with certainty, but seeing the stars makes me dream.”

21 Recommended Books for Writers

As I’ve talked about on my blog several times, an important part of growing as a writer is learning about writing. For years I’ve wanted to compile a list of writing books I’ve read, liked, and recommend. Today I’m happy to say I now have that list to add to my blog (perfect timing for anyone who likes summer reading). I’m sure over time, this list will be added to.

Many writers I’ve talked to have read quite a few of these books. How many have you read? And is there one I need to look into? (You can comment at the bottom).

If you haven’t read any of them, cool. Now you have a list to chose from should you ever want to.


Hundreds of books have been written on the art of writing. Here at last is a book by two professional editors to teach writers the techniques of the editing trade that turn promising manuscripts into published novels and short stories.

In this completely revised and updated second edition, Renni Browne and Dave King teach you, the writer, how to apply the editing techniques they have developed to your own work. Chapters on dialogue, exposition, point of view, interior monologue, and other techniques take you through the same processes an expert editor would go through to perfect your manuscript. Each point is illustrated with examples, many drawn from the hundreds of books Browne and King have edited.

BUY / LEARN MORE

What makes a good story or a screenplay great?

The vast majority of writers begin the storytelling process with only a partial understanding where to begin. Some labor their entire lives without ever learning that successful stories are as dependent upon good engineering as they are artistry. But the truth is, unless you are master of the form, function and criteria of successful storytelling, sitting down and pounding out a first draft without planning is an ineffective way to begin.

Story Engineering starts with the criteria and the architecture of storytelling, the engineering and design of a story–and uses it as the basis for narrative. The greatest potential of any story is found in the way six specific aspects of storytelling combine and empower each other on the page. When rendered artfully, they become a sum in excess of their parts.

BUY / LEARN MORE 


Bestselling author David Farland has taught dozens of writers who have gone on to staggering literary success, including such #1 New York Times Bestsellers as Brandon Mull (Fablehaven), Brandon Sanderson (Wheel of Time), James Dashner (The Maze Runner) and Stephenie Meyer (Twilight).

In this book, Dave teaches how to analyze an audience and outline a novel so that it can appeal to a wide readership, giving it the potential to become a bestseller. The secrets found in his unconventional approach will help you understand why so many of his authors go on to prominence.

  ​ BUY / LEARN MORE


How do you create a main character readers won’t forget? How do you write a book in multiple-third-person point of view without confusing your readers (or yourself)? How do you plant essential information about a character’s past into a story?

Write Great Fiction: Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint by award-winning author Nancy Kress answers all of these questions and more! This accessible book is filled with interactive exercises and valuable advice that teaches you how to:

   Choose and execute the best point of view for your story
   Create three-dimensional and believable characters
   Develop your characters’ emotions
   Create realistic love, fight, and death scenes
   Use frustration to motivate your characters and drive your story.

BUY / LEARN MORE

The road to rejection is paved with bad beginnings. Agents and editors agree: Improper story beginnings are the single biggest barrier to publication. Why? If a novel or short story has a bad beginning, then no one will keep reading. It’s just that simple.

In Hooked, author Les Edgerton draws on his experience as a successful fiction writer and teacher to help you overcome the weak openings that lead to instant rejection by showing you how to successfully use the ten core components inherent to any great beginning.

Plus, you’ll discover exclusive insider advice from agents and acquiring editors on what they look for in a strong opening. With Hooked, you’ll have all the information you need to craft a compelling beginning that lays the foundation for an irresistible story!

BUY / LEARN MORE

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The Problem with Dany

If I had to pick a character who was the most difficult to talk about in this series, it would probably be Daenerys Targaryen.  The intersection of every single conflict and perspective–in world and modern–about her is one that is almost impossible to address without sidelining one element of it.

That her arc relies intensely white saviorism; depictions of the Dothraki are laden with racist tropes; her experience in Slaver’s Bay harkens to (but does not perfectly mirror) white conquest in the 19th century.  This pairs uncomfortably with the fact that she is 13-16 years old (I’m focusing predominantly on book!Daenerys in this–if you are here for show!Daenerys proceed with that in mind), a child sold into sex slavery, a rape victim, and someone who believes firmly and acts upon the belief that any society that relies upon slavery is not society.  As a woman in Martin’s historically inaccurate misogynistic world, she confronts challenges that are designed by the creator of the series to confront her womanhood; as a Targaryen/Valyrian/Westerosi far from her home and without the resources of that home, she is left with little choice but to look forward.

Creator-Character-Consumer

Before even touching on the content of A Song of Ice and Fire, a point that causes trouble, right out of the gate, is where do “problems” with Daenerys arise?  When, for example, does responsibility lie with a character, and when with the architect of her story?  Add into that–when does the responsibility lie with neither character, nor creator, but with instead the fans who are discussing the media in question?

All this is not to absolve Daenerys of whatever sins exist within her storyline. There are choices that the character makes that are reprehensible and for which the ultimate responsibility does lie with her; however it is also to say that many of the things that Daenerys is loathed for are decisions that lie instead at Martin’s feet.

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Alright kids buckle up this is gonna be a long one

Viktor owns a dacha that he inherited from his family that’s way out in the middle of Butt Fuck, Russia on the shore of a lake the name of which Yuuri cannot pronounce. 

Yuuri finds out about the dacha because the key to the place is an actual skeleton key and Yuuri asked about it while holding Viktor’s keys for him one day.

“Oh, that’s just the dacha,” Viktor took the key and spun it around in his fingers, contemplative. “I haven’t been there in years, not since the deed was put in my name. Maybe I’ll take you there someday.”

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