How Supergirl Season 2 Was Made
Deep within the bowels of the CW, four people in suits stand around a cauldron labeled ‘Supergirl Season 2’.
Suit #1: Alright everyone, now this was the easiest brew yet, CBS gave us most of their ingredients, we just need to wrap this up with some personal touches. We’ve already added our own experience with making superhero shows from the Arrowverse, but I was thinking we could do something extra…let’s make Alex Danvers gay. It’s not like she had a love interest for people to get mad at us about, and after her wardrobe in Taxi Brooklyn half the internet is convinced Chyler is gay anyway. Now then…anyone know where we can find some Gay?
Suits #2-4 perk up and all run in opposite directions. Eventually Suit #2 comes back carrying a five gallon bucket full or rainbow liquid.
Suit #2: Hey, a friend gave me this. It’s the left over gay from Rookie Blue. There’s not much since the finale ended with the one lesbian main character having sex with another girl and being about to adopt a child, and none of the lesbians in the show got killed or went evil, but it should work.
Pours the rainbow liquid into the red and blue liquid of the show. Suit #1 looks in at the new mixture, Alex has a light rainbow aura now, but it could be waved off by the straights if they really wanted to. Suit #1 pats Suit #2 on the shoulder.
Suit #1: That’s just the right amount of gay! Good job!
Suit #2 walks off pleased. Moments later a forklift pulls up carrying a 50 gallon drum with a nozzle at the bottom, which Suit #3 aligns with the cauldron.
Suit #1: Uh…what is that?
Suit #3: Oh, this is all the leftover gay from The 100! Given the backlash we got from killing Lexa I thought it only right to apply it to our new show as a sort of apology.
Suit #1: Well that’s a very nice thought but we already added 5 gallons of gay to the season, I think that’s enough…
Suit #3 ignores Suit #1 and opens the nozzle, pouring more rainbow colored liquid directly into the cauldron.
Suit #1: Oh…okay…well alright
Suit #1 looks into the mixture as Suit #3 drives away. Alex is unmistakably, Kristen Stewart, Tegan and Sara levels of gay now, and a new character, Maggie Sawyer, appears to have materialized. Moreover the presence of Katie McGrath is drastically multiplying it, and now there’s a light rainbow coating to Kara, Winn, and Mon-El too.
Suit #1: Oh well, I guess this will just get us a cult following now. Shipping wars are always good. Plus Kara’s got a canon relationship with a guy, and Winn was with this universe’s terrible version of Siobhan Smythe, so it should balance out. We’ll just have to add a few more James/Kara dates. Wait…what’s that sound?
The massive door used for truck deliveries opens and a cement mixer backs up towards the cauldron, it’s spout lowering onto said cauldron.
Suit #1: …What the hell?
Suit #4 hops out beaming.
Suit #4: Well after TNT ended Rizzoli & Isles…
Suit #1: Are you insane? You can’t dump all the leftover gay from Rizzoli & Isles in here! We’re trying to make a superhero show, not the L Word set in the DC universe!
Suit #4: Oh no, this isn’t all of it, this isn’t even half. Disney bought A LOT of it to spread out among their own stuff, Star Wars, and Marvel, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network both bought a bit, NBC and CBS bought some,and most of what we got the movie people took for the Amazon Island in Wonder Woman and the standalone Harley Quinn movie they’re working on. No, this is just what was left over.
Suit #1 stares in shock as Suit #4 hits a button and a river of rainbow liquid flows out into the cauldron. When it’s all done J'onn is the only one of the main cast NOT coated in gay, the James/Kara relationship has ended by the end of the first episode, and Katie McGrath doesn’t seem to have realized that she wasn’t supposed to have brought the leftover gay from Dracula with her and directed it all solely as Kara. Even Winn and Mon-El are super gay now! And while the prevailing colors of the season are still blue and red, there’s an undeniable rainbow under coat.
Suit #1: … we’re going to get letters about this.