a note on fandom and ladies who love ladies
Please believe that you deserve to be seen, and heard, and represented. That you deserve to look up at the media – not just the indie media or the black media or the queer media, but the mainstream, basic cable media – and see yourself. Believe that your stories deserve to be told – your love stories, your family stories, your personal stories.
And believe that when the mainstream media has failed you for decades and decades, when shows and movies have promoted the stories of straight white thin beautiful people instead of your own, over your own – believe that you have the right to re-write, to re-imagine, to re-create to make what you love.
We don’t all have the money to film beautifully lit shows with professional actors, but we can make edits. We aren’t all JK Rowling but we can race-bend Hermione. We aren’t all going to be hired to write television shows, and we aren’t all the producers and executives who approve them, but we can write fic. Fandom is ours, but we deserve better.
The act of looking at what we’re given, and saying “I both love this, and I demand that it be better, and, in fact, watch me make it better” is resistance.
Visibility is resistance.
I’m fucking furious because of all the folks who are sending those long, wrenching, beautiful coming out stories to Chlyer and Floriana and Dominique and Kat. I’m fucking furious that they’re all you have – these (as far as we know) straight white women who are doing their best but are ultimately just pretending to know what it’s like to be you. You deserve better.
You deserve better. You deserve women in your life who are out and who are happy – not just in your media – in your basic cable and your assigned reading in middle school – but in your schools and your churches and your neighborhoods. Women who you don’t have to tag on twitter or fly across the country to wait in a line to get affirmation and love from. You deserve to have these role models from infancy. Chyler and Flo and Dominique and Kat are doing incredible things from the community but we shouldn’t have felt like we were waiting for them our whole lives. They shouldn’t be changing your life – your life never should have been silenced in the first place.
And if anybody tells you that you don’t deserve it, that you’re greedy, that you’re sex-crazed, that you’re a snowflake, that you’re imagining things, that you have your gay goggles on and it’s tiring, that you need to be realistic, well.
Look them in the eye, and say “fuck you, because I deserve better.”
That includes show runners and that includes actors and that includes your shitty friends.
Because we have been ignored and unseen and silenced for decades and decades but we deserve better. You deserve better.