rizzles shippers

Me and shipping
  • Me: *Finds out you can play Mass Effect as a female and have a relationship with a female character*
  • Me: There is no way this could end badly...
  • Bioware: *Laughs maniacally*
  • Me: *cries*
  • Me: *sees commercial for Rizzoli & Isles*
  • Me: Ho, don't do it!
  • Me: *Starts watching Rizzoli & Isles*
  • Me: *Starts shipping Rizzles*
  • Me: FUCK!
  • Me: *Sees Swan Queen on Tumblr*
  • Me: Ho, don't do it!
  • Me: *Watches season one*
  • Me: *sighs in relief*
  • Me: I don't ship it.
  • OUAT Season 2: *Begins*
  • Me: Oh shit.
  • OUAT Season 2: *Continues*
  • Me: Abort! Abort!
  • OUAT Season 2: *Ends*
  • Me: Fuck me.
  • Me: *Sees Korrasami on dash*
  • Me: Nope!
  • Me: *Sees the restaurant blush gif set*
  • Me: *Watches 3 seasons of Avatar: The Last Air Bender and 3 1/2 seasons of The Legend of Korra in two weeks to catch up*
  • Me: This is going to hurt so much, isn't it?
  • Korrasami: *Happens*
  • Me: No way!
  • Me: Oh, Supergirl! I love Supergirl.
  • Me: Abort! Abort!
  • Jessica Jones: Here, have some Trishica!
  • Me: What the fuck? I did not ask for this!
  • Supergirl: Have some Supercat while you're at it.
  • The Force Awakens: Hey there.
  • Me: No, please, God, no. Anything but that...
  • The Force Awakens: *murders my hopes and dreams, then stabs me through the heart.*
  • The Force Awakens: Oh, and here's an OT3 that will never happen.
A Roadmap to Jane Rizzoli's face

A Guide for Maura Isles

Sequel of this post.

Legs

Long bones. Long, long bones. The second most interesting long bones Jane Rizzoli possesses (can you guess what other interestingly long bones she has?). Did I feel you shiver. Well, you should because dayum, if you could have those legs wrapped around your head            wait, what?

Although it’s not really in her character, it’s a shame that we don’t often see Jane wearing skirt ‘coz when she does… cf. picture above. BAM, legs pregnant. You want to lick those light milk chocolate tanned limbs from the bottom to the top.

I need a shower.

Butt

Tidy round your desk and chair, tidy tidy everywhere, tidy farts and whitey butts, I can see your underwear!,you quietly hum as you watch Jane The Rizzoli shake her thang to the silly melody. Maura Isles may have one of Boston’s finest derrière, but Jane Rizzoli is a close second, or a challengingly tied first place. I mean, you and I both have seen what those ass cheeks look like in a spandex, in a skirt, even in her slightly too large working pants.

I need another cold shower.

Waist

Let’s take a second to appreciate the badge and belt.

Abs

Haaa. The abs. ZE abs. The ones you would want to lick whipped cream on. The ones you’ve been dying to put your cheek against. The ones that nearly give you sudden death when Jane flashes them (extra bonus if badge on belt). The ones most likely Maura scrapes her nails against when… I need a cold shower.

(I need another cold shower.)

Boobs

Although Maura has the undeniable Rack of God, Jane has no reason to be ashamed of her own chest configuration. I mean, look at them.

Look at them.

Plus Maura doesn’t seem to mind.

Arms

Arm porn is still a thing. You may or may not be familiar with Lindsay Boxer (Jane’s AU twin or younger self). Please allow me.

Feeling hot and bothered yet?

Bonus: finger pointing.

Hands

Long bones.

I could press about her scars, how they are a reminder of how strong she is and a constant proof of her wild survival instincts. I could hypothesis on how much flailing they would be if Jane were to ever play piano. But I’ll just stick to the most important.

Long bones.

If you know what I mean.

Chin

That splint chin. I want to put my finger (or my tongue) on it. Is it just me, or?

Face and dimples

*dead*

*so so dead*

*dimples dying a million times*

Eyes

Widely refered to as “chocolate brown eyes” in any fanfiction. Das because chocolate is delish.

Eye-sex alert: please be considerate with your surroundings. Passive eye-sex can result in widespread pregnancies and WE CANNOT TAKE ANY MORE BABY FEELS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE ASDFGHJKL.

Hair


Such dark mane. So capillary kuddos. Wow stud hair.

Thank you for your attention. You may return to a normal activity.

Shipper out.

My Complicated Relationship With My Pusher
  • Me: *Loads up AO3*
  • Me: Hit me.
  • AO3: What do you want? Rizzles?
  • Me: No, man, I'm off that shit. How about some Swan Queen, or Shiara? I don't know.
  • Ao3: What kind of buzz you looking for.
  • Me: Hurt/Comfort, friend. Maybe wish some domesticity for a finish.
  • AO3: Shit. You sure?
  • Me: Yeah, man.
  • AO3: Well, I've got this new stuff. It's called Supercat.
  • Me: Yeah? Tell me about it.
  • AO3: Older woman with a son who's a social misfit, and her pretty young assistant who's secretly a superhero, and low key in love with her boss, but also dealing with the emotional fall out over the destruction of her entire planet. Interested?
  • Me: Yeah. Yeah, man. Go on. Fuck me up.

Bless the hearts of those who write the most perfect fanfictions that feed the shipper in me.

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