river poetry

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
She got me praying all hours of the night, say she want my heart, She pulling me to the river, drawing me with her siren's call, Done gave her my heart but now she wants my soul, Well I already sold it to the man in red, "Fell in love with your charm," but its a curse; cos am dead, Girl you're not who you say, bad girl they say you are Innocence isn't where am at, wear your crucifix bae Don't make me out all serious bonnie, slave to this bad religion, Unrequited love, praying at my shrine, cos I don't have a heart Like a dead man walking, I lay at your side, Make sure you're alright in my world, atleast that for you girl,

I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul

Poe junkie

The cold of London is forgotten in the glow of a lighter,
It is all you do to kill the grey,
Numb at the tips and you flick it right up,
And a dead man they say,
as you get High another day,
Just a drag to a smile, its chocolate.

Just a dab you use it,
Get high to get calm,
Paranoia but you do it,
Sweet lies its all like chocolate

You and your friends call it chocolate,
The lyrics of the song called it fate,
Roll up and strum the strings, chocolate to forget,
Dead inside and sad soaked futile hate,
You bite her lips, taste like wine and chocolate,
You call it chocolate, just a lie; you dead?

Your lungs they take it in like a friend,
Your heart breaks again, remember why you like it?
She broke your heart so you broke your head,
Bent with drags of chocolate, loved her but she didn’t know,
Bite your lips, light it up and inhale your fate

Inspired by the 1975 chocolate and my own addiction and self destruction
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.
Nothing could be more ethereal
than watching
sunsets on the river
underneath
the dusty skies
with you.
—  Sunsets on the river, Shikha Singh
Two Rivers Flowing

With clean hearts and dirty hands
sharing together these many miles

Equally partaking of joy and sorrow
a world divided into tears and smiles

Sailing over the oceans and deserts
in our darkest night or brightest day

Sometimes fearful and yet never lost
for our love has led us all this way

Apparently clueless victims of choice
writing symphonies that never end

Ofttimes foolishly seeking answers
as random and changing as the wind  

Two rivers flowing with no destination
with open eyes we see each day anew

How this journey ends no one can say
but I’ll gladly face even that with you 

Return.

And when we
return to dust,
share this earth with me
ride these winds with me,
let us mix
together
with the rivers
that flow,
let the sun sift
through the cloud cover,
as we nestle
undisturbed
at the bottom of the sea.

© SoulReserve 2016

As if the self could be a departure,
even if only through a fresh grief,
that would be a returning and a beginning.
   
As if the water that I am
might find a better form,
rise above, in a body composed
of something other than lust and sorrow,
or simply slip down into this water,
which atones, and forgets, and need not speak.
—  John Brehm, from “Supplication at the River,” Poetry (May 1983)