river of no return

What the Battle for Mewni has Done to Our Sweet Children
  • River: Threw a rave every day to cope with the loss of his wife, then was flung into orbit.
  • Moon: Remembered that she had a deal with Grandma Satan after kicking it on the slime bunker for two weeks.
  • Eclipsa: Did you say, "chocolate?" Chocolate? Chocolate! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CH
  • Ludo: Ask him to defeat a kingdom, he'll do it. A Wolverine with scales? No problem. But write in a book? Not in a million years.
  • Toffee: Concocted a twenty-five year plan to get his finger back, but can't figure out that he can just flip the bird with his /other/ hand.
  • Magic High Commission: Came back to life just in time to figure out who's going to be their new boss.
  • Yvgeny "Buff Frog" Bulgoyaboff: Continues to be the best dad in the show; fight me.
  • Glossaryck: Burns alive and then gets offended by the notion that he might be dead. Also, I'm not so sure about the "I don't have feelings" thing.
  • Marco: Joined the people who think @ ing Trump on Twitter counts as activism. BUT DID YOU SEE?? HER??? PUNCH???? THE THING???
  • Star: ["The Bitch is Back" plays on repeat for 10 hours straight]