rivarmin

Teacher Levi educating students about sex

And he includes gay sex as well as straight sex.

“Use a condom because you’ll either get knocked up or get a disease. That and I’m pretty sure you don’t wanna spend your morning cleaning jizz out of your asshole.”

“If your gay and you’re the bottom, have asprin at the ready in the morning.”

“Tops buy your man some goddamn asprin. Be respectful damnit.”

“JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE BLEEDING FROM YOUR VAGINA DOES NOT MEAN YOU WON’T GET PREGNANT BECAUSE THOSE LITTLE SHITS WE CALL SPERM WILL FIGHT HARD TO MAKE YOU A MAMA.”

“If a man says his dick is too big for condoms…you run…..you run so fucking fast.”

“Don’t swallow jizz it’s bad for you.”

“I was required to say that.”

“Truth is spitters are quitters.”

“Pedophiles exist….fair warning.”

“If someone says no to sex THEN DON’T BE A SHITDICK FUCK OFF!”

*pelvic thrust* “Don’t do what I just did”

“LUBE. Lube is important. You will regret not using it.”

“Treat your girl right, eat your girl right.”

“Get tested, because if you give someone a disease, chances are you’re getting shot.”

*explains every sex position that comes to mind*

“Vibrators can be your friend.”

“Never Netflix and chill.”

*chucks condoms at everybody*

*gets called to the office*

They deserve love too

If you think Armin is “weak,” remember that he has brains where everyone else has brawn. Do we base a person’s value solely on his or her ability to dominate physically or do we also value aspiration, cleverness, and loyalty? If you think Mikasa is “too clingy”, remember that after everything she’s been through and all the Titans she’s defeated, she deserves to rely on someone else for once. If you think Levi is “rude” remember that he’s lost nearly every person in his life who mattered to him. Somehow, he’s still fighting, putting on a brave exterior as he faces his foes. If you think anything about anyone, remember the positive contributions that character may have made and ask yourself whether your judgement is truly fair.

I dont treat fictional characters like they’re real people.

I treat them like fictional characters, which means whatever my mind comes up with, I can do whatever the

f u c k

i want with them.

That’s why they are fictional!

When your basically the only one that ships a pairing:

When I find a fic that has a interesting plot, the world building is crazy good and the character development is well written, I’m like…

But when the smut comes and find out my preferred top is a bottom and preferred bottom is a top…

Even more Au’s that I need
  • I died and now i’m a motherfucking ghost but instead of being depressed I decide to start haunting people for the hell of it by doing stupid shit like drawing penises on peoples faces while their asleep and replacing their Oreo cream with toothpaste and you end being the only one that can see me.
  • I’m a motherfucking genie and you rubbed my lamp so congratulations you get three wishes but as it turns out you can’t think think of anything you want so I’m basically stuck with you until you do and you seem hell bent on taking your fucking time……great.
  • I was a little shithead in heaven and as a punishment I now have to be your guardian angel and even though your cute as fuck I still fucking hate it.
  • I decided to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happen to past by and after poking fun at me for a million years you finally decide to try and help me.
  • Were at a club and although your a really shitty dancer your also really fucking adorable so I decide to say hi and you end up accidentally hitting me in the face and fucking hell i think you broke my nose.
  • We both work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I found out that your were the thieving asshole that kept stealing my lunch from the office refrigerator.
  • Even better we both die and decide to spend the rest of eternity pulling stupid pranks on people that we don’t like by doing even dumber shit like replacing their shampoo with pink hair dye and drinking the milk out of the carton and putting it back in their refrigerators almost empty.