Hey there! Easter is almost upon us, and you know what that means…bunnies!
Let’s take a moment to discuss some bunny related facts that will hopefully help deter you from purchasing a rabbit for this holiday.
1.) Domesticated rabbits live from 8-15 years. The Average rabbit lives around 10-12.
2.) The baby bunnies you see in pet stores are usually around 2 months old, so they will be super cute and fluffy and affectionate! Which is exactly what pet stores WANT you to think you will be getting. BUT, this is a trap! Baby Bunny will hit puberty between 5-7 months of age, and will become a cranky, territorial, sexually frustrated TEENAGER.
3.) Teenage bunnies, particularly males, will spray urine on EVERYTHING, including you, your floor, your walls, your bed, and other bunnies. I don’t mean just a little tinkle, I mean literally the wall near your bunny’s housing will be literally coated in a crust of urine. It’s nasty, sticky, and it SMELLS.
4.) Unless you spay/neuter (which usually costs around 150-300 dollars) your bunny will continue to urinate on everything. females will rip their fur out and build nests and are much more likely to develop uterine cancer if they are not spayed.
5.) Rabbits love to rip carpet, chew on furniture, chew on baseboards, pee and poop on the floor(even if they are litter box trained, they will still scatter droppings as a way of saying “this is mine!”)
6.) Baby Bunny will triple or even quadruple in size. The average bunny is around 5 pounds, but some get even heavier than that. Dwarf breeds will average around 1.5 to 3 pounds.
7.) Rabbits are VERY social and get VERY sad and angry and depressed when kept alone in a tiny cage. Bunny should have a LARGE enclosure (NOT A PET STORE CAGE) and should have at least one friend. How would you like to live alone in a closet for your entire life? you would not!
8.) Rabbits require a daily diet of pellet (with NO added cereals, nuts, or candies) unlimited hay (all day every day, yep, it’s expensive) and a daily salad (green leafy vegetables EVERY SINGLE DAY)
9.) Think you can just leave bunny locked in a cage all day when you get bored of him? WRONG! Bunny gets bored, so he spends ALL NIGHT angrily biting and shaking the bars, digging and clawing at the floor, throwing his bowl around and biting his water bottle. He will keep you up all night long and drive you insane! (this also means is house is WAY too small and he needs more toys and room to play!)
10.) Rabbits get sick, they need to see the vet! Rabbit vets are expensive and hard to find. can you afford a rabbit vet?
11.) Are you prepared to clean his litter box and feed him every single day? Can you spare 3-4 hours to sit and supervise him while he has his REQUIRED out-of-cage time? No? Then you should not own a rabbit.
RABBITS ARE NOT FOR EASTER.
A RABBIT IS A HIGH MAINTENANCE, 10-12 YEAR COMMITMENT, WHICH WILL REQUIRE DAILY EXERCISE, A SPECIALIZED DIET, AND REGULAR VET VISITS. ARE YOU PREPARED?
-Well done random comedy
-Like seriously the characters are all amazing.
Here’s some specifics with favorite moments
-CL4p-tr4p: He’s weird as hell and he is my tiny metal son. ( He once ask you to rip the fur off of a giant beast with your Melee weapon so he can have a Mohawk and gives you a shotgun for it)
-Sir Hammerlock: He is a hunter with a cyborg arm and epic mutton-chops mustache combo (He once on trying to rename a species and starts calling them “bonerfarts” cause he’s fucking done with his ideas getting denied)
-Ellie: She is fat as hell and proud of it (There is an entire sidequest about her having you steal hood ornaments making fun of her so she can uses them as decorations)
-Handsome Jack: You all know about this guy (Butt Stallion, A living horse Litteraly made of fucking diamonds.)
-I’m 90% sure a key writing tool used is to take a trope you find stupid and make it not stupid
-When you look past the jokes and cell shading these games can be incredibly fucked up.
- Did I mention some of the references? Like a side quest where you kill the ninja turtles, or a waluigi skin you unlock via a different side quest, The ninja character sometimes says the fresh prince theme via haiku, and also says “ You’ve activated my trap card” when going invisible
-Just play the second one at least.Or watch a play through of it.
So I actually left Hawke in the Fade (damn you Bioware) and I wrote about Fenris finding out here. But I’m not okay with Fenhawke not ending up together, so thank you @inquisitorhierarch - I will gladly write this prompt!
He was walking aimlessly through the mountains, having left the gates of Skyhold hours before. The sun was beginning to set, casting long shadows along the ground where the sparse trees stood. He was dimly aware that he should return to the grounds - the days were short and dark, then, and he hadn’t brought adequate food or clothing with him - but he could barely feel the cold settling into his skin and stiffening his bones.
She was gone. How could she be gone? His woman, his fire, the first and only real thing he had touched since fleeing Danarius all those years ago - how could she be gone?
And so he wandered deeper into the mountains.
He lived. But just barely. He had brought a bow, and so he hunted every so often, skinned a rabbit by a meager fire, ripped the fur from the flesh and the flesh from the bones. Dragged branches of pine needles to rocky outcroppings, sheltered himself from the worst of the snow. Tied a dagger to a long branch and fished, sometimes, treading barefoot into the water and letting his feet grow numb in the water. He sometimes thought he heard Varric’s voice calling him, his name an echo between the trees and rocks. He covered his tracks and did not respond. He lived. But just barely.
His hair and fingernails grew long and sometimes he woke in the dark to nightmares, thinking he heard her screaming for him. His skin glowed in those moments and once he ripped the red sash from his arm and cast it from him, reaching for the sky and screaming like a man broken. He soon stood and tied the sash back around his arm, though - her memory hurt more than any cut he had ever borne in battle, but forgetting her would be worse.
He had never counted the days, but could tell by the changing weather that eight months or so had passed. He lived. But just barely. He hunted, he wandered, he fished, and he lost himself in memories. Her breath hot on his neck. Her fingers clutching him, her teeth on his skin. The cabin in the forest that they had made a home after the flight from Kirkwall. So long ago, now. He had thought about returning, but couldn’t bear to occupy the space without her.
He had been a ghost, lost, before her, and he was lost without her now.
It was night and he was standing in the river when he heard it. His name. Her voice. He shook his head, violently, casting it out. It happened, sometimes - he had even read it in one of the books she had used to teach him to read - in solitude and silence the mind sends voices to occupy itself.
Again. He dropped his spear into the water and reached up to rub his ears, willing the voice away.
A noise in the wood behind him. A bear, perhaps. He saw them occasionally; they paid each other no mind, usually, but he turned anyway.
Standing before him on the riverbank, bow dropping from her hand, skin framed in moonlight. He thought how odd it was that he was seeing her, but he dreamed of her so often that he knew it must be a new strain of his madness.
But that scar…
She had a new scar gashing her left cheek. It had healed badly, pulling her eyelid down, partially obscuring her eye. That scar was new.
The ghost dropped to her knees and reached a hand out.
Fenris. I’ve been looking for weeks.
He frowned and took a step towards her. No part of him believed she could be real.
But he moved forward, slowly, spear long forgotten in the water behind him.
The ghost remained, hand hanging in the air, waiting.
He came near to her and slowly, so slowly, raised his fingers to meet hers.
His knees buckled and he collapsed into the river, lacing his fingers with hers, skin warm against skin even as his legs and chest lost feeling in the water.
Are you here?
She pulled his hand to her throat and laid it against her heartbeat. I’m here. I’ve been looking for you. You should get out of the water. A choking laugh.
He rose and took her other hand, stepped out of the river, pulled her to stand in front of him - their eyes locked briefly - and then suddenly he was touching her everywhere, and she was touching him - mouth against mouth and mouth against skin - and she collapsed into him and sobbed, once, and he knew that she was real - for she showed weakness so rarely that his memories could barely conjure it -
His breath ragged as he pressed his forehead into her neck and they held each other up, but just barely - a thousand questions that needed to be asked, but not now, not now - he clutched her face in his hands and pressed his mouth to hers, hungry, she was alive, gods, she was here -
And soon they sank to the ground, both breathing heavily, pressed together everywhere their bodies could touch. She touched his neck gently, lay her cheek against his, whispered.
A/N: whoo, 2 fics in a month. Well actually, I’ve been done with Part 1 of this story for quite a while now, since last December, perhaps? As we’ve been pretty pressed for stories nowadays, I thought that this would serve as a good buffer post in between our large number of requests. But no worries, we’ll get them up and running soon!
Part 2 has not been touched since January, so I’d expect it to be completed only some time later in the year. Do be patient! I really did enjoy writing this as this is my virgin experience writing a fantasy fic. Do let me know what you think ^^
You’ve been all too familiar with the supernatural for as long as you can remember. Even as a young child, rather than socialising in playgrounds with other human children, your companions consist of three young werewolves, and you spend your childhood years rolling around the mud and grass together under the watchful eyes of your parents and the great Alpha.
There is responsible and meticulous Seungchul, the oldest of the litter of pups and the only pure-born wolf out of the three, being the son of the Alpha. There is the playful Hansol: the Alpha had found him as an infant abandoned in the woods and turned him from a young age. Finally, faithful Mingyu, your older brother. While your brother had taken the oath to join the werewolf ranks as a child, you were spared of the transformation simply because of your gender. You were destined to follow the footsteps of your mother to become the next guardian of the pack, the bridge of communication between the wolves and the human world, as well as a healer and caretaker.
Look, this is like, the THIRD time Microsoft killed my Conker. I’m used to it, these cunts have no idea what they’re doing with Rareware. It’s been like this since late 2002. Accept defeat but still enjoy the retro Rare games. Just stop bothering because clearly, that’s what Microsoft is trying to do. However, these characters do deserve better. MUCH better…
Jumin and Sebastian are in the same room giving you that signature smirk, what do you do?
Oh there daddy, d-daddy didn’t bring the towel
Oh baby, b-baby we slow it down
Took 45 minutes to get all dressed up
We ain’t even gonna make it to this club
Take all of me
I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like
The kind of girl you like, girl you like
Take all of me
I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like
The kinda girl you like
Is right here with me
Handprints and footprints on my glass
Handprints and good grips all on my ass
Oh there daddy, d-daddy now you ripped my fur
Oh baby, b-baby be sweatin’ on my hair