ripe tomato

Golden Ice Trio ft. Katsudon?
  • Victor: "Oh come on, Yura. Just a tiny bite. It's really good! I'm sure you'll like it!"
  • Yuri/Yuuri: "Maybe we shouldn't-"
  • Yurio: "Let me go! Fucking get that spoon away from me! I hope you choke on your stupid katsudon!"
  • Victor: *BLUSHES* "Well, it is pretty big."
  • Yuri/Yuuri: *Blushes like a ripe tomato and faints*
  • Yurio: *realizes* "OH HELL NO."

Special Delivery

The black cat meowed with equal parts annoyance at being discovered and demands, immediate and unknowable.

“And you have wings, too? Ah, that must be how you got in there.” The Netherworld Post carrier gently stroked the cat’s small face and was rewarded with a deep, rumbling purr. “Don’t worry, my little shadow, I will get you home.”

The undead postal worker continued his route, casually chatting with every ghost and monster he came across, asking if any recognized his stowaway. Claws gently and affectionately tickled the small cat, tentacles hugged it lovingly, and nearly everyone had a bit of lunch to share.

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alright but why does no one write colorblind character AUs??? 

(note: i am not colorblind, a friend of mine who is was just telling me about some of the shit that’s happened to him)

  • you accidentally took my bag instead of yours and i don’t know your name so i yelled “YOU IN THE YELLOW SHIRT” but you didn’t respond so i yelled “HEY ASSHOLE” when i finally caught up with you… and apparently your shirt is red??
  • we’re doing a lab in chemistry with the “flame test” where you set an element on fire and we’re supposed to record what color the flame is, but i have no fucking clue what color it’s supposed to be so i’m copying your answers and now you think i’m trying to cheat
  • i thought this tomato was ripe but it’s actually green and you saw me take a bite out of it and whispered “hardcore”
  • if you ask me “what color is this” one more time i’m going to punch you out don’t think i won’t
  • did you know i can’t be a police officer in certain states??? like what the fuck i will fight the system and become a police officer goddamn it, my partner can record that the perp’s shirt was fucking purple
  • you’re too polite to tell me that the colors of my outfit clash horribly but the jokes on you because i actually know what colors they’re supposed to be (because there’s an app for that!) and i just like making your eyes bleed

i don’t want to judge people anymore. tell me, aren’t you tired?

a girl i once hated now holds my hair back as i spit the venom out and traces comfort into my skin. they say she is shallow and i want to fucking shout, have you ever seen a galaxy be anything other than vast?

the boy i got engaged with when we were six and in love now leads political discussions with me, nods fervently when i say that i either have full bodily autonomy or none at all. they say he is pretentious, i say that he just finds different words for things we all feel.

the other brings me tomatoes, ripe and sweet; sweeter than pomegranate because pomegranate means being swallowed in the darkness and these tomatoes feel like collapsing in bed, dirt beneath your fingernails and so much hope in your chest.

the world gives us so many names every day and it does its best to crush us. but your laughter spills across the rooftops and when you smile, Rome has been rebuilt in your eyes. i am tired of these aching hands and my heavy heart.  i am tired and i just want to love.

Rendezvous for Reconcile/Revenge

Request: “Can you do a Kylo/reader where the reader is a spy among Kylo’s ranks, and they end up falling for each other, and somehow her cover is blown and she has to escape and kylo is the one to catch her before she can get away and there’s angsty/fluffy confrontation before he lets her escape because he loves her?”

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Word Count: 2562

Warnings: ANGST!!! HEARTBREAK!!! Also hmmm an ending that is up to interpretation ?!?!?!?!


You felt as if you were a ripe tomato amongst the sea of white bucket helmets. It wasn’t easy to get straight into the role of a First Order commanding officer, but now you had wished you had volunteered to be part of the covert Storm Trooper mission. At least then you could hide the nervous twitch that latched itself onto the bottom of your eye. You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that you had trained for this for so long, and that you couldn’t mess up on the first day. But after a full day of being tormented and teased, pushed to the side and neglected, you felt as if you would implode. No one at the Resistance base had told you how harsh the higher officers would be, and the resent you had already developed for them threatened to boil over and blow your cover. They were always suspicious as well, which didn’t help the situation at all.

You were walking down to the deck that General Hux was currently on, speedily making your way to, thankfully, hand in your last report for the day. That’s when you found yourself hurdling to the ground. Two superior officers had been passing you, and one of them decided it would be hilarious to trip the new girl over. And so, as your foot caught on the other officer’s ankle, you braced yourself for the hard steel floor that was bound to meet your face. But it never did.

You seemed to float in the air for a split second, then be placed gently on the ground by an invisible force. You looked up, both you and the two men shared a perplexed glance. Then you noticed the shadow that came to block the light behind you. You turned quickly, being met by an outstretched, gloved hand.

“Are you alright?” The questioning voice was distorted, but held a natural warmth to it that just barely shone through the monotone coder. You took his hand, letting him pull you to your feet.

“I’m fine.” You huffed. “Thank you.”

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2004 Tenute del Cerro “La Poderina” Brunello di Montalcino DOCG

This is a pretty fierce Brunello for y’all! Leather, wooden box, ripe tomatoes, dark plums, and barn on the nose. Dark plums and cherries, balsamic, button mushrooms, and barn on the palate. Very solid!

4/5 bones



Brunello di Montalcino (Tuscany), ITALY

14.5% abv

Dongo's Furry Adventure (ANON THIS, HOLY FUCK)

“Dongo, I already told you, NO.” Wrought complained with a sigh, attempting futilely to push away the fursuit being stuffed in his meaty hands. Wrought was no stranger to Dongo’s kinks, because honestly it was the only sex Wrought had available. This, though, this was too much. Wrought considered just joining /R/Incels than putting up with Dingo’s nightly needs.

“Put it on, Wroughty-pouty… C'mon.” Dongo purred in his sexiest voice, but it just made him sound like he had a cold. Teasingly, Dongo slid his hand down Wrought’s khaki’s with a sly grin. “Its just a little furry kink. I know you’re not getting it anywhere else. Diedgrips certainly wouldn’t let you in his ass.” Dingo’s fingers slid under Wrought’s Overwatch boxers, tugging at his hotdog.

Wrought blushed like an overly ripe tomato “How do you know?” He sputtered awkwardly, trying to avoid looking at the dragon fursuit and its enormous titties. “I could be buggering Died every night, and you wouldn’t know shit!” He protested, his fuckstick growing hard under Dingo’s deft touch.

“You’ll like being fucked as a titty dragon, I swear Wroughty. You need to try new things, honestly. You’re so phobic of furry culture, you won’t even try getting fucked by a Titty Dragon.” Dingo said with apparent sadness, his face growing stony. “You know what, you’re an Xenophobe. You’re afraid of furry culture, you fucking racist.“

Wrought’s boner had been throbbing when Dingo pulled his hand out of Wrought’s pants, and Wrought wanted, no, needed more. "Dingo, oh fuck you. FIne, I’ll wear the fucking fursuit, this ONE time.” He growled, his plump cheeks flush with embarrasement.

Dingo grinned, his face lit up like a Christmas tree “Thanks Wrought. Now bend over the desk, I’m going to make you SCREAM.”

you people must really hate us


Ollie is a neighborhood dog. A clever one. I like Ollie. He’s always welcome to sneak through the hole he dug under the fence, behind the hydrangea (yes Ollie, I know you don’t just appear from thin air) for a nap on my lounger. There might be a steak bone waiting for you too, as long as you don’t tease the cats (to much).

His owner is not a bad person, quite decent guy actually, but he has strict rules when it comes to what a dog should or should not do.

Ollie understands about rules. Understands that sitting on a sofa or a chair makes his owner angry. Understands that begging for food is frowned upon. Knows that barking for to long will get him in trouble. And so on…

Ollie does not like rules. Because rules are stupid, and he would really like to pee on them, but he does not know how. So, he gingerly collects overly ripe tomatoes, half-rotten apples, dead sparrows, pine cones or sticks (if there’s nothing better around) instead… and he carefully places them in his owner’s shoes.

serafiiina  asked:

What kind of sammich would you make us? Right now, 10:54 EST.

I’m still stuffed from Korean food and peppermint patties I stole from the kids, but I’m always up for this sandwich: crusty baguette, a drizzle of good olive oil on each half, impossibly thin prosciutto slices draped over themselves, crisp arugula leaves, a slice of perfectly ripe tomato, some thick slices of fresh, hand-pulled, milky mozzarella.


Tagine of Meatballs and Eggs 

“Let’s make one of the most famous Moroccan tagines: Tagine of meatballs cooked in a spiced tomato sauce and topped with eggs! 

MEAT INGREDIENTS: 1/4 lb. (150g) Ground beef or lamb (or a combination of the two) - 1/4 of Medium onion, chopped very fine - 1 teaspoons Paprika - ½ teaspoon cumin - ½ teaspoon salt - 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon - ½ teaspoon chili powder (to taste) - 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh cilantro (or parsley). TOMATO SAUCE INGREDIENTS: 2 lbs. (1 kg) fresh, ripe tomatoes - 2 tablespoons Olive oil - 1/4 of Medium onion, very finely chopped - 2 Cloves garlic, finely minced - 1 ½ teaspoon paprika - 1 ½ teaspoon cumin - 1 ½ teaspoon salt (more for taste) - 1/2 teaspoon chili powder - 3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh cilantro. OTHER: 4 large eggs

2010 Robert Stemmler Estate-Grown Carneros Pinot Noir

Feelin’ the alcohol a bit on this Cali Pinot! Fruit really jumps out of the glass at you! Mix of very ripe cherries, very very ripe heirloom tomato flesh, hints of raspberries, blackberries, clove, nutmeg, and sweet spice on nose as the wine opens. Ripe blackberries, cherries, and tomatoes on the palate with that same bouquet of spices. Wine is warm. Fruit is full. Very full, New World version of Pinot, but well done for the style. 

4/5 bones


Pinot Noir

14.5% abv

Carneros (Napa Valley), California, USA