rip roc

“America tried to emasculate the greats, murder Malcolm, gave Cassius the shakes, wait, tell them rumble young man rumble…”

JAY Z has this picture of a dapper Muhammad Ali hanging in his Roc Nation office in New York. There are a number of stylish photos in Jay-Z’s office at the Midtown headquarters of his entertainment firm, Roc Nation. Prominent among them is a black-and-white shot of Muhammad Ali as a young man in a dapper hat and suit, looking more like a vintage Brooks Brothers model than a champion prizefighter.

“That’s why I thought it was such a beautiful picture,” Jay-Z says. “You usually see photos of him with no shirt, just boxing shoes and shorts. But there he is, dressed to the nines.”

“Don’t box me into the corner, I float like a butterfly, sting like Muhammad Ali…”

The Underdark Isn't Fun

So to set the scene, our campaign started with us busting out of a Drow slave prison - 15 of us together - with the help of the bitter guard captain who’d been replaced as the priestess’ right hand man. Within minutes, we’d jumped off a bridge into a little river where slimes waited to eat at my legs, then split up by an injured roc that ripped one member in twain. Great start, all things considered.

A couple of sessions later, and we finally make it to a Kua-toan village thanks to a not-so-reliable drow guide. We’re promptly attacked by rebels, then meet the religious leader of… Blibdoolpoolp ‘the Sea Mother’, who decides to use us as bait against another religious faction who were worshiping 'the Sea Father.’ Well, we destroyed the opposing faction pretty easily, but then the sea father came. Turns out he wasn’t someone we wanted to see, because our wizard clawed at his eyes, and I passed out for 10 hours, waking up with a very aggressive personality flaw.

About 5 days of getting the hell outta there via boat, and we reach a misty lake with a lone boat. In the boat is a lady. She asks for a few of our smaller people, but thinking I can negotiate in under a minute, I cast Friends and decline. We almost make our escape, but the spell fades as we start sailing. She was angry, but we fought her off.
We take her now empty boat, and find a place to rest. I unlock and open her (trapped) chest, spraying acid onto the whole group, which melts our poor myconid, stool. We’re now carrying his remains to his village. Though I did get an enchanted drow sword, the bard got a lute, and the wizard got a spell stone. Can’t say our DM is all that bad.

That very night, our very own svirfneblin twins are asleep. One of them is acting a bit out of it, so I check it out and he snaps at me. I ask the brother to deal with it, but I was bitten.

A couple of days later, and ambush. One of our boats is landlocked. One person gets out to push it back into the water. I decide to get out of my boat and help. Bad idea. The Green Hag (see. Mysterious misty lake and lady in a boat) attacks me from invisibility. Eventually, while she’s shapeshifted to look like me and coloured nicely with faerie fire, we subdue her and she bargains an artifact for her freedom. True to her word at least, she leads us to a faerzress cavern with a portal to a magical mansion. We get attacked by shadow demons, but at least the monk gets a clingy, talking sunblade that gives our many drow disadvantage thanks to sunlight sensitivity. Can’t say our DM is all good.

Finally, we’re a day or two away from our current destination, and during foraging the svirfneblin twins talk to me. They don’t exactly trust me to keep their secret, and tell me that either they kill me, or they turn me (or take my awesome drow shortsword instead). Yeah, turns out they were Were-Rats. Now I’m a were-rat too. And I have another personality flaw (a sort of evil one).