rip my darling

Something I should have said in my tribute post but forgot in my grief–

Robert was one of us.  He had his fanboy moments–one example is him getting excited by the Illya!Ducky reference in “The Meat Puzzle” episode of NCIS.  Another example is his love for Hamlet.  He wore the costume for Halloween, and I’m 99.99999% sure that the Hamlet costume he wore as Napoleon in “The Mother Muffin Affair” of The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. was his own personal Hamlet costume.

It’s going to take a while before I’m over his passing, but I will.  For him.  He was a brave man who left the world better than he found it.  He described his life as one of adventures.

Well, it’s our turn now to make the world better and have adventures.  Rest easy, Robert; we’ll miss you always and you’ll always be in our hearts, but we’ll take it from here.  And so I sign off tonight with a quote from your favorite play–

“Goodnight, Sweet Prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.”

So now I’m trying to cope by trying to think of my favorite Robert moments, and one of the best by far is when he forgets to put his phone on silent during this epic MFU reunion interview with him and David, and all of a sudden, you hear his Magnificent Seven ringtone go off–

(gif by @ksturf)

10

“It’s true. This isn’t a world enveloped in light. And yet…there’s more to that. The world is more than darkness. It isn’t only black.”-Yuki Sohma

My dearest Angel, Today 23 years ago, you were sent away from this hell to cross over to a better life. I’ve always said we never deserved you. You were too good for this world. People like you just don’t exist anymore. I wish you were here now. I know you are watching over us. Putting a light to shine on us through our darkness. I know you are watching over everyone who loves you. Thank you for being a part of our lives even after death. You are immortal in our hearts. I will always love and appreciate you River. Thank you for being my guide. RIP darling.

-Claudia xo

It’s different this time.

It’s so much more painful.

Pat died 9 weeks before I was born.

When Davy Jones and Richard Dawson died in 2012, though I was shocked, I was out of the fandoms at the time–and Davy’s death drew me back in to the Monkees fandom.  Same thing with Casey Kasem in 2014; I wasn’t active in the Scooby Doo fandom at the time.

But Robert passed when I was/still am in the middle of my MFU fandom adventures and this hurts. So. Much.

Morning is here and I’m still feeling the same way; been cycling through the five stages of grief–every time I think I’ve reached Acceptance, I fall back again to Denial and Anger and the whole thing begins again.

I don’t know how long it’ll be before I get over this.  I miss him so much.

And like I know he would want me to be happy and positive and laugh again.  But it’s so hard.

OK, so, rewatching Law of the Plainsman actually helped?  I’ve stopped crying for now and I even managed to smile a few times.

And, of course, that jokey post I made yesterday with the gifs of him and the fire is at 50 notes. *headdesk*

Well, he said in the MFU DVD extras that he loved to laugh and liked to be around people who made him laugh.

Here’s hoping that, wherever he is, he finds that silly post amusing…

Trainer’s Log: Days 114-119

So… it’s been a godawful week.  It didn’t start out that way, though.  Back on Monday, I caught a Pikachu in the wild for the first time ever.  And I was amused and excited, and since Raichu is my most favorite Pokémon, I decided to name the Pikachu (that I’d one day evolve into a Raichu) after my favorite person in the world, Robert Vaughn.  Not the first time I’ve named a Pokémon in relation to Robert–half of the Pokémon I use are named after characters he played–Napoleon the Flareon, Stockwell the Blastoise, Albert the Pidgeot, Chalmers the Lapras, Hayden the Victreebel, Harry the Tauros, Lee and Gelt the Gengars…

But as a crowner to all the awful things that happened this week, yesterday, Robert Vaughn passed away.

I am not over it, and I don’t know how or when I will get over it, but in an attempt at getting my life back to normalcy, I went on a brief Pokémon walk this morning to get the daily catch and Pokéstop bonuses, and then to take the gym near my apartment.  I took the gym easily, and I knew I wanted to put on of my Robert-inspired Pokémon there in his honor.  In the end, I chose Albert the Pidgeot–

Of the Robert-inspired Pokémon, I’ve had Albie the longest; he appeared in my apartment as a Pidgey my first week of playing the game back in July, and I caught him and powered him up as I leveled up.  Before I started getting more powerful Pokémon, Albie carried my team and took gyms left and right for Mystic.  As I got other Pokémon, he began to be a bit outclassed, and I started using him less, but I knew that, today of all days, it was his turn to return to the limelight.

I’m also currently walking the Pikachu I caught this week; I’m hoping to get enough candies to evolve him by Robert’s birthday on the 22nd.

So yes, I’m still very sad and upset, but I’m going to try to carry on.