Contrary to popular belief, A and B were not close at all. Rather, B avoided A like the plague, going out of his way to prevent any and all contact with the other. He would wait for A to show up at classes and then sit as far away as possible, give him the creepiest looks he knew how to give, and pretend to be sick or deranged when A got close to him. He downright refused to be around A or be his friend on more than one occasion.
These actions were not mean-spirited, though. Having just endured the death of his parents, both of which he had been fearfully anticipating for years, he was distraught when he discovered one of the kids at the orphanage was going to die young. He calculated, as he always did, and decided there was a ninety-eight percent chance A would die during B’s lifetime, unless some freak accident took him first. He acted out of fear and self-preservation when he pushed A away and refused to befriend him.
After A killed himself, B couldn’t help but feel it was partly his fault, but at the same time, he couldn’t find it in himself to regret protecting his emotions and sanity from the torture of watching another loved one’s time run out.
At some point in my career I felt like doing way too much. I felt like I have been so commercially successful…it wasn’t enough. It’s something really stressful…about coming to keep up with that. And something really…crippling. You can’t express yourself. I don’t want to have to sing about the same thing for ten more years. You can’t grow. I wanna be able to sing about how much I hate myself that day, if that’s how I feel and I felt like it was time for me to set up my future. So I set a goal. And my goal was…independence.