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High school AUs based on my junior year

• “‘Be nice to your seat partner. They might just be your future spouse!’ the teacher says, and you turn to me and wink. Are you even real??” au

• “I just sent you the link to the Hamilton soundtrack and it’s the night before our APUSH test but we’re both too busy crying about the musical to care” au

• "You live two houses down from me and I just discovered that today because we’re meeting for a group project” au

• "You’re offering to give me a kiss if I buy your shitty fundraiser popcorn? Well, in that case…” au

• "it’s raining and I offered you my umbrella but you just shrugged and pulled out a tarp from your backpack, and now you’re wearing it like a cape to keep your backpack dry” au

• "I mean I’ve never thought about it, but I guess ‘lugubrious’ sounds like a phallic-shaped word” au

• "I walked past you sleeping on the ground during lunchtime, dude are you okay” au

• "It’s 3 am the night before our project is due and you’re still online, I guess you procrastinated/still are procrastinating on yours too” au

• "I’m usually excellent at debates but you leave me tongue-tied and you don’t have to be so damn smug about it” au

• "I’m scrolling through all the 'does s/he like me’ quizzes that the Internet has to offer, since when did I revert to being a 12-year-old” au

• "We keep telling each other pick up lines and I thought this was a funny game, but it turns out you were serious?? oh” au

• "You’re unfairly good at everything, but I’m strong enough to carry you bride-style and this for some reason renders you speechless” au

Dear pornblogs who insists on following me

hope u enjoy my shitposting of memes and gay otps

me: I’m writing this fic for Myself, because I want to and it’ll make me happy. Psh I don’t care if anybody likes it or not because it ain’t for them.

also me: *times things perfectly to have the highest number of people read it the instant it is posted* *advertises it on tumblr and twitter and various other social media* Come read my fic and shower me with praise so I feel validated in failing two finals and a project because I spent all my study and prep time writing this! Tell me I did good!

also me when the reception is (inevitably) not as warm as expected: As God as my witness, I will never write again. Let my soul float away from this mortal coil, for it is not worthy.