I’m tired.” she said. “I’m tired of pretending to feel empty about everything. I’m tired of laughing at people when they assumed that I don’t feel anything at all. Because of course, I feel something. I almost feel everything that it suffocates my whole being. I feel it when someone slowly losing interest in me as if they were clouds—fading in the sky during warm summer days. As if they were colors melting their brightest shades. I feel my heart breaking when someone continuously pointing out my mistakes that it erased all the right things I’ve ever done in my whole life. As if everything went blank, and I need to start doing something again that will make them proud. I feel people’s words touching what’s deep within me. Especially when they were the people who were important to me. Especially when they were the people who I always expected to understand the real me.” she looked down at her hands catching her breath heavily. She wasn’t used on opening up her heart to someone. She wasn’t used on telling everything that’s on her mind. Yet she knew, this was the best thing she needed to do. That this can ease the burdens she’s been lifting up for too long. She sighed slowly, then she said, “I just want you to know, that even if people tried to pretend that there’s a black hole inside of them, they will always end up touching their chests and feel their heart beating.
— ma.c.a // Can you really see me?