right throughs right words right action

Scenario...

“Hey, maybe you should write other characters besides Junkrat?” Maybe you should shut your damn cake hole. You can always get some junkboy fluff here. Always.

He doesn’t really think anything of it at first, it’s part of the territory as far as he’s concerned, injury, death, loss of limb… So, when his partner loses part of their leg he doesn’t say too much or do much more than just be there for them, in the most practical sense. Helps them to get around, get them to their sessions with Mercy, makes a joke about spare cyborg parts of Genji’s laying around that maybe they’ll get to use. It takes Roadhog mentioning something for him to really notice that they’re not handling this as well as he thought they were. It’s not that he’s insensitive (well, okay, he knows he can be insensitive but this time he was actually making an effort not to be) its more so that, coming from where they do, out in that wasteland where everything is usually so cut and dry, often literally fighting tooth and nail just to get by, he figured they’d be used to stuff like this, again it takes Roadhog to tell him that no one is ever just “used to” losing a limb. He’s not sure how to breach the subject initially, feels too awkward, feels like he fucked up, and maybe if this wasn’t more about his partner, there’d be a part of him that would allow himself to wallow with that train of thought, dive right on into that self pity party. He manages a few days later, he’s just helped them back to their quarters after an appointment with Mercy and he notices the way they rub small, careful circles above their prosthetic, he doesn’t know why he didn’t notice it before, he of all people should understand that discomfort. He tries to crack a joke as he walks over and sits himself next to them, but even he knows it lacks his usual enthusiasm, so he changes tactics, goes with something easy to talk about and makes some crass comment about Hanzo, that gets a laugh and he’s slightly relieved. Words really aren’t his thing, he’s never been good with that touchy feely crap, so he seriously hopes that the whole actions speak louder than words bullshit works right now as his hands are working careful motions around their injury, going through the same actions that are second nature to him now whenever he feels that dull ache where his forearm or leg used to be, thinks he can do this because it’s what they need. He figures he’s doing something right when they lean their head back against the wall, eyes closed and their face much more relaxed, he really figures he’s on the right track when they make some comment about Lucio and frogs and he laughs partly because, well, it is funny and also because it’s the first time they’ve spoken this normally (or what’s normal for them) since the accident.

okay so one thing that helped me figure my way out through the emotional abuse was realizing when people were talking about things they had no authority to talk about, most abusive people will grant themselves the authority to declare conclusions with no actual information and no right to speak about it, yet they will roar with confidence that will make it hard for anyone to believe they might be wrong

For instance, a person decides that you’re faking something. This is something they cannot possibly have authority to talk about because they’re not living in your body, not experiencing your emotions, they can’t possibly know this, yet they claim they do, is it possible that they’re right? No, they’re simply overstepping what they have the right to talk about and their claim doesn’t hold any weight to it because it’s not being backed up with actual knowledge or experience. 

A person tells you that you’re incapable, or stupid, or that you always do everything wrong. Is this person aware of your actual intelligence, of every thought that went through your mind, of everything you ever did and do they have a genuine grip on reality of what’s capable, smart and correct? Highly unlikely, people who throw these words around will do it only to get a go at someone’s feelings, another person can’t have the authority to decide who you are, and if your actions are right or wrong, they’re overstepping and acting extremely disrespectful and entitled to take your right to decide your identity, they cannot have this right, you are the only person who is able to evaluate your intelligence, not because you’re the smartest but because you are the only one who has the actual information on it. 

A person assumes you’re doing something wrong when they don’t actually know what you’re doing, how much you know about it, how much have you done or what are your intentions, they still try to place the doubt within you that you’re making a mistake, their reasoning “because it’s you”. They want to make you insecure to make themselves feel better. If they dare to overstep their authority so far to make assumptions with zero information, they’re really talking shit and their words are absolutely meaningless and have nothing to do with you or your situation, but they are revealing that you’re dealing with a person who doesn’t respect you at all. 

Especially when a person is talking as if their words are all-time truths, things like “people like you never succeed” “people who do this are idiots” “all people should do this or that thing” “we all have to think like this” and then base their entire attack on this personal assumption of theirs that has usually nothing to do with the truth or actual state of things, if asked more about it they’ll usually have nothing to back it up with but “it’s the truth!!” as if them declaring this makes it so.

I think good replies to this kind of personal attacks are “You don’t get to decide.” “That is not your call.” “Your opinion doesn’t matter.” “You should learn not to assume.” even if you just say it inside your mind it might help you see more clearly that no, they’re not right about you, they’re overstepping and shit talking with the sole purpose of hurting you, they’re not telling you the truth about you or well-intentioned warning, they’re inducing anxiety, usually with a malignant purpose, and their words are as far from truth as possible as they’re talking in their self interest to feel superior compared to you.

Better Than Yourself

Pairing: Dean x reader

Prompt: Better Than Yourself - Lucas Graham

For my fic I used snippets of the song’s lyrics. The parts that I’ve used will be in italics and can sometimes be changed a little to fit the story better.

Words: 2600ish (it got a little bit carried away… oops!)

Warnings: a little angsty maybe

A/N: This is my entry for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing SPN Days Off Challenge! Hope you enjoy and let me know what you guys think of it!

Tagging: @supernatural-jackles @d-s-winchester @torn-and-frayed @aprofoundbondwithdean@mrswhozeewhatsis @icecream-and-gadreel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing@mysupernaturalfics @ezauraemmaline @missybaconator @pada-ackles-reads @ackleslaugh @that-weirdo-boy @iridianuniverse @shortandlongstories@sis-tafics @supermoonpanda @ellen-reincarnated1967 @mrsjohnsmith@littlegreenplasticsoldier @kittenofdoomage @thinkwritexpress @blushingsamgirl @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @leviathanslovedick @beriala @bradburydiary
(If you don’t want to be tagged, just let me know. I used @mrswhozeewhatsis tagging spreadsheet for most of the tags)

Originally posted by hunterchesters

Keep reading

/ Weeks 5-7: Body Language Overview

Congratulations! You are officially done with the first month of this training program. Have you noticed improvement in your observational skills? 

Whoa, hold up, what are you even talking about? 

Well, if you don’t know what the training program is, click here for more information, and here for the overview on Weeks 1-4. I hope you’ll join us! 

If the training did not go as well as you expected, don’t get discouraged- chances are that you are more observational now than you were a month ago, and if so, you have fulfilled the main objective. 

If you followed the program religiously, I’m guessing you are ridiculously better now than you were at the beginning, and I applaud you for your dedication! You are well on your way to becoming an astute observer. 

In either case, you now have a choice: repeat the first month, and continue to work on observation, or start our next major part. To be perfectly honest, you may find it beneficial to repeat the observation portion, as it is so so so important. However, also know that some observational exercises will be incorporated as we move forward, and of course you can come back to Weeks 1-4 whenever your heart desires. 

Before we move forward, if you have any comments about how the last month went for you, or any suggestions on what we can do to improve the program, please don’t hesitate to contact us! 

Alright, so the next three weeks are going to be about 

don’t underestimate how long I’ve been waiting to use that. 

The focus on this part of the program is strictly to observe and analyze the behavior of other people. This means we will be looking at how they are acting, not what they are wearing or whose house they are in. Body language is one of the most important skills to have, as it is estimated that up to 93% of communication does not rely on the spoken word (this statistic has been in controversy in it’s creation, and if you would like to know more about where it comes from and why it is possibly misused, see the source at the bottom of this post). 

Disclaimer: Yes, I know the difference between nonverbal communication (which includes tone, voice, etc) and body language. This section will cover body language only as that is easier to observe and deduce from at a distance. 

/ 9 Rules You Must Follow 

1. Observe people!

For this to work, you will have to look at people. Do it from a distance. Do it up close. Observe, observe, observe.

2. Observe behavior in context

Is it cold outside? Is it crowded? What’s the mood of the place? All of these factors must be taken into consideration when looking at behavior. If a person is nervous in a job interview, it is understandable. If they are nervous when talking to their significant other of 20 years, it can indicate something more going on. 

3. Learn universal behavior

More on this in another post, but learning behavior that can be observed in most people is a good foundation to start. Especially when observing from a distance, or observing someone you don’t know. Much of our exercises will be focused on this aspect. 

4. Recognize and decode idiosyncratic behavior

This is essentially the opposite of universal behavior. It is behavior that is unique to a person and easier to recognize the longer you know a person. Think nervous tics. 

5. Establish a baseline

Baselines will be covered in another post, but it the normal behavior for a person. If a person is normally fidgety and jumpy, this is their baseline. If they are normally calm and collected, that is their baseline. Kapeesh? 

6. Watch for clusters

This is an important one. No single movement by itself means enough to deduce from. You must look for clusters of behavior (generally three that indicate the same emotion) to be confident in your hypothesis. The more, the better. 

7. Look for changes

Another very significant one. Changes in body language indicate changes in emotion; therefore you must look out for when someone’s body language changes, and then try to find out why. 

8. Detect false/ misleading cues

More on this later, but as you become a better and better observer, you will need to learn how to know when someone is being misleading with their body language. This will only come with practice, and needs to be handled carefully, as it is very difficult to tell when someone is lying. 

9. Distinguish comfort from discomfort

The two broadest categories are comfort and discomfort. First, learn cues that will tell you which of the two a person is feeling. From there, you can narrow down further and analyze their situation with more clarity. 

/ Reference Chart

This will be a word document I put together. I suggest you all print out, take with you and use until you until you memorize cues. It is available here

Here, you can also access amateur-deductions original posts about body language, which I suggest you read. There is only one right now, but more will be added when I get to them as the course progresses. 

/ Having Trouble?

Read through the body language posts referenced above. 

Read them again.

Read body language books.

Go out and observe people.

Observe your friends and, based on how they act afterwards, determine if you were right (or ask them). 

Ask yourself questions. 

How close are these people based on their body language?

What signals does this person exhibit?

Based on their signals, what can I tell about their state of mind?

Is this person comfortable/ uncomfortable right now?

Is there any one person who is exhibiting behavior different than everyone else in this situation?

Why?

Make up questions like these to keep yourself engaged and alert. 

/ Sources Used

There’s a lot, I’ll keep adding as I remember them. 

  • What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro (Book)
  • The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara and Allen Pease (Book)
  • Ellipsis Behavior Laboratories (Website)
  • Six Universal Expressions (Web Article) 
  • Body Language in the Workplace by Barbara and Allen Pease
  • The 7% Rule by Philip Yaffe (Web Article)

/ Above All…

Remember that Sherlock Holmes was not born with the ultimate knowledge on how to deduce. He had to learn it, through years of practice. With dedication and patience, you can too.

-L.K. 

The Importance of IntegrityBy: Dorothy I once read somewhere, “The single most important quality you can ever develop that will enhance every part of your life is the value of integrity. Integrity is the core quality of a happy and successful life.” Integrity is a value, just like patience and kindness, but it’s just that much harder for us to have. It is the core of all we say and do, and it’s non-negotiable.

Integrity is what builds the strong foundation of one’s character. To be completely honest with others, first you have to be honest with yourself. If you are completely honest with yourself you will realize that everything you do is a statement of who you are. Saint Augustine once said, “Attract them by the way you live.” Do not live to attract them, but attract them with the way you live. It’s easy for anyone to make a promise, keeping it is the real task. Each time you follow through with a promise, that act of integrity, you are strengthening you character.

In this world, too often people become obsessed with becoming successful. They try to find shortcuts and tricks to get there way faster. This dishonesty only provides instant gratification, the satisfaction will never last. When you do something with integrity, it should be because you know it’s right, not because you are waiting for affirmations. Do what is right and just let whatever consequences may happen follow. Success will come and go, but integrity is something that will stick with you forever.

Living a life of integrity brings confidence and trust into your life. We don’t need to question ourselves anymore. Life becomes simple. You are able to build stronger relationships because people are able to trust you, which is one of the most important qualities of a good, healthy, relationship.

These are couple quotes I found about integrity that made an impact on me. I hope as you read these you are reminded about what’s important in life. Don’t get lost in the small details. Keep in perspective who you are and what you believe in. Don’t lose yourself. Don’t compromise yourself and don’t compromise your integrity by looking for outward approval or success.

“Your reputation and integrity are everything. Follow through on what you say you’re going to do. Your credibility can only be built over time, and it is built from the history of your words and actions.” — Maria Razumich-Zec

“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” — Mark Twain

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller

“Keep true, never be ashamed of doing right; decide on what you think is right and stick to it.”
— George Eliot

Building integrity takes years, but it only takes a second to lose it. Be honest. Be true to yourself. Strengthen your character. If you live this way, what you’ve been looking for will be attracted into your life because you are living it and you are longer looking for it. Let your actions speak for what you believe in.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

Photographer: Kiki

ALBUM REVIEW: Franz Ferdinand, Right Thoughts, Right Words, Right Action

It may be an easy joke to make, but everything about the latest Franz Ferdinand album – the first since 2009 – is right. In this day and age, it’s difficult for a garage band to come back swinging for record number four, but these guys have done it. ‘Right Thoughts’ straddles the line between an uber-successful jam session and a carefully crafted piece of art without a hair out of place. In this case, the latter is more likely, as the band has been working on this set of songs since 2010. They even collaborated with polar opposites like Hot Chip in an attempt to push the envelope after feeling “creatively knackered.” Whatever they did, it worked. We haven’t heard anything groove quite like this in a long while.

Kapranos & co. wear many different hats for ‘Right Thoughts’. Sounds range from the ‘Right Back Where We Started’-esque disco of ‘Love Illumination’ to the ’96 Tears’ organ on ‘Treason! Animals.’ to the perfectly replicated 60s pop of ‘Fresh Strawberries’. Diverse as the styles may be, every song has an inescapable rhythm that, frankly, defies logic. And it just wouldn’t be Franz Ferdinand without Kapranos’ ridiculously suave and grandiose voice. Their cool points are approximately quadrupled through the heavily reverbed and overlapping vocals. The guitar is perfectly brash, trashy, and distorted. And don’t get us STARTED on their Scottish accents.

Bottom line: Franz Ferdinand are known as the cream of the British post-punk-garage-rock-whatever crop for good reason; listen to ‘Right Thoughts’ and you’ll get why. Everything they do is deliberate and delicious. Try not to walk with swagger when you listen to this beast.

Performing live at The Music Center at Strathmore on October 17th.

-Kelsey Butterworth

Content

Every guy you’ve ever dated had torn your heart right out of your chest and crushed it right in front of you. You were surprised you still succumbed to the pressure society had made of a perfect relationship—one in which couldn’t exist even with the most unflawed of people. Michael, you’re best friend for your entire life, had seen it all, been through it all with you. Your terrible break-ups, those times when you thought your life was over because you would never find the right person to spend it with. The reoccurring sequence was just a minor obstacle in your life plan, one in which wasn’t going by schedule.

Keep reading

Choices and Chances

I’ve had some Anons voicing their concern that if Rick pursues something with ole girl that anything that happens after that with Michonne will make her seem like his second choice. That will not be the case.

Michonne is not going to be Rick’s second choice because she isn’t in competition for his affections. As of right now, Michonne isn’t a choice for Rick and Rick isn’t a choice for Michonne.

We have to remember that we are viewing the situation in a way that Rick and Michonne aren’t. Viewers realize that something is there between them while I don’t think Rick and Michonne are aware of that “something else” yet. Viewers have been privy to all those pivotal moments that have brought them so close that they automatically and unknowingly act as a couple in every sense except romantically. Viewers have had a distinct advantage over Rick and Michonne in this situation…time and perspective. We’ve had the luxury of viewing the growth of their relationship over time and from a distance. Viewers have been able to reflect on all the moments they’ve shared thus far and see how each moment has built upon the last to create the foundation for Rick and Michonne’s relationship.

But for Rick and Michonne it really is a situation of not being able to see the forest for the trees. They are not viewing themselves from the outside. They are in the midst of everything. They haven’t had the time to really reflect on how far they’ve come and how much their relationship has truly changed. They haven’t had the time to go as deeply into it as viewers have. Their relationship just is for them. They’ve spent their time surviving and dealing with trauma. They are still trying to survive and deal with trauma. That’s why Rick may pursue something with ole girl. He still isn’t himself. He’s still operating under the guiding influence of trauma. We’ve seen evidence of that since last season. It is still being highlighted this season for a reason. Michonne’s looks of concern about Rick’s behavior are being highlighted for a reason. Rick is still “out there” and hasn’t come back to who he truly is. He won’t come back to who he truly is until after some events still to come.

It is in the aftermath of the herd, ole girl’s death (facilitated by Rick), Ron’s death (by Michonne’s sword according to speculation), and Carl’s injury that Rick and Michonne will both have something that they haven’t had in a very long while…time to reflect, time to think, time to analyze, and time just with each other and for each other. I believe that quiet time after the events of the herd is when Rick and Michonne will finally be able to sit down with each other and truly open up about what they’ve been through, what they fear, and what they hope for the future. I believe it is during that time that they will open their eyes to what has been in front of them the entire time…each other.

Michonne’s realization process started with David and Betsy’s story. But, again, things started happening quickly after that and she didn’t really much time to really reflect on his words beyond recognizing herself (and possibly beginning to recognize Rick) in his story. Rick, as we’ve seen illustrated time and again, isn’t in the right frame of mind to think through much of anything right now. All of his present actions, including the possibility of pursuing something with ole girl, are colored by past trauma that he hasn’t had the time or inclination to confront. Rick Grimes isn’t himself right now and is not ready for a relationship with anyone, especially not with Michonne.

Viewers have to give Rick and Michonne time to catch up to where we already are. We have to give them time to see and to realize what we’ve known for a while now…they are each other’s second chance and first choice… they are the only choice for each other that makes sense.  I think things are going to follow the comic somewhat (but at a faster pace) and, in the aftermath of the Big Chop and Carl’s injury, Rick and Michonne will grow even closer. I think they will kiss and Rick will realize his feelings for Michonne but be afraid to act on them for fear of losing her because, in his mind, he always loses those he cares about. But I think David’s words to Michonne will resonate once again and we may get some rendition of comic Andrea’s words to Rick: “You and I—more than any other couple here, have a chance of making it work. After all we’ve lived through together—all we’ve lost…I can’t think of two people as uniquely compatible as the two of us.  We know this world…we know how to survive…” That will not be Michonne begging Rick for a chance. That will be Michonne recognizing what the show has made sure viewers have known about Rick and Michonne for a while now. That will be Michonne voicing what they both feel but Rick is just too afraid to say. That will be Michonne, once again, being that guiding force that Rick needs in his life. I believe there will be a moment on the show, as in the comics, when Rick finally lets his hope for the future outweigh his fear of it. Then Rick will be closer to the Rick he once was. Then he’ll truly be ready to lead the ASZ. Then he’ll truly be ready for a relationship with Michonne.

yukey  asked:

Hey Lazy Yogi! Thanks so much for your blog. I've been noticing more recently that I have a pretty strong need to control things in my life. It's like an impulse because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't have control, but the process only stresses me out. Another aspect is that I tend to think in terms of objective rights and wrongs about different things, and often I think I'm doing things wrong. Which also makes me stressed. I know my life is good and I should be more happy though.

The first thing to contemplate for yourself: Do you have control, even when you think you do? Did you control your birth, the very foundation of this so-called existence? 

The mind wants control because the mind lives in a state of fear, which can manifest in terms of outright panic or just a general sense of anxiety. Because you identify with the mind, mistaking its voice to be yours, you think that you fear and you desire to control. 

While you can practice control as much as you wish, or practice ‘letting go’ of control, it may be more expedient to emerge from mind-identification. Then the notion of control becomes a non-issue. A tree does not control the way it grows and yet is there utter chaos? Harmony has no basis in control or lack thereof.

Trusting an objective thought of right and wrong is less useful than it may seem, as there is no such thing as an objective situation. What is ‘wrong’ in one situation may be ‘right’ in other. 

Even so, you are not really even using the thoughts of right and wrong to act intelligently. You are simply using them as a means to judge yourself through action. Actions may be useful or useless, compassionate or confused, but right and wrong are merely versions of pleasure and pain for the ego. 

Whether we think life is good or bad, words and thoughts do no real service in making this clear. There is a difference between the thing we call ‘life’ and the reality of being alive. If we try to judge existence from the outside-in, we see a life. Good or bad is simply at the mercy of circumstance. But when we awaken to existence from the inside, there is just aliveness

Come to know yourself as that aliveness for yourself. Then see if there is an inclination to judge or feel that things need be different. 

A book helpful for recognizing the causes of and emergence from stress is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. 

Namaste :)