a small guide to apologizing sincerely, the right way.
apologizing for wronging someone can be really hard and sometimes we might not know how to go about it, so here’s a little guide I put together that can hopefully give some helpful tips and pointers in the right direction.
1. Acknowledge what you did was wrong, why it was wrong, and incorporate that into your apology. Example: “What I did wasn’t right and I hurt you, and that wasn’t ok. I’m sorry.”
2. As they say: “Actions speak louder than words.” Don’t say your sorry and then go and repeat your harmful actions all over again. It shows that your apology wasn’t sincere and next time they probably won’t forgive you (rightfully so). Show them you’re truly sorry by working to avoid repeating the same bad action again.
3. Own up to your mistakes. Yes, you’re not perfect and we make mistakes. We have bad days, we snap at people we don’t mean to or lose our temper in a heated argument and say things we don’t mean. However, don’t blame your actions on your mental illness, on someone else, or just try to pass the blame on to anything but yourself. Take responsibility for your actions.
4. Understand that they are never obligated to forgive you. This is really important. If you apologize and throw a fit when they choose not to forgive you, it shows that your apology was not sincere to begin with, since you were only apologizing because you wanted their forgiveness, not because you realize you made a mistake and hurt them. If someone doesn’t forgive you, it doesn’t mean you can’t move on. You’ll be ok. Learn from it and grow from it, and let it go.