<b>Delirious:</b> I miss Evan.<p/><b>Vanoss:</b> I'm right here, dude.<p/><b>Delirious:</b> Not you Evan, my pet Evan.<p/><b>Vanoss:</b> You got a pet... And named it Evan?<p/><b>Delirious:</b> Yeah!<p/><b>Vanoss:</b> is he an owl?<p/><b>Delirious:</b> [gasp] how'd you know??<p/></p>
Like Fireworks (Evan Hansen x Reader) (SMUT & Dom!Evan)
The sequel to You’re Cute When You Blush
Requested by Anon
Well this was not how you’re day was supposed to go at all.
You were Supposed to get ready for your Uncles 4th of July party, and than by the time you were done getting ready Evan would show up and help you decorate.
BUT half way through getting ready Evan texted you,
I can’t make it. I’m so so sorrry
What why not, Evan what happened?
Nothinggg I juat cant
I’m coming over
You arrived at Evans and found him curled up on his bathroom floor shaking and crying.
“Holy shit! Evan hey, hey, hey what’s wrong?” You cooed pulling him into your arms, you smoothed down his hair and rubbed his back.
He practiced some deep breathing and started, “I-I just, what if, and and and!” He snapped and started sobbing and shaking.
“Evan relax, hey it’s just us, it’s just me, I would never say or do anything to hurt you, breathe Ev,” you whipped the tears from his cheeks and kissed the tip of his nose. He cracked a wet smile and blushed, he realized that you two were on his bathroom floor and he was rather indecent, in just his boxers.
“W-what if your, your family doesn’t like me?” He refused to meet your eye.
“Evan I’m sure they will love you, my mom already does, she sees how happy you make me and is so excited to me you. My dad and uncle might be a bit, um, unsavory at first but it’s only because they’re jerks and want to scare you. They will love you, trust me,” you helped him stand up and gave him some toilet paper as a tissue.
“O-okay, well um I guess I should shower than, heh I’m if you want to wait we can go together, or you can leave now that’s fine I’m to going to dice you to stay here it you don’t want to but I was ju-”
“Of course I’m staying! I’ll be in your room!” You kissed his nose and left him in the bathroom.
“Do I look okay, want to look respectable but not like a dick? Like tie or no tie?” Evan asked you from his closet, the stress evident on his face.
“No tie, the polo is fine, and the red sneakers, respectable but patriotic!” He pulled on his sneakers and took you hand, leading you out of the house.
You parents loved Evan, your mom called him sweetie and when he commented on how much he loves her plants she cuts him off some so he can grow on too. Your dad tried to scare him but Evan actually started to shake and he stopped, he remembered you telling him about his anxiety, and he talks about colleges and music. You Uncle was already buzzed when you guys got there so he was super accepting, and called Evan “Bright Young Man!”
The party started about an hour ago and you and Evan were the only teens there, and you were bored as shit.
“What are you kids drinking? Here has some wine coolers, the adults don’t feckin wantem,” your Uncle drunkenly handed you and Evan some alcohol. You started to drink yours and Evan just stared at his like it was a baby or a priceless glass thing.
“Evan it’s a fruity drink. It won’t kill you,” you giggled.
“I’ve never had an alcohol! What if I’m like an angry drunk or something!” Evan half shouted, but opened the bottle anyway.
“Okay you’re not going to get drunk and even if you did I don’t think you’re an angry one,” you said knocking your drink against his.
He tentatively took a sip, but seemed to enjoy it.
The party was in full swing, there was a fire, dinner was served, and there were fire works and sparklers going off.
“Why don’t, weeee get out of here?” Evan whispered into your ear. You were taken aback, where did this Evan come from?
“You look so fucking sexy right now, and I just keep focusing on your lips around that bottle, and I think they’d look better wrapped around, my cock,” he growls into your ear, his hand gripping your waist tightly. A familiar heat formed between your legs.
“Hey mom I’m gonna walk Evan home, I’ll be back soon!” You said you you mom before walking away from the fire.
“Ok sweetie, use protection and be safe. Feel free to stay the night!” Your mom yelled back, seeing right through your lie.
You drove home and Evan’s hand was squeezing your thigh the whole way. Heidi was already gone for Law school and wouldn’t be home till tomorrow morning.
“God I just want to fuck you right here,” Evan said pulling you ass to his hips, you were trying to take your shoes off but he had other plans.
“Evan, we’re in your kitchen surrounded by photos of you as a baby, not exactly a sexy scene,” you chortled, pushing him off your and leading him to his bed room.
He grabbed you from behind and started kissing your neck, one hand sliding up to your breasts and the other dropping down to your ass. Your eyes fluttered shut and you leaned into his touch, you could feel his excitement on your back.
“Fuck you’re so gorgeous, how did I get so lucky?” Evan asked as his hand slid under your shirt, you let him take it off, he rested his thumbs inside your waist band.
“E-Ev,” you whined as his kisses trailed down your Collar bones.
“I love it when you moan my name,” he whispered into your skin, you tuned around to face him.
“If you love it so much why don’t you make me?” You asked, if Evan was going to be so dominant you wondered how far you could push him, or how far he could push you?
“Oh trust me darling. That was the plan this whole time,” he said before pulling you roughly into a kiss, one hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your hair. You slid your hands underneath his polo and slid it off his body, feeling his smooth skin beneath. As you dragged your nails up his ribs you felt the goosebumps rise to meet them, he may be acting differently but his body was reacting the same as it always did. His shirt fell to the floor and your shorts and his pants were quick to follow, they pooled at your ankles, and Evan lifted you out of them. You wrapped your legs around him, he let out a deep laugh and dropped you down so your core was pressing his length into his stomach.
“Wow, your this wet? All for me?” You whimper in response, he lays you out onto the bed, you took off your bra, his confidence broke for a moment. He took you in, admiring how amazing you look almost naked, on his bed, and completely ready for him. You sat up and looked at him curiously, was he nervous?
“Evan are you okay?”
“Blow me,” he said locking eyes with you, his face devoid of humor or worry. You nodded and slid off the bed on to your knees, taking off his boxers you’re met with his impressive hard-on. You pressed your lips against his tip and slowly let it fill your mouth, tasting his pre-cum. You grabbed the base and bobbed your head, taking as much of him as you could.
“(Y/n) oh my god, shit you look so pretty, oh god,” Evan tangled his hands in your hair and every so often his hips bucked to you. You cupped his balls in your other hands and the moment they made contact Evan’s hips thrust quick and hard, making you choke and gag hard.
“Oh shit, babe are you ok. Oh NONONO you look like you’re going to cry. Shit baby I’m sorry,” Evan dropped to his knees and cupped your face gently, he kissed your nose and tucked your hair behind your ear.
“I know how you can make me feel better,” you whispered.
“Ok anything!” He said worry lacing his words.
“Fuck me, hard,” you whispered back, looking up at him with lust filled eyes. He picked you up off the floor and tossed you onto the bed. He planted a kiss on your ankle and placed more up your leg, once he reached your thigh he nuzzled his face into the skin.
“God you’re so fucking amazing,” he kissed your thigh that buried his face in your cunt, your hands gripped his hair tightly. He flicked his tongue against your clit and slid two fingers into you, curling them against your G-Spot.
“F-fuck Evan. Shit Evan!” You practically screamed in pleasure. “E-Ev I sssaid fuck me!” As much as you enjoyed him eating you out, you needed more, you needed him.
“Someone is impatient this evening,” he scolded, but the brought his face up to meet yours. As he kissed you, you could taste your self on him, it was weird but not bad. He kissed your mouth than moved down to the side of your neck, leaving hicky after hicky, across your neck, down your collar bones, and on your boobs, he took your nipple in his mouth and bit down. You pressed you hands to his chest, you needed him now. He straddled you and reached over to your beside table, taking out a condom and rolling it down his member.
“You ready?” He asked lining himself up.
“Yes, and remember I said hard,”
“Oh trust me doll, I wouldn’t dream of forgetting,” he growled and slammed into you, you screamed and instantly fell into moans. He thrusted into you hard, one hand on your breast and the other holding tightly to your hip.
“H-h-HARDER!” You yelled, still seeing how far you can push him. He stopped abruptly and pulled your leg over his shoulder, one hand holding your hip over your thigh, and the other holding your other hip under your thigh. He thrusted into you with more force than he initially thought possible, than he pulled and pushed your hips to meet his, he hit your G-Spot so hard your entire body was covered in goosebumps.
“Oh fuck Evan, oh oh oh god!” You were moaning the sheets knotted up in your fingers, you felt a scream bubbling up in your throat. “EVAN FUCK OH FUCKFUCKFUCK!”
“You like that baby girl?” He asked between labored breaths, you could see his chest heaving.
“Y-yes Daddy!” You tested.
“Oh shit,” he said, he slumped forward to you, your leg sliding off his shoulder, he pulled your back off the mattress and brought his mouth to your breast.
“Fuck, baby gi- oh fuck it,” he tangled his hand into your hair and tugged it. “Call me daddy!” He growled against your neck.
“Fuck me harder daddy. Oh my god,” the rhythm of his hips speeding up, you were close, approaching your climax quickly.
“You’re going to scream my name when I make you cum,” he said before biting one nipple and pinching the other. A fire was burning in your abdomen, and with every thrust he stoked the flames.
“Fuck Daddy, oh shit EVAN EVAN FUCKFUCK EVAN FUCK MAKE ME CUM PLEASE OH!” You screamed as the flames spread over your entire body, engulfing your being, you were shaking as you rode out your orgasm.
“Fuck baby, that was. Wow. Fuck your tight, I’m so damn close,” his thrusts became sloppy, you pull his face up to yours, bringing your lips to his. He twitches inside you and came hard, his jaw dropped and he whispered swears and his slowed to a stop inside you. He pulled out and collapsed beside you, exhausted and drunk on both alcohol and some fantastic sex. You took the condom off and buried it inside his garbage can, you climbed back into bed. You kissed his cheek, than snuggled into his sides your naked bodies laying flush against each other, he kissed the top of your head and held you tightly.
You woke up to bright light filling the room, you tried to stand a your legs were weak. Your empty space in the bed stirred Evan awake, his jaw dropped when you turned to look at him.
“Holy shit? Did I do that? No I definitely did I remember it, shit,” he mumbled taking in your naked and bruised figure, you looked in his mirror, they were everywhere. You tried to walk and you limped.
“Oh dear god, come back to bed (y/n). I can’t stand to watch you try and walk. After last night I think it’s only right it I’m your obedient servant today,” he said, pulling you into bed and holding you against him.
“Ok….. daddy,” you whisper into his chest. He turned pink and a look of shame washed over his face, like he remembered more now.
“Fuck. I’m so sorry that was horrible, god I’m sorry, (y/n) I love you so fucking much and it might not seem like it right now but this hangover is kicking my ass but trust me once it wears off I’ll be panicking, well actually I’m panicking right now because you look like I beat you last night and I pulled you hair and you-” he was cut off by your finger on his lips.
“Shh Evan baby it was actually really fucking hot. Dominant Evan if definitely interesting, and pretty fucking sexy,” you kissed his nose.
“Well than um. You’re uh welcome? God I love you, if you want me to be more dominant I will, but just only call me that when I’m drunk, please,” he whispered
“Call you what daddy?” You asked coyly
“Please stop. If my hang over doesn’t make me vomit that definitely will,” he murmured tucking his face into your hair.
“I love you, Evan,” your voice sweet like honey.
“I love you more than you’ll ever know, (Y/n),” and with that he was pulled back into sleep.
- he wants to talk to you but he doesn’t know what to do and his palms are sweaty and o h go d what do I do
- you don’t know that but you come over to sign his cast
- you sign his cast with your phone number
- he sees it and he’s just giddy you liked him
- your first date is watching a movie and eating popcorn on his couch
- he awkwardly puts his arm around you and you lean into his side
- his mom loves you to pieces
- helping him with his anxiety
- him encouraging you to follow your dreams
- “Do what you love, (Y/N)!”
- he chokes on his drink at that
- you tell Jared and Connor about it and Evan never hears the end of it
- Jared and Connor being the Embarrassing Asshole Friends
- “Who do you think will propose? (Y/N) or Evan?”
“(Y/N), definitely. Evan’s too pussy to do it.”
“I’m right here!”
“He’s right, Ev.”
- Evan loves your hugs
- when he has a bad day he comes to your house
- he’ll flop down on your bed and groan
- so you’ll hug him and just stay like that until he feels better
- he sends you pictures of cool trees instead of good morning texts
- but he always sends cheesy quotes and “good night, I love you” when he goes to sleep
- you often hear him singing in the shower
- “You’ve got a fantastic voice, Evan.”
- he is very warm and soft
- he loves sleeping with you
- not necessarily in a sexual way, he just loves the feeling of waking up next to you
- he says he wants to wake up next to you forever when he McProposes
I curled up tighter under the blankets as the thunder cracked loudly outside. Chris was still in the shower and I silently cursed him and his long showers. All I wanted was him to come and cuddle up next to me.
The thunder shook the windows and I pulled the blankets up around my head, still a little annoyed with myself for letting it get to me. I felt the tears well up just as I heard the shower shut off. ‘Oh, thank God,’ I thought to myself, managing to lower the covers just enough to see Chris coming out of the bathroom, wrapped in a white robe.
He must have noticed the look on my face, because he gave me a slight frown, followed by a sympathetic look. He walked over and climbed into the bed next to me, pulling me close to him. “You okay, babe?,” he asked, kissing me gently on the head. “Little better,” I mumbled, burying my head into his chest.
“Sorry I wasn’t here sooner,” he said, wrapping his arms around me, letting the tears fall freely. “’S okay,” I said, “better now that you’re here.” He held me tighter as the the thunder shook the house. I could feel the panic in my chest. “Hey,” he said, cupping my chin to look at him. “Don’t be scared. I’m right here.”
The soft beeping of his phone woke him up the next morning. He was staying in the guest bed, surprised to see Tyler had fallen asleep with his arms around him.
Where was Craig at?
As Evan shuffled out of Tyler’s grasp, he headed into the kitchen with his phone, checking the caller ID with a sigh. Jonathan. He answered and held it up to his ear, “Hey?”
“H-Hey…. I um…. I’m sorry… I freaked out yesterday… Just, please… Come home?” Jonathan’s voice was slurred and gravelly, full of exhaustion and the aftermath of sobbing for probably hours on straight without any liquids to keep him hydrated.
He sounded like a wreck, Evan took note, and he needed someone to depend on anyway. “I’ll be over in an hour, okay?” Evan said into the phone, scanning his eyes over the counters and fridge for a note of any kind.
“Craig’s o-over here… r-right now….” Evan froze up before responding casually after clearing his throat.
“Yeah? Emotional support?”
Jonathan nodded and added a yes as he realized Evan couldn’t see him through the phone “Yeah…”
Evan heard grumbling behind him followed by footsteps and a slurred morning. “Is that T-Tyler?” Jonathan’s voice dropped an octave as he murmured into the phone.
Evan let out a soft gasp as Tyler kissed a small spot in his neck, “Er.. yeah.”
Tyler glanced at him mischievously before continuing. Evan groaned and responded, “Be there in an hour, send Craig back before Tyler ends up in a chokehold.”
Tyler smirked and backed away, “Jonathan’s being a fucking idiot again, eh?”
“Yeah. A sobbing mess again.” Evan spoke as he ended the call and put his phone on it’s designated spot on the counter.
“We’ve got an hour before you leave and Craig comes back, wanna fuck?”
“Direct as usual. Sadly, I need to freshen up. Where’s your shower?”
“We can fuck in the shower,” Tyler smirked some more before feeling shot down by a glare with such heat and anger that he frowned, “Or not…”
Evan trudged past and entered the shower, locking the door behind him. Tyler sighed and left to go sleep some more.
An hour passes by before Evan is reluctantly at his own apartment’s doorstep. He clicks to open the door and pushes it open to find Craig straddling Jonathan. A surprised glint in Jonathan’s eyes as Craig roughly pushes his lips against his lover’s.
“What the FUCK is going on in here?!”
Craig flinches and glances to the doorway, his eyes darting straight to the ground with shame as he pants. Jonathan follows his gaze to Evan’s angered one. Soon though, they share that heated gaze and glare at one another.
“You don’t have a right to even get angry, Fong.”
Craig finds enough confident to burst out as well, “Tyler doesn’t do anything with me anymore… He won’t even cuddle now that you came along, Evan!”
Evan flinches as Jonathan sits up and slams his lips against Craig’s lips, the two sharing tongues. As they break apart, Evan takes a seat near the door silently. They send him a questioning glance, Jonathan’s tsk echoes along the quiet air.
“I’m sorry you two… I didn’t know how much pain I was causing. Fuck…” Evan sighs as he dares to look at them before darting his gaze back to the floor.
Craig only nods, but Jonathan stands up and slightly nudges Craig off of him before slamming himself in Evan’s lap and pressing his lips firmly to his. Craig’s eyes twinkle brightly as an idea crosses his mind.
“Hey… Why don’t we form a large relationship? You know like an orgy or some shit.”
Jonathan barely has time to stifle a laugh as he and Evan break apart, his giggles echoing along the walls. “That doesn’t sound bad at all… We’ve all kissed before.”
“Yeah and we’re a group of gay mother fuckers.” Jonathan stifled another giggle fit as his hands drew back from Evan’s shoulders to cover his mouth.
“I’ll call Tyler over.. We can present the idea to him, maybe it’ll stop all of Evan’s fucking bullshit.”
“Maybe.” Jonathan smirked in thought, crossing his arms and sending a brief glare at Evan before chuckling, “I guess we finally found a way to fix your stupid fucking affairs, Fong.”
“I have free roam between partners, that’s something special ya know.”
The sound was timid, as if it was afraid of being too loud or intrusive. You smiled gently to yourself, knowing who it was without even having to glance out the window. Evan had been coming over to your house every Wednesday since the two of you had started to date. You would do homework together, then your mom would make dinner, and you’d watch movies or play video games on your dad’s old Nintendo. It was nice, and you looked forward to every Wednesday evening because it was one of the few times you ever got to see Evan truly happy and mostly unconcerned.
What you saw when you opened the door, however, was the opposite of any of that.
Evan stood outside, his cheeks flushed from the cold. His eyes were wide, frantic, and you could see sheer terror clouding his honey brown eyes. He fiddled with the hem of his coat, rolling it between his fingers, then smoothing it out, then rolling it up again.
“What’s wrong?” You questioned, motioning for him to come inside. Neither of your parents were home yet, so the two of you were completely alone. Evan didn’t answer. He just shrugged out of his coat, hanging it methodically on the coat tree in the hallway. He stood virtually still, his only movements being his fingers constantly working and reworking the bottom of his shirt. His back was to you, but you could tell he was tense; his shoulders were hunched forward, and he stood so rigidly. “Evan? Are you okay?” You reached out a hand and before you could even place it on his arm, he recoiled violently. Immediately, you took a step back, giving him his space. “Do you want to talk about it?”
At that moment, he spun around to face you. He was breathing heavily. Tears were already starting to form in his eyes. Your heart broke.
“When were you going to tell me?” he questioned softly, his eyes not meeting yours. His fingers had moved on from the hem of his shirt, and now his fists were balled in his pockets. You had no idea what he was talking about, and your face must have communicated that, because he continued. “I-I-I saw the U-Haul in your driveway. When were you going to tell me you were moving?”
“I-I’m sorry if I’ve done anything that made you mad. I’m sorry that… that I’ve been a terrible boyfriend.” A tear slowly rolled down his cheek. You moved to hug him, but he sidestepped away from you towards the door. “I’m s-sorry that I’m so anxious all the time and you have to put up with me. I’m sure you’re tired of it.” His hands were back to playing with the hem of his shirt and he continuously shifted his weight from one foot to the other, as if it pained him to stand still for longer than a moment. “Y-you must think I’m such a f-freak and that I… I don’t deserve you and I-I get it. I am a freak and you could do so much better than me, but I thought… I thought you were nice and… and different and I don’t want to assume too much, but I think I deserved to find out from you, n-not from seeing a bright orange van parked in your driveway.” His eyes snapped open. You could tell he was terrified. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I’ll… I’ll go.” He snatched his coat from the hook, knocking down several other coats in the process. He swore under his breath and apologized again, his eyes darting from the coats on the floor to you, to his shoes. Slowly, he made his way to the door.
He shook his head quickly, reaching behind him for the doorknob. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just… I can’t… I can’t do this right now.”
You watched him practically run down the steps of your front porch and down your driveway, eyeing the U-Haul parked there warily. You sighed, shutting the front door and resting your forehead against it. What had just happened?
You ate a very awkward dinner with your family that night. Both of your parents were concerned by Evan’s absence, despite the fact that you insisted he just didn’t have as much work to do and he wanted to spend some time at home. While listening to your parents comment on how much they liked him and how sweet of a boy he was, you made up your mind that you were going to go talk to him.
That’s how you ended up standing on his front porch at 7:30 in the evening. You knocked gently, glancing through the glass in the door to see if there were any signs of movement. Nothing. You tried again, a little louder this time. “Evan?” you called just loud enough that he would be able to hear from inside. “Ev? It’s me. Can we talk? Please?” You saw the curtain in the front window move slightly. He was home, then. And he was ignoring you. Sighing to yourself, you knocked once more, ever so lightly. “Ev, I get that you’re mad at me, but I’m not really sure why,” your voice was barely above a whisper. You weren’t even sure if he could hear it, even if he was listening to you. “Please. I just want to talk.”
You waited a never-ending moment. Then, when nothing happened, you felt a single tear fall off your eyelashes. You felt terrible. Evan was mad at you, and really, you had no idea why. You wiped your eyes on your sleeves and attempted to compose yourself. “Look, Evan.” Your voice was louder this time, you didn’t let any of your emotions seep through. “I’m sorry. For whatever I did. I’m sorry you feel this way. I’m sorry about whatever happened at my house. I’m not moving. My parents recently rented a storage unit and they needed the U-Haul to get the Christmas decorations out of the house.” You sighed, stepping away from the door and muttering one last apology before trotting down the steps and into the drive way.
You stopped in your tracks, but you didn’t turn to look at him. His voice was soft, barely above a whisper, and really, you had no idea what he actually said, you just assumed. You hadn’t heard the door open.
“I’m sorry.” The door creaked open, and you heard the brush of fabric against wood as he leaned against the doorframe. “I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You probably hate me, don’t you? It’s just that… I panicked. I-I-I saw the moving van and I just… I shouldn’t have assumed, I know. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I wouldn’t. I just-“
“Evan.” You said it forcefully. He immediately stopped talking. You ran a hand through your hair as you turned to face him. Evan’s eyes were red and puffy; you assumed he hadn’t stopped crying since he left your house. You climbed the porch steps cautiously, deciding that, at least for now, it was better to change the subject. “Have you eaten?” He closed his eyes and shook his head, his fingers drumming mindlessly on the doorframe. “Are you hungry?” After a moment, he nodded and stepped aside, motioning for you to come in.
You followed him through the living room and into the kitchen, discarding your coat on the back of the couch as you passed. You sat down at the little breakfast bar, watching in silence as Evan dug through the cabinets looking for something to eat. He emerged with a cup of microwavable mac and cheese, and after several moments of attempting to remove the cellophane lid, he surrendered it to you, his hands shaking too much to be of any use.
“I’m sorry I’m such a burden,” he mumbled, standing aside as you poured water into the cup.
You started the microwave before answering him. “You are not a burden, Evan Hansen.” You grabbed his wrist and pulled him to you, wrapping your arms around him gently. “I promise you. You’re not.”
Cautiously, his arms snaked around you, as if he was afraid that you would pull away at any second. His chin rested in the crook of your neck, and you could feel his breath just behind your ear. “Still. I… I don’t know what came over me earlier. I mean, I do… but I didn’t think it was a problem. I’ve seen U-Hauls before. They’ve never bothered me. I-I guess it just affected me different because it was like…” You waited silently for him to continue. You had a feeling you knew what he was going to say, but you didn’t want to interrupt him. He needed to get this off his chest. Supportively, you held him a little closer, rubbing circles into his back with your thumb.
Gently, he pulled away, and you let him. He retreated slightly to lean against the countertop. He didn’t look at you, his hands alternating between tapping lightly against each other and playing with the hem of his shirt. “My dad left us when I was five.” You nodded, leaning against your own section of countertop. You were close to him—close enough to brush your hand against him if you wanted to—but far enough away that he didn’t feel crowded. “I-I dunno. I guess it affected me more than I thought. He just… he just showed up. With a U-Haul. And he took his things. And he was just… gone. And I guess I sort of just panicked earlier because I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want anyone to leave. I need you. I love you.” He paused, his eyes wide. “I-I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I shouldn’t have said that. Now you think I’m a freak. We’ve only been dating for what, like, three months? Who says I love you after three months? I’m sorry. Really, just… just forget I said anything.” He shook his head wildly and escaped from the kitchen. You sighed, hearing him practically running up the stairs to his bedroom.
When the microwave beeped, you took it upon yourself to stir the cheese packet into the noodles and take it up to Evan while it was still hot. He needed to eat, whether he was feeling embarrassed or not.
His bedroom door was ajar, so you knocked once, sharply, before entering. Evan was sitting crosslegged on hiss bed, his phone clutched in his left hand as his right played with his sock, twisting it between his toes and tugging at the excess fabric. You sat the cup of macaroni on his bedside table on top of his box of medications, and crouched down so that you were within his line of sight without being too intrusive.
“You don’t have to feel like an idiot, you know.” His eyes snapped to you even though his body didn’t move. At least you had gotten his attention. “Your dad leaving must have been real traumatic. I don’t blame you for not wanting anyone to leave you. And, for what it’s worth… we’ve been friends for a few years now. So I don’t think you jumped the gun on anything.” Cautiously, you reached out to grab the hand that was fidgeting with his sock. You watched as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.
He patted the space beside him on his bed and scooted over a little, making room for you. You faced each other, your knees touching, and your hand still holding his own. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he mumbled, his eyes finally directly meeting yours. “I’m just… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I love you, Evan Hansen. I think you know that. I’m not going anywhere. As long as you want me around, I will be. I can’t promise there won’t be days that I get frustrated with you, and I can’t promise there won’t be times when I need space, but I will always be here for you when you need me.” You felt yourself getting pulled swiftly into a hug. Evan’s head buried itself in your neck, and your arms wrapped around him tightly. You rubbed his back gently, feeling his breathing change. He was crying, you assumed, but not for the same reasons as earlier. “It’s okay. I’m here,” you soothed. “I’m right here.”