right after we fought

I didn't mean it like that...{p.jm}

Summary: “What are you, some kind of overprotective mom who needs to talk to my friends because she can’t get to me? Do you ever think about how annoying that is? How annoying you are? I can’t even do a single thing without you following along, watching, breathing down my neck! You’re my freaking girlfriend, y/n, so why don’t you act like it?!”

Genre: angst, fluff
Word count: 2k
(A/n: so I’m trying something new?? Me?? Writing fanfics?? But nah I was feelin angsty one day and This appeared at like 3 am haha)
********

As soon as I heard the front door slam shut I ran from my seat in front of the tv to Jimin. I had waited for him all day and when he texted that he’d be late I got a little worried. He’d been spending too much time at the studio lately, he should take some off to rest.

When he was out late, my thoughts consumed me maybe a little too much to the point where I texted the rest of Bangtan, all of whom I was close with as well, to ask if he had been acting ok. Their words reflected my thoughts and only added to my concern.

Lately Jimin has been spending late nights at the studio, working to exhaustion almost every day of the week, and when he came come he was different. He was distant, irritable, and I didn’t blame him. But I was worried, so worried.

“Jimin! I was worried!” Words flushed out of my mouth as I greeted him at the door. My worries flushed out with them. “Baby, I was thinking, you should take some time off. You’ve been working too hard and you’ve been tired and not eating…”

“Oh my god, get off my back, will you?”

My words froze in my throat as I looked up to see his face, usually outlined with a smile and laughter lines, filled with frustration and a hint of rage.

“I’m not even a foot in the door and you’re already hounding me. Can you ever leave me alone?”

I stared at him in shock. His words cut deep, but I swallowed them and continued tentatively.

“Jimin…You’re not yourself. You’re exhausted and I understand you’re frustrated. I talked to the rest of the guys and they said that you…”

“They said what??”

This time his anger made me take a step back. He’d never talked to me like this. We always talked through everything to avoid conflict, and we always, always avoided raising our voices.

“You talked to the rest of the guys?” For every step I took backward he took one forward toward me. “What are you, some kind of overprotective mom who needs to talk to my friends because she can’t get to me? Do you ever think about how annoying that is? How annoying you are? I can’t even do a single thing without you following along, watching, breathing down my neck! You’re my freaking girlfriend, y/n, so why don’t you act like it?!”

My eyes widen as his words sink in. Tears gather at the corners of my eyes but I blink them away before he notices. “Do you not want me to care?”

He groaned and threw his head back. “Oh my god, now you’re shoving words down my throat! I’m saying that sometimes I don’t want you around me!”

That was a punch to the gut. He didn’t want me around him. Every thought that I had ever had about that, every doubt was true. My head became dizzy and I had to put a hand out on the wall to steady myself.

Tears fought their way to the surface and I had to get away fast before they fell.

“Ok,” I managed to say weakly. “I understand. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for having to put up with me.” I turned to make my way to our bedroom, but a hand grasped my wrist. I turned to him and his face was twisted with guilt instead of anger.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean it like that…”

But I pulled away from his grasp before I could cry, or do anything else embarrassing, and made my way to our bedroom.

Jimin didn’t come for me all evening. I was stuck with his words echoing in my head. Sometimes I don’t want you around me. When night came, I only heard shuffling and the sound of the tv in the living room, meaning he was sleeping on the couch that night. It hurt. It freaking hurt. His silence confirmed to me that his words were true. It wasn’t just a result of his rough day, but they were his true thoughts, probably something that he had held inside for a long time.

And I cried. I cried because of how I had been. He was right. I was annoying. When I worried about him, it was too much. I was too clingy, too annoying, too much. He was right to not want me around all the time. I understood that, and I hated myself for it.

I finally fell asleep around 3 am with tear stains and a pile of tissues next to the bed. But only about an hour later I was woken up to the feeling of a dip in the bed next to me.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and turned to see Jimin lying next to me, looking at me with bloodshot eyes.

I sat up quickly and tried to rub the tear lines from my face and push stray tissues from the bed. “What do you want?” My voice cracked from sleep and the time I spent crying.

He didn’t say anything. He sat up with me and just looked at me. His face was unreadable as he reached out his hand to my face, only to pull it back quickly.

“Y/n,” His voice was soft and was filled with the saddest emotion. He shifted toward me slightly as if he wanted to get closer but was too scared to. “Y/n, I’m so, so sorry.”

I tried to stare back at him with stoicism, but at the sound of his words I broke again. Fat, salty tears streamed down my face, and I turned away to try to save what little dignity I had left. At the sight of my tears, he let out a small sigh and pulled me to him as quickly as I tried to turn away.

As much as I didn’t want to, I laid my head on his chest and just cried. I choked for breath as everything I was feeling-hurt, sorrow, regret-left me in one wave. He just put his arms around me as I soaked his shirt and stroked my hair so softly it made my heart ache.

When my sobs subsided, I tried to pull away, slightly embarrassed that I was clingy again, but he gently led back to his chest.

“Y/n,” His voiced surprised me, not because he had spoken, but because it was as cracked as mine. It shook like mine did. “I’m so, so sorry. I know you probably don’t want to hear anything from me, but please, let me try…”

My silence complied to his wishes, and he began again, his voice soft and tinged with pain.

“Baby, I messed up. I messed up bad. First of all, I promised you that I would never raise my voice at you. I broke that promise, and I broke what we had, and I don’t think I can ever forgive myself. When you looked at me before you left, with fear and pain, I wanted to beat myself up.”

His pauses to take a deep and shaky breath. I took the silent opportunity.

“But…but you were right. Everything you said was right. It’s okay. It’s all true. I’m always too much, clingy, annoying…”

“No,” Jimin’s arms held me tighter and buried his head into the crook of my neck. “No, baby, no. Nothing was right. Everything that came out my mouth was wrong.” He swayed us gently and I could feel his tears beginning to dampen the top of my shirt.

He looked up at me and cupped my cheek. His eyes were red again and tears streamed from them nonstop. It hurt to look back at him.

“I could never have been more wrong. Everything you did was right. You were worried, and I had avoided you, so you reached out to my friends, our friends. Everything you do you do because you care. It is never clingy or annoying or too much. I’m the one who needs to step up and treat you with the care that you’ve been treating me with.”

His hand was cold against my skin but his words sunk in with warmth. Sure, the pain was still there, but if it was lessening for even a moment, I would welcome that.

“I couldn’t face you after you left,” he continued softly. “I didn’t know what I could possibly say to you after what I had said. I tried to distract myself with television, but hearing you cry behind the door made me want to die. It hurt so bad, and it hurt even worse when I thought about how it was all my fault.”

A piece of hair fell from behind my ear into my face, and he quickly pushed it back.

He laughed softly, sadly. “Even after the past couple days, the first thing you said to me when I came back this evening was a concern about me. But I was too stressed with everything from work to even register the care and love behind it, and for that, I am sorry.”

He smiled at me when I looked into his eyes at his words.

“It’s ok,” I said, brushing away his words. “I’m ok, you don’t need to do anything. You have your job, your friends…”

“It’s not ok, you’re not ok, but I promise you I’m going to do everything I can to fix that. You come before anything else in my life and it’s about damn time that I treated you that way.”

Tears welled up in my eyes for the nth time that night, but he wiped them away before they even had the chance to fall.

“You were right. About needing some days off. I already spoke to Namjoon–I called him right after we fought–and he said he would take care of it only if I made things right with you. He said he would beat me senseless otherwise.” He softly ran his hand down my arms and sides, bringing slight laughter as he brushed my most ticklish spots. “You deserve better and I’m going to give you just that.”

This time I smiled sincerely at his words. The soft words hit me deeply–deeper than his words from the previous night. They were still there, and they would be for a while, along with the doubt and worries that had been highlighted. In that moment I forgave him, but it would take a while to erase what had happened.

“I forgive you, but your words still hurt. They’ll be in the back of my mind for a while, but I do forgive you.”

Jimin gave me a soft smile at my words. “I understand that, I’ll try to make it up to you.”

When I gave him a confused look, he chuckled and took my face in his hands again.

“Can I kiss you?”

I nodded.

Even though we had kissed so many times before, this one felt different. It was soft and chaste, but it held so much feeling.

He pulled away quickly, leaving my lips tingling, and jumped out of bed.

“From here on, your wish is my command! Why would you like? Hot chocolate? Ice cream? Puppies? More kisses?”

I couldn’t help but throw my head back and laugh. “Jimin, its four in the morning!”

He simply shrugged and beamed at me, not backing down on his offers, so I just asked for a glass of milk.

When he returned he set the glass on the side table and climbed into bed next to me. He gathered me into his arms and looked into my eyes in a way that made me almost embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry…” He whispered again.

“I know, honey, I know,” I closed my eyes and moved closer to him.“

He laughed softly, rumbling through his chest to me. “I already looked up the best dog cafes in Seoul for us to go to tomorrow.”

And we fell asleep like that, in each other’s arms, clinging to the ‘I’m sorry’s’ and promises that the morning would bring. Promises that I knew would be fulfilled.

so tonight in d&d!!! my cleric Aegis was cursed to have to eat bones every day or die, but she gained the ability to fly so Totally Worth It. anyways so she got this right after we fought a bunch of flame skulls, so she picked two up and put them in her bag for a tasty snack later.

and then forgot about them.

and so in case you didnt know flame skulls do in fact regenerate after some time, and did so in this case! which turned out to be during our short rest inside a tinyhut!! 

9

In France we hit the beach right after D-Day and fought through all those fucking hedgerows. We finally broke out into open country. We linked up with the Canadians and British and trapped an entire Kraut Army pulling back to Germany. We fucked them up. Dead Krauts and horses and busted up tanks and cars for miles. Miles. Your eyes see it but your head can’t make no sense of it. We go in there. And for three whole days we shot wounded horses. All day long. Sun up to sundown. Putting down horses. Hot summer days. Ain’t smelled nothing like it. The sound of it. Those fucking horses screaming. Black clouds of flies buzzing. Like being in a giant bee hive. But you weren’t there.

Just Like Her//Josh Dun

Requested: Can you do a Josh Dun imagine where he compares you to his ex? Like you guys get into a fight and he compares you to his ex but with fluff in the end. I’m not sure if that’s too vague or not so if you need more info let me know! 😁 and if you don’t want to do this subject/topic that’s completely fine! Thank you!

Xx

               You let a sigh pass from your lips as you looked over at the clock on your desk. The bright red numbers illuminated a “12:32am” on the screen—you lost track of time again. Not like anyone could blame you though, with all the schoolwork you had been assigned and lectures to go to on a daily basis a lot of work was normal. But until 12:30 in the morning? You couldn’t help but wonder about that one, considering Josh had gotten on you a few times about it in the past. He hated it when he was off tour and all you did was work until you fell asleep. When he was home used to be a special time, where the two of you stayed around each other as much as possible—which was slowly falling apart.

               “Again?” You heard an unimpressed voice mutter from your bedroom as you crept in; hoping he wouldn’t notice how late it was. “You said you would quit working all night; I miss you.” Josh muttered, obviously disgruntled with the situation.

               “I’m sorry, I had this essay and I thought I finished it. Then I realized” You were cut off by an exasperated grunt. “I’m really sorry, don’t go.” You whispered, grabbing at Josh’s arm as he went to walk by you.

               “No. All you do is work. Work work work. Where is any time for us?” He snarled, Josh wasn’t the type to get mad and yell at you—but this seemed to be an exception. “I never see you any more, I hate it. It feels like you’re the one on tour when really you put school above me.” You were close to seeing red, how dare he try to claim that.

               “Really? I put school before you? Something I am paying an arm, a leg and my kidney for. I feel like that’s pretty good priority. Or at least bigger priority than hitting drums every night.” Two can play at this game Josh.

               “You’re just like Lizzy!” Your heart dropped, Lizzy was the girl who Josh had loved for years upon years before the two of you got together; it took him a long time to get over her. “She always put that in my fucking face; “oh you choose the band over me” “Josh why are you gone all the time is the band that important?”. At least she could understand that my time home is important. She at least tried spending time with me once in a while, not whining about missing me when I’m gone.” You felt tears brimming in your eyes as he spoke. Guess she was better than you, huh? “Go back to working. Slave your life away for nothing.” Josh snapped before leaving the room. You stood frozen in place, feeling like a hollow shell filled with only pain.

               She was prettier, nicer, more talented. Lizzy was at least able to join Josh on some tours; you saw pictures of the two all the time back in the day. He always posted about her, talking about how she was his one and only love, how much he adored her. Things that you realized he never did with you. Besides the group photos taken with Tyler, Mark and Jenna; you two had no couple photos on his account (while yours was loaded with them). You couldn’t help but spend the rest of the night convincing yourself that Josh didn’t love you as much as his ex. That he wasn’t near proud to have you.

Xx

               “I feel like a girls day is needed.” Jenna explained, pulling at your hand as you grudgingly followed her. She had heard about the night before (through Tyler; considering Josh tells him everything), and decided to try her hand at cheering you up. “Josh didn’t mean what he said, he was just in a bad mood. He loves you too much to let anything happen.” You nodded, cringing when you saw a slightly familiar face in the crowd. Her black hair flowed down over her shoulders; hiding parts of….Josh’s shirt? Why the hell is she wearing his shirt?

               “No.” You whimpered, staring over at Lizzy who sat gossiping with friends. “No. He couldn’t have.” You turned to leave the area completely when you heard your name being called from behind you. For fuck sakes.

               “Y/N! Long time no see doll.” The girl smiled at you, getting a small, neutral wave in response. “And Jenna, god you’re even more gorgeous than last time; Tyler really got lucky with you.” You heard Jenna slightly laugh from beside you. “So Josh came to my house last night, do you know what’s up with that?” Maybe she was asking the question with honest curiosity; but in your current state you just shrugged and spun on your heel. Determined to leave before she could brag about her awesome night with your boyfriend.

Xx

“Y/N, stop!” You ignored Jenna’s calls as you made your way up the street, ignoring the chilly air that was seeping through your sweater. You were absolutely heartbroken and had no intention of being around anyone right now.

Would Josh actually cheat? You wanted to say no, but she was wearing his shirt. The shirt that he was wearing last night before he left. He did compare you to her, so maybe he still loves her more.

It was about an hour after you left the mall when you finally arrived home; you were surprised the tears that were streaking down your cheeks didn’t freeze due to the cold. You were shivering, you were still sobbing, you just wanted to sit in a warm shower and cry until the hurt went away.

“Y/N?” You heard a voice croak from the kitchen; you merely ignored him. Too caught up in your thoughts and shivering to care. “Did you walk home? How long were you out there? You must be freezing.” You heard Josh worry from behind you, following you up to the bathroom as you continued to ignore him.

“Leave me alone.” You sobbed, slamming the bathroom door behind you and locking it. Making your way to the shower, you felt like death had ran over you with a bulldozer and backed up to make sure he had hit you.

“I have a lot to explain, but I guess that’ll wait. I’ll be out here if you need me. I love you Y/N…” You heard Josh trail off, a cynical thought of him lying plaguing your thoughts as you stripped out of your cold clothing, stepping into the steaming downpour of water waiting for you. It almost burned your cold skin at first, the sudden heat being applied. Though you couldn’t care less, nothing hurt more than being betrayed by the one you love.

Xx

               “Y/N!” You heard someone scream from above you, there was no recollection in your head of falling asleep; but you must’ve. Considering the water pouring on your legs was now ice cold and Josh was in the bathroom wrapping you in a towel and carrying you out. “You were in there for an hour and a half are you okay?” He sobbed, bringing you to the bedroom the two of you shared—or once shared. “You’re lips are turning blue, shit.” You laid in a tired, confused daze watching as Josh rushed around the room. Grabbing your softest, fluffiest pair of pajama pants and one of his sweaters; sliding them onto your body as he wrapped you in blankets.

               “What happened?” You rubbed the sleep from your eyes as Josh had snuggled against your side, sobbing softly as he did so. “Well besides you fucking your ex right after we fought.” Despite his caring actions; you were still angry and heartbroken.

               “It seems like you fell asleep in the shower or something?” Josh started, looking up at you with red rimmed eyes—he had been crying for a long time. “I never did anything with her. I slept on her couch and put my hoodie on the next day. She must’ve gotten a hold of my shirt without realizing or something. She came over earlier with it apologizing to you. I’m so sorry Y/N.” You felt your bottom lip protrude a tad as you let your cold fingers comb through Josh’s mangled hair.

               “It’s okay. I love you.” You mumbled; despite the fact that you were still slightly heartbroken and angry you still loved this boy. You loved him to death.

               “I love you too Y/N; so much. Please, just don’t scare me like that again.” Josh whispered, holding you a bit tighter. Neither of you daring to move a muscle for the rest of that night.

6

In France, we hit the beach right after D-Day and fought through all those fucking hedgerows. We finally broke out into open country. And bypassed all these Kraut divisions. We linked up with the Canadians and British and trapped an entire Kraut Army pulling back to Germany. We fucked them up. With planes and artillery. Dead Krauts and horses and busted up tanks and cars for miles. Miles. Your eyes see it but your head can’t make no sense of it. We go in there. And for three whole days we shot wounded horses. All day long. Sun up to sundown. Putting down horses. Hot summer days. Ain’t smelled nothing like it. The sound of it. Those fucking horses screaming. Black clouds of flies buzzing. Like being in a giant bee hive.