riding jeans

look dear anons you don’t come into my inbox and talk to ME about a red riding hood au and not expect me to get both nasty and thirsty enough to stay up late to scribble a wolf!JJ before bed

ideas better than gay le fou

  • bisexual lumière who’s a hit with both the ladies and the men
  • gay cogsworth who doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings for lumière
  • ace cogsworth
  • honestly just lgbt+ cogsworth please i need this
  • non-binary chip
  • exasperated lesbian angelique from belle’s enchanted christmas
  • christ even jean valjean riding in from the 19th century to plant one on maurice idk
  • literally anything
Gadzookery

(also on ao3)

~~~~~

“Gadzooks, gadzooks, gad–”

“What the heck are you doing?”

Jean shifts his gaze in the mirror to find Eren behind him, leaning on the doorframe to the bathroom with his arms crossed and one eyebrow lifted.

“Practicing,” Jean answers. “I can’t be an actor in the Renaissance Faire and not speak old-timey.”

“But, Jean, horses don’t speak.”

Jean sighs loudly.

“What’s with that?” Eren asks.

“With what?”

“You always get so uptight when I call you a horse.”

“It’s not exactly a compliment.”

“You don’t think so?”

“Of course I don’t think so!”

“Wanna know what I think?”

Jean turns - shoulders squared, ready for a fight - as Eren stalks up to him. He’s caught by surprise when Eren palms his dick through his pants.

“I think you’ve got a stallion cock and I want to ride it.”

Jean swallows, mouth suddenly dry. “You’re in a mood.”

“You gonna indulge it?” Eren asks, licking his lips.

The answer is yes if the two fingers Jean has pumping into Eren’s ass are any indication. They’re on the bed, Jean leaning against the headboard as Eren straddles his lap, hands on Jean’s shoulders to help him balance.

“Shit, Jean, come on. I’m good enough.”

Jean rolls his eyes. Eren is woefully shitty at gauging whether he is properly prepared or not. Instead of saying this, though, Jean pushes a third finger at his entrance, stopping at the first knuckle when Eren’s breath hitches and his face scrunches, the grip on Jean’s shoulders tightening.

Idiot Jean thinks.

He takes his other hand, which has been resting on Eren’s thigh, and brings it up to Eren’s face, smoothes it along his cheek. He reaches around to tickle at the hair at the back of Eren’s neck and Eren shivers, relaxes a fraction. Jean leans up, takes Eren’s mouth in a gentle kiss. Eren sighs into it, glad for the distraction as Jean continues to steadily slip his finger in the rest of the way. He waits until Eren nips at his lips before starting to glide all three digits in and out at a slow pace.

Jean knows Eren is truly ready when he starts to mewl and pant into Jean’s mouth, hips pushing back against his hand. He is close to wriggling his pinky finger inside of Eren, too, but Eren smacks at his arm.

“I want nn-” he shudders as Jean hits his prostate “–I want your cock.”

Jean obliges him this time. He removes his fingers and rolls on a condom, lubes himself up before positioning his dick at Eren’s hole.

“Ready?” he asks.

Eren nods, reaching behind him to spread his ass as he guides himself onto Jean’s dick.

Fuck,” he breathes, one hand coming up to grip Jean’s shoulder again. It takes a couple minutes of gentle bobbing and deep breaths, but eventually Eren seats himself fully.

Jean’s hands rub up and down Eren’s thighs as he adjusts, draws circles with his thumbs at Eren’s hips.

“Shit, you feel good,” Jean says. He’s shaking a little, keeping himself under control. He wants to plow Eren into the mattress, but this is Eren’s rodeo. So to speak.

A few moments pass and then Eren lifts himself up before slowly, tortuously, sinking himself back down. He clenches, squeezing Jean’s cock and making Jean bite his lip, before doing it again.

Once he’s sure he can take it, Eren sets a quick pace. Jean holds Eren’s hips with a firm grip, thrusting up to meet him. The room is filled with gasps and moans and the slapping of skin. Eren makes an unintelligible noise, fingers digging into Jean’s skin, when Jean grabs his cock, pumps it in time to Eren’s rhythm.

“Gonna come,” Eren pants, eyes slipping closed, eyebrows furrowing.

“Do it. Come for me, Eren.”

And Eren does with a shout, dick twitching, hot seed spilling over Jean’s stomach.

Jean fucks him through it, stopping once Eren pushes at his chest. He climbs off and Jean thinks he’s going to flop over next to him, but instead he shimmies down the bed until his face is flush with Jean’s cock. He takes the condom off and sucks Jean into his mouth, tongue kneading at his slit.

Jean hisses in pleasure, hand flying down to grab a fistful of Eren’s hair. Eren may say some stupid shit, but his mouth is a godsend and it is capable of delightful things.

“Eren,” Jean groans quickly, because Eren’s mouth is so warm and so wet and his tongue is doing that thing where it undulates against the underside of his dick and it just feels so good.

At the warning, Eren takes as much of Jean as he can, humming and swallowing around Jean’s cock until Jean is coming hard down his throat. He releases Jean from his mouth, coughing a little, but that doesn’t stop him from licking up the mess before crawling up and collapsing onto Jean’s chest - sticky, come-covered stomach be damned -  and burying his face in the crook of Jean’s neck.

Jean wraps his arms around Eren’s waist and they lie there without speaking, both of them breathing heavy.

“Gadzooks, that was great,” Jean says eventually.

He can feel Eren’s smile against his skin even as Eren reaches up to lazily punch him in the arm.

6

Riding Jeans Review:

Wrangler Mae with “Booty Up” vs. Ariat R.E.A.L. Denim

Probably nobody remembers, but a while back I posted a rant about how difficult it is for me as a very
tall but otherwise average-sized human to find breeches that fit properly and comfortably for a full day of working and riding. Better believe jeans are not easier, especially jeans that are comfy to ride in. So I thought I would share my favorite pair from the past year, and my recent new favorite.

First: the Wrangler Mae with “Booty Up”. Worth noting that not all colors feel the same; I tried this jean on in a couple of different washes, and only this light wash had the stretchy feeling I like. The black and darker wash jeans both felt stiffer and heavier. It’s possible they would’ve broken in fine, but I don’t like a long break in process. Overall though these jeans have served me well over the past year, and I found that extremely comfortable. After a couple days of wear, especially in hot weather, they did start to sag and required a belt. But they haven’t worn out, or stretched in any way that doesn’t spring back after a quick wash and dry. When riding the waistband does not gap, and they do not dig in at the front. They sit just above the hip, so there isn’t a pressure point right on the hip bone like some low-riders cause.

Then I tried the Ariat REAL (Entwined, marine wash). I was a little skeptical, as I always am when trying a new brand of jeans, but I was pleasantly surprised by these. The seams along the inner thighs are flatter than those on the wranglers, important when riding. Also, as you can see, the shape of the yoke is just a little different to the wranglers. It’s slightly higher cut in the back and angled, which I like, and which seems to stop them sagging even after a few days of wearing in gets them loosened up. They are also slightly longer in the leg – at first I thought this was going to be annoying, but I found it didn’t bother me throughout the day, and kept the back of my boot covered when I rode. The Wranglers can sometimes ride up on me when I drop my heels. Finally, the pockets on the Ariats are much deeper and roomier, more like the pockets on men’s jeans. This is an often overlooked detail, and one I greatly appreciate. On the wranglers I could barely fit my cell phone in the back pocket. On the Ariats I can put it into any of the four pockets easily. My only complaint would be that the lining on the pockets makes it more difficult for me to slide the clip of my work knife on there easily.

So both are really comfortable, I will continue to wear the Wranglers, but I have ordered a second pair of the Ariats and I think they are my new favorites. If anyone has any questions about fit, sizing, or anything else about either pair feel free to ask :) Hope this is helpful!

  • eren: what's up guys! i have jean's shoes!
  • armin: why do you have jean's shoes?
  • eren: look man it was 1am, he left them in mikasa's trunk, so i assumed they were mine
Park Jimin As Your Boyfriend~

- dinner dates 

-walks in the park 

- he sings for you all the time 

- when you shower together her washes your hair 

- back rubs 

- long hugs 

- quietly cuddling in bed together during the day 

- he makes you breakfast 

- he gets jealous easily 

- hot makeout sessions 

- he is always holding your hand 

- plays with your hair 

- talking shit about people together 

- he pouts when you poke his cheeks 

- tHIGHS 

- HE KNOWS THEY HURT YOU 

- SO HE PURPOSELY WEARS REALLY TIGHT JEANS 

- thigh riding 

- bomb ass sex 

- eats you out 24/7 

 - couple outfits 

- promise rings 

- he lets you do his hair 

- naughty texts

Originally posted by bwipsul

fat girls! brown girls! disabled girls! post yourselves on social media. post yourselves wearing Gucci jeans and riding skateboards. post yourselves laying in bed in a silk nightie. I’m so tired of scrolling through 100 pound white girls on my feed. no shade to them, but I never see anyone else. please, post yourselves on social media, it’s so important. normalize your body.

X-Kids at Disney World

(Modern AU because I don’t know what was and was not at Disney World in the 80s)

Kurt: Rode the Pirates of the Caribbean ride five times and wouldn’t stop humming the theme song for the rest of the day.

Scott: Threw up on Space Mountain like a dork. Insisted on riding it again anyway.

Jean: Disneybounded as Ariel and was so convincing that a group of kids asked for her autograph.

Peter: Determined to eat his way across all four parks.  Nearly cried when he dropped his Dole Whip on the sidewalk.

Ororo: Insists on going on the loudest, fastest, most intense rides, even when the others would just like to go back to the hotel and take a nap.

Warren: Wanted to stay in the car originally, but the others need him to be the official crowd-parter/bag-holder. Had to have his hand held by Kurt on Haunted Mansion.

Jubilee: Is not leaving until she gets a picture with every Disney princess.  Enjoyed the fireworks but insists she could have done better.