“You can’t just ride a bear,” she said. “It’s not built for transportation.”
I looked at her cowardly face. “That’s loser talk,” I said.
She was a bit offended but I didn’t care. I was going to ride that grizzly bear and I was going to do it today.
“Give me the lasso out of the bag,” I ordered.
“No… please, don’t do this.”
“That’s loser talk,” I said as I ripped the backpack out of her hands.
The rope was thick and the lasso was heavy, but I had spent every waking hour of my life preparing for this day. A heavy rope wasn’t going to stop me.
“What if it bites you?” she protested.
But I wouldn’t listen. This was my destiny; this was my fate. I slowly approached the grizzly, rope in hand, my fingers ready to strike.
I knew it could sense I was coming. It turned, sniffed the air, and rose up on its hind legs. He was towering, about a foot taller than me, and had thick brown fur shielding him from the cold. I only had my $240 North Face jacket.
“Let’s go. You and me. It’s game time, you dumb bear,” I taunted.
He slowly turned to face me. Our eyes met, and he had a twinkle in his eye that looked like a diamond. It was kind of cute for a bear.
I readied my lasso. The time was right. The wind was settled and the air was clear. It was now or never.
But I couldn’t do it. It was something about the way he tilted his head and stared at me—a sort of innocence and fragility that I had scarcely seen before. I just couldn’t bring myself to tame such a wild beast.
“I can’t do it…. I can’t fight you, bear,” I shouted in tears.
What would fun at a Fair be without a good Puppet Show? Well, in this set piece a Puppet Show is being led by Harry Rabbit and his juggling son Jack Rabbit. Harry is seen puppeteering a puppet of a Gypsy and Russian dancer. Other puppets seen on the rack are inspired by the likes of a Roaring 20s gal, a cowboy, a clown, an artist, a Keystone Cop and a Latin dancer. His son Jack on the other hand is seen juggling balls under the blacklight environment. This entire scene was elaborate under blacklight and was aided by a Calliope of the famed Knott’s Bear-y Tales song! Photo Courtesy Knott’s Preserved
“How do you even get into that?” Sam complains loudly, gesturing
at T’Challa’s Black Panther suit.
It comes out a tad too dramatic, maybe,
but it’s already bad enough that Pepper paired him up with Mr. Tall, Dark and
Deadly for the photo OPs, Sam shouldn’t also have to suffer through 2 hours of
that ridiculous and stupidly tight cat costume.
Not that normal, non-superhero clothes
would’ve been much better – T’Challa could probably make a pair of old sweatpants
and a floral print shirt look regal as fuck. His clothes seem to always hug his muscles
in all the right places, no matter what he’s wearing, so a suit or a jeans
& black Henley combo weren’t going to make Sam’s evening any easier.
The problem, really, is that Sam wishes he could be the one hugging T’Challa’s
The problem is the goddamn suit looks
like it’s been painted on, and Sam’s already starting to feel all hot and
bothered in his own uniform, and they haven’t even stepped out of the waiting
T’Challa shoots him a smirk, and that,
too, is deadly.
“You ask me nicely,” the man replies.
It’s a joke.
It’s very clearly a joke, and Sam’s too
fond of teasing people himself not to appreciate it, but fuck if it isn’t putting
images in his head, and god, that’s the last thing Sam needs right now.
He tries to cover the fact that he
almost just choked to death on his own spit with a derisive snort, but he’s
pretty sure it comes out too high-pitched to be convincing, and his sweaty
palms aren’t helping.
got your tongue?” T’Challa asks when Sam fails to come up with a witty response.
And god, Sam wishes. It’s getting really
fucking hot in here.
enjoying poking fun at him immensely, if the way the corners of his eyes are
crinkling is anything to go by. If he wasn’t so drop-dead gorgeous, Sam would
always such a smartass or is it just ‘cause it’s my birthday?” he grunts.
blinks, and then raises an interested eyebrow. “It’s your birthday?” he asks. Sam
just shrugs. “And you’re here doing this?”
offered to change the date, but whatever man, it’s just a few hours,” Sam says.
doesn’t reply right away, just stares at him like the cat that ate the goddamn canary,
killer smile still on his lips and doing all kinds of things to Sam’s
stomach. “I didn’t know it was your birthday,” he tells him a moment later. “I
would’ve gotten you something.”
Wakanda,” T’Challa cuts him off, taking a few steps in his direction, “we have
this way of wishing people a happy birthday.”
Sam asks. But before he can stop to think about how close T’Challa is all of a
sudden, or about how it’s getting a bit harder to breathe, there’s an arm wrapping
around his waist and a big, strong hand at his throat, tipping his chip up.
kisses him unhurriedly, but firm and hot and claiming, swallowing Sam’s gasp right up and then licking into his
mouth just right while his hands keep him securely in place. Which is good,
because god, without them Sam would probably just slide down to the floor.
pulls back Sam can’t help but try to chase his lips, and even whimpers a little
at the loss of him. Later, he might worry about how pathetically desperate he probably
seems, but right now he can only think of how pleasantly dizzy he feels, and maybe
lament the fact that he didn’t use this chance to let his hands roam over T’Challa’s
Dude, I think I want to move to Wakanda,” Sam manages to let out.
laughs softly. “Happy birthday, Samuel,” he says, thumb still stroking Sam’s
Sam tells him, because hey, it is his
birthday after all. He might as well. “If I were
to ask you nicely… would you be okay with that?”
says, smiling. “This was just a happy birthday wish. Wait until you get
to unwrap it,” Sam jokes, and then forgets how to breathe, because T’Challa is
kissing him again.
this was the first PS1 game box art I ever saw and was also my introduction to the speculative world of 3D gaming. up until this point I’d only played a few games on my game boy and some sega megadrive games, and i found everything about this bewildering.
when i was a kid i interpreted crash bandicoots design as being a devil for some reason, and i also thought he looked really horny. i didn’t really have a fully formed understanding of why people had sex because i was 8, but his facial expression and the fact that he’s shirtless just made him look like a pervert and a fiend to me. sonic was totally naked but if he only wore trousers and nothing else the lack of the rest of his clothes would be more apparent. i also remember the advertisements at the time saying you could cheat in this game (it might have been crash team racing actually) and i was really worried by how unwholesome the whole thing seemed.
my first ever video game was pokemon yellow, a game which opens up with you in your bedroom, and you’re able to go downstairs and talk to your mum, which is something i could do in real life too, but this presented an entirely new and unfamiliar experience that thoughroughly haunted me.
everything else about this box art was frightening to me because so many things are happening. tiny tiger at the back especially, who not knowing anything about him, i just assumed he was some kind of orange orc or ogre with a tank for a lower body, the position of his cannon only furthering the very rowdy atmosphere i was imaging this series to contain. cortex being knocked away by coco riding a polar bear, an event that seemed to have nothing to do with the tank vs pogo stick action taking centre stage here, made my young mind really overwhelmed by just the thought of 3d gaming, which took me about a year to actually get over.
at some point i played a crash team racing demo disk at a friends house, and i was very hesitant because of my very negative image of the series, but i ended up really enjoying it, and eventually got my own PS1 so i could play the full game and the rest of the crash bandicoot games, i had a weird fixation on the character “dingodile” for a few years which i don’t have any real explanation for.
is it me, or does Goetia's Buer sound like a good guy? or at least a true neutral at that, this descriptions make him look like a intellectual in philosophy, a tea aficionado and a skilled medic. so what if he is a polite daemon? MAYBE he lacks true morality but from what i can tell from this descriptions, he seems like at least a cultured (possibly) polite dude.
You know, there’s a lot of them that sound like they wouldn’t want to
immediately rip your throat out. That’s why I was waiting to answer this one; I
wanted to go through all 72 and pick out the Goetia Goodies (O) and the
Goetia Goons (X). Let’s see, in order…
BAEL: Hoarse voice, spider legs, fussy. Sounds like a royal pain! (X)
AGARES: I doubt he can always rein in that croc. (X)
VASSAGO: One of many to tell the past and future, he can also help
you find things you’ve lost. Just so long as you keep it clean, I guess. (O)
GAMIGIN: A horse with a hoarse voice. That’s unethical. (X)
MARBAS: Can cure diseases, but also cause them. Surely in league with
Big Pharma! (X)
VALEFOR: Tempts people to steal! (X)
AMON: Spits fire, but cures controversies between friends. Can also
cause feuds? But I have a soft spot for Amon, so… (O)
BARBATOS: Lets you understand birds and dogs, opens magical chests. What
a pal! (O)
PAIMON: The most obedient to Lucifer, definitely a Bad Boy. (X)
BUER: And here we are at the gentle Dr. Buer. (O)
GUSION: Depending on what a “Xenopilus” is, he’s otherwise all about
SITRI: One of those who makes people horny. Armed and dangerous. (X)
BELETH: He’s got all those trumpeters. Very annoying! (X)
LERAJE: The belligerent demon Robin Hood. (X)
ELIGOR: Knows all about wars, but doesn’t seem to be all about fighting
them. Still, will err on the side of caution here. (X)
ZEPAR: Can make people infertile! What a dickweed. (X)
BOTIS: Future-telling, reconciliation, but never trust a viper with a
BATHIN: The first of those who can teleport people. Neat, but rife for
abuse (and Star Trek-style transporter accidents). (X)
SALLOS: Another croc-rider, but specifically saying he’s peaceful. Well,
I’m sold. (O)
PURSON: Rides a bear. Despite that,
the Kings are probably not to be trusted. (X)
bull-man who just want to make the world a smarter place. (O)
IPOS: The Ugliest
Demon, but he makes people witty. A Cyrano in our midst? (O)
NABERIUS: Another teacher! (O)
“An author of Bloodshed and Manslaughter.” (X)
money. Commie! (X)
monster man who nonetheless is a rhetoric expert. (O)
BERITH: He is the
Philosopher’s Stone in demon form. All that gold will crash the markets! (X)
ASTAROTH: One of
the nastiest. Plus he has bad breath! (X)
rhetoric and friend-making. (O)
FORAS: Can make
people invisible. Lead us not into temptation! (X)
ASMODEUS: Need I
say more? (X)
people ignorant. (X)
fickle one about summoning, can also cause thunderous storms. (X)
Vomits fire, but really wants to be an angel again, so perhaps would still be
on his best behavior. (O)
STOLAS: All about
that astronomy and those herbs and precious stones. No bias here! (O)
PHENEX: A sweet
singer and poet. Another who wishes to be an angel once more. (O)
nice, but is also the bad kind of gun nut. (X)
MALPHAS: Can read
the minds of your enemies. As if you don’t already know from their passive-aggressive
tweets and comments. (X)
dirty thief (but of rich kings, so maybe it’s OK), but also destroys cities.
and drowns people. Right to the point! Or to the bottom? (X)
warships, but also putrefies sores and causes worms to breed in them. Gross!
Halphas, only for armor, but shares Vepar’s vile worm-breeding-in-sores power. (X)
SHAX: The stealer
of senses! (X)
wizards and witches (!), but causes rough storms on waters. Also a King. (X)
seem so bad, but hangs out with the dead so he’s probably fetid. (X)
Goetia PUA. (X)
alchemy. These demons need some new hobbies! (X)
discover baths and warm them up real nice, but also creates noises that sound
like rushing torrents, like some weirdo. Consider it ambiance, I guess. (O)
Knight is a “cruel old man” who teaches pyromancy. We live in the
universe where pyromancy is OP, so… (X)
King, Bear. Not a good enough ratio. (X)
ALLOCES: NO MORE WARRIORS
ON HORSES, PLEASE (X)
CAIM: The bird-man, he lends
understanding of animals and the waters (!), and things to come. He answers in
hot coals, so as long as he’s not summoned near flammable objects Caim probably
won’t give you any trouble. (O)
MURMUR: A PERFECT
philosophy teacher and mediator to the dead. Just wear earplugs for his
trumpeting cohorts. (O)
OROBAS: Tells of
the past, present, future, and of divinity and the creation of the world. Said
to be “very faithful” to the summoner. What’s not to love? (O)
Future-telling, but another that messes with the hearts of women, if commanded.
Come on occultist, just use a dating app like everyone else! (X)
OSE: Ose can
transform the summoner into “any Shape.” Keep your fetishes to
AMY: The flaming
liberal science teacher. Like Caim, practice fire safety and you should be
astrologer, but can also magically promote people through ranks, presumably
those undeserving of it. (X)
VAPULA: A winged,
lion-headed professor of “all handicrafts and professions.” (O)
ZAGAN: The bull
King, can transmute blood into wine. Sounds a hair more effective than a wine
where hidden treasures are and where serpents may be seen. Needs a friend,
ANDRAS: If you
treat him as a joke, Andras will straight up kill you; suppose he’s tired of
being laughed at for being an owl-headed man riding a wolf. (X)
particular demon; will lie if things aren’t just right, but can also burn
people to death. (X)
wouldn’t want to learn geometry from a peacock? (O)
KIMARIS: The last
horseback warrior. Logic, rhetoric, rules spirits of Africa,
musician of Hell, Amdusias can also bend trees to the summoner’s will. That’s
so weirdly specific I think I have to give it a pass. (O)
BELIAL: The King
Belial seems to be another fickle with the summoning process, requiring gifts
and sacrifices, but is written to have a better demeanor than many others.
Still, play with fire… (X)
original star man and ornithologist, he just wants you to understand birds! (O)
SEERE: He’s like
a demonic U-Haul truck, carrying things to and fro as demanded. Tells of thievery,
but doesn’t seem to condone it explicitly. (O)
last great teacher of the 72, but can control people’s minds. (X)
Perhaps the most just of all the demons, Andromalius is said to catch and
punish thieves and “discover all wickedness.” There must be a lot of
internal conflict in Hell’s hierarchies, eh? (O)
So out of the 72, I have determined that 27 of them would be kind of nice. That’s not bad! But aside from the many teachers among them, Buer probably ends up with one of the best professions and demeanors, if not the best.
Of course, all of these demons still have command over X number of demon legions, Buer with 50, so it’s probably all relative, anyway.