richard harper

  • <b> Dick:</b>If we get married we're taking your last name.
  • <b> Jason:</b> Why?
  • <b> Dick:</b> Jason Grayson.
  • <b> Dick:</b> I'd call you Jason Gayson.
  • <b> Dick:</b> N<i>o. </i>
  • <b> Dick:</b> Gayson Grayson.
  • <b> Dick:</b> Gayson Gayson.
  • <b> Dick:</b> o<i>h my god </i>
  • <b> Roy:</b> You'd be a fucking legend
  • <b> Roy:</b> marry him
  • Jason: When I die, [again], donate all of my organs to children in need, except for my middle fingers.
  • Roy: What do I do with those?
  • Jason: Give them to my brothers. They're the last fucks I have left to give.
Things I associate the Batfam with:

Bruce: *internal screaming* and Adoption Papers

Alfred: The Sassy Eyebrow Raise™

Dick: Puns n’ Secret Sadness

Jason: yeET

Tim: Near Death Coffee Experience

Damian: Veggie Burgers and Massacre

Barbra: Under the Glasses Nose Pinch

Stephanie: 107% DONE

Cass: Doesn’t Deserve This Shit

Duke: *panicked screaming*

Harper: Really Really Loud Sighing

Kate: Squinty Glare

Bat-Kids React to BatCat Engagement
  • Dick: Super-excited, just wants his dad to be happy. Throws himself into wedding preparation. Lives for this. Takes cake-tasting far more seriously than either the bride or groom.
  • Jason: Passive-aggressive questioning in the fake voice of a 10-year-old, just to annoy Bruce. Is not actually worried about whether he'll have to share his room with the cats. Selina finds it hilarious. Bruce is unamused.
  • Tim: "...You know, I knew something ridiculous was going to happen while I was not-dead. This wasn't even in the top twenty worst-case scenarios, so...congrats?"
  • Cass: Quietly super-happy. Subtly works cat motifs into her costume. Tags along with Selina on patrol.
  • Steph: "About time. This house needs some more feminine energy. They're always ganging up on me."
  • "Stephanie, you don't even live here."
  • "New mommy, dad's being mean to me again."
  • Damian: Is mainly worried about Alfred the cat and how he'll react to his new step-cats.
  • Duke: Polite, welcoming, genuinely congratulatory. Also practical. Makes sure all the valuable Wayne Manor paintings are secured to the wall. Especially any with a cat in them.
  • Harper: Takes over bachelorette party planning. Has binders of blackmail material on Bruce to show Selina. This is her moment.
  • Barbara: Is just glad the tabloids will stop shipping her and Batman.
IMPORTANT BATMAN PSA:

Bruce Wayne owns a “I’m Proud of My LGBT Child.” He wears it to work every now and then. No reporter can figure out which kid it is. (Spoiler: Its more than one)

  • [In a horrormovie]
  • Killer: I can see you
  • Jason: Really?
  • Killer:
  • Jason:
  • Jason: Do I look good?
  • Killer: Hell yeah, you slay
10

The Batkids aka Bruce Wayne has an adopting problem

  • <b> Random Civilian:</b> This is unbelievable- who do you think you are?! You can't just come in here and disre-
  • <b> Jason:</b> Fuck you! Come on, Dick. We're leaving! [Dramatic exit 1]
  • <b> Dick:</b> Yeah, fuck you! [Dramatic exit 2]
  • <b> Random Civilian:</b>
  • <b> Dick:</b> [Pops head back through door]
  • <b> Dick:</b> Just a quick- uh, sorry. He usually isn't like that- well, he is, but I'm not, I just... Sorry we shouted- actually I don't think Jason's sorry, but I am. Sorry. That I yelled. At you. Sir.
  • <b> Random Civilian:</b>
  • <b> Dick:</b>
  • <b> Dick:</b> Have a nice day.
  • <b> Dick:</b> [Pops back behind door]
  • <