richard armitage's words

No. 1 Thing I Loved about the Apple Store Q&A (Dec. 11, 2014): Wordless communication. (video)

ETA: Alternate caption: Eyebrow conversations.

This concludes my list of Top 5 Things I Loved about the Apple Store Q&A. Hope y’all enjoyed this one-year anniversary walk down memory lane! :’)

Everyone needs to stop what they are doing and go watch The Great Sperm Race, which is a not only a truly fantastic documentary about sperm, it’s narrated by RICHARD ARMITAGE.  Listen to me. Listen to my wisdom. 

  • Richard Armitage says all the naughty words you giggled at when you were seven.  Sex. Semen. Vagina. Orgasm. 
  • The entire fertilization operation is dramatized by dressing up grown men and women in white suits and having them run desperately through mountain ranges that symbolize the vaginal walls.
  • “The cervix is, quite simply, sperm hell.” 
  • They turn The Gherkin in London into a giant testicle.  Richard Armitage says the words “giant testicle.” 
  • You get to watch TV-appropriate sex between two average-looking white people while hearing Richard Armitage say phrases like “performance between the sheets.” 
  • At one point they go into a tangent about sex workers and LAPDANCES. 

In short, this documentary is a thing of beauty and you must watch it immediately. It’s called THE GREAT SPERM RACE. Narrated by RICHARD ARMITAGE. How could you go wrong?????