Everyone needs to stop what they are doing and go watch The Great Sperm Race, which is a not only a truly fantastic documentary about sperm, it’s narrated by RICHARD ARMITAGE. Listen to me. Listen to my wisdom.
Richard Armitage says all the naughty words you giggled at when you were seven. Sex. Semen. Vagina. Orgasm.
The entire fertilization operation is dramatized by dressing up grown men and women in white suits and having them run desperately through mountain ranges that symbolize the vaginal walls.
“The cervix is, quite simply, sperm hell.”
They turn The Gherkin in London into a giant testicle. Richard Armitage says the words “giant testicle.”
You get to watch TV-appropriate sex between two average-looking white people while hearing Richard Armitage say phrases like “performance between the sheets.”
At one point they go into a tangent about sex workers and LAPDANCES.
In short, this documentary is a thing of beauty and you must watch it immediately. It’s called THE GREAT SPERM RACE. Narrated by RICHARD ARMITAGE. How could you go wrong?????