rich inner life



I realised that most of the stories I’ve written have always dealt with the concept of being alone; never as a bad thing, though the worst it can be is melancholic, but as a trait that somehow belongs to the main characters which they have accepted as part of their being. I could then easily how it echoed the experience of most of my entire life, being a very lonely child who kept to herself. I’m still the same person essentially, I still have mental conversations with myself (I think I’m a very funny conversationalist; too bad my social anxiety prevents most people other than my friends from enjoying it), but I’ve accepted this constant trait of being alone and managed to turn it into something that opens doors for me to experience the world in ways I wouldn’t have noticed (try being in a field looking at the clouds passing by! That’s my positive association with being alone).

Being in an age where everyone is connected everywhere and talking to everyone every time (Facebook, anyone?), it can make us more afraid of being alone than we already naturally are. We all have a need to belong to each other. At the same time though we need to learn how to belong to ourselves, and personally I find that it’s a very important especially with so many things going on we could very easily lose ourselves. Having a rich inner life is just as important as having a rich outer life, and they both inform each other.

*I may have jumbled up loneliness and being alone as being the same thing. Yeah I know!! It’s just how I experienced it; sometimes I really hate how I’m unable to easily make friends, which often makes me feel negatively isolated especially in a new environment (I was ALONE in college for a year until I found my clique). It’s terrible. But still things worked out in the end. Until it does though, make a friend out of yourself in the meantime.

pluto & where you transform/ find power

~Pluto is the last generational planet and has the slowest orbit around the signs. Therefore, while some common generational themes can be found in the sign placements, the house placement should be focused on more when it comes to interpreting the individual. Most people here have their Pluto in Scorpio or Sagittarius. Ruled by Scorpio, Pluto shows what changes/truths you seek, how and where you transform yourself, the thin veil between powerfulness and powerlessness. Plutonian change is not as societal as Uranus’ systematic dismantling, but rather more internal, ruthless and intensely reformative.

Pluto in signs (more generational):

Transforming in….

Aries ♈: … an urgent, driven, bold way. themes of asserting independence
Taurus ♉: … a steady, enduring, collected way. themes of materialism
Gemini ♊: … a versatile, adaptable, communicative way. themes of exposed information and ideas
Cancer ♋: … an emotional, protective, defensive way. themes of intracommunity changes
Leo ♌: … a dramatic, creative, optimistic way. themes of indulgence
Virgo ♍: … a critical, practical, analytical way. themes of precision and self-mastery
Libra ♎: … a diplomatic, peaceful, harmonious way. themes of justice and fairness
Scorpio ♏: … a secretive, deep, intense way. themes of obsession and research discoveries
Sagittarius ♐: … a freedom-seeking, idealistic, expansive way. themes of travel/exploration and higher learning
Capricorn ♑: … a pragmatic, calculated, measured way. themes of industrialism and businesses
Aquarius ♒: … an unconventional, original and detached way. themes of humanitarianism and elitism
Pisces ♓: … a transcendental, sacrificial, idealistic way. themes of spirituality and addiction

Pluto in the houses (more specific to the individual):

Power struggles in or transformation within/through….

1st 🏠: … the self and the lifestyle. / constant regeneration of outlook and maybe appearance, feelings of alienation are possible. you are perceptive, aware of and sensitive to power struggles in your life. you find yourself holding many secrets for you feel powerful possessing knowledge that no one else does. you therefore prefer to keep your life private and keep things under wraps. you come off as intense, mysterious and have a magnetic presence that others are fascinated by. you may find yourself drawn to psychology and investigative research… you love a complex challenge.

2nd 🏠: … your self-worth and the acquisition of resources. / you may find your possession and resources constantly taken or ‘stolen’ from you, or otherwise inconsistent. you are insecure about your value and may find yourself often worrying about financial stability. you are incredibly resourceful though, and just as capable of getting the finances you lost back.. obsessive about wealth and acquiring possessions, you put in much effort in achieving the stability you seek. you may find yourself constantly throwing things out to get new things… you experience a lot of fundamental changes in your values and principles, maybe even appearance. may have a strong, booming voice that is lower in pitch

3rd 🏠: … communication and thoughts. / inquisitive & curious, you are a deep, pensive thinker and have an incredible perceptive awareness and analytical appreciation of things. you find yourself fascinated by new topics and may be prone to obsessive thinking.. regardless, you have a need to be heard and you communicate in a powerful, intelligent way that makes people listen. your ideas have much depth and ruthless wisdom. learning is a transformative experience to you and you may find yourself an extremely knowledgeable/high-achieving student. linked to educational investigative research & linguistics

4th 🏠: … the childhood and the domestic life. / you may have experienced a intense/turbulent past or a childhood with controlling, authoritarian figures that made you feel powerless. you may have deeply repressed desires because of this or are reserved and secretive about your background as a result, developing much protective armouring.. now you feel a need to subtly be in control of family traditions/in control of your ‘inner circle’; a powerful head of house. you are intensely protective of the people you consider a part of that inner circle. you likely have an unusual domestic life. some with this placement experience a sudden change in homes, developing resourcefulness & resilience through changing environments.

5th 🏠: … self-expression and leisure. / you have a deep creativity and a strong, intense & dramatic manner of self expression. more inclined to take pleasure/leisurely activities and romance seriously. there a lot of shifts in the love life and you may find yourself swinging from extremes, going from intense and transformative relationships and lovers to none at all. capable of forming extremely strong bonds with children or being very protective of your own. you may take pleasure in gambling or occult interests. possessive or obsessive lover

6th 🏠: … jobs and helping others. / obsessive concern over health & hygiene. you are passionate about servicing/helping others and do this through transformative means, may gravitate to psychology or therapy-related jobs as well as “inside” jobs (associated with spies). intense workaholic, you take your duties and work seriously. you may preoccupy yourself with work or helping others so much that you neglect your own health, self destructive tendencies that affect health are common with this placement.

7th 🏠: … partnerships and your interactions with others. / you are prone to having/gravitating to extreme and intense relationships - that’s where your passion is most apparent. destructive, obsessive, possessive lover/attracts destructive, obsessive, possessive partners (romantic or otherwise). similarly, may be controlling or attract controlling partners. you have good investigative skills and an ability to uncover secrets from others. you look for intimacy and depth in your interactions. you may be a lone wolf or have a dramatic social life. you’re reserved and private about your relationships because you hold their transformative powers dear.

8th 🏠: … your legacy and your intimate relationships. / you may have obsessive or compulsive tendencies and desires. capable of extreme regeneration and powerful inner transformation. passionate sexuality or strong intimate needs. you have a perceptive, psychic sensitivity and awareness. you are also capable of high self-control and discipline - empowers you and ignites you due to the potency of your powerful desires that you once thought were out of control. you don’t take things at face value which is why this placement is strongly associated with psychology, healing and investigative research; you look beyond the surface, aren’t afraid to dig deep or get your hands dirty. you’re resourceful, measured and calculated. resilient and not easily scared off, you can overcome extreme or adverse situations. you do have a tendency to expose hidden matters within yourself and others though, which may land you in trouble…

9th 🏠: … your beliefs and spiritual exploration. / you may be extremely religious or deeply attracted to spirituality or philosophy. expansion is fascinating to you and you have a strong drive to explore new horizons/pursue higher learning. if you do manage to pursue this, you might find yourself adept at or drawn to subjects that ‘uncover’ and expose hidden or secret matters, or subjects that have depth and insight on ‘taboo’/untalked about matters like life and death. you are unafraid of new or unfamiliar experiences, in fact you find them quite empowering. you are likely interested in exploring places that have a lot of history, depth or obscure legends in them. this placement is linked to archaeology, criminology, teaching & medicine.

10th 🏠: … the public image and the career. / you project a powerful, intense persona and come off as intimidating to others. your aspirations are high and you are ruthlessly ambitious. you have a magnetic presence that demands recognition and works hard for it… you look for powerful/high authority positions and likely aspire to be the boss. you are sensitive to power struggles in the workplace and are calculated in approaching such situations… sometimes you attract such opposition and challenges from others, for the public perception of you is controversial and divided. you can be self-serving and greedy but you are capable of incredible resourcefulness in your climb to the​ top. observant, very perceptive and may have a natural affinity with subjects that require insightful depth like psychology and (surprise) astrology. good investigative skills; you probe beyond the surface. celebrities with this placement can be very controlling of their public image. linked to career crises and you find power in overcoming them

11th 🏠: … the community and your circle of friends. / you are loyal and protective of your friends, capable of forming intense & deep bonds but you like to have power over them and tend to be lone wolf due to your controlling nature & seeming unapproachable. regardless, you are incredibly perceptive of changes in your environment and you find communities and friendships incredibly transforming. you like to change/manipulate group dynamics. you also have very fixed and potentially extreme ideals and views that may attract opposition from others - no matter, your persuasive skills are subtle but powerful. you may find power in forming friendships in outlandish, unusual places..

12th 🏠: … the subconscious and your solitude. / you face deep internal transformations in your alone time - a rich, and intense inner life that you may be inclined to keep hidden. repressed violent urges may manifest in your dreams. there’s a lot about yourself you may be unaware of that you will only learn through deep introspection and contemplation. you find great power behind the scenes and are inclined to isolate yourself from the ‘spotlight’/confining chains of society. you are pensive, secretive and incredibly layered. be careful of your suppressed rage - you can be unaware of how angry you are and it comes up in volcanic outbursts..

These are all my own interpretations, for more posts like this please follow @jupiteronic

Natal Retrograding Planets

Retrograde comes from Latin for “backward step.” Astrologically, the planets are felt on a more inner, deeper level and expressed more inwardly than overtly. They swirl on the soul lining rather than project through the body  

Born with Mercury rx:
Thoughtful, slips into meditation easily, speculative, reflective, constant conversations with the mind that are not verbalised, trouble grasping new ideas, uncomfortable in academic settings, slow processing of information, takes time to respond, shy, self conscious about communication, self critical, can have dyslexia

Born with Venus rx:
Approaches relationships and social encounters with seriousness, takes responsibility for others, has a unique portal of social ideologies and values, reticent to enter relationships and intimate experiences, creatively talented, attraction to odd and unusual romances, emotionally disconnected, nonmaterial

Born with Mars rx:
Trouble self starting and initiating, slow inertia, difficulty with self assertion and aggression, lost ego, high level of responsibility, self competitive, represses bouts of anger, difficulty finding passion, sexually compulsive and ritualistic, rage turns inward - at the self, misplaced fury

Born with Jupiter rx:
Extremely rich and broad inner life, slips into meditation easily, learns best in solitude, easy access to the internal divine guru, unique view of philosophy and the universe, excessive nature, easy weight gain, more concerned with inner riches than material, original belief systems, trouble interacting with others 

Born with Saturn rx:
Hyper diligent and responsible, streams of ambition and endurance, self contemptuous and critical, self demanding, places high expectations on the self, paternalistic, prefers to work in solitude, feels victimised, feelings of inferiority, need for security and safety, weak or absent father figure

Born with Uranus rx:
Spontaneous bursts of universal insights, unique and original domestic and social habits, views the self as the one who needs rebelling against, appears conventional but is quite eccentric within, makes abrupt and unpredictable sweeping life changes, highly acute intuition

Born with Neptune rx:
Swirls with internal imaginative imagery and fantasy, tendency to procrastinate, struggles turning vision into action, enjoys the use of drugs alcohol and hypnotics in solitude, compelled to raise the consciousness of other people, oversensitive, self sacrificial, requires copious time in solitude and meditative states, can fall into trances

Born with Pluto rx:
Believes one was born with a special purpose in life, struggles overcoming trauma, self destructive, intimate with the processes of life death and rebirth, challenged with their own internal depths, self regenerative, resourceful in the face of pain, provoked to heal and transform others, faces strong resistance from others throughout life


signs you’re pulling your own weight in a healthy close peer relationship: things to strive for

you know and like them

You know what’s really important to the other person, their hopes and goals and pet peeves and preferences and fears, and you consciously integrate this knowledge into how you interact with them.

You’re curious about their thoughts and opinions. You’re aware they have a rich inner life and you get excited to find out what they think and how they feel about things, even things that have nothing to do with you. You ask questions and you truly listen to and try to understand the answers.

You seek out opportunities to share experiences with them. You want to be around them and you want to understand why they love the things they love. You want to welcome them into enjoying new things you think they’d like based on your knowledge of them and their preferences.

When they don’t like something you like and vice versa, it isn’t threatening, because you both respect each other and there are other things you can do together. 

you are emotionally available

You pay attention to the kindnesses they show you, and you show appreciation when they listen to you vent or are patient with your foibles or remember your favourite things or make your life brighter in any way.

You make an effort to show these same little kindnesses to them. You often ask about and try to keep track of what they like. You make tiny gestures all the time just to make them happy, and you don’t keep score of them in hopes of getting something you want.

You are honest and considerate with them. When you’re upset about something else you don’t blame it on them or start a fight just to fight. When you need to bring a problem to their attention you do it in a loving way. You don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep and you don’t pretend you feel anything you don’t feel.

You work hard to understand yourself and what’s important to you, what you want and what you feel and why you feel the way you do. Even if you aren’t totally sure what you’re really feeling yet, you try to share yourself with the other person. You’re willing to be vulnerable and let them see your fears and your flaws and your complicated feelings about things.

you actively respect them as your equal

You respect them as a person. There are things you admire about them and you find some of their ‘flaws’ endearing and it’s okay that there are things about them you don’t like because they’re a whole complicated person and you appreciate them for the whole package of who they are. You don’t secretly think you’re better than them. You don’t see them as disposible or fungible or a means to an end.

You respect them as the authority on their life/experiences and acknowledge that however well you know them, there are complexities to them you’ll never fully grasp. You never assume that you’re done getting to know them or that you could make their choices better.

You believe them when they tell you how they feel. You don’t ever try to convince them their feelings are wrong even if those real feelings are in response to a misunderstanding or have a context you don’t fully understand.

You’re comfortable letting them take the lead as often as you do, and you’re willing to compromise on things that affect both of you because their opinions are just as important and well-reasoned as your own. You acknowledge their capacity to know things you don’t or have good ideas you didn’t think of.

you do relational work

You talk to each other when either of you feels relationship problems arising, even if you don’t fully understand them yet, and you work together as a team to keep each other feeling safe and respected and listened to. You work to be patient and supportive and to not take it personally when other things are bothering them.

You apologize, freely and without expecting them to force themselves to heal faster to make you feel better. Your apologies are about letting them know you understand and respect and care about their hurt and that you are choosing not to hurt them in that way again. You don’t have hidden agendas.

When there are choices to be made that affect both of you, you talk them through together and decide together. You don’t expect them to do all the planning work, and you don’t make choices that affect them without their input.

you respect their time and effort and don’t act entitled

You understand you aren’t the only thing they have going on. You give them space to have other interests and friends and you appreciate your time together without making them feel obligated to pay attention to you 24/7. You also make time for them while maintaining your own interests and other relationships.

You make an effort to seek out other sources of emotional support and connection so that you are not relying on this person to meet all your emotional needs.

You don’t expect them to do personal work for you that you’re capable of doing, and if they do such work, you intentionally do similar work for them, work that needs to be done just as often and requires just as much time/effort, because you care about them and don’t want to burden them with extra work.

If they wash the dishes you use, you wash the floors they walk on. If they do the grocery shopping, you the cooking. You don’t ever take it for granted that it’s their job to do personal maintenance work (chores, home care, body care, appointment planning, kinship work) for you without reciprocation. If you are capable of meeting your own basic needs but haven’t bothered to learn to do that work or why it’s important, you seek out resources on your own to learn.

If you genuinely are not capable of doing your own basic self/home maintenance due to disability etc., you don’t assume they will automatically take over that work from now on because of your relationship. You have frank and honest discussions about your needs and their capabilities/limitations/interest wrt helping out.

you actively prioritize their happiness

You make sure they know you appreciate their nos. Every no reassures you that their yeses really mean yes, and you check in all the time to find out what they want and don’t want, because it’s so important to you that they don’t just grin and bear it.

You want them to be happy. You are willing to be deeply inconvenienced without them knowing about it if it will make them happier. You routinely spend time thinking about their feelings and how your words and actions will impact them. If you think they’re unhappy because of you, you want to know why because you are genuinely willing to put hard work into making them happy.

If they’re unhappy because you’re incompatible in a fundamental way, you’d rather give up your relationship with them than let them stay miserable because of it.

In a happy and healthy relationship, everyone involved ticks every one of these boxes.

The INFJ Explained

INFJ - are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.

INFJ - has a unique ability to intuit others’ emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people.

INFJ - are guided by a deeply considered set of personal values. They are intensely idealistic, and can clearly imagine a happier and more perfect future. They can become discouraged by the harsh realities of the present, but they are typically motivated and persistent in taking positive action nonetheless.

INFJ - want a meaningful life and deep connections with other people. They do not tend to share themselves freely but appreciate emotional intimacy with a select, committed few. Although their rich inner life can sometimes make them seem mysterious or private to others, they profoundly value authentic connections with people they trust.

INFJ - appear quiet, caring and sensitive, and may be found listening attentively to someone else’s ideas or concerns. They are highly perceptive about people and want to help others achieve understanding. INFJs are not afraid of complex personal problems; in fact, they are quite complex themselves, and have a rich inner life that few are privy to.

INFJ - They reflect at length on issues of ethics, and feel things deeply. Because Counselors initially appear so gentle and reserved, they may surprise others with their intensity when one of their values is threatened or called into question. Their calm exterior belies the complexity of their inner worlds.

INFJ - are such complex people, they may be reluctant to engage with others who might not understand or appreciate them, and can thus be hard to get to know. They are fiercely loyal to their own system of values and will not follow others down a path that does not feel authentic to them. When they sense that their values are not being respected, or when their intuition tells them that someone’s intentions are not pure, they are likely to withdraw.

INFJ - We don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings so we don’t express when they hurt us, until they have hurt us several times. After building up then we express it, not always on the best manner.

INFJ - The advice they give can sound very blunt or negative, but we are only being completely honest about the many sides we see to a situation. Never come to us for advice unless yo want the truth-bitter or not.

INFJ - very protective of their friends and loved ones. Will more often show their ‘mean’ side when their loved ones are threatened than any other reason or time.

INFJ - Are highly sensitive and are prone to the ‘door slam’ when hurt too badly or too often by the same person. Although they are sensitive, they are also reserved; the INFJ is a private sort, and is selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.

INFJ - “Everything is fine” demeanor.

Popular hobbies for the INFJ include writing, art appreciation, cultural events, reading, socializing in small, intimate settings, and playing or listening to music.

I have lately been intrigued by correlations between astrology and highly sensitive people (or HSP for short). Personally, my therapist who has known me for 6 years has said that without a doubt I am one. In have a lot of water in my chart so that makes sense as to why I am highly sensitive.

I ask you to reblog this post and put down your sun, moon, and dominant element and sign as well as how many of the following statements you agree with:

-  I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input

-Other people’s moods affect me

-I have a rich, complex inner life

-I am deeply moved by the arts of music

-My nervous system sometimes becomes overwhelmed and I have to be by myself to recover

-I get annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once

Note: being HSP is not a bad thing, nor not being one. We all are different and there is no right or wrong way to be.

Malice in Wonderland - The 3 Scorpio Evolutions Scorpio is a deeply complex and fascinating sign. The musical ubiquity of Fixed fire and water fusing in Plutonian nuclear power exacerbates the intensity of an individual given potential to express three evolutionary levels of consciousness. The shadowy scorpion, high flowing eagle and transcendental phoenix represent multidimensional pillars in the Scorpio psyche and the reserves of energy. The ruler of Scorpio is Pluto, the Roman god of the underworld; associating this sign with dying, multiple ego death, reincarnation, occult studies, transformation and frequent personality overhauls. Looking back on their lives, Scorpio individuals see the resonant photographs of their former selves and shells of older characters. Not all Scorpio people manage to grow phoenix wings, or express the venomous scorpion features, and yet all Scorpio’s possess the indwelling potential to ascend into spiritual flight. Voices of ancestors, cryptic etheric imprints, residual past life trauma and fixed, frozen water line the Scorpio consciousness and develop organic, and seemingly inorganic processes that erupt from the subconscious. Before we are allowed to progress from Scorpio to Sagittarius, we are forced to wrestle the serpent in the Orphicus constellation through the Ascelpius cradle, the healing child of Chiron, suggesting an evolutionary healing process and the acquisition of cryptic universal secrets are the tools for cosmic combat and the passageway through to the Sagittarian light.

The characteristics of the lower evolved scorpion individual are more widely recognised and seemingly more pronounced throughout society. This could relate to the mainstream media’s fascination with dismal, questionable personalities and frequent reports on crime and injustice that illuminate the darker shade of human consciousness. Anger, aggression, destructive defense mechanisms, malice and jealousy are scorpion characteristics which may spill into illegal and contemptuous activity. There tends to be an overwhelming, uncontrollable desire for power and a strong resistance to suppressive figures or moral authority. The scorpion traditionally represents the animal crawling low along the earth but having its sting on automatic reflex. Many examples of scorpion energies are found in politics and corporate looting where the Mars influence strangles water. Tony Abbott, the Prime Minister of Australia is a classic exemplification of the lowest evolved Scorpio. His years as opposition leader tugged politics into a murkier low when attacks on the government targeted character and deceived the public into falsely voting for the opposition. During the a hung parliament when trying to win the votes of the independents, Abbott informed member Tony Windsor, “ I would do anything for this job. The only thing I wouldn’t do is sell my arse, but I’d have to give serious thought to it.” His policies are frequently dismantled to suit corporate interests and act under the investment of bodies who promised the lure of power. Tony Abbott is an example of a Scorpio who sold his soul for a taste of power. There maybe altruistic pangs to improve humanity, though many will attain their authoritative position and have no plans to implement a better collective change. Kundalini energy may be directed to its lowest form of sexual promiscuity or aggression. There may be a desire for immortality, and a reactive and nebulous fear of death.

The Scorpio eagle has managed to ascend beyond some of the Mars fire, although the shadowy side still makes its presence known. The eagle has developed insight to the darker aspect of his personality and makes a conscious effort to dissociate the two from each other. There are resounding business, political and justice seeking energies here although practices may cross into unethical territory. The eagle wrangles with the scorpion paranoia and intrinsic distrust of society at large. Most people are viewed as being potential harmful and fierce psychological defense mechanisms are erupted in self protection. Life’s mysteries, universal laws, life, death and the occult are alluring fascinations and both white and black magic may be experimented with. The eagle begins to take flight and harness the deep profound Pluto energies, the feminine wisdom of water and develop a soaring eyed view of the world. The intrinsic urges to merge with others on a deeper level than the physical begins transpiring, and the awareness of a psychic relation between others develops. While the scorpion may be concerned about primal sex needs void of intimacy, the eagle desires a deeper, emotional communion. They will typically strike without warning, indulge in some sleuth activity and negotiate dark impulses when it comes to justice seeking and neutralizing society’s imbalance.

In their travels through forbidden realms, the divine Scorpio phoenix has experienced multiple ego death across his lifetime. The stinging scorpion and shaky eagle has metamorphised into an illuminated, transcendent healing force that can transform anyone in their presence. The universal symbol of medicine; the double snake encircled under wings is a reflection of the Scorpio phoenix and the transcendent healing potentials. Plutonian energy relates to X-Rays, pharmaceuticals, etheric healing, natural sorcery and herbal medicine. The occult wisdom of centuries is conveyed through their incredible empathy and rich, mystical inner life. The phoenix is aware of his vengeful, shadow side and has swallowed the demons to give him power, a greater power, the one he has realised stems only from, and to, love. This is the embodiment of destruction becoming the highest form of creation, where they rise from the ashes of their own obliteration and claim a new life blood. Scorpio phoenix individuals can reach meditative trance states, gifts of prophecy, astral travel and psychic awareness; and many become acclaimed spiritual healers, clairvoyants and travelers who scatter their healing light and love across humanity. I know a Scorpio phoenix who runs a renowned corporate business and remains a charming, kind and engaged employer. As soon as he finishes work, he rips of his business suit, practices meditative bonding with this partner and goes off to teach a class on sun salutation and tai chi. He channels his volatile intensity into scattering his divine wisdom about life and death and promoting interpersonal warmth amongst humanity. You really get the feeling there is so much light just bursting within the surface, and he lives quite a conservative daily life with a rich, personal night spirit. The phoenix is largely concerned with universal mysteries, investigating magic and their contribution of humanity. They are aware of god indwelling, the divine force firing within them and negotiate their potential with this power. Phoenix Scorpio are survivors. Emotionally, they may perish in the ashes of their own destructive nature, but they can also fly and erupt into the most beautiful, soul glowing shooting star.

Balalaika is the Perfect Strong Female Character: Part 1


There’s a reason I used the softest portrait of Balalaika for his essay that I could find: for all the talk of what a “badass” she is, she owns her femininity. She neither plays up her sexuality as a “vixen” nor downplays it as a “tomboy.” She wears her hair long because she wants to, and it doesn’t get in the way. She has long, well-manicured nails because she wants to have them, and they don’t get in the way. Anyone who makes the mistake of making assumptions about her sensitivities as a woman quickly finds out that she…thinks it’s completely irrelevant.

In essence, I think that’s what’s great about Balalaika as a female character: she just is who she is. She values her objectives above anything else. She doesn’t try to prove anything to anybody, because she stays so focused that she doesn’t have to. 

Plenty of people call her “fry face” or “that Ruski bitch” behind her back, but never to her face. That’s not because they think she’ll take personal offense, or even that one of her male subordinates will kill them to “defend her honor.” It’s purely because if you’re the type of person who would say that, you’re on unfriendly terms with her. If you’re on unfriendly terms and you see her or one of her subordinates face to face, you’re already dead. Nothing she does is ever completely personal. She is ruthless, but never malicious or spiteful. 

That’s not to say that she’s emotionally flat pragmatist robot. She clearly has a rich inner life. She often feels compassion for her enemies, and has real friendships with outsiders like the members of the Lagoon Company. In keeping with such complexity, she’s not opposed to random acts of kindness. 

The same woman who got discharged from the Russian military for saving a child in Afghanistan here…

Is the same woman who looks a child assassin (who tortured one of her subordinates to death) in the eye as she has her snipers shoot them in the leg. The show doesn’t show it in real time, of course, but apparently it takes him several minutes to slowly bleeds to death in the clip below. In both cases she did what she did because it would be “shameful” to do otherwise in a way that has nothing to do with her sex or gender. 

It’s no wonder the subordinate in question that the child murdered cried out for his “Capitán” until his last agonizing, grizzly final breath. 

Balalaika deeply respects and cares for her subordinates as much as hey respect and care for her. That becomes very apparent towards the end of the clip when she converses with the snipers who shot the boy about how emotionally difficult the entire ordeal was. If you don’t have the stomach to watch, I’ll spoil it for you now: it’s her right hand man who says “that was hard to watch.” Balalaika sincerely apologizes. 

There wasn’t a single moment of the scene in which she felt good about any of it.She simply calculated that such a method was absolutely necessary to honor the dead and maintain the reputation of Hotel Moscow, the crime syndicate that quite literally keeps Roanapur from collapsing in upon itself.

There are several moments throughout the series and OVA in which Balalaika seems outwardly calm and collected in moments of emotional turmoil. She will  will freely admit to feeling grief, regret, and/or hesitation about a ruthless action she has taken or is about to take. However, Rei Hiroe has written her win a way that never lets you think for even a second that she’s afraid to cry or express her emotions, and it is glorious!

Balalaika is so pragmatic at her core that she is more inclined to kill a rival mafia boss because their men are generally unruly rather than of any real threat they pose to her operation. She says as much to her right hand man while observing a yakuza beating Rock in an attempt to get attention from Revy. Her ire is raised not by the attack on her ally: she simply cannot stand to see “soldiers” misbehave. Both she and Sergeant Bosco (her right hand) say they wish they could wipe out the entire yakuza based on that unruly scene alone. Of course, no action is taken. She remarks upon it and moves on so as not to compromise her larger objective. 

I wouldn’t rule out possibility that she “breaks down and lets it all out” in private, and it certainly wouldn’t change my opinion of her. Given her position as the head of Hotel Moscow (and the most powerful person in all of Roanapur), those private moments are so few and far between that we never get to see them on the page or screen. Alternatively, she may be one of those people who doesn’t express sorrow with tears. Either way, you never get the sense that she’s struggling to “keep it together,”  in public, even when we know she feels emotionally devastated. That has nothing to do with being a woman: it has everything to do with being a good leader.

Unlike Berserk’s Casca, with her frequent emotional breakdowns on the battlefield over her commander/love interest, in front of her male subordinates, that gets men killed on more than one occasion…nobody feels the need to baby or defend Balalaika’s her. They respect her. They don’t treasure her as “their only flower.” (Sorry Judeau, but that line makes me cringe every time.)

Carefully observe the body language and positions of Balalaika and her subordinates carefully in this short clip.

She leads her men into battle. No henchman is ordered to handle the man who’s been running around town calling her a “fry faced Rutsky bitch,” and plotting to assassinate her. No subordinate dares to insult her by trying to handle the man himself. She doesn’t need them to because she can hold her own physically and mentally in a fight as well as any of her subordinates. 

If you pay attention to the overall context of the scene, it becomes clear that she didn’t come down there to kill him personally because she was offended by what he said about her. She felt it was necessary to maintain her relationship with Dutch and the Lagoon Company: a critical neutral party in her territory that she can’t afford to alienate. Balalaika is a very good friend to have indeed.

She’s a true leader that knows it’s her duty to protect and maintain order amongst her subordinates and the territory that she calls her own. In a better world, that would be the gold standard for leadership regardless of the sex or gender identity of the leader. 

That’s why I call her The True Goddess of War.™

Originally posted by warriormonk-devildog

NOTE: I titled this “part 1″ because there’s a lot more I want to write about her as a character. This started out as a much longer essay, but I decided to break things up for the sake of clarity and readability. Expect more Balalaika worship in the days and weeks to come. ^_~

Screencap source: Apres Moi Balalaika tribute AMV.

Special thanks to @opinionatedashellblog, @odilekuronuma (who wrote 2 of the 3 Casca analyses I linked to above) and @murasakihime. I wouldn’t have been inspired to write about any of the female characters I have from Black Lagoon thus far if it weren’t for you.


Dan Stevens:

“He’s a terrific actor, one of the best of his generation. I’ve seen him in several things and I’m always amazed by his versatility. And he can play characters who seem to have a rich inner life–you always think you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg.” [Moises Kaufman, director The Heiress Sunday Times magazine 9.9.12]

Saturn in the First House - Ribcaged Bird

“                                                I somehow have a feeling of being senselessly drawn, wandering senselessly through a senselessly obscene, absurd world.” - Virginia Woolf

The illusion of being trapped in his own skin leads the first house Saturn person into a dark tomb with himself acting as the cruel prison guard. The individual may feel as if his own individuality and unique expression is wrapped in a tangle hold and only amounts in shame. He prefers to take life seriously, and holds intrinsic fears about being disliked, embarrassed, or uncomfortable in social situations. He routinely second guesses the golden threads of his own talents and never quite feels good enough to shine like the diamond he is. The individual is however, quite well received socially, and appreciated for his dry and satirical humor, tremendous words of advice, and ability to inspire others to reach their dreams. When he smiles, the years drip away, and a fabulous, glow crosses his face like a beaming light. His smile is his most unforgettable feature.

The first house Saturn person may be anxious before entering new environments and prefer to approach the day with a cohesive plan and strategy. It is hard for him to openly trust others, and he is extremely reticent about letting other people in and revealing too much about himself. He places an awful load of responsibility on his shoulders beginning in childhood, where he felt duty bound and unable to enjoy the peaches of youth. The individual is highly dependable, and retains his independence and tremendous resilience even in the darkest of moments. Saturn is the closest occult sign, so with the wise wizard placed in the house of the self, the individual tends to possess an anointed interest and expertise in spiritual matters, sacred symbolism, and divine intention. He enjoys copious time in solitude and needs regular patterns of escape from the world. Even though he feels self contemptuous, he has an unconscious ability to bring out the best in others, and people sincerely want to impress him. His maternal and paternal instincts are second to none, and he feels very protective of other people.

The individual with a first house Saturn is a diligent worker, concerned with self image, and pours enormous energies into garnering his success and working tirelessly. The harsh lessons of life revealed themselves at a young age, and as a result, he feels decades older than his time. The individual may feel disconnected from his own body, as if he is on the outside staring in, like his bones don’t move as quickly as his mind. Vicious insecurities, the fear of rejection, criticism and disappointment are internal daggers that cultivate his arduous inner life, so he becomes extremely driven to develop self sufficiency and independence. But in doing this he only strengthens the walls that he builds around himself that stop other people entering. The many barriers Saturn throws in his pathway cultivate the jewels of success, recognition and the development of a rich inner life, unfathomable and impossible to articulate in language. Saturn in the First House is associated with the culmination of the purist worldly wisdom.


MBTI Types as Accurate Stereotypes + Surprising Characteristics


Stereotype that’s true: Whatever the ladder is, they’re heading straight for the top.
Surprising characteristic: Actually genuinely interested in how people are doing and what’s going on with them. 


Stereotype that’s true: Logical planners to the max.
Surprising characteristic: Flirtatious and/or coy as all get out.


Stereotype that’s true: Will 10/10 give motivational speeches. Also very sensitive to accidentally hurting people’s feelings.
Surprising characteristic: Can be very stubborn/adamant about things.


Stereotype that’s true: Will stare into your soul and try to discover your essence.
Surprising characteristic: Incredible goofballs that love to have fun.


Stereotype that’s true: 10/10 will be super hard on you, 10/10 don’t mean for you to take it personally.
Surprising characteristic: Enjoy being controversial.


Stereotype that’s true: The most incredibly steady people you will ever meet in your entire life.
Surprising characteristic: Are generally really personable and happy to be around people. Very non-intimidating and interested in making things work for everyone.


Stereotype that’s true: Get really anxious about taking care of people.
Surprising characteristic: Absolutely excel at scathing remarks.


Stereotype that’s true: Will bake you cookies and their hair is always perfect.
Surprising characteristic: Rich and complex inner life that goes way beyond the smiles and nods they give everyone on the outside.


Stereotype that’s true: Ramble. A lot.
Surprising characteristic: Take things a lot less personally than you’d think, fans of honesty over placating. 


Stereotype that’s true: Somewhere far, far away in their own little world.
Surprising characteristic: Could easily level you with one well-placed verbal blow and argue you into the ground.


Stereotype that’s true: Like to debate with people and play devil’s advocate.
Surprising characteristic: Don’t like to back people into corners or decisions.


Stereotype that’s true: Nerds to the max.
Surprising characteristic: Good at engaging with people/carrying on conversations when they want to be.


Stereotype that’s true: Love to party.
Surprising characteristic: Really need time for themselves, more so than you’d think. 


Stereotype that’s true: Care about people a lot. Also really into fashion.
Surprising characteristic: Sinnamon rolls to the max.


Stereotype that’s true: Must. Always. Be. Active.
Surprising characteristic: Can make a plan and make it work quite well. 


Stereotype that’s true: Sports and hobbies are their thing and they are very good at them.
Surprising characteristic: Take their loyalties extremely seriously.

Some (Of The Many) Things I Love About Daisy Johnson

She’s Agents of SHIELD’s Steve Rogers (But Better)

It’s simply inspiring to see a female character (and a woman of color on top) that gets the same treatment as male heroes get: Agents of SHIELD is her origin story, the mythology of the show revolves around her, she is the moral and emotional center of the narrative, and she is conceived as a Captain America type, a character to look up to, a character who inspires, a character who trusts her instincts about knowing right from wrong, and doesn’t hesitate to do anything in pursuit of that goal. She un unmovable in her drive for truth, justice and protection for the oppressed. She’s a badass, but not just because of her world-destroying powers or her amazing fighting skills, but for what she represents. That’s unusual in a female character, but AoS treats Daisy like the Marvel movies treat Steve Rogers (except she is way better).

Keep reading

classicwom  asked:

Top Five Dan Stevens Roles

Oh my you do ask ‘em! They’ve changed (perhaps) significantly over this year (and there’s still two movies to go…)

This is a personal favorite list rather than some accumulation of critical reviews. I’ll try to do a variety and not just the most recent roles…

All roles that demonstrate  this quotation: “He’s a terrific actor, one of the best of his generation. I’ve seen him in several things and I’m always amazed by his versatility. And he can play characters who seem to have a rich inner life–you always think you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg.” [Moises Kaufman, director The Heiress Sunday Times magazine 9.9.12]

And since it’s more fun I”ll rank them 5 to 1

**honorable mentions --David Cameron /Hilde. He speaks fluent German and is charismatic as hell. I love every minute he’s in Hilde. And James Harvey/The Ticket. So damned good.

Originally posted by andsowewalkalone

Originally posted by gifrustrations

5. Morris Townsend/The Heiress – Dan’s performance tried to give MT some depth of character (at least in the latter stages of the play) rather than a one note mustache twirling villain or petty minded egotist who never learns his lesson. I do realize (Jessica Chastain) Catherine’s empowerment–but it’s that much more poignant to me in how (in this 2012-13)  Broadway production it comes at the potential cost of love. I liked that. And besides his perfect period American accent! That scene with Aunt Lavinia with the brandy decanter..! His inability to understand Catherine’s rejection at the end as he’s pounding on the door. I saw it in person. I will always remember it. 

4. Nick Guest/The Line of Beauty–  The raw vulnerability in Nick from the very first time you see him on screen drew me in and hasn’t let go. He’s very observant of the world but gullible. He’s far from perfect but yet despite his yearnings and his innocence, he knows who he is and what he wants–even if what he wants is impossible to attain. It’s that combination I find fascinating.

In E1 The Love Chord. The scenes with Catherine discussing “what’s it like being gay?” The awkward but thrilling meeting with Leo. The scene in the antique shop. The end of that relationship… I love it.

“I could have had her on the floor…” Nick, wasted and bitter, reliving the glorious moment he escorted the Lady herself (Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher) onto the dance floor when she wouldn’t given anyone else the time of day. It was –for a moment– a thing of beauty.

Originally posted by gwendoline

3.  Pre-curse Prince/the Beast/post-curse Prince/ Beauty and the Beast
The movie is about seeing past the exterior and that also counts for the Prince. He’s the same underneath as he was as the Beast– bookish and in love with Belle. So love the Beast yes…but also love the man he grew back into. And love the relish with which Dan plays the pre curse Prince. And admire his commitment and tenacity to do all the motion/facial capture for the Beast. And the singing… don’t ever forget the singing. 

2. Matthew Crawley/ Downton Abbey. My soul mate. Every time I think he’s not as important to me I see something on tumblr that reminds me and I fall even more in love. I love Matthew. He’s fictional but I don’t care. He’s sweet and kind yes but he doesn’t suffer fools and he’s the only one Mary will listen to and restrain her insufferable tendencies.His face is a reflection of his soul. And it is beautiful. Dan creates a full blooded person out of what could have been an average bland romantic lead. And for this I love him 

1. David Haller/Legion. But now comes the time to admit that maybe…just maybe… David Haller is my favorite role. I’ve resisted saying this because I love Matthew so much. But David is just fucking fantastic. He’s scared of who he is…who he might be… what he might become.

Originally posted by nevjerni-toma

He’sin love with Syd but I suspect that will be tested in ways they cannot even begin to imagine…

Originally posted by legioned

He is complex.  He works with the Shadow King in Ep5– he’s not taken over by it.He’s the one who fights to free himself from it. I needed that to happen. I love that we don’t know everything yet.

Originally posted by davidhallerdaily

But that’s also why I’m waiting to see with David. I’m waiting for S2 to see just what new crazy shit is brought down on David and how he handles it.  Every gif, every picture, every time I sit down and rewatch Legion I see new things. I get drawn in all over again. Dan is so excited and turned on by this role. By it’s promise to give him free reign to create a vulnerable, sweet, cunning, confused man full of superhuman mutant badassery. 

Bring it!

so there you have it… a classic long rambly love letter to Dan Stevens… :) 

And yes I realize The Guest exists… believe me I do. I was trying to be different… 

Originally posted by thehandmaidn


myers-briggs personality types

↳ INFJ (The Counselor)

INFJs often appear quiet, caring and sensitive, and may be found listening attentively to someone else’s ideas or concerns. They are highly perceptive about people and want to help others achieve understanding. INFJs are not afraid of complex personal problems; in fact, they are quite complex themselves, and have a rich inner life that few are privy to. They reflect at length on issues of ethics, and feel things deeply. Because Counselors initially appear so gentle and reserved, they may surprise others with their intensity when one of their values is threatened or called into question. Their calm exterior belies the complexity of their inner worlds.

Because INFJs are such complex people, they may be reluctant to engage with others who might not understand or appreciate them, and can thus be hard to get to know. Although they want to get along with others and support them in their goals, they are fiercely loyal to their own system of values and will not follow others down a path that does not feel authentic to them. When they sense that their values are not being respected, or when their intuition tells them that someone’s intentions are not pure, they are likely to withdraw.


  • least common type in the population
  • among highest of all types in college GPA
  • among most likely to stay in college
  • most likely of all types to cope with stress by seeing a therapist
  • highest of all types in marital dissatisfaction
  • personal values include spirituality, learning, and community service
  • commonly found in careers in religion, counseling, teaching, and the arts
  • famous infjs: gandhi, carl jung, eleanor roosevelt, and emily bronte
Enneagram Interdependence

Compliant types need Withdrawn types to relax them and keep them from spreading too thinly.

Compliant types need Assertive types to break them out of their routines and show them the value in doing things for their own benefit and enjoyment.

Withdrawn types need Assertive types to help them unleash the beauty and chaos within.

Withdrawn types need Compliant types to give them structure and direct them to where their skills are most needed in the world.

Assertive types need Compliant types to show them the value of being part of something bigger than themselves.

Assertive types need Withdrawn types to show them that a rich inner life can be a strong foundation for the rich outer lives they crave.

I’m thinking a lot about my own, and other people’s, frustration with recs for diverse books/media that simply list the identity categories that the characters belong to without giving much or any information about the actual story or themes. And I really think it’s a symptom of a larger problem in how we talk about progressiveness in media. 

There’s a lot of talk about how “diversity” and “inclusion” aren’t enough, and that we also have to pay close attention to /how/ marginalized characters are treated - are they given as rich an inner life as the other characters? are they granted the same kind of respect and legitimacy? do they exist comfortably and realistically enough in their identity to avoid tokenism? does the narrative subvert common dehumanizing tropes about people like them? And it’s all a good start. But I think that when analyzing media, it’s good to look beyond identity categories and think critically about /what kind of story is being told/. 

Because things like abstract narrative structure and theme are just as relevant to the questions of oppression and diversity. We shouldn’t just be asking if a story has marginalized characters who are treated well, but if the story is creating an environment that is challenging to traditional modes of thought and conducive to a space in which more varied forms of human existence are acceptable. Does the story have a moral authority figure/system that is allowed to be challenged or called out when it is fallible? Does it make numerous forms of happiness or goodness available to the characters, or just relegate them into one acceptable manner of being? Does it have stratified categories of human connection, or does it celebrate varied forms and intensity levels of relationships? Does it acknowledge the messy reality of the harm that people do to one another, and show people who are fully culpable of doing harm while also being victims of harm themselves? Are people allowed to exist in complicated and multifaceted manners, or are they either put on a pedestal or condemned?

Because my sense is that all of those things are in some way related to systems of oppression and marginalization, and that the amount of questioning and subversion that the narrative does should balance with the diversity of the cast. I didn’t love Sense8 /because/ it had queer characters and polyamory (though that was nice), I loved it because it prioritized character development and relationships over plot and emphasized the importance of different forms of connection and closeness. (And this was why I was more frustrated with season 2, because it seemed to be forsaking that in favor of mostly heterosexual, monogamous romantic relationships). It made sense for Sense8 to have a diverse cast, because the themes and the very structure of the story it was telling were not in line with a universally white, cis, straight cast. In contrast, this is why I found the Shades of Magic series so disappointing - despite its inclusion of queer characters of color (very cool!) the black and white morality and lack of depth and nuance in the characters ended up leaving me cold. The diversity felt like window dressing, not an important part of the story.

Basically, I think we need to take a more holistic approach to how we evaluate stories from a social justice standpoint, and look at the dynamics of narrative rather than simply pinpointing characters and debating whether or not they’re acceptable.